SoSuWriMo 1,256

In a matter of two days, her life had turned into a living nightmare. In a matter of two, short, days, her world was crumbling all around her. The woman had faced pain before. She had faced uncertainty and fear, but it had never before been like this. There was only one other occasion in which severe harm had come to one of her children and that was when Cambria had been exposed to that drug. That had been horrible beyond words, but at least then she had been able to devote her full attention to her sick child. This time two separate tragedies had occurred and she was being pulled in two opposite directions. Her darling Artemis had finally done what the mother had always feared she would and hurt herself. This was a worse injury than Savina had ever imagined in her worst fantasies though. It was no broken leg or cut paw. Her girl was asleep, and she would not wake. Her heart continued to beat and her lungs continued to breathe, but her bright blue eyes would not open. Neither of her older sisters could do anything to help. There was nothing anyone could do. Nothing.

That had been horrible enough. That alone had brought the Marino woman to her knees. But then, when she finally fell into a fitful sleep due to exhaustion, her young adopted son had fled into the night. Savina had woken to find the note he had left for her and immediately her panic had ignited anew. Denali blamed himself for what had happened. It had been no one's fault, she had not blamed him and was certain no one else had either. Yet he had taken the full weight of the accident onto his shoulders and he had ran, out of guilt and shame. Her first instinct was to run after him. To find her son and bring him safely home, to dispel the nonsense that he was responsible for his sister's unending sleep. But how could she leave her daughter? What if something happened to her while she was gone? Her maternal instincts were split. One yelled you must stay here!, the other cried you must find your son! and her heart could not fully commit to either one or the other. How does a mother choose between two of her children? How?

The Consul told the pack that Denali had run, begged them to go look for him. Even though she knew that they would look for him as well as she could, she returned to Artemis' room and paced back and forth restlessly. A thousand horrible possibilities popped into her head. He was still so young, there was still so much for him to learn. An adult with years of experience could have a hard time living on their own in the winter, much less a boy of only seven months. What if some ill-intended canine or other creature found him and hurt him? He was so small, smaller than even her. A constant stream of tears rolled down her face and the letter he had left was clutched in her hand. She silently prayed to whatever gods that would listen that they protect her boy, that he would realize it was not his fault and that he would come home safe and sound. Then her eyes would rest upon the still form of her daughter. She looked so peaceful, but was she in pain? Did it hurt and she was just not able to show it? So many questions, so many fears, and they were draining her of every last drop of her strength.

Search parties had gone out and always came back empty handed. They could not find him, no matter how they looked and how they called his name. Artemis lay still as death upon her bed, the soft rising and falling of her chest the only indication that life still yet remained in her slim form. Finally the mother could take the internal tug-of-war no longer. She had to make some sort of compromise, anything. Letting everyone else look for Denali wasn't enough. She had to go search for him, even if only for a short time. What if he was waiting for her voice to call to him? What if it was her personal forgiveness that he felt he needed? Maybe if she went, she would succeed where everyone else had failed.

Savina left Artemis in Cambria's hands, kissing her sleeping daughter lovingly on the brow before leaving the house and walking into the unforgiving cold. The Italian fey ran, ran past the borders of her territory. Her nose searched for any trace of her son but she could find none. "Denali!" she cried. Ears strained forward, hoping so desperately to hear a response. She loped a few yards further, in another direction, and let out a long, loud howl into the air meant only for the soul that she had lost. Her voice was soaked in grief and tears began to build in the corners of her eyes as each moment that passed revealed nothing, gave her no answer. "Denali!" The mother called for him again and again until her throat grew raw with the cold and volume and frequency of her pleas. No matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, the only thing she heard was the lonely howl of the wind.

How long it was before she could bear to be away from Artemis no longer she could not say. She did not know how far she had gone other than it had not been far enough. The Marino matron returned to the Dreaming lands with a heavier heart than with which she had left. Each second that ticked by was another grain of hope lost. Foolish as it had been, she had thought that she would find him. Savina had thought that she would see his lithe young body come running towards her out of the empty whiteness, but there had been nothing. Not a scent, not a sight, not anything. Frozen trails of tears marked her face as she came back to the manor and returned to her daughter's room. There had been no change. Still she slept with no signs of waking. Cambria found a blanket and wrapped it around her weary mother's shoulders, but Savina could feel nothing but the cold emptiness and the bleeding of her heart. How had this all happened? Why had it? Her children did not deserve this. They were innocent, they had done no wrong, not to anyone.

In the dark of the night she sat by her silver girl's bedside, keeping watch over her unchanging form. The steady rhythm of her breathing the only comfort for the raven haired fey. Once again she read the crumpled note that had been left for her. It was becoming hard to read, the paper wrinkled and the words stained with tears. Each word he had written made her heart break. Denali was out there somewhere, cold and alone and guilty. The image of his huddled form out in the snow somewhere made the tears come again, and Savina held her face in her hands, soft sobs shaking her slender body. Her hope was disintegrating and deep in the pit of her soul she felt an ominous note rise that spoke of everything she feared. She could feel the wheels of fate turning in that direction, and there was nothing she could do. Nothing, but cry.