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It had been a long while since she had entered the Victorian home. Cautiously she pushed the front door open, not having entered since long before the storm had disrupted them so severely. Many repairs around Dahlia de Mai had been needed and Nayru wondered if anyone's home had been spared. Conor's hadn't and she knew that he and the others had sought alternative shelter while roofs were being patched and walls put back up. Still she couldn’t help but come to see what remained. All in all the destruction wasn't too awful and she was strangely pleased to find her former room completely undisturbed. The plain bed and empty desk stood where they had, and Nayru couldn't detect the scents of others. Perhaps Range or Melee had claimed the room for themselves but had needed to evacuate before they could mark it as their own.
Closing the door, against ghosts and other wanders, Nayru moved through the rest of the house. The common rooms, the library, Gideon's bedroom. Memories of warmer months and happier moments floated in and out of the rooms as her eyes darted here and there. Once spring was fully sprung repairs could be made in earnest and it wouldn't take long to make the Victorian home a buzzing center point. Conor would move back and the others, those he took in and gave shelter to, would follow. Bris would return, Nayru reasoned this, and soon the rooms would be filled with the all encompassing energy that had originally driven Nayru to the eastern edges of Dahlia de Mai.
This was the reality as Nayru knew it, no other explanation could be possible. Even if Gideon moved out towards her, as they had spoken of so long ago, others would come and take his place. As some had taken her's. It was a natural cycle that Nayru couldn't see being broken, not with Conor in the center of it all. Thoughts of the male turned her steps towards his door, uncaring that the door was shut fast because no one was inside these walls. Not now.
And then there was the noise. On the other side and it made Nayru's gentle footfalls stop right outside, her hand on the knob. Fingers grasp the brass handle and it was when the noises continued she turned, flinging open the door and eyes widening in surprise. Her voice was barely audible as her lips rounded in a surprised circle. "Oh!"
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He could not fathom how he could have been such a fool. Nothing had ever been all right, but he had insisted on pretending to live in this beautiful fairytale world. But no, this life was not for the likes of him. Demonic creatures did not deserve happy forever after. The house that had been his home for so long would never be so again. Dark paw prints soiled the pale floor and had been the last straw. It ate him up inside. There was no point trying to escape from the inevitable. He regretted it had taken so long before he had turned to face reality.
The night before he had rubbed dark ash against his soles before he had closed his eyes and gone to sleep. Gabriel had been right, and it had shattered the walls he had hid behind for so long. When he had wakened, he had learned why he could not gather energy. This was why he never felt rested. The reason was very simple, for he did not sleep. And when the door opened, the man was caught by surprise. Conor followed no plan, and was following impulse. There were a few things he would want to bring with him, and then he would be gone. Darkened lavender fixated on the girl that was his sub-leader. He was a horrible person for putting her in this situation, and had hoped to avoid confrontation and leave her only a letter of some kind. He did not wish her to see this.
Chest heaved with his stress, and he turned away from her, continuing to rummage through books and items, tossing useless things away as he sought for something useful. He could not even meet her gaze now when he knew that he was a beast. ”You shouldn’t have come here, Nayru,” he mumbled, as if to himself. She shouldn’t have come here.
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"What are you doing ?" The words came out strained, almost silent in their struggle to question the unquestionable leader. It was clear what was happening. Individually the actions, the words he spoke, his face... it all meant nothing standing alone but together they painted a very terrifying picture. Ruby gaze darted from the items discarded on the ground, the utter disregard for his once loved living quarters. And to the small pile of items that had made the cut, items to be kept, to be transported to another life. If this was routine, if he was only moving them to another home within Dahlia de Mai than there was no need for the palpable strain between them. There would have been no need for him to turn from her and tell her that this was not a sight for her knowing eyes. If this was innocent than an audience would have been welcome. Why was she so unwelcome just then? Why did that horrid stone of anxiety sudden swell up in her stomach?
The girl thought of turning. Thought of leaving as he had requested more with his manner than his words. And she almost did so, because who was she to barge in on Conor Soul? Yet her unsure feet stayed glued to the spot, blood colored eyes never leaving the man's back, which he had turned to her. Surely this was not as it looked. Surely there was another explanation. Something she did not understand. And if not, then it was all the more imperative that she stay. That she question. That she call to reason this small moment of madness between them. She was the Gamma after all, he had placed her there. Surely with her next words she wasn't doing anything more than the job he had appointed her, guardian of Dahlia de Mai. "What are you doing ?" Loud and clear and so out for character for the soft spoken fairy child. "Where are you going ?"
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What was he doing? A very good question, and he did not want to search for answers that could please his newly promoted gamma. Everything was so horribly wrong, and he knew that she would not understand, so why even bother to try to explain? His mind was no longer the calm, endless ocean of tranquillity that it once had been. Everything inside him had come undone, or so it seemed. Two years of hard mental work had crumbled to bits. But perhaps it was a good thing that he could not hide behind his denial anymore. He had always known—always felt the corruption behind his skin. But did a madman ever realize the truth of his flawed nature?
”I can’t stay here anymore, Nayru,” his voice whispered, the words hurting him as surely as they would her. He turned to her, though it was one of the hardest things he had ever done. How could he look anyone in the eye after realizing what he was. A freak of nature; everything he had never wanted to be. When would he turn on his own people? When would his control be lost forever? He was not his father reborn, but he was the devil’s son, and the father’s sins reached out through him. No, he could not allow this to happen! He would not!
Hesitation had seized him now, but he could not allow himself to soften. He did this for the ones he loved. They did not have to understand. It was surreal to abandon a life he had believed to flawless. It was tempting to stay, but by doing so he was certain he would doom them all.
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That he answered so quietly softened her. Nayru could feel the pain radiate off him in waves. Felt it in herself, eating away at her core. And yet, how could she accept this? Grant him forgiveness? He was leaving! That should never have been an option. And so soon after Saluce had up and left. Was it so easy to abandon those one loved? Nayru wasn't going to make it easy, even though she knew, ultimately it was not up to her. She could only stand in his way, a white and black road block that eventually would wear away and the path to freedom would be clear. Even knowing this, knowing that his word was still law for as long as he remained here and she would have to step aside if he requested, the woman with blood eyes stood as tall as her small stature would allow, blocking the exit of the doorway.
"Why? Why can't you stay here? " Ruby eyes were hard, searching the man up and down. There had been be a damn good reason, for Nayru could not think of a single one that would suffice. There were plenty of excuses she could have used to leave. She hadn't been born here, not like Conor. She had no immediate family here, unlike Conor. Her family had even come and tried to beckon her away. Yet she remained, and if she could why couldn't he? " What are you running away from? " What indeed? Because it seemed, by his hurried packing and unsettled speech, he was truly running from something.
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