Ashes to ashes
#1
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Thread number one in the creation of a new pack.




I'll be waiting here to meet you


She had spent the rest of the day watching the fire eating her homeland. She had seen all sorts of creatures flee. The majority of them made it, but she had witnessed several being consumed by the nature. She had never seen anything similar ever in her whole soon five years old life. It was enormous to witness, and she had simply been watching it after she got herself into safety. She had even grabbed the opportunity to grab a fleeing roe. Usually she never went after larger prey, but the critter had hurt itself on the way up the mountain. The flames had gotten a taste of its back, and the leg was broken. Colibri’s grey eyes had calmly watched it, and her body had moved swiftly on autopilot when she saw it fall. She had gone right on the throat of the exhausted animal. It had never managed getting up on its legs again.

Her stomach was filled to the top. Now she was thinking of what to do next. Storm would not exist anymore as there was no Storm left after the flames. New starts yet again. Everything was shattered, but this time more beings than Colibri were included. The bleeding souls lands had been destroyed, and Colibri was simply sitting there with her less than one/fifth remaining roe. The milky white lady lifted her face up towards the aging day and howled. She called out for her sister, if she still was alive. For anyone that had fled and lived, and that was lost. Her call was not the only one that had been heard today, but this had to stop. She wondered if she still was in shock since she was so calm.

Time would show. For now, she would simply wait and see if there were other bleeding souls out there that would respond to her call.


Dying to meet you


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#2
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[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there.









holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic]


This was unthinkable. Impossible. Although neither were true. It was possible as it had happened and now that Cercelee thought about it, it made a lot of sense. Anything you worked for burned to the ground in the end, right? Cercelee shut her eyes against the irony, not even home for a whole week because it was destroyed before her eyes. Yet it was more of an inconvenience than anything else. Yes, she had wanted to call Clouded Tears home, and yes, she had wanted to mend her friendship with her cousin, but now Clouded Tears was no more than ashes and Laruku might not have even made it out alive. She didn't know, but as he was the only soul she knew from the lands, he was the only one she wondered about. Other than him, she had nothing and no one to lose, so it wasn't a big deal. Not really. Besides, the little island in the middle of the lake might still be green, she didn't know if the fire could spread across the lake, so maybe there was some life left in Clouded Tears, even if it was just lonely trees, the thought comforted her.






Cercelee wasn't quite sure where she was going, just in the general direction that every other pathetic creature seemed to be moving. Yet she had been kind of slow, fallen behind a bit and when she got past the peak of the mountains, sure the fires could not catch up to her here, her fur smelt burnt, although she hadn't been touched by the searing flames herself, and grey ashes clung to her white pelt, floating after her from the burning trees. Well, why not? It was just as well that the destruction clung to her, and she didn't mind. The smell would fade, the ashes would fall from her fur, and the whole ordeal would become just like a dream. That's what it felt like, a dream, as she wandered blindly now, waiting to stumble across someone, anyone. Which is why when the howl sounded she didn't bother to call back, she flew to the maker of the call, with the last of her strength and speed. When she did break into the clearing and find the other wolf, she found she was relieved suddenly to not be alone any longer. Panting just slightly, she spoke, her voice cool and crisp.Hello.







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#3
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I'll be waiting here to meet you


She did not know what she actually had expected, but she bet it was not an image of a younger Ceres approaching. Yet, there was nothing to justify this hallucination that was popping up in front of her. She was not exhausted or anything, and by her current inner calmness she had yet to take in the enormous tragedy that had happened. She did not know anyone any longer, she was all alone, and she guessed that was why her heart had yet to scream out because of the loss of everyone left behind. She knew Susquehanna had been down there, but she was also positive that she still lived. It was simply a feeling she was carrying, but it did not necessary have to make it less true. Yes, Hanna was capable of taking care of herself, simple as that.

Her jaw dropped as the white yearling entered the scene and greeted her with a simple ’hi’. She was quick to close it again, but she could not take her eyes off the ivory newcomer. Both scent and appearance spoke of the Sadiras, and she knew instantly that this was a relative close to Ceres. Not daughter, that was impossible as Ceres had died years ago, but granddaughter or something similar surely. Colibri gave a polite nod towards the lady that shared her ivory coat. Then they were two, and she could see that the younger female was lost. Colibri was too, but not in the same way. As long as there were paths for her to go, she would never be lost, because right at the moment that was all that she had.

”Hello, I am Colibri. What does a Sadira like yourself do all alone?”

Colibri's voice was warm and motherly. She wanted to comfort the other, as the little female probably had lost. Colibri's fur carried simply a hint of ash and the smell of smoke, as she had began her journey so early, but the other female had the stench heavily upon her, and it was not unlikely that she had barely gotten out alive. A hint of clouded tears was also present, but it did not matter much. Clouded Tears was ruined for many years. Colibri could guide her to the rest of the remaining pack, or she could invite the white ghost to join her for a while.


Dying to meet you


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#4
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[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there.


ZOMG you are rushing me little girl.






holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic]


The voice was gentle, comforting, and Cercelee let herself drift in that voice. Float along in the sound, it was so easy, and soon she found that she had seated herself next to the female, a little rest would be nice. However motherly the voice was, the words were all wrong. I’m no Sadira, Of course she actually was, she had the blood, but she had not had the sir name bestowed upon her. Cercelee did not know why her grandmother’s name had become such a common one, why hadn’t they used her grandfather’s? Why was her extended family so loyal to a dead matriarch? She was loath to introduce herself, knowing that if this female was familiar with the Sadira family, (it seemed everyone was more familiar than herself), than surely she’d be able to hear the similarities between her own name and her dead grandmother’s. However, they couldn’t go on being strangers, now could they?. My name is Cercelee..






Cercelee smiled unsurely at the female, perhaps that’s why the older female was comforting to her. Colibri. Coli. Colibri. Colibri Haki. The year old female was not one to make assumptions, although now that the introductions were past, she could see parts of Coli in Colibri, they were likely to be related, but she would not say so, only this. I have a friend named Colibri... After all, how many Colibris were likely to be running around? Maybe this female would know who she spoke of, perhaps not. Either way, it mattered little as Coli wasn’t down in the lands burning beneath the mountains, she was safe far away. Cercelee was alone now, yes, isn’t that what Colibri had said to her?




I didn’t know any of the wolves of my pack, or my family. It’s not so bad, being alone. I have no one to worry over at any rate. Laruku’s image flashed before her eyes, and of course she worried about him, but like he had said. People come and go, that was life, and she accepted it. The yearling would be glad to learn of her cousin’s safe escape, she would probably seek him out one day, but the conversation they had held and the stark differences between him when Cer had been a child and him now still nagged at her. If she hadn’t of left she couldn’t have stopped the changes anyway, but she could have watched as he slipped from this world into a very apathetic one. Navy eyes turned up towards the female again, pushing the thoughts from her mind. A smile twitched at her lips, unsure of how to proceed.







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#5
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Roar and stuff




I'll be waiting here to meet you


The ivory female named Cercelee said she was no Sadira. Of course she was one, even though she seemed not to be carrying that last name. The name fitted so well to the ivory female, and the rang of it had a breath of Ceres in it. Beautiful. Cercelee may not know her family’s reputation, but Colibri did. She had also been given the pleasure of being a part of Ceres’ life, and her loyal beta. Cer was an unknown relative though, and Colibri was not sure if she should proceed with questions as she meant she had seen a slight hesitation before the ivory yearling had given her a name. So be it, Colibri had all the time in the world, and she usually got her answers in the end anyway. Colibri simply smiled delicately when the youth spoke of another Colibri she knew of. True, Colibri Soul had yet to run into another canine sharing her name, and she did not think more of it. If she had known which other Colibri that Cercelee actually was talking about, she would have been quite a bit more interested. For now, she did now possess that knowledge. ” What a coincidence, two Colibris..”

Colibri gave a nod as the female spoke of loneliness. Cercelee was a bit like Colibri herself, as Coli too had been back in the lands for less than a week before the tragedy occurred and scattered her newfound dreams. Her cool still puzzled her. Seen from another view it was actually good for the other female that she had not been longer than one week in the lands before the fire consumed it. Colibri knew the pain of having family and friends being torn apart. Friends had died in her arms, and she had silently hummed and held her murdered child. In that case a few physical wounds were to prefer rather than emotional ones. It hurt badly. ” I could say the same. ” She had taken her own path even after hearing the alpha’s call. She was out before she had gotten properly in. They were alike, although separated by time and space; age.

“ We are scattered all over. “ Colibri mumbled, voicing what they both were aware of. She looked away from the female that had taken place beside her and stared out blindly into nothing. “ These lands have turned into ashes, and I need to leave. The stench fills my whole being, it’s disgusting. “ She let her eyes fall down at the roe carcass, trailing the burn marks on the remaining skin on its back. It had been a while since she herself had been so close to death, and first time she had watched death in progress, wiping out everything in its path. Greed. “ What will become of you? "


Dying to meet you


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#6
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[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there.








holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic]


Cer’s ears twitched, These lands have turned into ashes, and I need to leave. The stench fills my whole being, it’s disgusting. The signs of destruction clung to her, she thought that she could feel the ashy smell seep into her pores. Gazing down at her legs, covered in soot, she could not tell where the ash ended and the natural light grey the flecked up her legs began, the only markings that kept her separate from the ghost of her grandmother. The words formed a tight ball in her throat, but she quickly swallowed the foul tasting emotions. Colibri was not talking of her, only the land they had wrongly claimed as home and so quickly lost. The same place Cercelee was fleeing. The place where her father’s life had begun, and so in a way, had her’s. The place that her family had sprung from, fled, and returned to so many times. The place that meant so little to her now.






What will become of you? Cercelee’s navy eyes lit up, turned upon Colibri with a curious glance. The question hadn’t occurred to her yet, although it was certainly a natural one and one she supposed many of the wolves climbing the mountain pass fretted over. Cercelee shrugged, she didn’t know, but did not say so out loud. Cercelee hadn’t given much thought to what she would do upon returning to Clouded Tears, except wait for Coli to come back, so it wasn’t as if any big plans had been ruined for her. Clouded Tears had just been a home, an obvious one because she knew that she had a spot there. The young female was willing to accept Clouded Tears as such and make a life there, be happy, but she could do that anywhere, couldn’t she? For a moment she felt the world tumble beneath her as the revelation that she had no sure place in this world dawned. There was no cursed lands to return to now, no history she could latch onto and claim for her own. The world settled and Cercelee realized the falling feeling had all been in her head. She was no better off then than she was now, only now she’d have to find her own place.





Find somewhere new. The words made it all seem so simple. Yet Cer did not know what to expect once she went down the other end of the mountain, didn’t know if there would be shelter or food, but she could keep moving until she found it. Whatever lay before her, she was ready, she had done it before on her own after Coli had told her to move on without her, she could do it again. Still, she had been alone for months now, with only a short interlude as a Clouded Tears member, it was tiring. It would be smarter to travel together, you know? We don’t know what’s down the other side, if food will be easy to get or anything. Cercelee was hopeful, it sounded logical enough. Why else did wolves make packs, but for protection and to get food? Surely if they weren’t with pack, at least two was better than one? Despite the logical appeal to her words, Cercelee knew she was just grasping at the female who reminded her of her friend, of the motherly figure that could so easily be Lyla, of a stranger who was on the same path as her. Once she got a hold she probably wouldn’t let go so easily.







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#7
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I'll be waiting here to meet you


Colibri’s life had started in these gray lands, and had always evolved around both the area and the beings that had inhabited it. It had slowly crumbled into nothing but scattered dreams that once had been reachable. Colibri could do nothing but shrug it away and wear her imaginary mask. Together with age, her ability to distance herself and fake moods had increased greatly, and so it was not hard playing a protector. Find somewhere new sounded simple and was simple. It did not get any more complicated than they made it, and Colibri did not care for details. It was not needed, because everything was in a mess at moment being, the fire had not even died yet, down there in the remaining Bleeding Souls lands. It would never reach the mountain, so Colibri forgot it all and looked another way, into the future, whatever was waiting and within reach.

Colibri’s ears perked and she let her absent gaze return to the face of the miniature Ceres covered in ash rain. It was the words she had wanted to hear. Colibri had no habit of trusting strangers like this, but Cercelee did have a good point, and Colibri would easily admit for herself that she too was tired of being completely alone. That was why she had joined Storm, wasn’t it? She wanted to be close to other beings again, no matter how fragile their bonds were. A child of Ceres was most welcome. It was a foolish and haunting decision. To embrace someone that is so similar to someone she had lost long time ago. Cercelee could never be Ceres, and Colibri hoped she would not make a mistake by forgetting that very fact.

” I do agree with you, Cercelee. Feel free to come with me and dive into these new lands. Better be lost together than on our own. ” Colibri smiled once more and blew on the yearling, and as result a few pieces of ash abandoned the white female’s fur. ” If you are hungry, it would be a good idea to grab a few pieces from the roe there. It was easy to take down, because it was wounded. Hard to know when the next meal will arrive. ” Colibri was a good hunter, but she did not want to take anything for granted either. The two of them could not eat the whole carcass alone, and they could not take it with, so filling up their bellies now before the journey was important.


Dying to meet you


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#8
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[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there.


o.0






holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic]


Relief flooded her, and she let her breath escape. Cer hadn’t realized she had been holding it until that moment, fresh air filling her lungs as Colibri’s words filled her ears. Her smile broadened as Colibri’s breath dusted away some of the ash, and Cercelee began to shake, starting at the tip of her nose and allowing the motion to follow through down to the tip of her tail. Like drying herself, the ash and soot like drops of water flew from her pelt and a cloud formed about her. The debris settled, and Cercelee knew she was still covered in dirt, but she could take care of that later, find a stream or a spring and submerge herself until she came out the color of fresh snow. Cer went to work on the remainder of the roe, although she found she hadn’t much of an appetite and could not finish all that was left.






We can leave it, perhaps someone else will come along and need a snack after their escape. The young wolf was eager to be on their way, the mountains weren’t where they were meant to stay, she felt that in her bones. Cer allowed the older female to take the lead, it wasn’t that she wasn’t capable of leading, it just seemed natural for her to allow the other to go first. Neither of them knew what lay ahead, neither had an advantage, but Colibri had lived more years. Colibri seemed a little more concrete than Cer thought herself to be. Cercelee would take life however it came, it did not matter what came she would find a way to make it work. The year old would allow Colibri shape the next few days for her, shape the next few miles they traveled, she could even dictate the conversation for all the difference it would make to Cer.





As they walked in silence, Cer slowly let the thoughts re-enter her head. Too often she functioned on automatic, actions that just came naturally: running from fire, eating, drinking, pissing. Other times she willed her conscious thoughts away, saving them for later, but now didn’t seem like too bad a time to think. They had a plan, which was to keep moving, and so could spare her brain for a while to the ideas that nagged at her from the dark recesses she usually stored them in. Colibri. The name was not common, and it seemed an unlikely coincidence that her old friend and her new friend would share it. Still, never the one to make assumptions, she would provide the pieces and see if Colibri would fit them together for her. To tell you the truth I hadn’t been in Clouded Tears very long before the fire, only a few nights. I had been traveling with my friend Coli before that, we ran into her father... Haku... and she stayed with him, which is why I decided to return to Tears. Wandering seems to be my lot as of lately.







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#9
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I'll be waiting here to meet you


Colibri recognized relief, and was hit by a warm emotional wave. Strange, it was an odd feeling. Colibri tilted her head and flattened her ears gently as the younger fae made a decent attempt to remove the ash. She felt some dust take sanctuary in some of her fur. She could do nothing but smile though, and certainly did not mind. She watched the female eat in silence, but fully understood the female’s lack of proper appetite. Even though none of them had any proper loss because of the wildfire, they were not untouched by the tragedy. She nodded as the other female suggested leaving it for someone else. It was the right thing to do, and it revealed a positive side of the young female.

Then they left, she did not look back, but looked straight ahead and took the lead, as the younger female fell a few steps behind, leaving Colibri free to make out the way. So she did. The silence that first ruled was not uncomfortable in any way, and it allowed Colibri’s thoughts to drift calmly around this whole lifestyle that had changed so drastically. Her fluffy white ears flickered and let Cercelee’s words enter, but she was absent minded. However, the female stopped dead in her tracks as Haku was mentioned. Her Haku? Good Lord, was it possible?

She turned her face calmly around and set her eyes at Cercelee. Simply a mere coincidence any longer? Oh no, she thought not. ” Haku Soul? Are you sure? Colibri was his daughter? " It was a challenge keeping her calmness all of a sudden, and invisible hands grasped after her throat and threatened choking her. This was too sick.


Dying to meet you


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#10
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[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there.









holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic]


Colibri Haki. Haku Soul. Yes, I am sure. Coli was the best friend she could possibly have ever asked for, of course she was sure. Although she often thought of and referred to Coli as her cousin, Haku was her real cousin, Coli his daughter. The two white pups had been fated to meet, fated to be friends. Arriving at nearly the same time, orphans both of them, they fit like a puzzle, completed each other in a way. They couldn’t have helped the friendship if they had wanted. Their destinies were coded in their blood and written in the stars. Judging by Colibri’s reaction, Colibri’s voice, Cercelee guessed that she was right. Colibri was somehow connected to Coli, through Haku. Perhaps, Cer and Colibri, too, were fated to meet. Two wanders, fleeing from a place so recently they had reunited with, it seemed as predetermined as her friendship with Coli had, it seemed as natural as breathing air.






You know Haku then? The words were casual and cool, although Colibri seemed shaken. Cercelee only asked the question to confirm, she knew the answer already, but hoped Colibri would tell her just how she knew him. Maybe the two females had closer ties than they thought, or at least than Cercelee had thought. Colibri knew of Cercelee’s family history better than Cer herself, so the idea had probably already crossed her mind. The yearling continued to tread forward, steel muscles under her cotton colored coat never giving out. Although the conversation seemed serious now, they moved forward. Always moving forward. There was nothing back there for them, only forward.








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#11
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I'll be waiting here to meet you


She had a grandchild, Haku’s daughter. His daughter was named after her, Colibri. Colibri Haki. The soon five year old continued moving, and let her eyes dwell on the lands lying ahead, eyes that were slightly wet. She kept her face halfway turned away from the yearling, and did not revealed the fact that she was moved by the facts laid out on the table. Sadness and joy danced hand in hand, and she thought of those last days with Haku. He had found her after they both had left the Bleeding Souls lands a second time, and they had been together. The problem was, that she had ruined him, there was something wrong inside of his head, something that should not be there. A ghost, a demon or maybe it was the devil himself. Usually he had seemed normal, but the last thing she remember seeing before passing out was a pair of brilliant blue eyes that were empty. There had been no soul in that boy. Colibri Soul was supposed to be dead. Yet, she had woken up with her breath still as a witness of life, and Haku’s footprints spoke of a northern journey.

She had thought back to a day many years ago in Concrete Jungle, where she and some other wolf that she could not remember the name of had found a hidden floor in a house, filled with occult mysteries. There had been a corpse of a man there, a beautiful necklace and a dagger matching it in its hands. The human had taken his own life, stabbing himself in the heart. The same necklace as Colibri had given to her son, Haku Soul. Colibri had sinned, and she knew why. What about the child. Seeing Cercelee spoke of this Coli Haku without hesitation, Colibri guessed they would be on the same age. To think, Colibri would maybe never have known this if it had not been for this relative of her deceased best friend. The ivory adult was still not sure if she was grateful for the news, as her offspring always caused her a major heartache. She had held it on a distance for so long, but now the wall had cracks in it. It was all a part of living.

” Yes, I do know Haku. He is my son. ” How bizarre, her son was alive and she had a granddaughter. Haku was sick, what would happen to Colibri Haki if she still was together with her father. What if the same happened to Colibri the second that had almost happened to Colibri the first? Still, he had named his daughter after her. It warmed, yet no smile was visible any longer on the female’s alabaster lips. ” How was he when you two ran into him? ” That question could be meant several ways, but Colibri left it to the other ivory female to figure out how she would answer. This was surreal.


Dying to meet you


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#12
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[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there.


o.0






holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic]


Cercelee thought back to when her and Coli had first ran into Haku. Nothing had seemed off about him than, and neither Coli or Haku had seemed very hesitant of one another, at least Cercelee hadn’t detected any weirdness between the two. Part of Cercelee would have to be grateful to Haku, he had watched out for both the small ivory children. He had fed them and offered protection for quite a while, although he hadn’t been the most attentive guardian at least he had kept the two puppies alive. If it weren’t for Haku I wouldn’t be alive now. When Coli and I met him we were both too young to be on our own.






Haku had been good to them, for a while at least. Then he had started acting strange, but even as Cercelee thought about it, it was hard to explain. It wasn’t so much that he acted differently, it was more of a feeling, as if Haku was projecting a different sort of energy towards the two of them. His speech was different yes, but he had never made any hostile moves against either of them, at least not while Cercelee had been with them. Coli asked me to leave her, promised me she would meet up with me again. Haku had started acting a bit off at that point, which is why she told me to go, but she stayed with him. Cercelee couldn’t expand much more than that. Her time with Haku hadn’t been unusual, they had just traveled, hunted, talked sometimes, she grew up and left. It was impossible to really explain the subtle weirdness Haku had begun to give off, so Cercelee didn’t even try, what else was there to say? Haku is actually my cousin you know.






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#13
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I'll be waiting here to meet you


Haku had taken care of both the children? It was almost possible for the soon to be five years old female to start creating excuses for Haku’s actions. As the other female had spoken, Colibri gave a slight nod and continued on their glorious path into whatever waited for them ahead. They were all complex beings. Although they all judged as they saw fit, none could justify their own existence and what happened while they were mortals, walking the green mile to a certain doom that waited for them all. They would fry for their sins in the end, just like the poor beings that had been consumed in the extreme heat. Colibri had felt the stench of burned flesh and death, been so close to the tragedy, but she had been the silent viewer with the popcorn on the back row. The instinct had been woken and both predator and prey had joined into a mutual retreat. She did not try dive into other canine’s mental health any longer, as her own was not completely stable(it surely did not feel like it), and the unknown objects lurking under the surface could sting, could bite, could kill.

Acting a bit off. Colibri could not make up her mind if she should follow it up or not. If Haku had done something terrible to children, she could not bear it. Many predators were cruel, and she had even met a female wolf that had not hesitated killing innocent puppies. Syliat had taken three of her offspring. It happened, but Colibri Soul’s children were not like that, had not been raised to spread chaos and destruction. Poor little Haku boy with the shortened tail, she loved him with all her heart, but what would be left of it after it had bled itself into a hollow shell? Cercelee added a new bit of information, a welcome sentence that could allow Colibri to slightly change the subject. Haku being Cercelee’s cousin, Colibri assumed she was from Ceres’ second litter, as Acid and Scarlette and Naal(was that his name? Colibri’s brain failed to provide information) were half and half. Colibri’s first litter was one fourth coyote. They were gone and written out of history, but she imagined them alive somewhere, just like she did with Melisande and Mew, if only she could know that they were safe and well.

She could not remember many names from Ceres’ last litter either, and she believed it had been bigger than the first. Iskata Sadira, Ajji Sadira and Adrostos Morpheus or something similar.” Does not surprise me, Cer. You carry the snow white coat and the sapphire blue eyes. ” A little smile twinkled in the older female’s silver eyes. So similar to her memory of the ghostly Alpha female. ” Who are your parents?” Simple easy questions, and free to dig deeper after something interesting afterwards.


Dying to meet you


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#14
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[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there.









holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic]


Cercelee flicked her velvety ears back in annoyance. As a child in the Clouded Tears lands she had been told that she had looked like the dead female, Ceres, and many who did not know Cercelee herself, assumed the child was of the Sadira clan. It seemed that when a puppy with a darker coat was born into that family they were truly a black sheep, a stranger in their own family. Cercelee wondered what the ratio of Ceres look-a-likes and those with unique coats was in her extended family, was the a difference in who survived the longest, were certain colors back luck? Tired of being a shadow, she wanted to tell Colibri that she was not a living ghost. Ceres had never graced her presence, dead before she had been born, she owed the female nothing. Her father had not had the tell-tale traits of a Sadira family, his eyes had been gray-green, his coat a common gray wolf color. Perhaps his genes had contributed to her eyes and coat, but her mother too had sported a brilliantly white pelt, dazzling blue eyes. None of them had known Lyla though, none of them could make the comparison, and Cercelee didn’t want to point out the fact that her father had picked a mate that looked exactly like his own mother.






Cercelee was past both mourning her parents, or lack of, as well as her dead brothers. The young female no longer skirted the subject, but she also did not relish in reminding herself of their absence. It was just more useless information about her history, it had nothing to do with her person. However if Colibri wished to know, she would tell her, it wasn’t a secret for her keeping. My father was Adrastos, Cercelee paused, she was sure that was the name Colibri had been waiting for. Adrastos was the one who was her connection with the lands they had just left, with the wolves that fled the fire along with Colibri and Cercelee. If not for the male, she wouldn’t be here, she wouldn’t have met Coli or Laruku or Colibri. Yet he wasn’t here, and aside from a name to throw out to curious people, he meant very little anymore. My mother was Lyla, but she’s not living any longer. I had two brothers as well, Tuki and Lisi. I don’t know where Adrastos is any longer, though I am sure that he’s around, somewhere.






Adrastos of course was still living, somewhere. Cercelee did not doubt that for one moment. Always too smart for himself, too resourceful. He had been a hero in her eyes once. Despite how upset he had been, how out of his mind, he wouldn’t let himself fall to a meaningless end. It would take an army to kill her father, Cercelee was sure, but she also knew she wouldn’t be seeing him any time soon. That was fine with her.






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#15
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I'll be waiting here to meet you


Colibri picked up the mild annoyance, but failed at first to understand the reason why. She did not see what problem it was to be recognized. Even though she had Ceres in hear mind when she looked at the young female, she had not said anything about the similarity, only that she could see that Cer was a Sadira. It could be annoying, but Cercelee had been alone, and Colibri would have believed finding family connections would be met with happiness. The adult female saw the situation that way because that was what her dreams and thoughts centered, her family. The scattered family. She should seriously stop trying so hard. Let go. Seemed like she never could finish mourning her damn children and mates. The female was stuck in her own tracks. It was not Cercelee’s fault she looked like she did, painted in the typical Sadira colors, looking so much like the original Ceres. Colibri had never claimed her to be her grandmother’s living shadow, just a Sadira in general.

Adrastos it had been then, and yes, that was the one she had betted on. She said nothing though and made sure to not let her face let out any expression. Tuki and Lisi reminded her of Daituki and Lisichka, which were the two wolves Coli automatically assumed Cer’s siblings had been named after. These families were so mixed up in names, relations and everything. It was a complete mess, and she did not even know half the family. Colibri simply nodded again, believing too that Adrastos was out there in the wild, ” These families are broken. ” What else was there to say really? There was not a joyful path the conversation had turned into. Although, it was wonderful to know the bloodline lived on. She continued in silence, trotting steadily toward the unknown with the yearling by her side. Things went as they did, and it was not possible for anyone to control destiny.

” I suppose it is hard to constantly hear that you look just like a typical Sadira. ” Maybe not hard but yes, annoying. If Cercelee had lived in Clouded Tears, then she supposed the young female got to hear it.


Dying to meet you


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#16
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[ooc] -- i thought you'd be there.









holding daisies, counting stars. -- [bic]


These families are broken. They were, broken in tiny bits that got tossed to the wind and winded up god knows where, but it wasn’t any of Cercelee’s concern. Yes, by blood they might be her family, but those she had never met, she gave no thought to. Those she had met who were gone only received minimal consideration. Cer liked Laruku and Coli, she would think of them fondly, rejoice when they were around, but she couldn’t mope if they weren’t present. Couldn’t spend her whole time wondering why her family couldn’t stay together in one place, couldn’t all be happy all the time. The yearling lived for now, no other time, and she resented the fact that other placed her within such a large group that’s being was so rooted in history. A history Cercelee wasn’t even a part of. Sadira, who are the Sadiras? She wanted to scream that anytime anyone reminded her that she looked like them.






Yet there was no screaming. Cercelee didn’t think there had ever been a time in her life she had screamed. Cried, loudly even, yes, but screamed? No. Anger was never felt, annoyance, resentment, those could run rampant at times, but they were always stuffed back into whatever holes they had crawled out of. Those feelings just didn’t become her, she was a calm creature, cool and collected, and she would remain as such. I don’t even know the Sadiras, I’m not really one of them. Adrastos would be disappointed to hear her speak so of his family, but really, wasn’t it his fault? She had not even know the origins of her name and those of her brothers’ until Laruku had filled in the large gaps, missing chunks of her family ties and their names and what it all meant. Adrastos had chosen to raise his family far from the others, Adrastos had given her no history to their (his) family, he had simply dropped her at the borders of Clouded Tears one day, might as well have sent her down a river in a basket. I would just like it if when others saw me, they saw me. I don’t want to remind anyone of my aunts or uncles or cousins or of her. I want to remind them of me, only they don’t know me, they only know them. I’m not one of them.







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