Shallow
#1
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OOC: Set just after meeting with sky.


Shawchert was feeling down, not on himself, he was worried, strictly for what he’d done that could have posed the pack problems. Not only that but he caused trouble for both Orin and Skye. Could he do anything worse? Possibly, the man was returning home chastened and unhappy. He hated himself right now for everything he did but he was trying not to feel sorry for himself. Sitting against one of the Terrace’s trees he sat thinking what he should do. Patrol was the best thing in his mind, but what good would that do if they sent their army here after the refugees? He wouldfight... he’d protect his pack, but he was only one man.... but there were others. He was thinking of what he could do now though. He hit the back of his head against the tree, knowing it wouldn’t help him but hoping it would give him some inspiration.

Table by Jenni/Kiri
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#2
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“Try that a little harder next time, it doesn't look like it knocked any sense back into you yet.” Orin rounded the trunk of a great oak, her petite white form still in Lupus form. She had been too distressed to bother changing back to Optime. The only reason for changing back to her bipedal shape was if she needed to do something with her hands, and she was too upset to concentrate on any tasks right now. Ever since the birth of her daughters, she preferred this body.

She'd been angry with Shawchert ever since his massive screw up in AniWaya, and now she was here to do more than just pull out a few strands of tail fur. During their trek back to d'Arte Orin hadn't talked to Shawchert much, but now after the humiliating meeting with Skye she wanted nothing more than to give Shawchert a piece of her mind.

“So do you mind telling me what the hell you were thinking back there? I was behind you when you wanted to go to AniWaya. I wouldn't have let you go without me, so for that part I accept my Capitana's disappointment. But why, Shawchert, why the hell would you ever think it was a good idea to just pour out so much information when you knew you were on unfriendly ground?”

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#3
Shawchert looked at Orin for a second then away. How could he answer that question when he was just beating himself up for the same answer. He'd never screwed up this badly, and now he was paying for it. Sighing deeply he knew she wouldn't leave him be if he just ignored her;

"I honestly don't know... the excitement in the moment... the idiocy that just keeps coming out..... my inability to do anything right.... just pick one.

He said glaring down at the ground. Hadn't he been chastened enough? Wasn't Skye's utter disappointment good enough for her or did she just make him want to feel lower than dirt. He was sick of proving to the women he was good at doing something, a better wolf than he once was. It was getting him into nothing but trouble. Not that the situation he'd put everyone in Cercatori in was the woman's fault, by far it was his and his alone.

"My only concern is to figure out what I need to do... and this is the best way for me to contemplate..."

He said, still not looking at her, it was only partially true, usually he would meditate on it, before setting out building something that would suffice as lookouts, and then he'd find himself scouring the forest patroling, looking for any sign a canine of any kind had come their way.
#4
The white wolf huffed dramatically, rolling her eyes at the man. She didn't care how sorry he looked or how sorry he acted, it still wasn't enough to satisfy her hot temper. He had just poured out a load of information in the face of a possible hostile, and he had the gall to sit there and feel sorry for himself?! Her tail swished, and it seemed that she held it out at half mast. Orin hadn't been much one for status or dominance games, but her posture right now sure suggested that her anger was bringing out the best in her.

'My inability to do anything right,' that statement just angered her more. She had the right to be mad, and he didn't have the right to rob her of it by guilting her into feeling sorry for him.

“What ever happened to your brains? Your instinct? Or did Sky take that from you when she took your heart, too? We have puppies here, Shawchert. I know they weren't around for a long time and maybe you're still adjusting, but it's like you didn't even think of them.” Skye had already chastised him on behalf of the rest of the pack, so Orin was down to digging in her claws about her daughters.

“Damn it!” the curse was so foreign on the woman, even if it was a mild one. “This is Cercatori d'Arte. This is our pack. It's supposed to be safe! Now we might have a war coming our way!” Her voice raised higher and higher as she kept working herself up, and finally she slammed her forepaw into the leaves at her feet, sending out a spray of dead flora. Mist collected in her eyes, and it was obvious that this ran deeper than the possibility of a war.

300+
#5
If Shawchert felt bad just then it wasn't what he was feeling when he saw Orins face, her comments about his kids. What had happened to his brains, why the hell did he do that? Those questions were non stop, but his biggest one to himself of all was.... what was he going to do about it. Sitting and moping wasn't going to help, but he was still trying to think, and with Orin raging at him, it didn't make things better... oh how he wished he could take things he said back, what had he been thinking? He'd been so cautious since his mother, but it just wasn't good enough. He grabbed the fur on his head and pulled a little, entirely unsure of what to do. It seemed to hurt him more to see Orin speak of their children and their pack than it hurt losing Sky, but it should have. They were his life more than Sky had been and now he had endangered every single one of them.

I DON'T KNOW, I just.... I will make things right again.. I just..... HAVE to plan. Take a course of action, Protect the pack... I shouldn't have gone, I"m sorry, I should have gotten permission. I was acting like a puppy.... what's done is done, and now I just have to .... FIX it somehow. Okay? I'm not here wallowing in self pity, I do not feel sorry for my punishments, i deserve everything I got plus some.

He breathed, trying to focus, angry at himself, for all the hurt he was causing the woman who was standing in front of him. He was looking at her with eyes pleading her to finish what she needed to do. He had business to take care of he had to set up defenses if any. He learned his lessons and well, or tried to, but what was he suppose to do. How was he suppose to answer her question? Watching her, his eyes caught the strings of her hair moving as she was animatedly miffed, something formed in his head, but he kept his mind on the matter at hand. How could he calm her down?

"I never wanted anything to happen to us, to our children. I don't know what you want me to say, but.... words have never helped me before. I doubt they will help me now.

He was now mentally forcing his emotions down, trying to stay calm. The Shawchert before would ahve freaked out, did something stupid and made things worse. He was not that man, he wanted peace, and he wanted happiness most of all. The few things he hadn't gotten since he came back except for when he was with his daughters.
#6
Orin growled her annoyance, a low grumble in the back of her throat that was not meant to be threatening but that she could not suppress. Something about her Lupus form always brought out the wolf in her, so to speak. Her mouth moved as if to say something but there was nothing to say, and she just got hung up on herself. Again she huffed in frustration, and jerked to the right, stepping into an annoyed pace. She passed back and forth in front of Shawchert a few times, stalking low to the ground almost as though she were hunting. She was just agitated, and like always, wore her emotions on her sleeve.

Now she was just as irritated about the fact that she didn't have anything to say as she was at Shawchert's folly. His words were so true, what did she want him to say? Nothing. She didn't want him to say anything. She knew he didn't have a defense, and that he was already tearing himself apart because of it. She wanted to lay into him, to keep going, to take out months of anger and frustration on the man. Yet she couldn't. She had already pressed the issue longer than she ever would have, and beating him up any more wouldn't change what had happened. It wasn't even making her feel any better like she had hoped it would.

Finally she stopped pacing and threw herself to the ground, landing theatrically in a pile of leaves. The leaves billowed up around her, some coming to rest on her own ivory furred back.

“This is Cercatori d'Arte,” she repeated, but now her voice had lost all it's fire. She spoke low, with raspy pain-addled words. “It should be safe here.”

She dropped her head onto her paws and looked at him out of the corner of her gaze; it was a very puppish look. Her golden orbs filled with tears that she struggled to retain. She didn't feel safe here, and it wasn't just because of Shawchert. Sure, she felt better here than anywhere else, but still there was always that feeling lurking around the corner wherever she went.

“What am I going to do?” she asked, the question sounding futile the moment she whispered it. It was obvious that she wasn't talking about Shawchert's blunder anymore. “Is anywhere going to be safe ever again?”

400+
#7
He could feel her anger, annoyance and frustration. He watched quietly as she paced back and forth, back and forth before she finally collapsed. His heart went out to her, she'd been through so much. He sighed, moving only a speck of grain closer to her, before hearing her words. It was supposed to be safe. Though she didn't intend to stab him with her words, he felt the pain deep down. It was.... and it was he who'd let Argul in the pack, and alone with Orin. It was he who had not insisted on staying with her while the pups were still new, and he had just let out information that could potentially harm all of the pack.

"You are right.... The pack should be safe. I'm doing all I can to help protect it, but I'm one wolf."

He said, wishing he was all that was needed for the pack to be safe. He'd learned the hard way just how much one had to work to actually keep a place safe. He was working that and some, at least that was what it felt like until now, now that he set himself back for a full on army attack.

"The only place I found safe was the one I MADE safe. I can't let other people keep things safe I found that I had to do work, hard work, but it keeps everyone else safe."

He wasn't sure she would get what he was meaning, but he knew she would be smart enough to understand. She was smarter than him after all. More swift, light on her feet, and had grown far more than he ever had. He could see her as someone who could help protect the pack, even if she wasn't a fighter. He wasn't sure how she would react to him though. He was sure she was still angry, but he wanted to get her mind off that, and find a way where she could feel safe, even around him, though he couldn't see why anyone ever could feel safe.
#8
Her eyes turned away from Shawchert but her ears perked, listening raptly to all that he said. The woman looked so much like a girl again in that moment as she stared blankly at the woods. She still blinked against tears, but no sudden outburst of sorrow ever came. It welled beneath the surface. There was just so damn much going on that she couldn't pick an emotion and stick with it.

“There just so much... so much evil out there. I feel like all this...” she lifted her head and looked around, indicating their beautiful home. “... is just an illusion. Like it's luring me in. The better it gets, the worse I start to feel. I don't trust it. I can't trust it. I did before and I got burned. Now I have more than just myself to think about. There's the girls, first and foremost. And there's you... god knows you need someone to look out for you.” It wasn't meant to be an underhanded insult, and if he listened to her right it might have been a little bit of a compliment. In some small way she was telling him how badly she wanted him to be safe and happy, too.

“And it's not just because of what happened to Demetrius,” she hesitated. “There was... There's other things out there and there always will be.”

She stopped, turning her gaze back to her paws as she contemplated for a moment. Her ears slanted back as she mulled it over. What she was contemplating, what Shawchert had said...

She jerked her head up again and looked at Shawchert, wide honey eyes staring at him as though she had a revelation. Well, she did. ”That's it!” She yelped and leaped to her paws at the same time, her tail just barely twitching with excitement. “We all look out for the pack but everyone has their other duties to worry about as well, so we don't really coordinate. Despite what happened in AniWaya the trip was good for something; we made a great team. Together we make like a super wolf,” for once the old Orin was showing as she referred to the fantastical stories she used to read constantly. “I'm small and swift, you're big with brute strength. We can figure anything out... why don't we do it as a team?!”

WC 400
#9
He listened, hearing every word and wished she didn't have to find out about the world, he felt the same as her, that their daughters needed to be protected, and felt somewhat flattered at the mention of him, though he was more worried about taking care of others he put himself last. Her mention of Demetrius brought back the sore spot though, it was quickly abandoned when she mentioned other things..... what had happened to her?

Orin... what.... never mind."

He wanted to know, but thinking on it, he doubted she would want to tell him. It was none of his business, if she told him he would listen but he wasn't going to bring it out himself. Then her sudden jump startled him back to full awareness, and he looked around to make sure everything was fine, he was kneeling now, with his hand on his sword but it was just a thought that occurred to her, that he seemed to have planted there. Smiling slightly, though he didn't like to be called a brute he wasn't going to fight her over such a word. Not after she'd finally stopped yelling at him. Staying calm, though feeling the excitement, he couldn't help but smile. He'd thought she'd do things alone, but her idea was far better. Though some of it sounded strange, especially the super wolf, he wasn't sure where she'd gotten that from.

"I think we would make a good team."

He said, and back deep in his mind thinking ' if I don't make any blunders in the process'
#10
ooc: Ok to end here? He can follow her if you have ideas to keep going. 300+

ic:

She knew what he was about to ask her but thankfully he dropped his question, and she let it go. He was right, she would tell him if she felt like it, and right now she certainly didn't feel like it. Would she ever want to tell anyone that secret? Maybe. Probably not.

“Yes!” she yipped as though she hadn't noticed him about to ask her the question. It was like she hadn't been yelling at him just a second before. In one big leap she was in front of him, landing her small wolfish body against his. He would either catch her or she'd topple to the ground, it didn't matter. Her tail wagged furiously now as all the things she ever imagined about heroes and knights and crime fighting pairs flew through her thoughts.

“We'll have to work some things out, but we can do it...” the wheels were turning. She was already coming up with scenarios, ideas, plans. “The biggest one is who will watch the girls when we're busy. I hate to leave them behind, but they're finally getting to the point where they're sick of me. You know what Juliet said to me the other day? 'I'm not a puppy anymore.'” She giggled. “Can you believe that? Anyway, it would be good for them to have time with the others. I think they like Bangle, and he teaches them things.”

She twisted her body, rolling away from him and then popping up to her paws again. “I'm going to go talk to Skye. I don't want to take any more risks like we did. I'm going to tell her about this, so she'll expect us to ask her for these duties when things come up.” She began to bound away, but just before she disappeared between a pair of trees she stopped and turned back to him. “Hey, by the way, would you mind relieving Bangle? I haven't gotten the girls yet. Four pups for an entire day, he's probably dying. Well, it's Bangle, so they're probably dying.” And with that, she was gone.


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