Red Sun at Midnight

Ralla · 01-03-2011, 12:14 AM

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Here comes the epicness >:3

It was closing in on the darkest part of the night when Ralla went to seek Kemo out. She was scared and needed him there with her, because she had had various omens of upset; most from the pit of her stomach. Her previous vision of red on snow haunted her, and her breath came ragged as she ran to the hollow where Kemo was. The sky was yet cloudy, but in all honesty, she wanted to know if he was still alright. The vision in Cour des Miracles had had them both shaking, but now she felt a real cause for worry. It wasn't often that such powerful or nagging feelings came to her, but when they did... Moon grant that I can prevent harm.

She had charted the stars and the cycles of the moon, and it had shown that that night was the night of the Harvest Moon; typically a good omen. But because of the alignment of some stars and the weather that was plaguing them with snow, it gave Ralla cause for much worry. While the Blood Moon Pack's symbol was that of a red moon, it symbolized worse things; things akin to the meaning of her old vision. "Kemo?" she called out, much like every other time that she seeked him out. She came over that crest of tree roots pure white that night; no beads, no tribal paint, no adornments save her necklaces and brand. Her pupils were dilated to soak in as much light as they could to allow vision, but still she searched for his scent. With a coat as light as theirs, either one would have no trouble finding each other, even in the pseudo-darkness.

She and Noss had long since planned to leave a few days from the current day to scout out the Halycon mountains for the journey south, and she most certainly didn't want to leave Kemo not knowing if he was alright or not. Moon, she didn't want to leave him at all. Would he come? Would he want to? Could she risk a blind wolf traversing snowy, treacherous mountains on her watch? She had to remind herself that he had already seen much of Nova Scotia on his own and travelled from the Moon Tribe to Nova Scotia despite his impairment--or not--and so she let that issue go. She joked with herself, if not only to lighten her own panic, that she was beginning to worry for him the same way that he said and acted like he worried for her. If we're not careful, we'll both turn gray long before our time... The ill-timed humor did nothing to soothe those pangs of terror in her gut, and so she continued to look for Kemo. If anything, she needed his strength. He often insisted that he was dangerous to her, but Ralla had come to depend on his sure-footedness to keep her steady. She could rely on that.

Moon walks. "Moon talks." Moon thinks.

Kemo Nishant · 01-03-2011, 09:03 PM

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OOC: 8D Hope you don't mind me affecting the weather a bit >.> Kodak moment alert :3 SoSuWriMo: 375 words

Kemo was of all places fast asleep at the moment. It had been a long day that day and he was fairly exhausted from the day's events. Ever since the day Ralla had left, hell he didn't even want to remember that day at all. Ever since then, however, he had focused on making himself stronger. He made sure to hunt every day, running through the forests and swimming in lakes and rivers for increasing distances to keep his endurance in shape, hefting rocks and logs to build his strength, and resting appropriately when needed.

Of course he was just on his way to do just that before the snow started really falling. Although he wasn't in any way unable to get to the hollowed out tree, he had decided to make a snow den, temporarily at least until the snow ceased to fall. He had done it many times before, growing up in the raging winters of Minnesota and on his journey to Nova Scotia as well, so it was no difference to him as he dug the snow den and curled up inside the blanketing snow.

The training took his mind off of things he didn't want to think about, faces he wasn't sure brought him pain or happiness anymore, especially one in particular. She haunted his dreams, echoed in his mind, and she was gone. He used her as motivation when he worked out, he used her to remind himself that the Moon was cruel, but most of all...despite everything that's happened, he missed her, and some could even so much as say...he loved her.

He still clung to that small possible hope that maybe she would return. She had returned before, she had told him there was nothing she wouldn't forgive him for, and she meant it. This thought brought a smile to his face even in his deep sleep, the walls of his snowy yet very warm den keeping him warm but also muffling him against the sound and merciless breeze, and the calling of his name by such a familiar voice. He slept on in his warm little snow den, unaware that he was no longer dreaming of Ralla, unaware that she was so close to him.

Kemo ”talks”, walks, and thinks.

Ralla · 01-06-2011, 08:54 PM

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Omg, the snow is perfect >:3 Time to put into effect what we've been planning for months and never did till now!

No answer came as she continued to call his name. Opaque twinkles of light escaped through the clouds now, and so her search grew more urgent. The winds blustered in uneven gusts, creating eddies and miniature swirls of phantom snow-dancers. There was a faint scent of Kemo in the hollow, but it was slightly stale, telling her he had moved on. Did he find somewhere else to shelter for the winter...? It was entirely possible. Sometimes it was wiser to shelter in low ground snow dens or caves than thatched huts because the snow could become too heavy and cave in a ceiling. But how far did he go...? She followed the newest traces of his scent, head bent low to the ground, even as she was in full optime form. He was not terriby far, based on the scent, but he was far enough to garner worry that she might lose the trail halfway through pursuit.

As if in one of her dreams, a translucent image appeared before her eyes. It was a butterfly--like one she had seen before--but it was darker. Black wings fluttered like shadows--intensly out of place in their snowy wonderland--while little white eyes with blue rims winked in and out of each beat. Ralla had seen the species before, back in her native lands during the spring. They were called Blue Moon butterflies, and represented the Blue Moon Pack largely because of the pack's demographics where the butterflies migrated. But the wings were the true key to their name. Trance-like, she followed the waking-dream through the snow; walk turning into a trot into a run. No matter how much faster she went, the butterfly remained as far away as before, like a rainbow. It was leading her on, much as the blue butterfly had with her meeting Anatoliy, but its feel was immeasurably different; more powerful, more urgent. Her feet were flying so fast over the icy roots and dark ground that she barely noticed where she was anymore. All she could think was faster, faster, faster.

With a small yelp, her foot caught on an upraised root that she had failed to avoid, and she went flying forward into an embankment of snow. Her arms cushioned most of the impact, but she felt something distinctly un-snow like beneath her. It was soft and warm, so Ralla opened her eyes to see what she had potentially crushed during the reverie. Opening her forest green eyes, she saw more white, but it belonged to a wolf. Looking up, muzzle inches from another's, she was more than shocked to see a familiar face; relief and panic mixed in her voice. "Kemo!" Oh, how relieved she was indeed. That blessed vision had led her to Kemo, and now that she knew where he was, barricaded emotions and fears burst forth from their dam. Water welled up at the corners of her eyes, although she refused to let them spill over. How could she cry when she had assured him she could take care of herself...? How could she burden him more by making him worry? It was just... Everything that had happened since they had met, and more. We're going back to the Tribe, I have to face Father. What will Kemo find out about his sight? What will brother tell Father? Will it all turn out alright? I don't want to leave. Will Kemo be alright? What about tonight? It's the night, I know it. What's going to happen? It all conglomerated as a choked sob escaped her throat, unchecked then as her thoughts were too unorganized to regroup against the stress. For a wolf who had been trained to use her mind and knowledge--to channel emotions behind a closed door--the sensation of losing control only served to scare her more. "Kemo, are you alright? Has anything bad happened...?" She was just so happy that Kemo was there...

Moon walks. "Moon talks." Moon thinks.

Kemo Nishant · 01-08-2011, 04:22 AM

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OOC: :3 SSWM: 600 words

Kemo slept on, still oblivious to the fact that Ralla was trying to find him. His dreams were just not with him tonight, though it was only barely noticed in his half conscious mind. The slight yelping sound, however, woke him up just a bit, but he chalked that up to imaginary things. Just as he snuggled up again to go back to sleep, just as he closed his eyes, something invaded his den and his sleep. The furry missile landed on top of him, not with enough force to hurt him, but enough to shock him back into full consciousness again.

A low rumble sounded in his chest and he raised his head to look coincidentally directly at her, snow falling comically off of his head and muzzle. The rumble stopped as he heard her and picked up her scent, his tail thumping wildly as he was proven right...she had returned to him once again. This had to be it then, there was no way she would have returned to him again unless she had some sort of feelings for him. He knew it now..he had never been able to convince himself to truly believe it, thinking if he gave in then it would only lead to heartbreak.

How stupid he had been. He was madly in love with her, this he could no longer deny. Every time he saw her, well in his own way at least, she managed to warm his cold heart and lift his spirits. It was amazing how little the world meant to him when she was here at his side. "Ralla! Nice of you to drop by." He laughed, shaking snow from his fur. He was, for the moment, in lupus form as it was so much warmer and a lot more comfortable to sleep that way, especially in his little snow den, but he could tell she was in Optime form. He nuzzled her face, licking her muzzle once before sighing happily.

The sigh was short lived, however, as a choked sob escaped from her throat. Worry etched along his features, but before he could say anything about it, she had asked her question. His mind now roared to life with a bombardment of thoughts. Yes..things had happened since he last saw her but he still wasn't sure if he should tell her. He had started to tell her. The words had started to form as his muzzle opened but he just couldn't bring himself to tell her about his dark secrets. He didn't want to spoil the mood, but the main reason was he was also afraid, afraid of what she would think of him, afraid that she would change her feelings about him.

She had told him there was nothing she wouldn't forgive him for, that was true, but he just couldn't believe she had meant something as dark and twisted as the things he had done. Those would be his secrets, for now, and maybe in the future he would tell her. For now though, he chose to lie to her, to protect her from the truth. He couldn't hold her gaze, forgetting about the fact that he was blind, looking down at the darkness in his sight, though to her he would be staring at his paws. "No Ralla, nothing bad has happened." He looked back up again "and I'm perfectly all right, now that you're here. Is everything ok with you? Why did you decide to return?" That last question had been burning in his mind for what seemed like years now and he longed to know the answer.

Kemo ”talks”, walks, and thinks.

Ralla · 01-10-2011, 09:06 PM

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Dramatic enough? <3

She had been momentarily put-off by the fact that she might've been crushing Kemo, but she righted herself soon enough. His laugh almost made her laugh, too, but she was afraid it would've come out more pathetic than she was already sounding. Oh, how must she look now? Disheveled, crying, struggling to maintain a steady breath... If only the world were blind, deaf, and mute; she could live in silence. But then...she would be right back to the place she had started and never wanted to be near again; alone.

Ralla saw as Kemo opened his mouth to tell her something, but he promptly closed it. It made her suspicious and worry more. Did something happen!? Was he alright!? And amongst that, guilt. Blame for herself that she had not gone to him earlier, if something had been wrong. What kind of a friend was she? For a moment, as she looked at him--eyes wide, scanning a face that looked off into the distance even though it could see nothing--she felt a feeling with words growing in the hollow of her throat. "You're lying," she whispered. If only she knew how alike her words were then to that of her brother's; their relation would've been assured in their word choice and timing alone. But she was convinced of it. Kemo's voice and body language was just not matching his words, and now was not the time to be hiding anymore. She couldn't. They couldn't. If whatever was supposed to happen that night happened, any untruth would likely be taken hold of and turned ten-fold into treachery, even if unintentionally done so.

"You think I wouldn't return again, Kemo...?" She knew he was still upset about the fight with Noss--moon, she was still upset, too... But he had thought she wouldn't come back...? It hurt; deeper than it should've. Gritting her teeth, she sat up to allow him room, her terror turning into uncharacteristic grit, the hurt lining the edges. "Kemo, I know when you're lying. I know you can't see, but when you talk to me, you look at me. Why aren't you looking at me now?" She knew it sounded silly, but she noticed the times when he looked at her--enjoyed them--even though she knew he couldn't see a single contour or color of her. just knowing that he acknowledged her...was enough.

Moon walks. "Moon talks." Moon thinks.

Kemo Nishant · 01-11-2011, 06:37 PM

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OOC:

Kemo wasn't sure why he was able to find her face so easily, to make it appear as though he wasn't really blind with how well he knew where to look to find her eyes. He again marveled and gave thanks for the fact that his mind was his own sanctuary, a fortress that no one alive or dead as far as he knew could penetrate to find his deepest darkest secrets within. He hoped Ralla would change the subject, as they had done so many times before when they sensed the other didn't want to elaborate further on a subject, or wanted to keep something to themselves. He had always taken that for granted, never expecting that one day it could change, one day they would both seek to know everything about each other. Sometimes he wondered if it was actually Ralla that was the blind one, because she still as of yet could not see the evil in his eyes.

It was for that reason that he snapped his head to face hers, shock registering on his face. How did she know he was lying? Did she know him more than he thought she did? Was she aware of every little movement his body language performed, able to read him like a book because of the long nights by the fire they had spent, the journey to Cour des Miracles, and the only other times he spent with the wolfess? He shook his head, though he was unable to voice his denial of her accusation, appearing to look back down at his paws again. His mind sent up a flag and he remembered what he had said to Alaine when she had told him he wasn't really blind. The one thing different between this situation and that one was that Ralla was the blind one now, but he didn't want her to see the true Kemo...he couldn't possibly tell her the things that were running through his mind now, could he?

Well of course he could, but it was what Ralla would think of him that sealed his muzzle. Surely she wouldn't want to be with a puppy burning, wolfess raping, pot smoking, violent tempered wolf like him? But then she had said it. The one thing that had been dominating his mind all this time that she had been away, and on top of that, he could hear the hurt in her words. Before he could try and come up with a way around that question, she spelled it out for him, point blank, and he knew now that he could never lie to her again. She had him, read his actions, remembered his habits, oh she was good, but how was he going to convince himself that she wasn't going to leave him for the things she wanted him to tell her, when she had left him alone so many times before? The fight with Noss, the argument they had on the very first day, the return from Cour des Miracles...

And yet...He scooted closer to her, laying his head on her forepaws and looking up with his blind eyes into her face. "Ok Ralla...yes...I was lying, but it's something I wish to keep to myself..to protect you..from me." He had a feeling that his entire life was about to change within the next few moments.

Kemo ”talks”, walks, and thinks.

Ralla · 01-12-2011, 08:14 PM

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You wanna help gag me with my own posts? >.> They're so dern sappy XS

She saw his face go blank; could almost hear the beating of his heart like he had once told her he could do for anyone. It made her embarassed, knowing that he could hear the subtle changes within her and judge her on it. it made her feel like there were no walls between them. But she was apparently wrong. Still he could not understand what she was really worried about and what she was really feeling. Even she did not know, and she unwittingly felt that frustration begin to leak into her heart and change it accordingly. Feeling so exposed--paying attention to that fact for the first time--made her almost forget what night it was just so she could focus on their communication barrier. Almost. Instead, the dread of the night intermixed and confused her words all the more, the closer the moon's light struggled through the haze of dark clouds and began to filter a pale orange light. But Ralla's eyes were so focused on Kemo that all she could see was white, black, white.

His lying his head on her hands made them twitch--not from anger or disgust or anything of the dark sort, but more along the lines of she just wanted to comfort him... At the same time, she just wanted to know what was going on...what would happen... Not knowing was terrifying. For the second time she had known Kemo, she wanted to rail at him; to make him understand. The first time had been when he and Noss had gotten into their fight. She knew he had only been trying to protect her, but the violence just wasn't in her nature. That's what she had thought. But the facts were that she was mortal like any wolf and could get angry and defend herself and fight. She had helped to fell a beast with her pack, hadn't she? Had done so with Kemo? Had done so solo countless times to feed herself? Saying she could not get violent was delusional; a lie to make herself feel better. But realizing the truth behind that loop of mirages did not shatter her world; it only made her realize that lying to oneself only disappoints oneself.

And now Kemo was doing that to himself, continuing to insist that he was a danger to her.

"We talked about this, Kemo," she said through her throat, the words coming out choked as before; sad as before. "I know we have secrets, and that I have no right to push," she said, bring up one hand to timidly stroke his fur behind his ear. Her hand had hung above his head, for a moment--unsure if it was alright to touch him at all--before she let it do as it pleased, comforting herself at the same time she meant to do to him. "But please...please; don't lie to me." She didn't think she could take it anymore. Lies...lies had gotten her nowhere. She rememberd promises of honor and eternal love of her pack; all hollow and deceiving. What kind of life had lies promised her? Emptiness with silent deities in the sky. But she didn't want just stars or the moon; she wanted, for once, to be selfish. She had done so when she left the Crescent Moon Pack, and now she was doing it again. A new fear arose. Would the moon punish her for being greedy? For wanting to stay near this white wolf who did things to her heart that not even she understood?

"I'm scared, Kemo... But not of you. Tonight is the night of that terrible vision, and all I could think about when the signs became clear was you; if you were okay, where you were..." The tears began to flow freely as her voice trembled--sounding like a whiney pup instead of a seasoned almost-two-year-old who tried to be strong--and a few drops of the salt water fell on Kemo's nose. She didn't like to cry if it wasn't in happiness or awe, and she had already done so--shamefully--in front of Kemo, her brother, and a virtual stranger. It only served to make her more afraid and vulnerable and to mix her up more on the inside. As irrational as she seemed, Ralla felt as if there was every reason to be as afraid as she was. For everything she didn't know, she relied on the moon and stars to tell her what they could. So when they did, their sendings were law. And so it seemed to her as if the law had passed that something bad would happen, even though it would not explain what. For every cursed piece of knowledge I'm given I'm led on by another unknowable terror...

Moon walks. "Moon talks." Moon thinks.

Kemo Nishant · 01-13-2011, 09:20 PM

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OOC: Hey they're not sappy, they're awesome Also shoot me to cure me of my procrastination >.> Also, hugely epic post :3

Kemo couldn't pick up on the battle that was going on in the female's head. This was another one of those times that he wished he could see so he could see the look on her face, try to read her emotions through her eyes, but even his amazing ability to read emotions through the heart wasn't helping him now. He longed to know what she was thinking, longed to fight and deny and protect her wherever he could, but not even the strongest wolf, the warrior who never loses, or the quietest and sneakiest thief could ever penetrate the mind and ever truly know what was going on inside. It was an impenetrable fortress, one that only the blind it seemed could penetrate further than those who could see, and only because he could judge based on the heart, but even that wasn't foolproof.

He felt her hands twitch slightly against his head, but he didn't think anything of it. She prolly didn't expect him to do it, to place himself in such close proximity to her. He wondered honestly if she knew how much he cared about her. Maybe that's what was going on in her mind...maybe she had seen something that had to do with that. Her visions! That had to be it. Maybe she was seeing something or had seen something that had to do with them or him again, like her dream before they set off to go to Cour des Miracles.

He was wrong, or at least it appeared to be so for him. It was instant guilt that filled his heart and mind now when she made her request, scratching the fur behind his ears. This was new, he didn't ever remember Ralla showing affection by touch before, but he was too focused on what she had said to pursue this further. At first he was speechless, unable to find the right words to say. It was only a few seconds that ticked by before he realized what he had to do, what the right thing to do was. It wasn't fair to her to keep her in the light like this, to protect her from his darker side just because he was afraid of what she would think. He owed it to her to let her know everything about him before she decided to return to him again, knowing he was risking her leaving him forever by doing this, but it was the right thing to do.

"Ok. From this point forward I will never lie to you again. If you stand up in a dress and ask me if your butt looks too big, then by Moon I will tell you the truth, but it doesn't matter because I love it anyways, though I've never seen it, but that's beside the point." He chuckled, staring into her face to let her know he meant what he said.

The chuckle was short lived however when she heard her next words. Never in his life could he have imagined what kind of power those words would have on him. She was scared? And then he felt the tears land on his muzzle. Something changed in Kemo at that moment and he no longer felt as if he needed to hide how much he cared about her anymore. He shifted to Optime form and within seconds he grabbed Ralla gently and pulled her into his arms, pulling her close to his chest in a loving embrace. If she wanted to cry or confess or anything she wanted, he would have welcomed it. But there were things he needed to confess to this wonderful white wolfess that brought him nothing but joy.

"Ralla...there are things in this world that you have every right to be scared of, and I know that telling you not to be scared of them would be foolish and a waste of my breath, however, I will tell you this. Even in the cold embrace of death, I will never leave you. I will never let you feel alone and helpless when you're scared, and I will put myself in the path of anything that wishes you harm. Whatever this vision is for, however, we will face it together." He paused to let her absorb what he said.

"Ralla..I have things I wish to confess to you...but I'm afraid of what will happen if I do. I'm afraid that you will leave me if you hear what I have to say...along with the things that I've done...but I want you to know everything about me. So I'm going to take that risk, but I'm going to wait until you're able to listen before I do." He held her close to him, letting her cry and let it all out in his chest fur, rubbing her back gently.

Kemo ”talks”, walks, and thinks.

Ralla · 01-18-2011, 08:59 PM

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Uber-late and poor in quality -.- I had a nice long post typed up, but I hit the 'back' button and it was gone >< I wanted to kill myself X<

"Stupid," she said with a pseudo-laugh coming through the tears, "you can't see me in a dress..." But the moment those arms encircled her her eyes snapped open, mostly in surprise--again--from the sudden contact. It was warm and pleasant, even though it made those shameful tears fall harder. She buried her muzzle into his chest and let them flow, gritting her teeth to prevent any embarassing sobs. Together? He wanted to get through it together? Whether by wishful thinking or correct reading of the words, Ralla assumed he meant more than just that night of the vision. His arms were tight around her, restricting her own arms from movement, but she didn't care and didn't open her eyes again as she felt the dam of emotions run loose. Since coming to Nova Scotia, she had had not one true, close, irreplacable confidant to confide her troubles in. Chief Dawali had been there to only a see a small part of it, but she had not thought it right to burden her chief with her personal troubles. And so she had let them build and build and build until they began to leak out. But even then those occasional leaks had done nothing to assuage its mass, apparantly. Only now was everything coming to its greatest head.

Worse things? What could Kemo've done that is worse than what I've seen? Ralla just couldn't imagine Kemo doing anything worse than his few angry spats and that one quarrel with her brother. But the way he sounded made her fear what he going to say. Not him, as she had said, but the deeds. But he could atone. She knew he could. Anyone could always atone. Always. The gentle rubbing on her back made her bury her head further into his chest, making her completely oblivious as the moon began to shine through the cloudy sky to tint the snow first a shade of pink and then steadily darker as the minutes ticked by. She was so comforted by his mere presence and that he was alright that she felt a large weight lift from her heart. But why had it been there? Sure, she worried for friends all the time, but this weight had felt...different... Everything about Kemo was different. The way they acted around each other, the way he spoke to her, what he said... It made her heart skips beats and it made her blush at the most random moments. Had she been anyone else she was telling a fortune to, she would've said they were in l--... ...That's it... She finally understood. She finally understood why she was feeling the way she was. But her...? She questioned herself whether it was truth or if she was getting ahead of herself--they had, after all, only known each other for a little over four months--but the feeling did not dissipate or lessen with the thoughts of anything bad that he had done or could do or with any terrible possibilities. She was scared of the feeling, but was so drawn to it that she felt as if she had to tell him; had to know if it was only her. She was most certainly jumping the gun, but... She just had to.

As the tears began to run out, she talked with a strained voice, the salty water having messed with her vocal chords a little. "I have...something to tell you, too." She would tell him when all was said and done. She would prove to him that she held true to her words and that she would forgive him. Because the gravity of what she was going to say would likely change their lives considerably. If he rejected her...it will have been by the moon's design. "But...tell me what you have to, first."

Moon walks. "Moon talks." Moon thinks.

Kemo Nishant · 01-22-2011, 07:15 PM

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OOC: I was sad when I saw that D: Oh well, it happens *pats* Also the scar that Kemo's pointing to, the one Sanuye's going to give him, hasn't really been discussed yet. It's there, just don't know where it is yet, or if it's really going to be there :3 Mucho Dialogue

Kemo smiled and laughed at her comment, hugging her closer to him when he felt her let the tears flow. "Well you got me there, but you know what I mean." He chuckled, letting her mind wander and her emotions flood through. Kemo could hear the gears grinding in her head, could feel the delicate changes in speed of her heartbeat. He decided to allow her to let it all out, comforting where he could and overall just being there for her.

As she cried into his chest he began to think of ways he could tell her everything he wished to tell her. He couldn't lie anymore, he knew he would get caught up in that, but this wasn't just a simple confession to something he did, no...this was far more complicated than that. Where could he begin? What should he tell her first? Should he tell her the good news or the bad news first? What if he told her the good news first and all the bad news clouded it out, or what if he told her the bad news and the same thing happened? I suppose I don't have to tell her everything... But that made him into a liar and it would jeopardize, if any, the trust that might remain with Ralla after everything was said and done.

But then she surprised him, telling him she had something to confess as well. That jumpstarted his thoughts and heart. Hell if Ralla had his heart reading abilities, she might have been able to figure out what was going on in his mind without needing an explanation. Her statement had convinced him, somewhat at least, and it gave him something to cling on to when the dams would burst and she would know everything.

He sighed, knowing it was time, and took a deep breath, exhaling in a nervous sigh and clearing his throat, ears laying slack against his head. "Ralla...I'm very much looking forward to what you have to say, but there is a huge burden on and in my chest, and that burden must be released. I have made my decision." He sat in silence for a moment. "I don't really know where to begin, but I suppose it could start just after our journey to Cour des Miracles. You see, after you left, I was heartbroken, but on top of that, I was angry, like beyond anything you have ever seen. I came across a wolfess and she further escalated my anger, so I left the Cour Des Miracles territories and headed to one of the most secluded areas I could find to be alone, which you can prolly imagined I needed desperately. This is where things start to lose their sense."

He paused, knowing this would be the point of no return. Once he let her know what happened and what kind of a wolf he really was, surely this would be the straw that broke the camel's back on any chance of her wanting to return to him again, but it was the right thing to do. He would do it for her, just as he would do just about anything for her. "In this secluded area, I found a wolfess, or rather, she found me, and she was flying off the handle for some reason. I think it was because I disturbed her home or something...anyways, she got mouthy and I...attacked her." The words left his muzzle with surprising ease, so he continued. "She attacked me with words and claws and teeth, so I returned the favor..slicing her up with claws and teeth, and then...I... He made an effort to look into her eyes. "I raped her."

It was amazing how powerful one simple word or sentence could become when used in a certain way. As soon as the statement left his muzzle, he felt a dark stirring within him, as if he was finding all this quite humorous. Dark humor was the only way he could have described it, but it didn't change the fact that without Ralla in his life, he didn't have a destiny to fulfill. He cleared his throat again and continued. "I raped her and left her for dead, but she's alive and ok, so far as I know...I met her recently and she seems to be doing..ok..for the moment."

That was one down, several more to go. He found as he had managed to confess about the first one, the others didn't seem so bad. "In total, I've raped 3 wolfesses. Two were loners and I've never met before and one I've also never met before, but she..she had a certain scent...Aniwaya.." That one he had trouble with. Ralla was in Aniwaya...how would she take that piece of information, let alone the fact that this rape took place only a day ago? He decided to continue, as if trying to block out that piece of information from processing very much.

"The wolfesses all received pretty nasty wounds, from what I could tell, though they dished back plenty in return. The last one in particular gave me this scar." He pointed out the scar absentmindedly, choosing his next words carefully as he did so. "That's not the worst of it, though...Ralla...I've burned puppies alive. I literally took them in my hand and threw them into the fire, not knowing or caring who they belonged to or what the reason was. I just...did it." That brought a bit of a shock to his mind, but he ignored it for the moment. "I've attacked others, I've raped females without a care, I've burned puppies alive...Ralla...I'm an evil wolf. I'm very much the incarnate of evil and the weird thing is, despite everything, I...love it."

His blind eyes flashed suddenly, though he didn't notice. "I love being evil...I love causing others pain, I love feeling in control, I love being an asshole to others, I love being evil...but..." He looked back into her eyes again, as best as he could. "When I'm with you, it's different. When you are near, I feel more in control of myself. I know that I would never be able to intentionally hurt you or cause pain to you in any way. I know I will always be able to protect you, to care for you, and to be the Kemo you know and love. As I said, I love being evil...but Ralla...sweetheart...wolfess of the Moon Tribe and Aniwaya, I love you so much...and I don't want to ruin any chance of you loving me in return." He stopped, letting that last part sink in. This was it...there was no turning back now, no lying, no avoiding questions. Everything was laid out on the table, so to speak, and now all he could do was hope.

Moon above, please tell me I've done the right thing.

Kemo ”talks”, walks, and thinks.

Ralla · 01-30-2011, 09:55 PM

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Here comes a long one >.> PRAY I DON'T HIT THE BACK BUTTON! >.<

Kemo's light tone began to fall in octaves, and Ralla felt as if her spirit was being dragged down with it as the foreboding grew. And as she listened, her eyes grew larger and larger as her heart pounded. Rape...? Kemo had...? And then he said AniWaya. Oh no, no, no, no, no... He had raped one of her family... How was she supposed to react to that? She had said she would always forgive him, but could she cleanse and protect him? I...I don't think I can. And that was just harsh reality; Ralla didn't have the power to protect Kemo from anything--including his own deeds--as much as he claimed he could protect her. And now she was torn, because she hadn't noticed that anyone within her tribe had been raped--which saddened her greatly with the fact she had not noticed beforehand--and now she had the obligation to report it. But could she? After she finally had her revelation to how she felt about Kemo...? What am I suppossed to do...? AniWaya... Kemo... A war began within her head, all the while she screamed at herself; Which is the real Kemo? With her eyes wide open, even in shock, she could see the snow and entire area around them engulfed in the crimson stain of the moon.

The prophecy had come true.

And then the puppies. He had burned puppies alive. What had become of Kemo when she wasn't looking? Or had he always been like this? She refused to believe that, even as he went on about him enjoying it. If she had had control of her body, Ralla would've grasped a hand to her throat to choke back the rising bile, but as it was, it settled in her mouth, coating her tongue with a bitter taste. At first, anger took its stand in her heart, even as she still knelt listening and still as ancient stone. She continued to rail at herself that this wasn't the real Kemo even as she fought to keep herself from slapping the white wolf or demanding him to tell her why he had done it; nevermind the junk excuse of enjoying it he was giving. But then the anger cooled to rational pity. She had forseen this, had she not? She had predicted the dual nature of Sagitarrius, and had she been less casual, less of a fool, about the whole affair, she maybe could've watched Kemo closer to try and prevent what had happened. But then that was counteracted; she couldn't have been there for everything. Back and forth her emotions see-sawed, almost taking her still body with them. She felt like she was spiraling down into a very dark place; somewhere she welcomed just to make the noise of war in her head stop.

Silence.

Even as the world around her went on, endless silence seemed to stretch in an empty place deep within the white wolfess. More than ever, she felt the crescent moon brand on her forehead burn, because it was reminding her of her original sin against her native pack; her betrayel. And then all her selfish desires followed, the only noise being that silent void, even though the emotions were exponentially loud as they built. And then they went away, being replaced by her repetitive mental ranting; What am I supposed to do? Within her dark space, Ralla looked up to a black sky that had no moon, no stars, and no voice. It wasn't as if the moon would tell her what she had to do specifically anyway; it didn't work like that. But she had always depended and believed in the moon; had always believed that it would shepherd and protect all who were in its tribe. Was this its retribution for her and Kemo's running away? Or...? Did it bring them together to weather--to support--one another; to supplement each other's flaws? Was it by the moon's design that she felt the way she did...?

All of a sudden she was back in the real world, Kemo kneeling in front of her, the color red permeating the scene around them, her breath coming in shallow draws of air, and the words 'I love you' echoing in her ears, because Kemo had said them. With a blinding speed, she raised her arms--not to hit him or slap him or shove him away--but to clutch his head to her chest as she sobbed and cried with all the fervor of a terrified pup, because that's how she felt. She felt helpless against the world that seemed to come crashing down around her so often, and she didn't know what to do. Her tears slid over her cheeks and down onto Kemo's head and ears as she kept his head in a death-grip to her breast, babbling through the salt water. "It's alright...! It's alright...! I'll...I'll help you... We can figure something out... I won't give up on you; all sins can be forgiven...!" On and on the words went as she tried to protect Kemo...from himself. But she couldn't do that, could she? All she could do was stand by him and try. Ralla never admitted it to herself, nor did she view it as a fault, but she was infinitly kind. No matter what happened to her, she always seemed to forgive the transgressor. No matter what happened to others, she believed that the commitors of the crime were the true victims; because really, they were lost inside, and were just as helpless as to what else to do as she was.
Of course she would be mad, but where would extended rage get anyone? More blood. More sorrow. More emptiness. Oh how she wished that life could always be as bright as the Great Fire; always be as bright as the full crescent moon on a clear night. But it could never be so. Never.

She rocked gently back and forth as if Kemo were the one who was really crying, because it was the only thing keeping her from just sitting there like an idiot and letting herself run. She was so tired of running, because that really got her nowhere either. Trouble was always around, and...light followed trouble, because things are always worse before they get better. "It's alright... I forgive you... You can fix it all..." Can he? Can he really? Things are always easier said than done, and based on Kemo's list, his crimes were very high priced; not so easy to repay. But if he worked hard... If he really tried to make amends... She believed he could. Anyone--everyone--could... It would be so wrong and cruel if they couldn't, because everyone made mistakes, forget the magnitude. The mere thought that sins stay with a person forever, without even a hope of retribution... It made Ralla tremble to her core, because she never wanted to be in the dark.

Nuzzling her muzzle into Kemo's neck, she pet his head, almost trying to sweep the sins away, as if she could. It wasn't like any other time, where a person's sins would bother her but she only saw the good in them, because of the way she felt about Kemo. She was most assuredly rushing the emotions, but as it was, with all the emotional turmoil and stress, she was so confused, because it was also her first time feeling like she did. She had never cried so hard, except for the day she was told she would be locked away forever in the Shaman's Cave. And now there she was, repeating her sorry state of being, mourning for the pups and the wolfesses--most especially the wolfess in her tribe--but more so for Kemo; because he had done it, Ralla believed that he was the one more lost than anyone else. But maybe not... Unlike murder, rape stayed with a person for as long as they lived; scarring them. She would pray for these unknown wolfesses' recovery of spirit, most assuredly. But Kemo had to, too. She would help him... She would attempt to find out who in her tribe had been wronged, and beg for Kemo's forgiveness... Because, what else could he do? Certain things couldn't be made up so simply. But they would try, by all powers of the moon and Great Spirits; Ralla begged for his forgivness, because she had already given hers by promise, and the Spirits could not forgive until the transgressor first admitted his wrong from the bottom of his heart. More than ever, Ralla wanted to keep him close; to protect him, even if she was powerless. Again and again she asked:

Great moon and Spirits of the world and beyond; please help me...

Moon walks. "Moon talks." Moon thinks.

Kemo Nishant · 02-12-2011, 08:53 PM

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OOC: Thank the Moon you didn't I just got firefox and the lazarus addon for it the other day. If something happens all I have to do is go back to my posting page, right click on it, recover text 8D

Kemo's entire future was now in the hands of this wolfess, the one which he had come to develop such a strong affection for. He listened carefully to her heart, which sounded like war drums during a heavily intense battle within her chest, indicating that something heavy was on her mind. Who could blame her? Kemo had just taken her entire view of him and turned it upside down and he honestly wouldn't be surprised if she had decided to leave him right then and there, to separate herself from his arms and just take off without looking back. This would tear him apart, both mentally and emotionally, but he would allow her to do so. He could never harm this little wolfess he cared so deeply for, could never allow harm to come to her if he had anything to say about it.

It was only when he felt the soft hands on either side of his head and the warm softness of her chest fur against his face that he was momentarily shocked out of his beliefs. What in Moon's name was this? Was she trying to strangle or suffocate him? He mentally laughed, then he began to question himself. Why would he ever think that? Why would she ever try to suffocate him? He began to question now his mental stability when sudden wetness began to drip on his head and ears, his head still clamped like she would never let go against her. Was it raining now? Then her words pierced the naivete of his thoughts and all at once he shut up and his body went slightly limp with shock.

"You're...you're not going to push me away? You're not going to run? You..you want to help me?" Suddenly the world seemed like such a welcome place to the white wolf. The Moon must intend these two to be together, two wolves from the same tribe, though from very different backgrounds, reunited once again in a lover's embrace. Anyone looking on this scene would have to be made of stone to not be moved by it, but of course, to the blind Kemo, all other senses were multiplied to a point where he couldn't possibly imagine what it looked like. Regardless, it felt amazing as she began to rock with him, as if he was the one crying and she was trying to comfort him.

Doubt wasn't an issue anymore, but as if to further release any that might have been, Ralla continued by telling him that she forgave him. How could she simply forgive him for all of his sins? Was there something here that he missed? Did this wolfess love him as much as he did? Wetness that was so uncharacteristically like Kemo suddenly appeared in his blind eyes and he was brought back to the day where he was forced to leave his home and his sight behind. The monster appeared again, but this time it wasn't his mother, but his own face he was looking into. He himself had caused the blindness and the pain, at least that's what it felt like to him. He knew the truth, the simple fact of it being, the moon was cruel.

As she began to pet his head and nuzzle him, he squirmed up to hug her against him in a lover's embrace of his own, nuzzling her as she nuzzled his neck. What could possibly be greater than this feeling right here, the feeling of being loved by another? "Ralla, I'm so sorry...I don't know what's wrong with me, but I want to change, I want to be the wolf you want me to be. I want to be the perfect mate for you and I don't want to cause you any more pain or sadness or guilt. We will break this together and we will come through stronger than we have ever been before. I love you Ralla, I really do, more than you could ever possibly know, and I don't ever want to lose you, but you're going to have to help me. This is not going to be easy to get rid of, as there is a large pressing darkness within me that I can only keep at bay for so long." He hugged her close to him, licking the tears from her eyes and just nuzzling her.

He was true to his words. He would try his hardest to change, he would do anything for her. As much as he loved being an asshole and torturing, raping, and all the other sins he has committed...he loved her more than all of that combined. It was sad that he would never know that at that moment, the Blood Moon, the very moon that his own pack worshipped and loved dearly, was shining high in the sky at that moment, bringing Ralla's vision to perfect clarity. It seemed not even the power of the Blood Moon could penetrate the darkness, but Kemo hadn't a care for any of that at this point. All his care was placed into the smaller wolfess now crying against him.

"There's just one thing I have to ask before we set out to find a way to cleanse me of my mistakes. Curiosity now bloomed within his chest and he was anxious to hear what she had to say. Were his suspicions correct, or was he recieving all the wrong signals at this moment in time that seemed to last an eternity? Only the Moon and Ralla knew the answer to that, so he waited patiently for the answer to be revealed to him. He smiled and nuzzled her once more before "looking" into her eyes. "What did you want to tell me?"

Kemo ”talks”, walks, and thinks.

Ralla · 02-21-2011, 03:07 PM

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I need a pager~ I need a pager~ Sorry this one's so short; I exhausted all the drama with my last posts in this thread >.>

Kemo spoke with disbelief, as if everything she said was a dream. And it felt like it, too. Nothing else seemed real or possible, because everything was crashing down. How would they survive that calamity? Would they have to rebuild from scratch? It seemed that way. Kemo's arms wrapped around her once more, and she continued her mental chants and soothings, attempting to bring their solace to the outside world.

"What I have to...?" It occured to her that he was referring to what she needed to tell him pre-mental-breakdown-with-tears, causing her to blush more, although it was hidden under the flush from her crying. In all honesty, Ralla was wavering in her feelings; but not because of what Kemo had just told her. In truth, even beforehand, she was unsure of herself; it was her first time feeling the way she did. But what other explanation was there than the three words that would solidify her decision? "Kemo, I..." She choked once on them and had to swallow; it brought a whole new meaning to the words 'getting all choked up'. But she steeled herself and continued. They seemed like such easy words to say--in passing, in sarcasm, in humor--but to Ralla, they didn't seem that way at all. They were much, much, much more. And the sooner she said it, the sooner the weight would be lifted from her chest, and the sooner she would give Kemo the answer he wanted. The answer they needed, even though she wanted to say so much more--which would have to wait. Looking into his eyes, seeing all his dark passions melt into the depths of black to be replaced by the heart she knew was the true Kemo, she spoke her piece:

"I love you."

Moon walks. "Moon talks." Moon thinks.

Kemo Nishant · 02-24-2011, 03:24 PM

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OOC: So wish I could go back and prevent you from hitting the back button Is ok, but awww, puppy wuv so cuuute <3

Never before had Kemo felt the way he did for the small white female ensnared in his arms. Never before had he been so sure about something like this. Even if Ralla didn't feel the same as him he didn't mind, at least she knew the true depth of his feelings for her, what he was willing to sacrifice to be there for her. Friends or something more, mates or something less, nothing could separate this white wolf from this smaller wolfess, even his own dark desires.

Kemo was brought from his thoughts as Ralla started to say something, but she cut herself off in mid sentence, Kemo only able to guess that she had suddenly realized what he was talking about. He smiled as he allowed her all the time she needed to tell him what she wanted to tell him, especially after recovering from the bombshell he had dropped on her just now. It only strengthened the bond they shared as he realized Ralla hadn't run and was still here in his arms even after all of his confessions, knowing for a fact that most other females would have been running for the hills long before now, or at least only staying with him out of fear, but Ralla didn't seem to be afraid of him. "Kemo, I..." Once again she had started a sentence and was cut off, presumably by her thoughts, and once again Kemo smiled, allowing her all the time she needed. He certainly wasn't going anywhere, had no desire to leave the gentle and warm embrace of this female that was a pleasure to all of his senses, even his missing sight.

What did this mean though? Why did she want to stay with him? Why did she keep returning to him? Why wasn't she running as far away and as fast as she could at the moment, especially after he confessed that he liked to do the things he did? Was she staying with him out of pity, feeling sorry for a lost soul who just needed someone to guide him on the right path? Did she feel an obligation to help since she was a member of the Moon Tribe, as he was, family of a tribe though from different packs? What was her intentions? He knew they shared a friendship, but what was worth her staying here with him, a rapist, a pup murderer, a lost soul...

"I love you." Instantly Kemo's suspicions, thoughts, even his heart stopped as those words broke through the fog of his mind, spoken in Ralla's slightly nervous though truth filled voice. Kemo's heart had stopped for what seemed like an eternity after those words were spoken, so much so that he could have been declared legally dead, but suddenly it had started back up again, speeding up and slowing down at the same time. Tears filled the normally unbreakable wolf's exterior, sliding down his muzzle and dripping down onto the wolfess's head. Tears of happiness they were. "I have never heard anyone say something more beautiful than those three words that just came from your muzzle Ralla...you have made me the happiest wolf in the world and I'd like to see the wolf that can prove me wrong, because I will present you to him like a gift from the Moon itself."

Kemo hugged her tighter against him for a moment, reveling in the feel of the love he felt radiating from the wolfess, the warmth of her fur against his, the gentle physical contact of her body against his. Nothing would ever separate the two as far as Kemo was concerned, nothing could keep them from being with one another. "Something's different about tonight, isn't it? Something monumental is happening...I can feel it...and something else is going to happen too." The Blood Moon's rays set his white fur aflame, turning both of the lovers from a snow white to a deep crimson, red on snow, the vision that had caused so much anxiety in Kemo before now coming true, though Kemo had no idea.

Kemo ”talks”, walks, and thinks.

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