heard terabyes of perfect pitch.

Kaena Lykoi · 03-27-2011, 04:37 AM

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Date: 27 March

Setting: Far east Ethereal Eclipse

Time: Early afternoon

Character Form: Optime

Word Count :: 398 Big Grin

This was not a place the silver-shaded coyote generally visited. She avoided the areas near Halifax, and attempted to avoid the other packs in general. However, she had been spending quite a lot of time within Inferni as of late, and she was honestly at a loss as to the status of most of the other packs. She had taken nearly the past three weeks to meander about the territory, spending a few weeks camped in the center of the Dampwoods, occasionally returning to Inferni. Most of her days had been spent slowly meandering close to the packs, inspecting from a distance. She remained respectful throughout this, keeping herself far away from their borders, and yet she steadily gathered information, bits and pieces of knowledge to make Inferni safer, stronger, better. There were many scouts she might have designated this task to, but Kaena was curious to see for herself.

The silver-shaded hybrid planned to now move her camp southward into Ethereal Eclipse, spending the next few weeks inspecting AniWaya, Crimson Dreams, Cour des Miracles, and Cercatori d'Arte. They entertained a neutral relationship with Crimson and Cercatori, and were friendlier with AniWaya and Cour des Miracles, though the hybrid woman did not know their new leader by name or face. He was, of course, only new in the relative sense -- the silver shaded coyote could not approximate a time frame when Jacquez had departed. His presence seemed almost inconsequential in the grander scheme of what had happened in her life around the same time.

Having discovered a suitable enough area for her to settle as camp, the hybrid set about settling her things down. Thievery was uncommon, and the coyote did not think much of leaving her things around for all the world to traipse over if she went away for the day. Her green canvas sack was tied to a small section of frayed rope and tossed up over a tree. It would be easy enough for any Luperci to get the pouch down and root through its contents, but the coyote was more concerned with other animals attempting to get at her possessions. When that was complete, she settled down against that very same tree, reclining her back against its hard bark, her long legs stretched out in front of her. She figured she deserved something of a break, at least for a few minutes.

EchoWolf · 03-27-2011, 08:58 AM

Thanks <3

IC: The lone male had been moving across endless plains after loosing Moonfyre at the Halifax. For days, it seemed the male had no idea where he was goiung, but he knew he was far from home. Indeed, this would be a major problem if he wandered too far into another pack's land, and if he did, it would probably mean the end of his life. In order to avoid that possibility, the male continued searching for the scents of other wolves. Eventually, the lone male gave up on his search for home and rested near to the center of the Damp woods. He truly had no idea that he traveled more than 30 miles. Suddenly, another wolf's scent passed through Echo's noze... He turned towards the direction of where it came from, wondering who was there...

Kaena Lykoi · 04-07-2011, 06:25 AM

Gonna separate out my comments for you up here so they're easier to read. Big Grin

Definitely run your post through a spell-checker -- Firefox has one built in, as does Microsoft Word and Open Office (free alternative to Microsoft Office). You can also go through plain old Spellcheck.net or many other spellchecking sites. ^^

Length and description is one area you could work on -- reading your post, I'm left wondering what exactly happened to Moonfyre. I can go read the thread, of course, but if it gives you something to write about! Maybe Echo regrets not doing something differently, and he can't stop replaying the scene in his head. More detail about how exactly he feels about this would be good -- I'm not sure if Echo is happy or upset about losing Moonfyre. Did Moon try to trick him, making losing him a good thing? Or was Moon Echo's way to get home, explaining why he's lost? Try to tie the post together a bit better with more detail about the backstory.

Physical description is also a good way you can lengthen your post some -- describe the forest as Echo is walking through it. There are probably tall trees, low bushes, and a bit of snow still clinging to the ground in very, very sparse places, though it's warming up very quickly through April. It's about 42.1 degrees Fahrenheit (5.6 degrees Celsius) -- check out the Area page and refer back to it often to see what the temperature's like. :3 Check out the territory descriptions when you're going to post in a specific area -- here's the description for Ethereal Eclipse!

Also, if Echo is near the center of the Dampwoods and Kaena is to the far east of the Ethereal Eclipse, they're veeeery far apart. X3 Make sure you check out the map -- it's a long, long way between their two points, and the Dans l'Obscurité forum where we're posting are where Ethereal Eclipse is located, whereas the Dampwoods are located in the Élévation Orientale forum. :3 I'm gonna assume he's a bit closer to Kaena than what you stated in the post. ^^;

These are just things relative to roleplaying, but -- try to read the other player's post for clues as to where their character is and what they're doing. Kaena was in a clearing, settled up against a tree -- might have made for more interesting interaction if Echo simply showed up across the meadow for her, if he was downwind of her? :3 Now we've got to spend a bit more time getting them closer, as I'm still playing some distance between them. ^^;;

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Word Count → 376

the sun will never shine on this cold dead heart of mine

Kaena was on a mission here. Scouting was not her métier, certainly, but she had been shamed and she wished to prove herself useful. It was convenient that scouting the other packs would bring her outside of Inferni, and the hybrid woman had not hesitated to take this chance. She was not too old to fend for herself for a week or so, after all -- she was still a rather successful hunter, and even if she could not bring down mammalian prey, there were fish just a stream or lake away. After a few moments of rest, the hybrid stood, stretching herself out. She had not spent much time around Dahlia, and she wanted to see how they were doing -- most of her attention during the time spent in the Dampwoods was dedicated to Anathema and Phoenix Valley.

Heading back the direction she came, the hybrid soon came across the scent of another canine, her russet-shaded muzzle, now grizzled and silvery, twitched, following the zig-zagging path with amusement. It seemed someone was terribly lost -- there was a faint scent of fear here, and the meandering direction of the scent path had caught her attention. There was another scent, fainter still but familiar to the old hybrid nonetheless. AniWaya. This one was rather far from home, and she squared her shoulders, muttering something incoherently under her breath about how if this stranger got terribly unlucky and wandered too close to Inferni, Hybrid would make sure he wouldn't get lost again.

Soon enough, the a flash of timberwolf in the distance caught the hybrid's single eye, and she walked more slowly now, moving toward the stranger with caution. Her scarred face certainly would not be a beacon of hope to many, she knew that -- still, she at least knew which direction AniWaya was, and her good relation with the pack and its leader very nearly obligated her to turn him around. “You're a bit lost, hm?” the coyote inquired, stopping some yards away from the male. Though she trusted Dawali and his description of the pack as a peaceful place, there was wariness in her still -- it was a man, and a stranger. Haku had made sure she carried that fear always.

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EchoWolf · 04-11-2011, 02:58 PM

ooc: Thanks Kaena <3 Once again, I thank you for taking the time to help me through these well done posts of yours! And I never knew of all these links... Souls, indeed, is probably the best RPG I have ever been to. Amazing! And about my posts: I do have a built in spell checker in google chrome! :o And well.. Moonfyre and me never ended the RP. D: So, I had to fake a conflict where Echo and him were separated.

ic: The male was quite alarmed by the sudden appearance of the lone-female. She seemed quite war-like, and her deep scent seemed to give a quick hint that she was no low-ranking official of whatever pack she came from... Indeed, this was not someone who Echo wanted to encounter. But who else was there to help him? Quickly, the male replied with deep feel of respect and fear towards the female... But something was different. She seemed fearful of him as well... "Yes," replied the male. "I am in need of help from someone... You see, I lost my friend at Halifax, and I am in serious need of some assistance."

Kaena Lykoi · 04-16-2011, 12:34 AM

No problem at all, my friend! Big Grin

It's what I'm here for, anyways -- thank you for being receptive to criticism and willing to work toward improvement. It's much appreciated! <333

If you haven't already checked it out, the RP Guide would probably be a great place for you to check out. It's really extensive and intended to be used as a reference material for you to check back in on while roleplaying, so definitely make use of it. ^^ The writing section is particularly awesome and helpful.

For the thread with Moonfyre -- I'm not sure if you knew, but Moonfyre's player currently plays Axelle Napier. You can send her a PM and ask after the ending of the thread, if you'd like to determine a concrete end. :3 Playing it as if they were separated definitely works, though -- it doesn't assume anything of her character or powerplay Moon in any way, and allows you to keep going with that general storyline here. Big Grin

You can strengthen the description and display of his emotions a fair bit -- for example, "Quickly, the male replied with deep feel of respect and fear towards the female" -- you can add in that maybe his ears were pinned back or his tail was tucked low, both signs of submission/fear in wolves. Or maybe describe the tone of voice he uses -- probably soft-spoken in this instance. Smile

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Word Count :: 317

She did not recognize this stranger. The hybrid had spent but a night in AniWaya what must have been a lifetime ago. The coyote herself could scarcely remember the instance. It had to have been before the fall, before Haku -- everything before that event seemed almost hazy in comparison, as if life had come to a sharp, brutal head that night. Indeed, in a way, it had -- the hybrid had avoided such abuses for nearly a decade between Kairo and Haku, and it seemed cruelly appropriate she would come full circle.

The wolf spoke, and she had guessed correctly -- he did not seem to be injured, and she could not imagine what she could help him with -- she had not been to Halifax and she would have avoided the area completely, given the opportunity. One return, guarded by three other canines, had been quite enough for Kaena. At his words, the hybrid's ears twisted forward, one whole and the other ragged and torn.

Her single eye regarded him for a moment cooly, her scar-laced expression revealing nothing. “Kaena Lykoi,” she said, relenting -- she hadn't sought him out to gawk at him, after all. “What can I do for you?” she asked, figuring she would be asked to direct him home, or perhaps lead him there. She eventually intended to seek out AniWaya anyway; it would be very nearly helpful for her to head there first, as it was most distant from her small encampment.

There was no nervousness in the hybrid as she awaited his response; from appearances alone, she did not think he posed a threat to her. Physically, he was likely a match for the old woman, but something in his forlorn gaze seemed kindly. Though neither Kaena nor Inferni considered AniWaya an ally, Dawali had shown her kindness, and spoken of a peaceful tribe -- she trusted his word.

EchoWolf · 05-01-2011, 09:46 AM

occ: <3333 Aww, tysm. <3 And ty for the advice! Bad new btw, might not be on for...maybe even over a month. :/ If I don't reply in like 3-4 weeks, please add me on the absent list. Q_Q <3 Ty. I WILL try my best to reply. <333

IC: The male's ear twitched at the words of the she wolf... This was not the sort of behavior he was expecting. She seemed almost as if she was sympathetic to Echo. And she also didn't seem like the type who was going to tear the male into pieces. This did boost the male's morale. He remembered many tales of innocent pack mates slaughtered by simply trespassing the Inferni. After about a moment of silence, the male replied to the female's question. "Yes.... Uhm, I am sorry for wandering into your territory. I lost a friend of mine days ago, and continued wandering off. Please help me return to the Aniwaya."

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