kaleidoscope heart

Parker Sadira · 01-31-2011, 02:07 PM

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300+

With the weather being as cold as it was, today Parker decided to stay confined to the warmer areas of the manor and out of the biting wind. She did enjoy the snow, and the simple beauty of a calm winter morning, but she had little love for the unforgiving weather fronts that often moved across Nova Scotia. No, today was reserved for the simple comforts of home. Though she wondered how much relaxation she would get with Artemis still in a coma, sequestered away behind closed doors, and under heavy blankets. They'd all spent hours sitting around her bedside, hoping and praying for some sort of miracle. It pained her to think of her once strong, boisterous sister wasting away in a bed of all places. Parker slicked her ears back and rose from her bed, the fabric beneath her finger tips suddenly repulsive.

She padded across the small room to the door, glancing back only once to check the condition she was leaving it in. The toy lamb that she'd had since she was a small child sat propped against her pillow, battered and beaten, but otherwise intact. Parker knew she was getting too old now to be emotionally reliant on something reserved for children, but at the same time it was a comforting remnant of her childhood. A part of her wanted to take it with her downstairs, and it was that feeling of need that finally won out in the end. Rushing back she collected the stuffed toy, and exited the open door in a fluid movement, taking care to shut it behind her with a soft click.

Standing on the landing, Parker reached out with her free hand to rest it on the aging railing. A worried glance was sent towards Artemis' room, where the hum of hushed voices rose and fell in cadence. She wanted to check in on her, see if anything had changed, but she almost feared the worst. A soft whine tumbled from her lips and she turned, descending the stairs and rounding about to face the fireplace. It was cold, the ashes scattered about by the faintest drafts of wind. The quiet girl wished she had the wherewithal to light it, but she would have to content herself with the silence, and the chill.

A blanket had been draped over the back of one of the chairs. It was tattered, old, but it smelled like her pack. That was enough. She reached for it and shrugged it over her shoulders before settling down in the chair, pulling her legs to her chest, and hugging her lamb tight.

Savina Marino · 01-31-2011, 03:20 PM

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<3! 300+

Savina was still struggling with everything that had happened to her family in the past days. Though her physical state was better than it had been. Silvano had finally convinced her to eat and he had been bringing her food whenever he caught some. The Marino matriarch was amazed at how much her boy had grown and matured since the accident, he nearly seemed like a whole new wolf. The mother was extremely proud of how her son had reacted to all this, but at the same time it made her a little sad. Silvano was still young and by right he shouldn't be having to act so grown up right now. She hadn't been able to keep the cruelties of the world from her newest children for as long as she had hoped. She had never expected something like this though, for something so frightening to befall one of their littermates and then for their adoptive brother to run away. It was a lot for an adult to handle, much less someone their age.

The Consul had been in her comatose daughter's room, as she almost always was these days, but Cambria had returned from Cour des Miracles and now she and Amata were teaming up to make their mother go take a breather. Sometimes Savina might have fought a little harder, but she didn't want to be obstinate against her two healer daughters and quite honestly she didn't have the energy to put up any sort of resistance. Reluctant as she was to leave Artemis' side, the sable fey walked out of the sleeping girl's room and out into the hallway. It was colder out here, and a chill prickled her skin. Had the fire in the common area gone out? That wouldn't do. The alphess moved to walk down the stairs to get the fire blazing and heating the large house again.

When she reached the common area though, a huddle figure caught her attention. Parker was sitting on the chair in the empty room, the fireplace cold, with a blanket wrapped about her shoulders. A sudden bought of guilt washed over the Italian woman, knowing that she had been neglectful of her sweet, quiet girl lately. She walked over to Parker and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. "Hello sunshine," she said quietly.

Parker Sadira · 01-31-2011, 03:42 PM

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300+

Parker turned her attention away from her feet to the ashes shifting silently in the fireplace. Her head was clouded with images of her sister lying still as the stone that held the mansion together, as if she was slowly being absorbed by it. Maybe she was. The three siblings were as much a part of Crimson Dreams as the landmarks that dotted the landscape. Their family had raised it from humble beginnings, so maybe it was only right that Artemis would die in it's heart. Her own suddenly caught in her throat as the shock of her own thoughts betraying her fragile hope almost too much to bear. Parker squeezed her eyes shut, clinging tight to the lamb as she fought the tendrils of despair cutting deep at the very core of her soul.

How could she? With Denali gone, and Silvano taking up the mantle of protector, Parker felt utterly alone. There was nothing to distract her, nothing left to brighten her spirits. The porcelain hope she held for her sister was slowly being chipped away as the days wore ever onward with no sign of change. She wanted Denali back, she wanted Artemis to wake up and laugh again. She wanted her mother to smile. She wanted so much, but could do so little.

Suddenly the warmth of her mother's arms surrounded her, and the rich scent of the ocean greeted her nose. It was too much for Parker. The tears she'd been fighting since coming downstairs escaped in a torrent and she pivoted in her chair to cling tight to Savina's torso with a soft wail. She said nothing, she usually didn't, but her sobs rocked her body as she clung to her mother. If anyone could make it better, it was Savina. But even her mother was weary; she felt the hardness of her bones under her grasping fingers, and the malleable feel of her skin from days of carrying the weight on her shoulders. The lamb tumbled to the floor, forgotten.

Savina Marino · 01-31-2011, 08:20 PM

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300+

It was, unfortunately, easy to get caught up in one's own self when such grief hit. Savina's attention had been so focused upon Artemis and Denali that everything else had becoming blurry in her mind and had fallen off of her list of priorities. She had felt so torn between her two children that that silent war inside of her had consumed everything else. It was really only when Silvano had come to her and begged her to eat that the Consul had snapped out of her little microcosm that she had built for herself. She had, in being so concerned for two of her children, become selfish when it came to all others. It made her feel guilty, and ashamed. Savina was a mother and a leader, she could not allow herself to become so shortsighted. She was not the only one suffering.

The pack was suffering even more now that it had been discovered Anu was ill. Of course the Praetor put on a strong face about it, but Savina worried for her dear friend as well. The tawny woman was no youth any longer. The Marino had never seen Anu as elderly, but the sickness seemed to magnify this fact to her. Would her body, with the help of the care she was given, be able to fight back well enough to return to normal? The fey had never really been around anyone who was sick before, and so she knew so little, and that lack of knowledge was perhaps the most frightening of all. Just like with Artemis, she had no idea what to expect. There was no guaranteed outcome.

Now that she was downstairs, she was glad that Cambria and Amata had forced her out of Artemis' room. She needed to be there for Parker, she needed to be of some help and comfort to her children that she could still help. Her happy child spun around in her seat and clung to her. The sound of sorrow that rang from her voice broke Savina's heart. It was so hard to see Parker so upset, when usually she was such a ray of light. The woman held her daughter tighter, one hand gently stroking her hair. "Oh, la mia ragazza di sole la più cara..." Tears stung at her emerald orbs, but she held them back, kept them at bay for Parker. "I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you more, innamorato." The raven woman leaned down to lightly kiss the top of her girl's head.

Parker Sadira · 01-31-2011, 09:12 PM

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300+

Parker buried her face in the soft fur of her mother's belly while the tears streamed down her face. This was the first time she'd ever cried since her childhood, when skinned knees and bruised pride were the only important thing to shed tears over. But now she was feeling the sinking pit of hopelessness for the first time in her life, and with her traitorous thoughts of Artemis' potential passing, Parker felt like she was letting all of them down. She knew she was her mother's sunshine, her father's sweet pea. But how could she keep going when everything was crashing down around them? This all compounded to create the sobbing mess she was in now.

Her fingers grasped blindly at her mother's back, weaving them in between the soft fur that had given her comfort her entire life. The ocean-kissed woman spoke then, the gentle sounds of her native Italian catching in Parker's ears. They twitched of their own accord, twisting to catch the words and process them properly. Something bloomed in her chest, replacing the raw pain with a sort of warmth reserved for her mother alone. Almost like a knitting wound though she knew it would be a long time before she would recover from all of this. Another sob wracked her body before she was able to quiet them to a series of sniffled hiccups.

The gentle kiss to her crown finally hushed her sobs, and she looked up into her mother's bright green eyes, tears still shimmering in the fringes of her own. "Sto così paura, mamma." She whispered. Scared of death, scared of losing Denali. Scared of her mother's state, and her brother's paradigm shift. Why couldn't it all go back to the way it was? Why couldn't Artemis just wake up?

Savina Marino · 01-31-2011, 10:23 PM

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300+

It was hard to keep hope up when so much time had passed without any change, even for the most optimistic of wolves. Savina's own hope was diminishing with every day that passed, with ever millimeter that seemed to melt off of Artemis' body. She could barely even catch whiffs of Denali's scent inside the house anymore. They had all thought he would have returned by now, realizing that they didn't blame him and that striking out on his own in the dead of winter was too difficult for him. No one had seen hide nor hair of her brown colored son though and she could not shake the ominous feeling that had descended onto her back like a wet cloak. If only Artemis would wake up, then they could all feel a bit more hopeful, and there would be one less worry for the Dreaming pack. Savina was worried, no, terrified that that possibility was slipping through her fingers faster than sand now though.

Parker grasped onto her, held her tight like a lifeline, and Savina let her gladly. Her hands continued to stroke her hair, hoping that she could instill some sense of comfort and calm in her sweetest little girl. She wouldn't let herself make this mistake again. If, gods forbid, anything like this happened again she would be sure to be there for all of her children from the start. Yes, it was important she stay with Artemis, but she could not forget the fact that her other kids were struggling just as much as she was, if not more. Silvano and Parker had never had to deal with such things before. It was her duty to be there to help them through it.

Finally the blond Sadira girl quieted and her face rose to look up at her mother, her pretty golden eyes still moist with unshed tears. One slender hand moved to help wipe the dampness from her cheeks. "Sono spaventato anche, caro." The Italian woman had no desire to lie to her daughter, even if it were a little white lie. There was nothing wrong with being afraid when things like this happened. "We just have to stick together, take care of one another, and hope that everything will turn out okay." They were a family, and they would help each other out no matter what. No one wanted to believe that the worst could happen, but even if it did, they would still have each other.

Parker Sadira · 01-31-2011, 11:52 PM

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300+

The fear that gripped her now was much in the same nature that her mother was feeling, too. But her mother was bearing the weight of it all with a heavier heart than all of them. It shown dimly in the fractured edges of her brilliant eyes. She had to care of all of them: her family, her children, and her entire pack. Though, in Parker's eyes, they were all family. Every single wolf that pledged loyalty to the Dreamers was then absorbed into the collective. Her heart was large enough for all of them, and was expanding every day. But these crippling blows, first from Artemis' fall, and now Denali's disappearance, were fighting hard to crush her. She just hoped she could continue to fight it until something happened. For better, or for worse.

In some way, the blond girl was reassured in knowing her mother also feared the dark lingering in the corners of the Mansion. But even so, she also felt a sudden sting of concern. Her steadfast mother was just as worried, just as frightened and scared as the rest of them. While logic would have told her that this was normal for any family member, Parker had put Savina up on a pedestal of sorts. Something like a guardian, just like her father. As faultless and strong as the stones. But the Marino matriarch was just a wolf, and with same full breadth of emotions as the rest of them felt. She knew how precious they all were to her mother, and Parker could not even imagine the pain if she lost even one of them.

Even so, Parker still believed in her, above all else. She nodded at her mother's reassurance, and lowered her gaze as she rested her cheek against her mother's stomach. There was so much left to say, but she could not form the words on her tongue for all the fog clouding her mind. Her eyes were focused on the fireplace for a long time, until finally she spoke, "Siamo tutti qui, ancora una volta. It is enough." She whispered with a hesitant certainty. Her family was together, all of them, and that would be enough to fight the dark.

Savina Marino · 02-01-2011, 01:09 AM

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300+

It was true, all of the Dreamers were family, by bond if not blood. It was really the opposite of the pack that the Marino had grown up in. Aside from their small little family, everything and everyone in Monti Sabini had seemed so cold. Maybe if they had been more "acceptable" it would not have seemed that way, but the moment Amata Marino had become pregnant outside of mateship she had been the lowest of the low in their eyes, and her illegitimate pups by the same token. Savina had never realized how distant and cold her birth pack really was until she had come here though, and experienced the community and closeness that Crimson Dreams fostered. It was one of the reasons she was proud to be a leader of this pack. It was special and that uniqueness was even more apparent in these trying times.

It was normal for pups to raise their parents up to almost godlike beings, impervious to the flaws and faults of most mortal beings. It was likely only magnified in her childrens' minds due to the fact that she was the alpha. Such illusions could only last for so long though. Savina was no god, and had no desire to be either. She was simply a wolf. A wolf who loved her family with every inch of herself and who could crumple under the weight of things gone wrong. Since the day of the accident, she had allowed that weight to suffocate her and distract her from everything else that was important. Now she was like Atlas though, pushing the weigh up so it could no longer crush her. It was still there, but she knew she had others to worry about as well, like Parker.

As her girl rested her face against her stomach Savina softly stroked one of her ears, feeling the short, soft fur. She truly was her mother's ray of sunshine. It was difficult for even the sun to shine in the dark and deep of winter, but it would always return, one way or another. A gentle smile reached the woman's face at her daughter's whispered words. They were all together again. Amata and Gotham were back and that certainly helped. "Sì, it is enough." It was always good to do something instead of nothing when the dark pressed around, and tired emeralds looked back down at her girl. "Shall we make a new fire? I'm sure that will help everyone." Keeping the Manor warm was important and perhaps it would make Parker feel better to partake in that crucial task.

Parker Sadira · 02-14-2011, 05:10 PM

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Sorry for the wait on this. Been a stressful two weeks. Hope you're mom is home safe, or will be soon! <3 300+

A gentle sigh billowed out from her parted lips as her mother brushed her gentle fingers over her ear, an age old act of affection and comfort. Parker drank it in, and felt the stress of the day evaporating from her tensed shoulders. Somehow everything would be okay in the end. Maybe it wouldn't be the same, and maybe it would hurt a lot more along the way, but it would inevitably be okay. She had to believe it, for her mother and mostly for herself. It was doing no good trying to take the weight of it all off her family's shoulders in her attempts to fix it in her own special way. This was the winter of their lives, both outside, and inside the manor; it, too, would pass.

At her mother's suggestion, Parker made a small sound in her throat and slowly disengaged from Savina's embrace. It was hard to part, but she felt even that much better knowing that there were times when she could well and truly turn to her family for help. As difficult as the idea was, the blond girl just had to sully herself with the knowledge that she was not strong enough to deal with it all herself. She leaned back into the chair and looked up at her mother, nodding in agreement after giving the notion a moments thought.

She slipped off the small chair to stand on sturdy legs. Though she'd only had the full use of her Optime form for a few short months, Parker had mastered most of her basic motor skills within the first few weeks. She was a nimble creature, and dexterous enough for her needs, but no where near the optimal skill level for a fully-fledged adult. Still, she turned and padded over to the fire, grabbing a small log from where the wood lay stacked beside the hearth and placed it neatly in the pit. Their stock was being depleted at an alarming rate, but Parker gave it little thought as she assumed it would be easy to go out and gather more in the coming week.

Picking the flint up off the mantle, she turned to her mother and offered the small implement with a small frown. She was eager to get the fire going again, but had no idea how to actually work the tool to get a spark.

Savina Marino · 02-26-2011, 07:53 PM

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It's okay! Mom is doing quite well, thanks ^^ <3 300+

None of them were strong enough to get through this alone. Savina certainly wasn't. The woman could not imagine having to go through this alone, without anyone to lean on. She could be bad about accepting or asking for help at times, but she was doing better with it now. The mother did not expect her other children to deal with this on their own either, and it was her own fault that she had not been there for them as she should have. It shamed her, but she could only move forward and do everything she could to help them now. Feeling Parker relax in her arms did something to soothe that guilt. Marinos were a strong breed and could often consider themselves an island in times of crisis. The truth was more akin to a chain of islands though, all connected under the ocean's waves.

At her suggestion, her daughter made a soft noise and pulled apart from their embrace. Those bright eyes made of sunlight looked up to her and the matron's smile became more true. She doubted she could look at those eyes and not smile. "There's my sunshine," she said, a thumb rubbing the girl's pale cheek. The notion of starting the fire again was accepted by the Sadira girl and she stood and grabbed one of the logs, placing it in the hearth. For a moment or two Savina stood still and watched as Parker moved about the room, taken in by her natural grace. It was still hard to believe that she was already so grown up, but it was impossible not to beam with pride that she and Kansas had given birth to and raised such a wonderful soul.

The Dreaming leader walked over to join her daughter at the fireplace and took the flint that the girl handed to her. Savina gave Parker a reassuring look and knelt down in front of the wood and kindling and began to strike the flint, making sure that the young wolf could see what she was doing. It took a bit of time, but finally some sparks caught and the seeds of the fire were planted. Savina carefully blew on them to encourage their growth and then sat back and watched the dancing oranges, yellows, and reds. "You know, it was not that long ago that fire still scared me, and I had no notion of how to start one myself." Now it was hard to imagine life without the element.

Parker Sadira · 03-09-2011, 06:18 PM

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I suppose we can start wrapping up now? Couple more rounds should do it, then we can have a more up-to-date thread. Also, I am a slow daughter. x_x

The tool was strange in her hands; unwieldy, really, as she'd never taken the time to learn how to spark the hearth into existence. Maybe it was because it seemed to burn constantly and consistently. In fact, as she thought about it, this was one of the few times it had ever gone out in her times spent by it. Even when everyone was out and about, there was always those coming and going, and they often checked in on it as they went about their everyday business. It brought a smile to Parker's face thinking of all the wolves that encompassed the grand majority of her family in the Dreamer land. It was them that she would be strong for, if not for herself first.

Savina soon came and gathered the flint from her outstretched hand, and set to work creating an ember. Parker watched her mother's actions intensely, noting the way she struck the tool at an angle to scrape off a spark onto the kindling. It wasn't an instantaneous process, but the quiet girl understood how the process worked, and within a few minutes they had the start of a fire again. Her ears perked as what was once a tiny flicker soon began to spread across the kindling, lips pulling back into a grin as she watched it take a firm hold. The smoke didn't cloud their faces, and rose merrily up the chimney as Savina worked the tiny embers, encouraging them to catch fire on the dry wood.

She then turned her attention on her mother, who confided in her the truth of her former aversion to fire. Parker nodded and was quiet for a moment, before deciding to speak up. "Fire can still be scary in the wrong hands." The smile she offered her mother was a clear indication that she felt perfectly comfortable with Savina's prowess in the hearth, as well as those who lived in the Manor.

300+

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Savina Marino · 03-12-2011, 11:09 PM

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Sounds good to me! Big Grin Mebbe, but you ish a good daughter <3 300+

The flint was certainly more difficult to use than other means of starting a fire, such as matches, and not as fast either. Flint required patience and a certain small skill to make the tiny sparks it gave birth to into an actual flame. It worked well enough though and she had enough practice that it didn't take too long before they had the start of a new fire glowing. The Consul definitely preferred matches, but she did not carry any around with her as her mate did. Most of the time there was no place on her person to store them since she did not wear clothes aside from her coat in the winter. Also the only time she ever really needed a fire was right here in the manor. Perhaps if Kansas had an extra pack of matches they could put them down here on the mantle and just use the flint for back up. That would be easier, and faster. Such pragmatic thoughts had not occupied the alpha's mind in some time, and it was nice to have something simple and mundane to focus on for a change.

It was comforting somehow to watch the fire grow and flourish with her daughter. Maybe it was that "phoenix from the ashes" imagery that it brought to mind. If they could bring the fire back to life then there was still hope for Artemis. She had been doing her best to try and be more hopeful and optimistic about the whole situation ever since her talk with Kansas, and the visit Silvano had given her the other day. Savina couldn't let herself be consumed by the dread of what might happen. She just needed to take it one step at a time, as it happened. They all did.

Her childhood and upbringing had been so very different than the one she had made for her children. Well, aside from the ever-flowing love that she gave them, just as her mother had given her. She still wished so much that Amata Marino could have been around to meet her grandpups, but Savina liked to think that she could see them wherever she was now. Maybe she even helped to protect them at times. The woman looked to her young daughter as she spoke sagely and smiled back at her, both in agreement of her words and in happiness. "Venire qui," she said, motioning her daughter closer with outstretched arms. They could sit here, in front of the life-giving fire, and leave all the darkness back in the shadows for now. The two could bask in the warmth and light, even if only for a little while.

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