Joining WC:657

The noon sky was a clear blue, with some small clouds drifting lazily across the it, in this warmth it was unsurprising, no-one seemed to be wanting to move very quickly, even the leaves on the trees were moving only when they were forced by a particularly persistant and stubborn breeze blew against it. The trees were filled with twitterings of excitable birds, there did not seem to be many taking flight though, they had the sense to stay in the shade of the leafy canopy above them, keeping cool perched in the branches of the surrounding trees. The grass was green and luch, small flowers popped their petal covered heads from the cover of the surrounding green stems, little flecks of blue, purple and red dotted around the emerald ground.

The ebony fae was walking, taking long strides towards Crimson Dreams again, the presents for Mati were still in her leather satchel, the paintbrushes she had found, a full set, she had been so proud of herself and had guessed from her granddaughter's paint speckled fur and fingertips that she would like them. Soran had realised how perfect they would be for her, she would delight in them she was sure, she dearly hoped that they would not be tainted by the fact they came from her, she so wanted to have her granddaughter think of her with fondness, she hated the idea of being disliked by anyone who shared her blood. She hoped that this present would go some way into showing that she did care about her mottled brown offspring, that she had taken note of her interests and wanted to be involved in them, to encourage them, to help her skills flourish.

But seeing Mati was not the dark lady's only goal today, she had decided it was time to settle down and find a home for herself. She had been wandering too long now and she needed some stability in her life. Where better to go than to the lands that she had once lived in? She had considered going to live with Naniko, but then there would be no chance of getting to know her grandchildren or great grandchildren properly, they seemed so distant from their mother and grandmother, the fae feared that she would create a further rift between them and herself if she had chosen to go to Anathema and stay with her pale almost daughter. Here at least she would be close to her blood, Mati lived here and Haven and his pups were only just across the lands, less than a day's walk away, this seemed like the perfect comprimise. It was true that Nani could not, nor would not come back here, but the emerald eyed lady could always go and visit her if she so chose, Nani would not mind her going to visit her she was sure. This place had been the ebony lady's first home when she had come to these lands, it was the place where she felt closest to her missing son. It was the perfect place to set up home. Plus there were old friends here, she would be able to setlle better than anywhere else.

And so the lady came to the borders of Crimson Dreams, she brushed her long curled mane over her shoulders, taking a small strand of it and twisting it around her fingers nervously. Her eyes roamed the lands, making sure there was no-one nearby before she called for someone, she didn't want to deafen a nearby wolf after all. With a quick glance down she decided that she looked acceptable, perfect for a meeting with someone who could decide whether or not she would be allowed to stay. The ebony lady pushed her satchel further up her shoulder, and then raised her head. She let out a single loud clear call and then she began to wait, hoping someone would come and meet her.

WC: 562 Well hello there, was going to tackle you for a thread actually, so this has worked out very well How're you?

Soran was getting nervous, she didn't know what was going to happen, she was unsure as to who would meet her here, what if it was a stranger who would only see her for her age. They would not know how she played the flute, how she could fix an injury, well a physical one at least, she was good at stitching and fixing bones and the like. They would not know how she had once been in charge of hunting for her old pack, that she had a lot of experience to give, she had lived a long time now, she had gained a lot of knowledge and understanding of the world around her, she felt she still had a lot to give despite her age, she had managed to survive this long on her own afterall, she must have some talents hidden somewhere inside of herself. She didn't want to come across some youthful upstart who would laugh at her, assuming that she was nothing more than an ageing female simply wanting somewhere to stay for the cold winter that was approaching, someone who didn't know her at all. She had survived the frozen North all by herself, she had raised pups, she had loved, lost and survived, she felt that she was a valuable asset to any pack she might find herself in. She had even had leadership experience, Soran felt that she could give good advice and help to any that came across her. Well in certain fields at least, there was plenty that she didn't know about as well.

The ebony lady sighed, thinking of her family, wondering if Mati would be the one to greet her, it would be nice to see her young granddaughter again, that was part of her reason for wanting to come back here, she wanted to build a bridge with her reddish offspring, the dark lady wanted her to know that she would be here for her if she needed her. It had not been that way always, but she was trying to start now, she wanted to be better than she had been in the past. So it was with some elation when a dark figure began to appear, finally the wait was over, no time for nerves anymore. And then a spark of realisation crossed the fae's mind. She knew the female walking towards her, she remembered her. A smile spread to her dark lips, she raised a shy hand to wave at the ebony female walking towards her. It was her mirror image again, it was funny how many wolves she had met that looked like herself, Lucia had been the most recent addition to the black wolf with green eyes collection that Soran was amassing in her head. She had been a sad female, but she had been so similar to Soran herself that she could not have helped but like her. But here she was, the dark female that Soran had known in the past, she had considered her something of a friend.
"Hi Savina, it's good to see you, how are you?" The ebony fae replied as Savina spoke to her, she could not help but be happy to see her younger mirror image, it had been such a long time and it was good to be greeted by a friendly face at the border.

WC: 868 I'm good thank you, OOCly real life has been filled with lots of drama, but it's not to do with me, more to do with my friends, so I'm trying to be a good listener and keep my temper at bay lol. Rp-wise I have some good plot ideas bouncing around, which should be fun Sorry I've done some rambling here XD

The ebony lady couldn't help but feel glad to see Savina, it was good to see that she had stayed in the lands, that not all of the ageing female's friends had departed. It was good to see that when she had left everyone seemed to have gotten on with their lives, that life had gone out here without her. Not that she expected everyone to fall into a deep period of mourning at her going missing, she doubted many had even noticed, but she was glad to see that other's had made good lives for themselves here, remained in packs, built their own families and lives here. Soran was expecting this meeting to be awkward as it was Savina who was meeting her here, the dark lady and Soran's own pale daughter had been good friends once, but that seemed to have changed. The way Haven and Mati had reacted to Soran suggested that something bad had happened while she had been gone, something to do with Nani she had no doubt, the fae would not have moved from her old home without a good reason, she suspected that she had not left willingly. There was something wrong with Naniko, she knew it, she could feel it, she just couldn't put her finger on what it was, there was something wrong, but the pale lady would not tell her what it was, there was something suspicious going on though. She expected that Savina would know something that her elder mirror image did not yet know, something that Nani was keeping from her almost-mother. There was a tension in the air that was tangible, although the young Consul was being plesant, the older fae expected that there was something odd going on.

The news that the winter had been tough was not a surprise to the dark female, she expected that there had been a lot of happenings that would have occured around that time. Working out that Nani had left the lands for a while before starting Anathema suggested that whatever it was that had happened could have indeed happened in the Winter. Savina's scars suggested that whatever the exchange had been, it had not been an amicable one. The ebony fae's thoughts were disturbed by Savina speaking again, her ears twitching towards the sound, her gaze moved from the obsidian lady's scars back to her face. How had she been? Well that was certainly a question for the dark lady to mull over... life had been better after all, but it could be a lot worse.
"I am well thank you Savina, though a lot has changed since I left, something odd is going on I think, it's taking a little while for me to adjust." Soran replied earnestly, Savina had been her friend once after all, there was no point sugar coating anything to the green eyed Consul, she would no doubt find out eventually anyway. Besides if the dark fae mentioned that she knew something odd was going on then perhaps the younger fae would tell her what on earth was wrong with Naniko, why any mention of her seemed to set Mati and Haven on edge, what she was hiding from her mother.

"I'm here because I'm looking for a home within a pack, if I'm honest, I've done a lot of thinking and travelling, I've already visited Haven, he seems to be doing well, I'm a great-grandmother now you know. And I have seen Mati on my travels, I came by here looking for Khaden or Dhalia, I wondered if they had come home to these lands. And I've seen Naniko." The onyx fae paused her, licking her lips nervously, she just knew something had happened, but what she did not know. "I am certain there is something strange going on with her, but I cannot help her, not if I'm a member of her pack, she wouldn't listen to me if I were her subordinate. As for Haven, he seems to have his life in order, being a father and a member of Cour Des Miracles. So I thought the best place for me to make my home would be here, so I could be close to Mati. And of course this used to be my home, I miss the old house if I'm honest." Soran explained carefully, deciding that it was best to be open and honest and explain the reason for her descision, it was all true, there would be no helping Nani if she saw her as a lesser rank, and Haven didn't need her for anything more than a visit now and again. She would have loved to be around her great grandchildren, but she didn't want to intrude, she didn't want to force her presence on them too much, she would let them decide for themselves whether or not they wanted her in their lives, though she hoped more than anything that they did. This way she could stay in a familiar home, close to Haven, close to Mati and not too far from Nani, it would just be a couple of days walk, she could go and visit and give advice if it was needed.

WC: 1420 Yay I are a member Just a quick question about the game that's going on, where am I permitted to start my post counting from? Just cos I wrote some monsterously lengthed posts in some of my current threads, but I no wants to cheat... I'm guessing no back dating? Or is it ok? The RL drama sucks, I'm dealing with many heartbroken people and a very angry boy... but it's getting better I think Hope there's no RL drama going off with you!

The ebony fae was glad to be back int he lands, her heart was warmed simply by the proximity of the house, it had been her home just as much as the Syemv manor had been, she had many happy memories there. Of course they had now been tainted by the actions of her son, he had committed terrible crimes that would forever leave a tarnish on the dark lady's memory of him, she still loved him, she could not help it, a mother's love was unconditional and as unchanging as the sun rising and setting, but she was still unable to forgive him for what he had done, what he had put Naniko and the pack through, what he had asked his dark mother to do. She had never told anyone but at his lowest point Conri had asked Soran to kill him, she had been unable, despite how disgusted she was with his crimes, asking her to do that had broken her heart into hundreds of pieces, it had dregged up memories of Rokus... That was one of the reasons that the fae had left, she could not heal such a shattered and damaged soul when she was so close to the one who had broken it, even if he was her son and even if he did love her. It seemed that Naniko would be forever tainted in her mind as well, judging from the look upon the black Consul's face at the very mention of her name, it seemed that her pale daughter had committed some awful crime as well. The dark fae trusted her new leader well enough to know that she was not an unreasonable creature, she had been angry at Conri, but that was completely justified and now it seemed her anger had turned to Naniko. The obsidian lady wished she had never left, perhaps she could have prevented whatever had happened from happening, or at least done something to heal the pain that her red son and pale daughter had created.

As Savina began to explain Soran felt as though her stomach had dropped away into her feet, it was a feeling as if she had just fallen into a deep pit, a sudden longing to take back the last day came to her, drugs... that was too much to bear. The older lady had been a drug addict herself in the past so she could see why Naniko may have turned to them for comfort, the dark female had turned to them after Summer had died, having found that backpack filled with heroin in the abandoned station all those years ago. She had almost lost herself to them as well, enjoying the way they numbed the pain, removed any ideas of Summer dying and how she had herself betrayed her by sleeping with the very male that had murdered her. It had not been until she had discovered she was pregnant that she had kicked the habit, it had been the most difficult time of her life, her bones had ached, her skull had pounded, but she had come out the other side and had a beautiful son to keep her focused on staying clean. Though she was certain that the drugs were the reason that the other four pups had died, three of them being born dead and Maeve being born so sickly that she had died so soon after. And now Nani was pregnant and still poisoning herself and her innocent unborn pups, suddenly Soran was furious, her ears flattening against her skull, a small growl of fury escaping her lips. How dare she? How dare she?! Surely she knew the dangers? Surely she knew what she was doing to her own body and to the bodies of the pups who had no choice but to take whatever it was that was pumping itself into their systems. She understood why she was no longer any friend of Savina's any longer.

The ebony lady's fury was fueled further still when Savina explained what had happened, it was true it was an addict's mentality to refuse responsibility, but even Soran had had the sense to hide the drugs from anyone who might find them and hurt themselves with them, and once she was clean she had destroyed them, weighting the bag with rocks and tossing it into the deepest part of the sea that she could reach from the land. The idea that Naniko, her formerly sweet, loving, caring daughter had put another's life at risk, let alone a child made the dark fae's eyes darken, and just for a moment it was apparent that beneath her soft and friendly exterior there was enough steel to arm a battalion. But as quickly as it had come it disappeared, her ears returned to their normal position and her eyes lightened again, she nodded as Savina spoke, smiling as the fae said that she could stay here once again.
"Trust me, that girl will not be coming here, not if I have anything to do with it, I cannot believe that she put anyone in danger, let alone a child. I cannot pretend that I am not disgusted with her actions, believe me Savina, she will be given a talking to that she will never forget should I see her again, and I will make it clear to her that she is not welcome to visit me here, I do not want to cause tension within the pack, especially if your daughter is still living here." The ebony fae said sincerely, almsot spitting with fury and disgust, no wonder Naniko hadn't told her what was going on, she knew the wrath she would be receiving if she did, even if it did come in the form of a concerned motherly lecture.

The mention of Mati made Soran smile though, so she had found love, that was wonderful news, all she wanted was for her grandchildren to be happy, to find someone to care for who would care for them in return, she just hoped more than anything that they would allow her to share in their joy and be a part of their lives. So she was mated to Savina's daughter was she? My how things had changed, it had been barely a blink of the eye to the ebony woman since Savina had been such a young thing herself, pupless, and since Mati had been a tiny ball of brownish red fluff, carely able to string a sentence together.
"That's wonderful news Savina, I am glad that Mati has found someone to love, and with your daughter as well, I did not know that you had had children, when on earth did all of this happen?" The obsidian lady asked with a smile, she was genuinely pleased for Savina. Though thinking about this made Soran think of her youngest litter, still in Dayna's pack, she could not blame them for wanting to stay there, it was their home and all that they had known all their lives, she had told them enough of Crimson Dreams that if they came looking for her they would find her though, she had even left them a map of the lands. And her children had the sense to come here first, knowing that the pull of her old home would be enough to have the ebony lady at least visit often. She hoped that they might decide to come and see her soon, she missed them so, but it had been their own choice to stay, she could not make it for them, they were old enough to know their own minds now. And they knew that if they so wished they could come and see her, come and live with her whenever they wanted.
"Do you realise that this union makes us in-laws Savina?" The lady asked with a chuckle, a very sudden change from how she had been just moment ago.
"Thank you so much for letting me stay here, I shall try not to mention Naniko to any of the members here, I do not want to cause any unnecessary pain or heartache. I know it will take a while for Mati to warm to me, it has been a long time and I have been far from the most wonderful grandmother, I am just hoping that she give me the chance to make up for it now." The lady said, a wistful sigh escaping her lips, a physical sign of her longing.

WC: 1239Thanks for clearing that up, I assumed that you meant the whole of this thread? Also I have posted in our roleplay aides topic claiming a room, have I done it right? Just thought I better check with you.

The ebony wolf could not believe what a fool she had been, she had been concerned with the way Naniko had spoken to her, the way she had said that she was going to raise better pups this time, Soran had always assumed that the rift in the family had far more to dow ith her pale daughter than with her grandchildren, but now she knew for sure. Her heart ached as she realised that she didn't know Nani anymore, she still saw her as the tiny white ball of fluff that she had been when she was a pup, quickly zipping about the place, playing with the ebony lady's red son. She still saw the pair of them as her babies, as tiny creatures, so full of innocence and life; they had both betrayed her once they had become adults, that broke her heart, it was so sad. The pair of them had had so much promise, lives ahead of them, lives they could have filled with happiness and love, they had thrown that away in their own way, Soran could not forgive either of them, not after what they had done, but she still loved them, it felt as if her heart was splitting in two, torn between filled with fury for what the pair of them had done, and love for them, the result was that her dark ears drooped, the hoops in the top of her left ear glittering as the light hit them, her tail drooped as well, a small sorrowful whine escaping her dark lips.
"I'm so sorry I left Savina, every time I do I come back to broken hearts and shattered dreams, I don't think anything would have changed had I been here, but perhaps... just perhaps I would have managed to help, been some comfort to you and Naniko... I might have been able to do something, oh if only." The dark fae said, meeting the other female's gaze momentarily, but she had to look away, she felt too guilty about the whole thing, she blamed herself.

Soran perked up and began to smile as Savina spoke her pups, pups were a blessing, she was so pleased for her, it was nice to see that not everything that had happened whilst she had been away had been terrible. It was so good to see that there had been some happiness, some joy within the packs since she had left. She smiled even further as the female noted that they were now in-laws, the ebony female was glad that she agreed that that was a good thing. The ebony fae had also had another litter since she had last been away, she had had five pups in total, although one of them had been born dead, her little Rayen, her little ebony girl, it had been a very sad occasion burying her, just as sorrow filled as when she had had to bury the dead of her other litters in the old lands, there was something in losing a child that was more painful than could ever be described. But there was such joy in her young pups that she could not think of them with anything but happiness.
"Two litters, my word things have been changing since I have been gone, so I take it Mati's mate is of your older litter? I had a litter whilst I was gone actually, they're almost a year and half old now, they grow so quickly don't they?" Soran said, a much more cheerful demeanour replacing the one of sorrow and regret which was quickly becoming a trademark of the dark lady, an unfortunate truth in the fae's mind, she didn't want to be this way, it was just so many terrible things had happened that she was finding it difficult to push the sorrow away from herself. Time would heal the wounds she supposed, except for those made by Conri perhaps, those were too deep, had they been physical she would have needed stitches, or else she might have bled to death from the open chest wound. It still felt that way to the fae, despite so much time having passed, her heart still felt like lead everytime she thought about it, it was still a physical pain.

She smiled though as the fae said that she trusted her, it was quite an honour to have her new lader declare that so readily, that was something the ebony fae had been expecting to have to earn all over again, needing to prove that she was still a valuable asset to a pack and a good, trustworthy friend. It seemed that Soran had by passed this when it came to Savina, something which made her very happy to hear.
"Thank you Savina, your trust means such a lot to me, I am glad that I am welcome back here once again, if the truth be told, having lived outside for two years I have been longing for the old house again, I have missed sleeping indoors." The lady said with a soft chuckle, smiling at her younger mirror image. The lady's head dipped slightly as Mati became the subject of conversation once again, it made her sad to think of their exchange, her red granddaughter had been far from happy to see her grandmother, the dark fae could not blame her, given what had happened since the dark lady's departure, but she could not pretend that it still did not hurt. She did not expect a sudden rush of love between the pair of them, to fall into a routine as if they had never been apart, but she had hoped for more than she had been given, she had expected to be allowed a chance to explain, she wasn't prepared to have to fight for that. She had done though, the onyx female was not going to leave the girl alone without at least trying to apologise and make amends between the pair, at least to just explain why she had left, she wondered if Naniko would have fallen so far from grace if she had still been around, perhaps they would have still been a happy family. She gave another soft sigh.
"Well there are plenty of places she could have gained the stubborness from, I was once a bit stubborn you know, but you're right, I'm sure she has a good heart underneath it all, I just hope she gives me a chance to rebuild some kind of relationship with her. I'm not expecting a miracle Savina, I don't expect her to come to me for everything, but something of a relationship would be nice. I miss them all so badly, I just hope I have not left it too late before trying to rebuild my bridges." The dark lady said earnestly, looking slightly sadly at her new Consul.
"Savina, is there anything else I should know of? Have Khaden and Dhalia appeared at all for example?" The lady asked, unable to help herself, she was keen not to mention Conri, it was too upsetting for Savina to hear that name, that much Soran knew, besides it would be hard for the ebony lady to talk about him at the moment. But as far as she knew, her younger twins had never caused any trouble in the land, she assumed had they come here they would have been welcomed back.

Yay! I has a shiny room to live in... also I am loving playing Robin, it's fun to have a young over-adventurous pup to play with WC: 1671?! Oh dear I rambled... do I get 15 points for this?

The ebony furred fae listened to what Savina said. She adored her leader then, her words made so much sense, brought the green eyed lady more comfort that she probably realised, it was true that she would still bear the burden of guilt for the rest of her life, after all that had happened there was no way that she could not, she had killed in her past, she had spawned a rapist and a rather unhinged daughter, she had abandonded her family, leaving them unknowingly to such strong hardships, she could not believe that she had done such an awful thing. It would be something she would just have to learn to live with it, to eventually put it into her past. But she knew now that it could not be changed, she could not help what had happened, there was nothing she could do, no way to go back in time and change it, there was no chance of her being able to go into the past and prevent the terrible things from occuring, if she did so then she would bring Rokus back, allow her small son to have a chance at life, she would have stayed around, keeping Conri in check, making sure he would not commit the awful crimes that he had, she would have raised Khaden and Dhalia properly, not allowing them to be poisoned by the infected mind of their psychotic half brother. Bile rose in her throat as she thought of him, he was the worst creature she could imagine, she hated him, and this was a fae who found it very difficult to hate, it was not in her nature to do so, she tried to see the best in all she saw, she was very forgiving, but that... that evil male had taken her red son's arm, tried to convert her black son into a little minion in his deranged Hollow worshipping cult, and having almost succeeded with Dhalia, she was unsure what he had poisoned their minds with, she was just certain that Khaden had had more sense than to follow it, seeing it only as the ramblings of a rabid fool. He had tried to tell them that Hollow loved them beyond all, that he had given his life for them, the lies he told with such conviction had entraced Dhalia, she refused to believe that Hollow had not even known of their existance, he had raped their mother, beaten her, murdered her mate and inpregnanted her, and that was the limit of his involvement in their lives, that was all he had done. She claimed that he had loved her more than life itself, Soran had been completely unable to stop herself laughing in her red daughter's face, he did not even know what love was, he was incapable of it, besides how could he love someone he did not even know existed? If she had been here then perhaps none of this would have happened, she would have her family, her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren all together in one place. But as Savina had said, it was beyond her control, perhaps it would get easier to live with the guilt, one day at a time.

"Thank you for that Savina, it gives me a lot of comfort, your words were very kind." Soran replied.

Then Savina spoke of her pups and Soran smiled, her long dark tail wagging lightly as she listened to her speak. Her older litter were over two years old now, they must have been born not long after Soran left, she wondered how on earth she had managed to miss such an important thing happening to her ebony mirror image. She continued to listen as she spoke, saying how she may one day like more children, but that for now she was focusing on the pack, the ebony fae nodded in agreement, yes the pack had always been like a large family, that was one of the reasons that she had loved it here, she had always felt like she was coming home to family when she stepped over the borders, even though many of the pack were now strangers, she would see them as her extended family, and would protect, advise and help them as such. After all if they did not all treat one another as family, how could they possibly hope to survive? They needed to work together, to be a team if they wanted to survive in these unusual circumstances.
"Oh how lovely, it must be nice to have them all running around together. I have four pups now, three girls and a boy, Rain, Florence and Flavian, they're twins, and the youngest's name is Kiwi. They're still living where I have been while I have been away, I suggested that they came with me here, but they did not want to, I cannot blame them, that pack is their home, where they were born and grew up. We parted on good terms, they have promised to at least come and visit, I hope when they come here that they see what I do in these lands and want to stay though, it would be wonderful to have them here. I cannot believe they are of the age they are now, it seems that I blinked and suddenly they were no longer tiny pups,"The fae paused momentarily to let out a little chuckle."I was not planning on having anymore, I had quite enough with my three, but now I wouldn't change them for the world, I am sure that if you do end up with another litter that you will feel exactly the same. They're wonderful, children." The fae replied, pausing for a moment, a small sigh escaping her lips, her children were one of her favourite subjects of conversation, she could talk about them for an age, her green eyed brood, (with the exception of Rain) but talking of them made her miss them, they were such a massively important part of her life, she had managed to be a good mother to them, she wanted them to be with her soon, she wanted to see their lives unfold before them, for them to see new challenges and meet them head on. She missed them.

She could not help but chuckle at Savina's reply to her comment about the house, she had been quite the same when she had arrived here, having never been near a human abode and then suddenly being invited to sleep in the Syemv house, now she could not help but miss the luxury of it, being warm and sure that she was safe at all times. Then the fae spoke about Mati, she seemed optomistic which made the fae hopeful again, Savina clearly knew her reddish brown granddaughter better than she, and she seemed to think that the pair of them would soon enough gain some kind of relationship, even if it was not mimicking a familial relationship yet, hopefully soon it would blossom into that. The ebony woman wondered if Savina knew how much she was affecting her, that she had given her two little injections of hope in such a short space of time, no wonder she was such a good leader, she inspired confidence and gave those without much hope the courage to believe that things would get better. The green eyed lady wondered if she knew what a big help she was being to her heart, that she was putting structures in place that might help it to heal, just through talking. She nodded as the fae spoke, it was true that Conri and Nani had both done terrible things, she could tell that it was hard for her dark counterpart to speak of the pair of them, there was much bad blood there now, there had to be, Soran did not blame her."I understand why she is upset Savina, I know that they have done awful, unforgivable things, I just hope that she can see in time that I am not like them, that I want to be there for her in a way that they never were, I'd like to be someone stable in her family." She said, smiling at the dark fae. The truth was that she had indeed been just like them, she had killed in the past, admittedly they had been in self defence, aside form Rokus, and the truth was that he would have died moments later, she needed to remove that guilt from herself, she had done a kindness in reality, ended his life before he began to suffer, even if it was for her own selfish reasons. She had to stop blaming herself, he would not have recovered, already showing the signs that Maeve had just moments before she had died, through her actions her son's passing had been quick and painless, but she had not done it for that reason, she needed to start forgiving herself for it though. He would have died anyway. She had also been a drug addict and an emotional wreck, unable to cope with existance, but that too was in her past, she was nothing like that again.

The female nodded slowly as Savina spoke of having not seen Khaden and Dhalia. "I see, that's not surprising to me, they are wanderers. As far as having never met Dhalia that might be for the best, she's a little too like her father, I am not sure how stable she is mentally if I am honest. I don't think she's dangerous, she's just... well a little unhinged." The fae replied, pulling a face that showed that she wasd not keen on Dhalia's world views and that she hoped more than anything that she had changed her mind, seen sense.
"Is there anything else I need to know, had anything else important changed? Is Anu still here?" Soran asked, hoping that nothing else had changed much, this was a lot to take in in one day.

Sure, we can close this up now, shall I make this my last post? WC: 1059

The sable female listened as her new leader spoke. Hope had filled her heart as she had stood on the borders, speaking to her old aqquaintance, she hoped over time that the pair would forge a friendship, they had been close enough when she had left, the ebony leader revealing to her that she indeed had a problem with her temper, something which Soran had felt very honoured to be trusted with, after all it was not something that Savina wished everyone to know, and Soran had kept her secret, never allowing anyone to know it. Hopefully the other female knew that and that went some way to helping her trust the wandering dreamer. The green eyed lady looked into the jade gaze that was so like her own as her superior spoke, she nodded as the female spoke.
"I agree with you Savina, perhaps that it is the best thing for me not to dwell upon things that I cannot change, I will be of no help to anyone if I just sit around all day moping. " The fae said, chuckling slightly as she said this, cheering up even as she spoke, yes there were much better things to dwell upon. She listened again as the female said that she hoped her pups would come and visit her soon, Soran felt the same if truth were told, she had been away from them for barely any time at all, in the grand scheme of things that was, and she missed them hopelessly already. She knew though that they cared for her though, that they loved her, she was certain that they would make the journey to see her, even if they only stayed briefly, though she could not deny that she hoped they would stay forever, seeing the beauty of the lands as she did, deciding that they could make it their home. That way they could all be together once again, even if they selected another pack to live in it would mean that they were only a short journey away. Perhaps then should Khaden and Dhalia, or even Conri return, then they could meet them, see that she indeed have the potential to be a good mother, the mother she wished she could have been for them. But her youngest litter had been born in much different circumstances to her older litters, they had been conceived in a consenting manner, she loved them just as much as her elder broods. She just hoped that her older children knew that she loved them just as much as her younger children. Maybe one day she would have a chance to prove that to them.
"As do I Savina, I would love for them to come here and visit, or even stay, I am sure that if they arrive here they will find it just as wonderful as I have, the old pack is their home at the moment, and I have accepted that, but if they are anything like me, they shall seek out new homes before long, I hope they seek them here. I hated having to leave them, but it was their choice, there comes a time when you have to let your children make up their own minds after all." The fae said with a smile, hoping that Savina would know what she meant, there always came a time when the apron strings would have to be cut, that the little ones would find their own minds, make their own descisions, all that one could do was hope that they had raised them well enough for the children to make the right descisions.

The female spoke again, Soran reached up to brush her hair from out of her own eyes, velvety ears twitching to catch the sounds of the other female speaking with her slight italian accent, it was a familiar friendly voice, the ebony lady could not help but smile at the sound of it. She nodded again as the female spoke, glad to hear that although she had decided against pups for the time being that she was not ruling out the possibility of having more sometime in the future.
"I am sure that you will be a wonderful mother to another litter, should you get the chance, from the sounds of it your children are happy here with you." The lady replied, a genuine warmth in her voice. At the news that Anu was still here the female's face broke into another smile, she was glad that the female was still here, she had always considered her to be a good leader and generally a lovely wolf, she had raised her grandchildren after all, the ebony female would always be in her debt for that, her being here meant that she would be closer to being able to repay that debt. This was a good thing, she wanted to be able to thank the female who had been a mother to her grandchildren personally.
"That's good news, I am glad that Anu is still here, I believe I have much to say to her, she has done a wonderful job or raising Haven and Mati I see, I just hope she's done an equally good job with Brooklyn and Salem, wherever they are." The female said, a small sigh escaping her lips as she realised that she still had two grandchildren to find, one so like her own mother and one so like herself, her little mirror image. She hoped that she would find them soon. The lady then spoke of the rank changes, Soran was about to ask why she had changed them, but then had the feeling that it was perhaps to do with Naniko, she had chosen the former rank names, perhaps it was too painful a reminder, a thorn in one's side. Instead she simply nodded and said, "I see... why did you think of Roman names for the ranks? They must be very interesting, I shall have to write them down so that I remember them." With this the female turned to look into the lands.
"Shall we walk back into the lands? I would love to see the old house again." She said, hoping that Savina would walk with her and accompany her back to the house, where the pair could go their seperate ways.