let it go
#1
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July 15th . 8pm . Naiades Lighthouse . Optime Form
peeerdy table by rose <3


It had happened again. He'd found Wretch's broken body, just outside of Ichika, two days ago. The panic and terror had threatened to overhwelm him as he'd gathered her up, secure but trying his best not to jostle her leg. It had been a horrible day, waking up early and finding that on his doorstep. But he'd worked through the panic to bind her leg, able to set it much better than the last time. By some miracle, whomever had attacked her had broken her leg in the same place that it had been broken last time and the healer was able to set it properly this time. Wretch would have no pronounced limp this time, unlike her previous experiance. It had, undoubtedly, set off hundreds of questions in his mind. Has she really been thrown about by the sea, or had someone attacked her when she was a pup the first time? If someone had attacked her the first time, was it the same person as this time? Were they all at risk? Did they belong to a pack, and if so, did they bare ill will towards Ichika? So many questions buzzing around in his mind that he had no idea how to deal with them. He couldnt sort through them logically, it was impossible.


He'd left Cerne Rise a few hours ago, still trying to figure out what was going on. Wretch was once again confined to her bed and it pained him to see his half-daughter locked up in this way. The stairs were too dangerous for her to move around without risk of falling once more, so once again Saul had to carry her outside for everything she needed. It was an odd and rather awkward arrangement, but it worked. Work on the house was getting underway, although Saul still had to climb out into the roof to put the tiles back on. He'd found some relatively unharmed waterproof roofing sheets from another house and had transferred them over so that it was secure and watertight. At the moment though, he felt the weight of it all dragging him down. He felt as though he were the only one doing any work on the house at all, and it seemed he was right.


Escaping it all seemed his only hope and the male moved towards the shoreline. He could see the lighthouse not too far away, and it seemed he was meant to go out there. Without thinking about it, the male stepped into the surf and began swimming towards the lighthouse. As if the sea washed away his thoughts, he reached the lighthouse empty headed and peaceful. It was a strange experiance. Pulling himelf ashore, Saul paused on the outcrop of rocks that he had found. Looking back towards Ichika, the sun set behind him, he pulled his knees up to his chest and rest his head on his crossed arms. He was stressed out and he knew it.


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#2
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Your table's stretching the board, sugar. Can you fix that up as soon as you can?


The life of a leader was what Jefferson had warned him, though to a much lesser degree in stress. Jefferson had ruled Phoenix Valley independently, with no underlings no co-leaders that could assist him in any way. Razekiel knew the old man had preferred it that way in order to stay on top of everything and always in the know. Razekiel, of course, was much less concerned of such things. He respected and acknowledged those in the tier above the Specialists, like Saul whom he had observed to be quite active in Ichika's first few weeks of business and activity. Nayru, of course, worked alongside the red-faced coyote, and did as fine as job at it as he had expected of her. Jefferson may have warned the coyote that leadership was not his style, but Razekiel had no problem with it. He was an advisor and a friend. That was all he wanted out of it — and to see his dream flourish, of course, and it was.


So despite Jefferson's warnings of constant leadership business and whatnot, the coyote found himself often idle and without many responsibilities needing immediate action. As before, the Seiryu spent much time by himself, either in his hut or by Lark's company. Faces came to visit, sometimes, but most of the pack still hardly knew him. He did not blame them for not stopping by, but knew they would come to know him soon enough.


Razekiel commonly went out of his way to meet them, but perhaps today was not one of those days. Docked at Naiades' Lighthouse was a float of tied wood and a makeshift oar beside; they had been pulled ashore and left there unwittingly, abandoned by the peaceloving idiot who had wandered over with their aid. For some time he had wandered the lighthouse, always in admiration of it, especially after the months' span since he had last visited, long before Ichika no Ho-en had been founded. The coyote, bursting with song, moved from the building's innards with a dance in his step and a joint in his teeth; influenced or not, he spied the Stormbringer at the shore and lit up visibly.


"Well!" he exclaimed, arms opening as he sauntered to the Hui'Ko's side, unshaken by the clouds of emotions he walked through as he drew near and plopped down beside him without second thought. "Even with your name, I did not think you could bring such storms to those eyes, man. You look real bummed, man, out of the groove."

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#3
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Ah yes, I saw it when i first posted and asked rose to resize the tables... i just forgot to edit the new size back in <33


Green eyes looked back at the lands he had just come from with a certain peaceable demeanor to him. He was still trying to figure out what had happened to Wretch that night- Gideon had found nothing when he'd gone back to see if he could catch a trail. Wretch couldnt give them any more information it seemed and the whole mystery was beginning to wear on the male. It was nice to get away from it all, to come out here and look back at the life that he had created for himself. While most of the time he revelled in the chance to do something, to fix something or help someone, there were times when he felt completely isolated from everyone, as if he were out her completely on his own, doing it all by himself. Of course, when he looked past the weariness of the past couple of weeks, he saw clearly that Gideon had been there helping him, as had Eclipse and Siku and Wretch. Range had been a huge help in clearing the common room and making it something they could use. Of course, the young Soul male hadnt thought that Saul would use it as an impromtu surgery, but it couldnt be helped.


So lost in his thoughts, the male didnt hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Words jolted him just seconds before the dark male plopped down beside him, univited but not unwanted. He provided a distraction at least. Saul listened to the males queer way of speaking with an amused smile. He always seemed to have a way of talking that confused Saul, but at the same time he was completely understanding of what the male wished to convey. For in this instant, Razekiel could see clearly that something was bothering the young male, and he had asked, in an indirect manner, what was wrong. "Good evening Razekiel" Saul chuckled in returned, before the subtle roll of his shoulders displayed his uncertainty. "Not bummed, per say. There's just a lot on my mind is all" He defended himself, although there was really no need for the defense. He wondered if Razekiel had heard of the attack to his daughter, wondered if the carefree male knew that while Ichika strived to make good relationships with other packs, other packs perhaps weren't so accomodating. He chose not to speak of it for the moment however, turning back to look at the red faced coyote.


"Do you hang out often in the lighthouse? This would be my first time visiting."


He chuckled, glancing back up towards the massive structure. Despite the years of neglect, it remained tall and strong. Saul wondered who had built such a structure, how they had made it to withstand the destruction time wreaked upon it. He also wondered how far one could see out of the top of it, whether they could see the mountains clearly from up there. He remained quiet, waiting for the male to begin again with his backwards way of speaking that Saul was beginning to find rather amusing.


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#4
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Out of character text here.


Whatever thoughts plagued the Stormbringer male were not immediately brought to light, and at that Razekiel only smiled and nodded. There would be hours, days, weeks for the former Dahlian to warm up to him — after all, the coyote was a Lykoi with countless strong ties to Inferni, the clan that Dahlia de Mai had actively warred with not once, but twice. The Seiryu had kept this in mind during the formation of Ichika no Ho-en, believing himself to be playing a bit with fire yet wickedly entertained by the lack of burn in reciprocation.


"A lot on your mind, you say?" The coyote tilted his head horizontally, nearly resting ear on shoulder as he grinned nonchalantly through rose glasses and marijuana smoke alike. "Your shoulders are sagging like a thousand birds are standin' and shittin' on them."


Ah, now what had he meant by that? ...Oh, right, like Saul's thoughts were so heavy they were weighing his shoulders — yeah, that's what he meant. I think. What were we talking about?


He puffed gingerly from the joint a few times, then breathed the smoke through a toothy grin. "I'd be real cool with chilling here more often, man, to be right and true with you. In the prehistoric days — y'know, before you groovy dudes moved up here — I used to crash in his pad for weeks and weeks, man. Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, suns— ah, man, I'm getting all washy just thinking about it!" He wiped at a tear that may or may not have actually existed. "You find peace here, yeah? Some pause from the pondering?"

image © Sean R @ Flickr ; table by lin
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#5
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apologies for the wait dearest<33


The swim over here had done wonders in washing away a lot of what was dragging the male down. He had yet to master the arts of inner peace and everything else that seemed to come so easy to others- he didnt yet have the foresight to tell himself that things that cannot be changed weren't worth the effort of worrying over. He still felt as though he held the weight of the world on his shoulders, constantly worryiing about the welfare of his growing family, but also that of the rest of the pack. It was a hard position for the male to fall in with- while he was a natural worrier and thinker, he didnt have time to see everyone, speak to everyone, on a constant basis. It just wasnt possible. Razekiel's tones made him look up and smile softly to the male. He was amusing at the best of times and Saul comically looked at his shoulders with interest.


"I see no birds, but you have an interesting outlook on my troubles." He chuckled softly, shrugging his shoulders as if to rid them of these birds that were weighing him down. Saul was a more practical man that Razekiel and he didnt often look for other ways of expressing himself. But the red masked man seemed to have found something out there that eased his troubles, if he ever had any worries at all. Saul glanced to the left as Razekiel puffed of the joint he'd had hidden. Saul had never tried marijuana and didnt have the gumption to try now. Still, he imagined Razekiel spent a lot of time with a joint in his mouth and perhaps this was the reason he was so laid back. Saul paused and listened as the male spoke once more, chuckling softly as he wiped a tear from his eye.


"It is very peaceful out here, especially having to swim over. It reminds me of the small island off the coast of Dahlia... My brothers and I picnicked there once..." He paused then, unsure where the memory had jumped to the forefront of his mind. Still, it was a happy memory and a grin slipped over his lips. "Where did you come from, Razekiel. I've heard of many Lykoi's in Inferni, but you seem nothing like the rest of them." Saul commented, thinking of what he'd learned of the two wars that had broken out between Dahlia and Inferni. Had Razekiel been involved in that? Saul doubted it.


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#6
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Saul spoke of an island back in Dahlian territory, a subtle hint that perhaps he was struggling with the pack transition as well. Razekiel said nothing on the subject; the coyote had witnessed a number of other Ichikans who missed their old homes and could not yet see Ichika no Ho-en as a place worth their residency and attention as individuals. Razekiel was hardly worth "leading" them, either, but he would keep those comments tight under wraps. The coyote would not yet expose himself as too weak a leader, although most had already figured out his methods were not usually that as a charismatic beacon of leadership, but as a friend and mentor who only sought the best for those around him. Perhaps he was following in Jefferson's footsteps, one way or another, though he knew the cyclops would kill himself knowing a hippie was trying to imitate him.


"I suppose I am from Inferni's core," the Seiryu considered, scratching gingerly at his chin. "Most of the Lykoi family are my neices and nephews or half-siblings. My old woman founded the place, man, and I was one of of her litters born there — and trust me, there were a lot." A bubbling, gurgling giggle. "I was like them once, many many seasons ago. Maybe I hit my head or the Great Mother revealed herself to me in some other worldly fashion, and so here I am."


A shrug. "I called that firepit home for a long time, man. My oldest daughter is one of its leaders. My blood is tangled in Inferni's... but I suppose that is part of the reason Ichika was founded. If they seek another chance, perhaps they might find it here."


Pulling the joint from his mouth, he exhaled a long cloud of smoke and turned straw eyes to the Stormbringer. "And you, Stormbringer? You were one of Nayru's most trusted, if these memory banks serve me right."

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#7
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<33


Razekiel began to speak, although Saul caught the scratch to his chin that perhaps portrayed his uncertainty. Saul hadn't ever been told who commited the crimes against one another in both of the wars pertaining their two home packs. Aside from Haku and Gabriel, Saul was unsure who had been involved in the fighting. And therefore he had no idea if Razekiel had once attacked his home. Thinking on all he knew about Razekiel now, it was hard to imagine him summoning enough energy to attack another wolf, let alone another pack. But perhaps the Razekiel Saul knew now was nothing like the Razekiel he had been in Inferni. It still surprised the male to hear Razekiel admit that he had been like them once. It was a hard image to place over his pre-concieved image of his red masked leader.


Saul nodded softly, feeling no need to comment on his own account of what his early life had been. It was clear he still loved his family, his comments about Ichika perhaps being a second chance for some of them. And Saul thought about his own family, which he had no idea was rather large for he had never been told the history of his family, and how so many of them had left him. Ascher and Shiloh were gone again, Dreyrugr had left them so long ago it was hard to remember his father ever being there. His mother was dead and gone and his aunt was just as absent. But he knew, deep down, that if any of them returned, there would be a place in Ichika and his heart for them. He understood exactly what Razekiel spoke of when he mentioned second chances.


"Why did you leave them? Was it difficult?"


He asked quietly in the pause Razekiel left open. He didnt have much time to think on what the male said though, for the red masked man asked him about his own life. There was a lot to tell her guessed. With a smile, he nodded softly. "I guess you could say that. I worked hard for my position in Dahlia and it pleased me greatly that Nayru trusted me enough with the position she gave." He paused, thinking back to what he knew and what he'd been told. "I was born in the Dawnrunner pack- a secret litter between two packs that hated each other. My mother, Abigail, had tried to reach my father before our birth to inform him, but my grandmother stopped her. She gave birth to us in her own mothers prison-pack." From there the details were hazy, but he tried to collect them. "She fleed the pack with all four of us, intending, I expect, to come to Dahlia and find Bris, my aunt. She was attacked and killed trying to protect Gideon from being malled by her mother." He spoke softly, trying harder than he ever had before to remember those events. He'd simply been too young to remember what had happened. "A lot of moving around after that, a few weeks in Dahlia and then my father came to claim us. Gideon stayed behind... I got lost in a storm and spent two months returning to Dahlia. I was half dead by the time I found the borders."


Those months he could remember well- travelling in what he hoped to be the right direction, trying to find food when he was too young to know what to do. Slowly realising that he was starving and exhausted. And then the weeks and months after Bris had found him, the constant hunger and the odd looks when others saw his malnourished body. Nayru had been the one to give him food, the first day she had seen him after his first departure. It had been a good relationship since then. "I recovered with time and found all of my siblings, they returned not too long after I found my way back. The snowstorm proved to take them from me... and now its just me and Gideon." He concluded with a sad shake of his head. He didnt have the heart to admit that there was more than just he and Gideon. There was Melee and Range for a start, and Nayru. There was now Siku and Wretch, there was Eclipse. One day, there would be more of them. But for now, he felt alone.


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#8
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For some time Razekiel did not answer the first query that hung in the air. He had been asked it once, twice, several times before, and yet the coyote still did not fully know how to answer it. Family meant more to him than anything else — the loss of Storm Lily and the separation between he and his children still brought an ache to his bones and stomach — yet the prince had left the Lykoi stronghold behind. As he had done so many times before, the Seiryu questioned in his mind if he was still truly a Lykoi, still a child of Kaena or the brother of Samael. He was nothing like them; he had abandoned their midst in leaving Inferni behind. He had left countless extended family behind, just like that.


Fingertips tightened on the joint as he pulled it from his lips. Was Ichika no Ho-en no more than a replacement family? Was it to be a brighter, more peaceful version of the blood-oriented clan of his birth? That had never had been the intent. No, he never desired another Inferni, good or not. Ichikans might be a family, if they desired it so, but they would never create themselves a fortress of reputation nor a family line of spiraling twists, turns and incest to keep it alive.


"It was not on purpose," he said sagely. "I was lost in the mountains during a snowstorm, and then did not go back."


It must have been obvious enough to Saul that Razekiel did not belong there, even if he had been a monster of blood and deceit back in the days of his youth. An inseparable pair he and Samael had been, a duo in their dirty work. It was a shame the two brothers had since divided so widely in motive and personality. The Seiryu chose not to mention more on the matter, and thus left the mist of ambiguity thick in the air with little concern.


Razekiel listened with a twisted ear as Saul began his story, the coyote nodding at points and seemingly drifting in and out at others. His attention was never lost, and not a word missed his hearing; thanks to the marijuana clouding his system, it was as if the Stormbringer Hui K'o spoke at half his normal speed, which allowed for the Seiryu to consider each and every word and browse various thoughts of his own without losing a second of the story. A strange one, Razekiel was.


"They say there is a curse on these lands, just as there was in my charred birthlands, far to the east," the coyote said, leaning left to scratch his ass. "'Those who leave will eventually return,' man. Like ghosts to their graves, the wanderers will always come back... should death not find them first." He himself was the prime example, a man of great travels and former membership of a number of packs, yet he had returned to 'Souls land once more.

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#9
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<33


Silence lapsed between the two males and Saul was content to let the coyote think on the questions he'd asked him. It was always difficult to explain your actions, whether they were intended or not. Perhaps it had been a rather rude question for Saul to ask in the first place and if Razekiel didnt answer him at all, the young male would know that he had stepped a boundary. Saul thought of his time separated from his family- he hadnt chosen it. And he didnt imagine Shiloh and Ascher had intended to get lost in the snowstorm back in February. His lost siblings had spent nearly half a year on their own, or together, he didnt know. That was perhaps the worst thing about them being lost- he had no idea where they were, whether they were still alive, if they were together, or who they were with if they werent. It was frustrating to the male, not knowing what was going on. He was dragged from his reverie by the red masked males words.


"Like Ascher and Shiloh..." He murmered, before glancing back up at Razekiel. "Do you regret not going back?" He asked, figuring Razekiel had answered his first questions. He could always just refuse to answer the question if it was too hard for him to answer. Razekiel seemed to spend a long time listening to Saul's story as he spoke, nodded and grunting in equal parts to show that he was listening and understanding what was going on. There was a certain pause between the end of Saul's words and the beginning of Razekiel's. What the male said however, completely surprised Saul. He expected something along the lines of 'don't worry, man, everything happens for a reason' or something along those lines. Instead he got the assurance that his family would return to him one way or the other.


"I guess you're right. While they don't know about Ichika, they have to pass through here to reach Dahlia's old lands. I'm sure I'll find them." He said, feeling just a little more reassured than he had a few moments ago. Did this mean that Bris would return to them aswell, at some point. With Eclipse practically orphaned because of both her parents absences, Saul had taken over guardianship of his cousin until she was nine months old, which really wasnt that far away. He chuckled softly, pushing his hand through his dark hair and shaking his head softly.


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#10
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The names of the lost were released into the air, and with a long an deep breath the coyote silently prayed the Mother might stretch her arms, reach to them and guide them to the path home. The man wanted to assure Saul further, to give him more hope, but the coy could not find words appropriate. He might have admitted how astounded he was that all of his surviving children had somehow found him and found lives in his midst, but it seemed too much to reveal just yet. To give the boy too much hope could be condemning.


"A little, perhaps," he shrugged, breathing the last embers of his joint before dipping it in the shallow sea to extinguish it. "I was real jazzed to find out my big girl was headin' the fort there, man, keepin' watch over ol' Gabe and my old lady. She's real smart, that Sage, just like her mother!" The stub of the joint extinguished, Razekiel did not dare litter the Great Mother's sea with it, and so it was almost natural for him to toss it into his mouth and eat it as if it were candy. "She was with Clover and China, too... I would have stayed for my girls, had I known they were there, but now I got other stuff to pay attention to, yeah?"


He smiled innocently. Saul was still young, much younger than he. Had he found the gift of parenthood yet? "You're not grooving the love train like your brother and my Nayru, are you?"

word count → 000 ;; image © Sylvatica ;; table by lin
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#11
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<33


Their quiet conversation was doing the male good. He was usually always on his feet, always doing something. It was sometimes enough to overwork his brain, and a relaxed conversation like this was doing his brain good. Of course, they were dealing with some heartfelt subjects, but the silences between their words was enough to slow it down enough to feel peaceful. Saul glanced at Razekiel from the corner of his eyes, making up his mind that despite the oddity of their situation, he quite like the coyote leader. He saw a lot more of Nayru, but that was because she was his brother's mate and she lived in Cerne Rise. It was good to speak to another male of higher authority than himself. He admitted to regretting leaving Inferni with a soft roll of his shoulders. Saul let the subject go, allowing that part of their conversation to drift back to the shore. Razekiel continued, telling Saul in no uncertain terms how proud he was of his daughter Sage.


"Have you seen much of her since you've been back? Or of any of them? As you say, you've got other things to pay attention to."


He asked, wondering how often her saw his daughters. Saul was approaching the age where he would be able to have children and he could feel the desire in his guts, to procreate, to see his children and to help them grow up. It would be a long time yet, but Saul wanted to be a father. Of course, there was Wretch. But she was almost grown herself, despite her dependence on him since she'd washed up on Dahlia's shores. There would come a day when she no longer needed him and he dreaded that day. Razekiel ate the end of his joint, which turned Saul's stomach but he swallowed the revoltion. Razekiel was an odd one and Saul wouldnt judge him for it.


He wasnt fooled by the males innocent look, but he also felt a little shocked as he asked about Saul's relationships. Deep down, Saul was very jealous of Gideon and Nayru's relationships. He thought he had the same thing with Siku, but more and more she was so distant with him that it was hard to discern whether anything would ever happen between them. A self conscious grin washed over his face as he shook his head softly. "I thought I was... but Siku has been so distant these days. I hardly see her at all." He admitted, but there was more to it. "I can't help feeling wanting more as well. Siku was a good friend in Dahlia, and she's a good friend in Ichika. But is that what I want? A good friend? I don't think so." He offered back, warming slightly at the personal turn the conversation had taken. It felt good to admit it though and he left it at that, running his fingers over a blade of grass beneath him.


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#12
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goddamn hippie XD

"I spoke with Sage recently, maybe a month ago," he said, smiling as a gull cawed and drifted down beside him. It landed on the side opposite of Saul, clearly comfortable with the Seiryu's proximity but not the Stormbringer's. Razekiel smiled, scratching gently at its head. His breath reeked of marijuana, worsened all of a sudden, but thankfully the stench was for the most part lost in the salty breeze. "She and the girls are in Inferni. Still there, as far as I know. One of these days I'll groove on over there and visit the old place." A pause. "She said my son Micah is around as well, but I'm not bettin' even the Mother can lead him to his old man happily."


Razekiel had expected a stint of jealousy from Saul over his brother's successful relationship, and still guessed there was some animosity present, but the Hui K'o did well in hiding it. Regardless, whether there was jealousy or not, the desire was certainly present: Razekiel heard the passion in the boy's voice. The Seiryu felt his stomach twist, and at the end of the Stormbringer's words, the coyote sniffed and wiped tears from his eyes.


"Beautiful!" he gasped. "Such passion! Saul, any lover of yours would be a lucky one!" For a moment, the coyote pulled his bandana from his mess of dreadlocks and batted at his eyes. More notably, a few hidden, premade joints fell out of the bandana and spilled over his lap. He didn't seem to notice. The seagull stared up at him a long moment, then promptly took off thereafter. "If I were not a ladylover, man, I would love you all night and every night, I promise you! Such passion, dear Mother!"

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#13
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hehe, shall we finish soon? <33


Razekiel answered, confirming that he'd spoken to Sage, whoever that was, recently. Saul was glad to hear that he'd spoken recently with his children- it was a damn site more than what Dreyrugr had done. Saul couldnt remember the last conversation he'd had with his father, let alone the last time he'd seen him. If he thought long enough, he would probably come to the conclusion that he had last been in Dreyrugr's company when the male had tried to take three of his four children back to the Stormbringer pack, which had gone disasterously wrong. Saul glanced up to see a seagull join them, and oddity in itself. He didnt want to startle the bird so he left it alone, instead listening to what his leader had to say. "At least you know they're safe and happy." Saul concluded for him, nodding softly as if to confirm his point. He didnt know whether he would have wanted his father around anymore- he was certain that if Dreyrugr turned up to take control of his brood, there would be an uprising or something of the sort.


Saul was lost in thought for a moment, but he was dragged forcefully back as Razekiel exclaimed in response to his words. Green eyes danced with mirth as the male spoke again, complimenting him perhaps. It was an odd choice of words from another male, but there was no doubt in his mind that Razekiel was an odd sort of character. In Saul's mind, he reminded him of a very odd and very eccentric great uncle, swooping down to bestow great knowledge upon his charges, before returning to the mist wence he came to do whatever it was that odd family members did. Saul watched as he dragged the bandana against his eyes to mop up tears, a chuckle racing from his lips at Razekiel's words and actions. "Why... thank you Razekiel..." He murmered softly, completely unsure of how to answer him.


It would be his luck that Razekiel wasnt finished. Saul allowed cinnamon backed ears to dart down against his head as the red masked man continued, proclaiming that if he wasnt into women, he would be in to Saul. Thrown completely out of his depth and in uncertain waters, the male remained silent a tad too long. He had no idea how to answer the male, although he knew that it was perhaps time to leave him alone. "Ah well, its a shame I'm into woman as well..." He mumbled before standing. "It was good talking to you Razekiel... I'll see you around." He said with a smile before jumping into the water and heading back towards the mainland once again.


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