Amazing view

Itzal · 01-10-2011, 12:29 AM

[html]

OOC: anyone feel free to come accompany him. WC 206

Itzal had seen the lighthouse while on shore. He had not thought much of it. But then, when he was just laying down, it rose to the fore front of his mind. He wondered what the view was like up there? Maybe if he went up at the right time, he could see the sunrise, and reflect off the ocean. It would probably be beautiful he thought. What was it with him and beautiful things? Oh well, it would still be cool. So he had decided to head there one night and wait for morning time.

He had finally decided to go, leaving at late evening, traveling to the lighthouse. He would camp out until morning came. He would probably take a book or two, try to work through reading them. He was not very good at reading, or writing, so he tried his best to get better every chance he got. This would be an idle oppurtunity to work on it. Now if only he had someone to pass the time with. But he didn't know who to ask to accompany him. Oh well, he was stilled pumped about his camp out. Now all he had to do was get to the lighthouse on time

Axelle Napier · 01-10-2011, 02:30 AM

[html]

I didn’t exactly know where to come in this... I tried, if you want me to change anything let me know WC: 332

Points: 3

Axelle looked up at the light house that sat so serenely on the shore. It sat there like a huge beacon. She read once that lighthouses were there to direct human ships to the shore so they wouldn’t crash. It made sense. She was walking on four legs today, something she hadn’t done in a while being pregnant and not wanted to kill herself and all. It felt as if she was back in her comfort zone. She missed it. Her half and half colors gave her somewhat of an advantage at night. Her black side made her blend in, but the white side gave her away. She would have to make sure that no one saw her on the left side or else her cover would be blown.

She walked along the shore staring up at the lighthouse and wondering what it would be like to go inside. She wished she knew what the light looked like when it worked. Was it just a beam of light staring into the ocean or did it turn? A yawn overcame her, and when she inhaled hard she caught the scent of another. A male. Axelle stopped walking abruptly and looked around herself. Males were not good. They meant trouble. Trouble and pain. But she was dangerously curious at the same time and wondered who it could’ve been. She peered around herself and pinpointed where the scent was coming from. She then followed it like a moron hoping she wouldn’t get eaten.

Axelle continued to follow the scent eventually coming across a camp site. There was the brute sitting there. Was he reading? She prowled closer, but attempted to stay hidden. She did make some noise though. Axelle hid herself behind a few rocks, but gave her hiding spot away when she stepped on a rather noisy object. Some type of plastic it was and it crinkled loudly. Human things. She growled lowly to herself and froze hoping he wouldn’t come and attack her.

Acts Speaks Thinks &Emphasizes

Table by Noelle

[/html]

Itzal · 01-10-2011, 10:27 AM

[html]

OOC: No that is great, you Don't need to change anything. 330 WC

Itzal had arrived at camp with enough time to try and puzzle through reading. So he had sat down to try and see if he could understand some of these words. After an hour, he was on page ten. Sadly enough, that was good progress for him. He was just about to give up and just wander around when he heard a crinkling noise. It came from some rocks. Itzal smiled to himself, but inside he scowlded himself to. You are suppose to be a master as being undetected, that also means you should know when someone else around you is trying to go undetected. Either way, it did not seem like who ever it was meant him harm, or else they would not be sneaking around him.

Itzal looked up at the rocks. "You can come out. I am not going to hurt you if that is what you think. There is really no need to hide from me. " He wondered why whoever it was was hiding. Sure, his mostly wolf blood gave him some bulk, and his coyote blood gave him a look of being very agile, but he tried his hardest not to make himself seem so aggressive. Maybe they just wanted to know what he was doing here?

Then Itzal scented the air to see if he could pick up the scent. He thought he could smell female, but he was not sure since the smoke from his fire gave off a smell that clogged his nose. But he would have guessed female from what he could smell.

Suddenly Itzal felt akward in his optime form, when around other wolves, he would rather be on four legs, in either secui, or lupus. And he knew this wolf was in one of those two, he knew from experience optime was almost always to noise to be sneaky. He thought he might want to change, but first, he was going to wait and see who his visitor was.

Axelle Napier · 01-14-2011, 11:17 AM

[html]

Ok ^.^ WC: 212

Axelle cursed under her breath. Stupid human pollution. The male called out to her. He didn’t seem all that bad, but sometimes that kind demeanor was only a front. A front to lure you in until they’ve got you. Still, her curiosity wanted her to meet dangerous people. She poked her head out from behind the rock with her ears pointing forward. She looked very inquisitive. Then her body followed cautiously. She didn’t approach, though. She stayed where she was and her body posture was kind of nervous. Her tail hung slightly curled under her, but not obviously. She stepped one step closer and sniffed the air. No, he didn’t smell like danger. It was decided.

She padded over towards him and sat down by the fire. It was cold, and the fire was warm. The fire also reminded her of some memories of burning pups that she would like to keep out of the conversation. It captured her eyes though, and she couldn’t leave the dancing flames even if she tried. Barely conscious, she began to talk to the male before her. She didn’t even look at him much to notice what he looked like. It was almost like the fire caught her in a trance.

Hello. What is your name?

Acts Speaks Thinks &Emphasizes

Table by Noelle

[/html]

Itzal · 01-14-2011, 02:05 PM

[html]

Sorry it is so long, I'm trying to join SSWM late, WC: 683!

Itzal had not always been so controlled, so nice. He was a killer. Deep down. When he was alone and on his own. He rarely meant those that he did not kill. Unless it was a pack he was trading supplies with or giving rookie tattoos to. But the wild on, the ones that tried to kill him, some of the ones that gave him these scars he wore proudly, he had not hesitated to kill them. It had got so bad he went crazy with it. Slipping into a form of barely living. All that he ever thought about was blood, and death, he would wander for hours, just trying to find someone to challenge him. But then something happened to wake him up. I pulled him out of that half existence, that black void in his head. He barely remembered the details of what had happened. But he did remember it changed him. When he woke up, he had twice as many scars. More gruesome. These he was ashamed of. They were mostly on his legs, but some were on his neck and back. These had history, these had a evil to them. But no one but him could tell the diffrence between them and the rest. If anyone ever asked, he told them he got them fighting in the wild, they never looked any deeper. Something he was more then happy about.

It was the evil in him that had made him want to settle down and come to a pack. It was what made him want to lose the past. It was also why he would never smoke the drugs around here. He was terrified of not being in control of his own body, of what would happen. It had changed so much about him. And he was happy. Because that change let him be nice to this female. When he could sense her hesitation. She had a past as well, almost all of the wolves do, and almost all wolves did not like to share them. What was it about them that made them like that? He wondered if the humans had that problem. Probably not, but he would not be a human if he could have been.

He looked over at the female as she came out, he smiled his smirkish smile at her. It was not that he was cocky, though he could be. It was just the way he smiled. He was sneaky, smart. It was just a part of him. But he looked her over. Hurt, maybe not physically, but she looked beat up mentally maybe. He watched her some more, trying not to seem rude. But after she had gotten close enough, she was lost in the fire. He smiled to himself. The wolf was certainly interesting. White on one side and black on the other. Split right down the middle. She was pretty, and the glow of the fire had an odd effect on her fur. The whiter side had an almost orange glow to it, but the black had a lighter grey to it. Almost like the white was the fire, glowing and burning. And the black was the gray ash that came after.

He realized he was staring kind of long and looked away, staring at the fire to. She asked his name. But it was like she was in an almost trance like state. He watched the fire as it moved. Untamed, and wild. It reminded him of himself, so long ago. Itzal. He stared at the fire for a long time. It is amazing isn't it. How dangerous it is. But at the same time, we just can not seem to stay away from it. The warmth it brings with the danger, the light it gives off. It is wild, untamed and dominant. It is like what ever one of us wishes to be in our own way. he blinked and closed his eyes, then opened them and looked back at her. What is your name? He smiled at her, not his smirkish one, but a real one.

Axelle Napier · 01-21-2011, 11:36 AM

[html]

It’s okay, good luck ! WC: 319

Points: 3

The flames danced before her eyes and she almost wanted to jump in there and join them. She wanted to dance, too. She wished she was happy enough to dance. Dancing wasn’t an option right now, though. Not with what was on her mind. If she was doing the dance of death, that would be another story. His words broke her concentration from the fire. They were true and interesting. The fire was like so many others. Some are wild and some are tamed, just like fires. The wild ones were crazy and burned down forests and sometimes other wolves like those who murdered and hurt for fun. Then there was those tamed fires that were kept in one area like this one, but was still raging to get out of it’s one spot. Wolves that had discipline and morals, those were represented by the controlled fire.

Axelle.

She was still kind of lost in thought. Now lost in her own thoughts and thoughts about what Itzal had just said. She looked past the fire and up at the looming lighthouse standing tall. She wondered if she could be able to just go to the top. She wanted to jump off, but didn’t want to die from all the jagged rocks below. If only they had one in the middle of the ocean…

What are you doing here?

Her eyes rested upon him, searching him in a way. His coat was as dark as night, but had a golden glow from the fire. His eyes were as yellow as a tiger’s hunting eyes. He looked as if he could’ve been someone like Kemo in his earlier days. She was grateful he wasn’t now, or at least he wasn’t showing it. She was staring too long, but was fascinated with his colors. They weren’t anything extraordinary, but they were normal. Normal was something she hadn’t come to notice much lately.

Acts Speaks Thinks &Emphasizes

Table by Noelle

[/html]

Itzal · 01-21-2011, 06:51 PM

[html]

SORRY got kind of long on you, I did not plan on giving you one this long, just kind of happened, lol. You do not have to try and match me, do not worry about that. 1042

Itzal watched her for a few more seconds, she was still intent on the fire, and then he looked away, up to the lighthouse. He wanted to be nice to this female. And so far he was doing good. But he could feel it eating at him. The need to be mean, evil you could say. And he was evil, at least a part of him was. He felt like a war was constantly raging inside of him. Right over wrong, nice over mean, and evil over good. It was a constantly shifting battle, one that would never end. He would always be like this, always want to cause others pain, and at the same time he would want to protect them from it. He could just not catch a break. But the evil in him sensed this girls hesitation, she was afraid, she was weak, easy pickings, though he did not like it when it was easy, he liked a challenge, but he would still take what he got. He could even feel that part of him that loved to kill agreeing, he knew they were connected, but at times they felt diffrent. She does not expect anything, she might be on guard, but you are fast, kill her, let us do it together, you know we love the feeling of their blood being spilled by us, I know it isn't just me, you miss it to, we need it, you and me, to survive, so take what you need. He felt it, read it almost like body lanuage. It never spoke using words, but more like Itzal could feel what it was trying to tell him, see it and decphyer it like body lanuage. And this time it said to kill. But Itzal would not give in so easy, he was stronger then that, he was the one in control, and he would not harm her. He could still be a danger to her though, and he did not like the fact that it was true that he did somewhat like to kill, to feel their life ended by him. It made him sick, and he did not always want to kill, like now, like other times. He looked away from the lighthouse as she spoke her name, it, like so many others he had heard, was unusual, and diffrent, but it was only reasonable that there were so many diffrent names here. Because there were so many diffrent types of canines here. He smiled at her, and then he looked at the fire. "Interesting, it is nice, to stay the least." It was normal for him to be polite to females, he was a gentleman deep, deep down inside, and he felt a respect was deserved for them, though that did not mean he held them above other males, just that it was a common courtesy to be nice when he felt like it. And right now, he felt like being nice to her, though he was not sure how long that would last, his mood shifted often, depending on almost anything. But he would try not to be rude, he made no promises to himself or to her. He looked away from the fire again, then stuck his hand on the very edge of it, almost in it. He could feel the heat starting to singe the fur there, and for a second he was tempted to stick his hand in the fire, feel it as the fire burned him, slowly spreading the fire through his hair as he burned. He would feel the pain he had inflicted on so many others, feel the pain he deserved. He was so tempted. But it would be rude to burn the life from yourself in front of company, so he just pulled his hand back. He looked at her. "I'm here to go up to the light house when it gets near dawn. I want to see the sun rise from up there, I think it will be work it. You are welcome to stick around if you want. But what are you doing out here?" His voice was in diffrent, but it warmed only slightly when he offered for her to stay, then went back to the hollow sound it was before when he asked her his question. He did not like showing to much emtion. It could be a qeakness that when started, could be the downfall of a person. He sighed, then smiled at her softly, before standing and turning, walking over to a tree, standing ten feet away, he slide his hand down his side slowly. Then his hand snapped forward to his hip, entering the pouch at his side, and his hand shot back out, his eyes moved to the tree infront of him, and in the next instant his hand shifted back, and then forward with much strength. He did not have to wait long for the dull thud as his knife appeared in the trees trunk. He swore under his breath. He was a few inchs away from the middle of the tree trunk. He had gotten shappy after not praticing, and would have to make up for it. He turned to look at the female though, and his smirkish smile was on his face. "Allow me to apologize for my lack of accuracy, I have been out of pratice for a while now." He honestly thought that his throw had been bad, though it had only been a few inchs from the middle, and he had done it with such speed, his oppent would only have about four or five seconds to react. Few could have pulled that off, but since he had praticide since he was about six months, or seven, he could not remember, he had become very good at it, and he demanded almost perfect perfection. He turned around and was still smiling when he walked over and pulled the knife out of the tree, then moved back to where he was standing and got ready to repeat the action. If his companion did not object, he would use this time for pratice. He just hoped it did not make her feel like he was trying to intimidate her.

Axelle Napier · 01-23-2011, 03:07 PM

[html]

Wow, you wrote a book ^.^ WC: 322

Points: 3

There was a change in the air around where Itzal was sitting. This made Axelle uncomfortable a little. It was a conflicting air and it was kind of tense. She almost suddenly felt threatened, but didn’t show it. As soon as she showed it, the male would probably give in to his conflicting emotions, whatever they were. She didn’t exactly want to find out. This could turn bad very quickly. The femme tried not to tense up as best she could. It was pretty successful. She made sure her mind wasn’t anywhere else but here now. She just stared into the fire, careful not to look at him.

When the brute got up and turned away from her she looked up at him. He pulled a knife slowly from his bag. Uh, oh. He held it up almost eye level, and threw it at a tree. The knife sliced easily through the tree, but not into it’s fake heart. Still painful, and probably life threatening were it an actual luperci. Close enough. The sound of the knife hitting the tree made Axelle twitch. Itzal walked over and pulled it out of the tree, and threw it again. This time it made Axelle twitch lightly, but still it bothered her. If the male was going to do that instead of mauling her, then she would have to deal with it.

No need.

He was on the side of her, and she quickly moved to the other side of the fire while he wasn’t looking. Now she was facing him with the fire between them. This was so she had a clear view, just in case.

I would love to come to the lighthouse with you later.

That was a lie. She wouldn't risk it to just leave, though. It might anger him, and she did not want to anger him now while he was throwing knives with great precision at trees. Poor trees.

Acts Speaks Thinks &Emphasizes

Table by Noelle

[/html]

Itzal · 02-01-2011, 10:58 AM

[html]

Yeah, sorry, this one is shorter, sorry I didn't reply soon, have been under the weather, and still am a little, so sorry for any suckyness. 443

Itzal looked at the female. He could tell she had an idea of the fight going on in him. Did she know how big it was? How a part of him was screaming to kill her. But he would not let it. He looked at her. "I'm sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable, you can obviously tell I'm completely at peace or normal. But I promise not to harm you if I can help it." Itzal was being honest with her, and there was no point in trying to hide the fact that he was conflicting inside, but that did not mean he would tell her the extent of it. She would just have to trust him not to hurt her, even though he doubted she would. Itzal was someone who came off as a nice guy most of the time, when he wanted to, but it could just as easily be a trick. Sure, his compliments and attitude were truly nice, there was nothing decieving about that, what usually got most people were his motives, and they never questioned if just cause he was kind, could he be trusted. He was very solitary, and he did not trust many, if anyone. So in turn, they should not trust him. He showed what he wanted, anger, kindness, anything, when he wanted and how he wanted. He was good at playing people, so it was only natural for some people not to trust him, and for others to trust him completely. But right now he was being honest with this female, and he really did not have any intention of hurting her on purpose. But that did not matter, she would probably be on guard, which was a good thing.

Itzal had stood up and was still aiming at the tree. Keeping very percise throws. He had gotten two into the heart of the tree, and about four close to it. He nodded a quick adknowlegment of her comment. Of course she saw no need for him to apologize, but Itzal did. But he knew that he was far from ambisinister when it came to throwing his knives. He was not clusmy with his hands at all really. Only when it came to certain things was he ever really clumsy. He noticed her move and smiled some. He threw his knife again, hitting the tree in the heart for the third time then turned around and smiled at her. "Ok, but you do not have to join me if you wish not to, however, if you wish to come along, feel free." He did not want her to feel forced into accompaning him.

Axelle Napier · 02-03-2011, 02:05 AM

[html]

It's okay, my muse has gone on vacation -__- I love your table Smile WC: 276

It was almost like the brute read her mind. Or maybe it was that her poker face wasn’t as good as she thought. Embarrassing. Her ears lowered, and she countered his suspicion with indifference. She kept her eyes on him now, and watched him throw his knife. She could probably do better than him with beginner’s luck. She hoped to scare him off. It was only thoughts, though. She would not throw his knife, she would probably miss, and he would not be afraid of her or even the slightest bit of worried. It was all a daydream.

I would know if you were going to hurt me. I see no such intentions.

She was lying again. She knew he wanted to, but was holding himself back. She saw the same internal conflict in another she had met, but that one had let himself go. He had attacked her and left her with some scars she still had today. That assault was strange. She didn’t even know the brute that attacked her that time.

He spoke again, and she found that her eyes had wandered to the tree that was pierced over and over again. Poor tree. She thought to herself again. His question arose in her ear. It took her a minute to realize what he was saying before answering him.

No, I want to accompany you.

What was with her and all these lies? She smiled at him, and returned her gaze to the dwindling fire. Dawn was slowly approaching, and soon she would be exploring with him and his conflictions. He’d better get them devils under control. She wasn’t one to mess with.

Acts Speaks Thinks &Emphasizes

Table by Noelle

[/html]

Itzal · 02-07-2011, 06:06 PM

[html]

692, and Thanks, Shannon made it for me, and Yeah, my muse has been kind of dead lately.

Itzal was doing better now. He was in complete control. He had pushed it down into himself again. He sighed with relief, it was exhausting to have to fight with himself internally. And it was getting harder lately. One of the reasons he lived so well with himself before, when he was a wanderer, was because he fought with others he meant often. And when he fought, he let that part of him out some, enough to influence him, but not make him stupid and beyond reason. It helped settle the darker part, and give him an advantage in battle. However, since he had come here and decided to settle in, he had not had a good fight any time recently. He was a skilled fighter, but even he had his limitations. But even with that thought in mind, that part of him always desideratumed more, always wanted a better fighter. Few that he had meant had the tatical mind for fighting he did. He did not just fight blindly, he planned and thought. He was actually very smart, he had just never had to apply that intelligence to anything more sophsicated like history or reading/writing. He sighed, again.

He smirked at her words and looked at her smiling. "I hope you would be able to tell. And You're right, I don't have any intentions to." He lied, smoothly, part of him had, but now, the part in control, did not, so it was only a half lie. He smiled at her and then turned back to the tree, walking over and pulling the knife out of the tree, he turned back around and walked over and sat by the fire, slipping his knife back into the pouch and laying back. He was good at acting relaxed, at being unconcered. The truth was he was paying attention to the female. He did not drop his guard a lot, if ever. He did not trust her, just like she probably did not trust him, and he understood the mutual feeling. It was a very strong emtion, trust, one that people had to work to earn, and even then, there was a chance they never would earn a certain person's trust. Itzal smiled to himself at the thought. He did not care if people trusted him or not, as long as they knew not to mess with him.

Itzal closed his eyes and listened to the fire crackle, feeling the warmth it let off as it bathed his skin in its warm embrace. He thought about all those people who would never feel this again, who would never see the sky filled with stars. It was because of him, he had killed them, some he had no reason to kill other then his own gain. He did not care about them, they had been nothing to him, but they still had a life. It did not change the way he felt, he knew there were people out there tha would kill him just to kill him. It might be for some self gain, or just for fun, to feel the power it gave them. He knew that power, he knew he was a monster, he had no right to live, no right to feel this warmth, but he still felt it. And the part that made him all the more sure of his demonic nature, was the fact he felt no saddness, not regret for what he had done. He did not shed tears for them, he did not torture himself about it, he just accepted what he had done. The only thing he did was try to make up for it, he tried to do what he could to prove he deserved to live, but it still did not change what he had done, or what he is.

Itzal stirred from his thoughts at Axelle's words, opening his eyes and nodding slightly. "Ok then, we will be leaving soon." He smiled and closed his eyes again, letting his mind wander like it always did. As soon as he felt it was late enough for them to leave, he planned on setting out.

Axelle Napier · 02-08-2011, 02:51 AM

[html]

WC: 270.

She felt instantly relieved when he pulled his knife out of the tree for the last time, and came to sit by the fire. He looked better now that he tortured the tree. Welll, at least it wasn’t another wolf. Pft. What did she care? She had done something worse than just killing. She had tortured, and killed the most innocent thing in life. Puppies. Sure, she felt horrible at the time while doing it, but now she saw no flaws in her actions. It had to be done, and it was meant to be done.

I’m glad you stopped that…

She gestured toward the tree and his knife. She was no longer staring into the fire, but more alert now. She felt she needed to stay on her toes for this one. The throwing of his knife into the innocent tree bark did unnerve her a bit, and she was glad he stopped.

You were hurting the trees.

She explained herself while looking down at her legs. She was sure he was giving her some sort of weird expression. She didn’t want to look up and see his face though. His condition intrigued her in a way, and the question was pulling at her brain for quite some time now. She was concentrating on keeping it in, but she slipped.

Do you hear voices?

She was familiar with those who did, and noticed all the signs. Someone close to her had heard voices, and she knew all the key facial expressions and the body language of an episode. I guess one could say she was good at reading people.

Itzal · 03-01-2011, 06:51 PM

[html]

WC: 462. Sorry I took so long to reply.

Itzal glanced at her, his expression was blank, he then looked away at the sky, sighing softly and rolling his shoulders. He sat up and looked at the fire again, then he looked at his arm and noticed a scar he had forgotten he had. He reached a hand up to rub it, tracing it and trying to remember how he had gotten it. He couldn't remember, he had so many that now he just accepted that there are a lot of them he would not always know the history of. He sighed and dropped his hand, then looked over at Axelle at her words. It took him a second to realize she did not mean rubbing his scar, but meant throwing the knife at the tree. That conclusion was proven when she gestured to the knife in its pouch. He nodded and looked down at his arm, counting and tracing the scars with his eyes. He wondered how many he had inflicted on himself. He remembered right before he had lost complete control, hurting himself at times, cause he felt insane, mad. He shook his head to stop his thoughts.

He closed his eyes then looked up at Axelle. He smiled at her words, though she was looking down so she would not see it. He looked at her with a new light. She noticed, she knew a lot more then she let on. He smiled at that, looking her over curiously, but his face remained expressionless. He did not look at her like she was crazy. He looked at her like she was interesting. He then looked away from her, just barely hearing her question, but he caught it, and his body tensed. His eyes flashed to her face then away as he let his muscles relax. He did not answer her question right away. He looked away, down at himself. He looked, but did not see. He was in his head. He had heard voices, that time, it was not like when he had become a cold blooded killer, it was not like when he had become a monster. It was worse, in a way. He had been lost, he had been truly crazy, and he did not want to go back there. He shivered softly, he knew that he could always go back to either of those times. And sometimes he did not know which one was worse. The voices, or the killer. He looked up at her, his eyes hard, a wall up, over the pain. "I..use to. I don't know if I still do. Sometimes I wonder if I do, sometimes I might, and I don't even realize it. But..." He trailed off, trying to think, and then he closed his eyes and turned away.

Axelle Napier · 03-07-2011, 10:51 PM

[html]

SORRY for the extremely late reply 0_0 WC: 357

Points: 3

Itzal’s answer to her question seemed unsure. Nervous, if any. Probably nervous that she would figure out what goes on in his head. She would not judge him. Someone very close to her had experienced the same craze, and she understood the sickness to some extent. The brute before her looked down at his arms. She couldn’t see over the flames at what he was looking at, but he was pretty concentrated on something. She craned her neck to see, but she didn’t see anything from her angle. She gave up and sat back.

There is no need to hide it if you do, though. I understand.

But she didn’t understand. Not totally, anyway. She knew what it was to be on the outside looking at someone who heard them, but she never experienced hearing them. Not once. Sometimes in her dreams she would hear strange voices speaking to her and she would be looking around to see no one there, but this was never in real life. It was all in her head. For now.

She was good at reading other’s expressions. She could tell when another was troubled just by looking at them. She could tell when they were lost in thought, and sometimes even what they were thinking about to some extent. She could tell that some were troubled, like this wolf, and when others were boring. Axelle looked at Itzal through the flames with a serious expression written on her mug.

My father heard voices. It was very serious for him. They told him to do bad things. Bad things to us, bad things to my mother. He even tried to kill me once just because they told him to.

She looked away from him, ashamed at what she was about to say.

I think he poisoned my mother. She died.

She hadn’t ever told this to anyone else. No one. Only she knew of this, and now he did. She trusted he would not blab it to anyone else, but this secret was shameful to her. Her own father murdered her mother because of the stupid voices in his head. Damn them.

Itzal · 03-12-2011, 06:25 PM

[html]

Haha, yours wasn't anywhere as late as mine. It is no problem. WC: 764

Itzal

Itzal winced as he remembered hearing the voices, hearing their sweet, persuasive voices. He remembered hearing them scream, like they were burning, as it echoed around his head and made him kneel on the ground, trying to block it out. He remembered talking back. He heard all kind of voices once, but they had always tortured him, they sometimes told him to do things, he remembered he had listened, but he couldn't remember what it was he had done. There was a wall there, blocking the memories. He had put it up, just like when he had become a killer. But that wall had collapsed slowly, he slowly remembered the times he had killed, as he killed more, but not the insane killing that he had once done. Now he remembered some of the time he had lost control and killed without mercy. But the time with the voices, the deeds they asked him to do, and that he had done, were still blocked. The wall blocking them was strong, so it must have been a terrible time. He did not try to remember, he knew it would bring pain, and it might cause him to go back to that time. He shivered at the thought. He did not realize he had even closed his eyes until he opened them, coming back to the present and hearing Axelle's words. He nodded to himself, still turned with his back to her.

He let out a shakey sigh. "Picking around inside my brain isn't exactly the smartest thing to do. I'm not a good person to try and figure out. I try to live with the basics, never diving to deep into my own mind. My mind is shattered, and there are a bunch of diffrent pieces left. Some I might not even know about. And I'm fine with leaving it that way. You can try and figure me out, but you won't like any of what you find. I'm not a good person. I'm a bad person, and I live with that. I've killed, I've destroyed lives, good ones. I've done what I have to survive, I'm not sure that makes it right, but I can't change any of it now. I don't expect any good treatment. But one thing I have learned, is living with what I have done, and living, knowing I'm broken, is a lot easier if I don't try and figure everything out, and if I don't look to closely at what I am, and what my past has been. You should know all of this before you probe any deeper, because, like I said before, you won't like what you find." He said it in a rush, trying to show her that he knew he was messed up, and that he accepted it, and that he wasn't a good person, and that she should know that before she went any deeper into his head then she thought she already was. There was a reason people didn't trust him, and why people didn't try to understand him. Because he did not understand himself exactly, and because he was broken.

He looked at her, turning to face her, his eyes void of any emotion, his body relaxed. He had closed up, he was protecting himself from what he was. He looked at her and a little. "I don't hear any anymore. I use to, and there is always a chance I will again. I don't hide it, it is just my past is very..complicated to me. And I try not to disturb what is better left alone. And I'm not sure you do understand. You might think you do, but there are something, no one else can understand about you, there are things you can't even understand about yourself." He sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the slight breeze that ran over his fur. He opened his eyes, looking at her and listening to her story of her father's own voices in his head. He nodded sometimes. When he heard her finally words, and saw her look away, he nodded one more time, slowly. "I'm sorry. That is terrible. I can't relate, but I know it was probably hard for you. Messed up things happen all the time in life. They might be wrong, they might hurt people, even kill them. But they happen, and it is better if we accept that, and try our hardest to live through them." He looked at her and did not say anything more, letting her silence the she probalby wanted, and letting her think.

[/html]

Axelle Napier · 03-14-2011, 02:05 AM

[html]

Okay =] WC: 292

A single tear drop fell from her eye and rolled down her nose. She kept her eyes locked on the ground and tried to regain composure. Now was not a time for this. This was about Itzal, not about her messed up family. Axelle inhaled deeply, sucking the rest of tears back into her eyes, and lifted her head to look at him. Accept it? Sure, it’s the best thing to do, but what if I can’t? Then it slipped out, as she looked down at her legs again.

What if I can’t let it go?

The thought was almost a whisper, an out loud whisper. It was low enough that anyone not paying well enough attention would not hear it. Hopefully Itzal was concentrating. She picked up her head from the slump she was in and looked up. She always ran into the crazy ones. I guess they just attract me. She met a few already, and Itzal topped it off. Kemo was bad, but she wondered what this brute was capable of.

Itzal had a mysterious air about him, and it only drew Axelle in more. She wanted to pick his brain and dig deeper, but would that be smart? He already warned her of his past, but she still wanted to know more about him. She always found herself in more trouble than she needed to be in, and it was usually because she wouldn’t leave the matter alone. She wondered if this would be another situation like that. More scars to add to the collection. She looked over at her arms and saw all the scars from the Kemo incident. She had others on her chest, but she couldn’t see them from this angle. Maybe in a mirror.

Itzal · 03-15-2011, 06:10 PM

[html]

Out of Character

Coding by Sie
WC: 573.

In Character

Itzal looked up at the sky. They needed to leave if they wanted to get to the lighthouse. He sighed and closed his eyes. His eyes flew open and he trembled. He had seen people burning, he had seen it in their eyes. Their bodies had been fine, but their eyes, they were filled with fire, as if their very core was burning. He had seen that kind of pain before, that kind of hurt in people. He remember feeling it himself. He pushed the thought back. He did not know why those images had decided to haunt his mind then, but he did not care. He looked her, hearing her soft whisper and grimacing softly. He got up and moved around to her, keep enough distance he wasn't too close to her, but close enough that when he held out his hand she could take it too help herself up, which is why he held it out. He might be insane, crazy, a monster, any of those things and a lot more, but he was still a gentleman when he wanted to be. He still had a grimace on his face, but then sighed and let his face go blank.

"Honestly, if you can't let it go, then you can decide. Either be stuck in the past, never moving, never letting go, or you can learn to cope, you can take the pain in measure, take it as you go. I've heard it helps if you have others to deal with it with you, but I've never really been the kind of person to let others in. I'm a loner, it is who I am, and sometimes I feel stupid trying to force myself to fit into a pack, but I still try. Or you can lay down die, or submit, they are the same to me. You can become a slave to the pain, and let it rule you, let it kill you. I will never," He growled the last word , "do that. To just lay down and submit isn't something I'm able to do. It goes against everything I am and I've become. I might listen to what someone says or something like that, but no one will ever have complete power over me, if any. My pack leader might make me listen, but I will always defy them in myself." He sighed then looked down at her and chuckles some. "Sorry, this is you we are talking about. I'm just very rebelious. Anyways, if you ask me, those are you choices, I can't force you to choice any specific one. No one can, and no one can tell you one is right and the others are wrong. It is yoru choice, only you can decide which ones are best for you." He game a small smile. "We should be going, I'm not use to talking this much, if we push it, I might make my brain explode or something." He smiled at her and kept holding out his hand, giving her the option to take it or not. He wouldn't push her or grab her and pull her up. That wasn't gentleman like, and he wasn't abusive. He only had a part of him that was a cold bloodied killer fight for control constantly. Oh and an insane part of himself that might or might not still be there. And who knows what else. He sighed. He was really messed up.

Axelle Napier · 03-21-2011, 01:21 AM

[html]

=] WC: 209

Axelle sighed after hearing Itzal’s long speech. Why did she let it get like this? She was so capable of keeping the mood peaceful, yet she threw this tension in the air like a ball. And now the ball was floating in the air above them, spinning, and keeping the awkward tension looming over them. She was grateful for his words of wisdom, but she probably wouldn’t follow them. She never really listened to anyone aside from herself and others she trusted a lot. There were very few of those, though.

Itzal came over to her, which made her tense. She didn’t feel comfortable around men to begin with, and now one was coming over to her. One that she didn’t know. She tensed quite quickly, but let her muscles relax when he held out his hand to her. She just looked at it. Am I supposed to take it? It wasn’t the gesture she was confused about, it was a human gesture. She wasn’t fond of many things human. She figured why not, and took his hand. She hoisted herself up with it, and looked toward the lighthouse. She let go of his hand when she turned back to look at him. She smiled.

Are we going then?

Itzal · 04-11-2011, 12:34 AM

[html]

Sorry for the wait, had to take care of some IC/OC drama stuff that was killing my muse. Luckly, it is all solved now. WC: 339

Itzal

Itzal saw the subtle hints of her discomfort when he approached her and he sighed softly. He was use to the reaction by now, a lot of people had it. But he still wished people would not make it so obvious that he made them uncomfortable. It wasn't like he didn't know what he was, a killer, a person to be feared. But it wasn't that he liked being that way..at least not entirely, it was merely that he had to be. He thought about it as he watched her hesitate then grab his hand, as he helped pull her to her feet, he smiled at her softly, one of his real smiles. Maybe they did try to make it less obvious. He looked at her, his eyes scanning her face from under his bangs. She was interesting, and it seems she had taken and interest in him. Though he did feel bad for ranting on before, he probably made her uncomfortalbe. He just didn't realize he had that affect until afterwards. He sighed and then looked at her and nodded.

"Yeah, we should get going. I'm glad you decided to tag along, I could use the company." He turned and looked at the lighthouse, then looked back at her. "Would you like to lead the way, or should I? Some people aren't comfortable with me at their back, so I figured I would let you choice." He grinned softly, to show he found it amusing how that some people didn't trust him enough to have him at their backs. They were probably smart people, but still, he did not believe he would hurt her. Only if he was pushed to too survive. Luckly, he didn't plan on any life threatening moments on this trip. He shook his head to clear his inner babbling. Itzal glanced at her and then at the lighthouse. He wondered which one he was more interested in, her, or the lighthouse.... He figured it was too close to call...at least for now.

[/html]

Axelle Napier · 04-12-2011, 04:00 PM

[html]

Its okay, I had things to get together too Smile FINALLY replying ! Feek free to elaborate on the scenery.

WC: 222

As he pulled her up, Axelle looked toward the lighthouse again. It wasn’t the fact of him being behind her she was worried about. It was the fact that he was a male period. She kept her eyes on the lighthouse and shifted down to Secui form. This way if he were to try anything, she would be in her stronger, faster form. Just in case.

She didn’t exactly know how to get to the lighthouse from here, but she didn’t mind him following her either. She guessed she would wing it; though she would rather him lead. Screw it. Axelle turned back to him with multicolored eyeballs.

I’ll lead. I don’t mind, but if I get us lost we’ll have to switch places.

It seemed like an easy enough route, but who knew what was down there. Would they have to swim partially there? She didn’t mind swimming. Without looking back at him, she began to pad toward the lighthouse and into the trees again. Forest paths were whatever to her since she was a traveler. She was used to these. There were a few logs she had to jump over, but nothing big. She kept padding towards the scent of the sea, not once looking back to see if Itzal was following. She quietly hoped that wouldn’t be a mistake.

Axelle does. "Axelle speaks." Axelle thinks.

Login




Remember me Lost Password?