The days had begun to melt together again, and Shandom took this as a sign that he would have to return to Cours des Miracles soon. Having lost track of the risings of the sun, he could not quite tell how long it had been since he departed his new home. It had felt so unnatural, so uncomfortable, to be confined within the rules and structure of a pack again, especially one so alien to his native Etienne. The daily life seemed so civilized, so far removed from what he knew as a wolf. To Shandom, it was almost like attempting to interact with a completely alien species. He’d slipped out under the cover of night merely days after joining; his intention, exploration.

It was nice to be reunited with his thoughts and his four paws, though he’d slipped into his optime form a few times to get himself adjusted. As the virus made him just as adept on two legs as he was on four, it wasn’t necessarily difficult to move around. Instead, it was simply strange to see the world from such a different vantage point, to have the ability to use his paws in a different way than he’d been raised. Shandom was a proud wolf, and it was significantly easier for him to adjust to this new world on his own. He did not seek to appear weak in the eyes of others. It would be a horrific blow to his confidence to appear even the slightest bit incompetent.

The days alone gave him ample opportunity for thought, and he felt his mind slipping back to its natural state: thoughts of Lea. He remembered the lazy summer days they’d shared in their youth and the quiet nights spent talking and laughing. He could vividly remember the sound of her rough laugh and her husky tones; sometimes, at night, he could swear he heard them in the background. Shandom’s body ached to be curled into her muscled, sable body, to feel her heavy head perched atop his crown. Being alone and separated from her for so long caused his mind to glorify the Lea he once knew and loved, though the smarter part of him knew she was gone.

He often wondered what she looked like now. The last, terrible time he saw her she was an entirely different wolf. Her beauty was masked by fury and hatred; the gentle gleam in her eye was replaced by deadened madness. Lea’d held herself in a more feral, dangerous pose, and she’d grown bulkier in mass. The once velvety fur that blanketed her body was gone, replaced by coarse hair matted with the litters of the wild. Shandom had still found her beautiful, would still find her incomparably lovely if he saw her tomorrow, but he knew it was just because he’d known her before that horrible, horrible day…

Shandom’s pointless wanderings had brought him deeper into a shaded wood, and he moved like a transparent dream through the trees. His nose caught the scent of an unfamiliar wolf and he followed it absently, weaving his way towards its origin. When he saw the wolf producing the scent, he stopped in his tracks. Illuminated by the rising sun was a midnight female, with fur dark and velvety that reminded him of nights long past… His traitorous heart picked up and began to gallop, and his mouth gaped a bit. “Lea…? he whispered, voice lost in the early morning air before it could reach its destination. But even before he called her name, he knew it was not the woman he so longed to see. This female, though in possession of a similar body, appeared more delicate, and significantly less mad. Shandom could not help but be a little disappointed.

Regardless, he moved closer to her, almost silent in the early dawn. “You remind me of someone I once knew,” he said simply, hopefully catching her attention. “It is truly remarkable… But forgive me, my manners have abandoned me.” He chuckled lightly. ”I am Shandom Qi’Vaex-Nightslayer. I apologize if I have interrupted your work.”

He could not stop the frantic beating of his wild heart, though Shandom maintained a neutral face. For a moment, he had been so certain it was Lea before him in the gentle light of dawn. Despite the danger of seeing her again it would have taken every fragment of his self-control to not run to her. He hadn’t even considered that Lea would not have been turned Luperci – Shandom knew that if she were aware of the disease, the female would have immediately demanded to be turned to the advantageous being. She would resemble this – admittedly, lovely – female before him, and he would not be shocked to find her building a tree house. Then again, his assumptions were entirely based on the female he once knew, not the monster Shandom was sure she had become. Some of the last words she ever spoke to him rang in his head... “You killed me when you killed them! You destroyed me! I have spent weeks, months, I don’t even know how long anymore – trying to find myself again and I can’t find her! This is your fault, Shandom! Remember that! When people speak of the great and terrible Linquilea – because yes, that is what they will call me – remember this: every drop of blood I spill, every family and pack I ruin – this is your fault. If you had just left them alone…”

The words were horrible to recall, and Shandom shook himself out of his reverie. What was with him lately? “It is a lovely memory, Caprica, reminiscent of my youth in my homeland. I find it wonderful to come across someone who reminds me of such a pleasant time in my life.” Shandom lied easily, a confident smile pulled across his ruined face. Though, he could not say it was entirely a lie. Many nights were spent dreaming about the life he once lived, about the life he could have had. It was incredibly difficult for him to move on from a life Shandom thought he deserved.

Shandom moved slightly closer to her to get a better look, not only at the structure, but the female as well. She was shapely and beautiful, larger than what was conventionally considered ideal but what he found to be perfect. Her fur was lovely and sable and her eyes were a startling shade of green he had not seen before in his wolven brethren. Caprica appeared strong and healthy; his assumptions were mostly founded on her ability to create such an intricate structure. In her Optime form, she was, of course, much larger than his current four legged stature, though he assumed she would probably be shorter if he were to shift. He shifted his attention to the structure built in the trees, and it made him smile a bit wider. “You’ve done a great job,” Shandom said after his several moments of assessing silence. “It is nice – a little home in the trees.”

He wanted to ask more questions, get to know her better. There was something about this Caprica woman that enchanted him. Perhaps it was the magic of the early morning, but Shandom felt more at ease than he had since he arrived in Nova Scotia. Yet he remained quiet, his expression gentle as he examined the little structure.

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Sorry for the delay! Power outages and midterms and whatnot

He did not feel remorse for lying to her about the pleasantries of his youth. Caprica could not help her resemblance to Lea, and the jackrabbit that appeared to replace his heart had slowed slightly as he grew accustomed to the situation. For several brief seconds, she had given him more hope and joy than he could recall feeling since before everything went south. A strange, almost overwhelming feeling of gratitude towards the woman filled him: it was not unpleasant. Indeed, it had made him feel more relaxed. As he walked slowly around her structure, examining its crevices but attempting to maintain a respectful distance, Shandom grew more impressed. He was not so skilled with his Optime paws as she.

“Fur will protect you from the wind,” Shandom murmured quietly, still engrossed in his examination. “I have never seen anything like it...How do you do it?” The male was not sure whether or not he should be embarrassed. From what he had seen in Cours des Miracles, almost anything was possible with these wolves. To him, they almost did not even seem like wolves anymore; more like strange, impossibly powerful creatures with an understanding the likes of which he could hardly imagine. In Etienne, Shandom had always been regarded as intelligent, perhaps moreso than the rest of the pack – with the exceptions of Odin and Lea.

“I have no heard of any packs in the mountains, as I am new to the area,” he responded to her remark of her home. “Though I have been extremely transitory since my arrival in Cours des Miracles, the land I now call home, my travels have not taken me there yet. Do you enjoy it there?” Shandom’s tone matched hers in politeness, but he could not help but feel there was something special about this Caprica woman. He hoped it was not merely because she reminded him so much of Linquilea it was almost painful.

Her words were rough and unpolished; coarse, even. Shandom had never heard any wolf speak quite like it, with such ease and disregard for the linguistic choices. He had been raised in such a proper place, in such a high position: Shandom had to wonder if, perhaps, the old traditions were lost in this new land. Such a thought gave him room to despair: he hated the idea that wolves were possibly losing their collective species identity. Caprica mentioned that she learned to wave from a human book: the alabaster male internally shied from the idea, though he did not begrudge her the decision. From what he’d seen, some wolves enjoyed the humanized lifestyle. Shandom doubted he would ever attain that level of comfort in his Optime form. “I cannot imagine using my paws to create something like that,” Shandom mentioned. His tones were not self-deprecating, or in any way ashamed. He simply stated fact. “I am not so comfortable with the idea of taking human inventions as many of the other wolves around here. I am merely a wolf; I do not aspire to much more.”

As he spoke the words, Shandom did feel a pang of regret. “I am sorry, Miss Caprica. I do not mean to insult your culture and ways; they are merely unfamiliar to me, and sometimes disconcerting.” He gave her a reassuring smile, as if to promise that he did not think any less of her, and hoped she would forgive him for his borderline unfriendly reaction to her mention of human books. When she told him about Anathema, Shandom could hear the passion in her voice; it made him smile. “The way you speak of it, it must be so wonderful. What is it like there? Do you have much family?” He was genuinely interested, and his easy smile and relaxed stance reflected that attitude. Shandom lowered himself to his haunches, tail curled easily around him.

When she asked about whether Cours des Miracles had been worth the journey, Shandom almost had to bark a laugh. It wasn’t that he had anything against Cours des Miracles – he quite liked it there, if he were being honest – it was simply that no pack, no journey was actually worth everything he had been through. Still, he found a way to keep his tone light and easy. This female had no need to know of his history. “Cours des Miracles is pleasant. I arrived at their borders when the pack was at the twilight of war, so I do wish I came at a better time. Still, the wolves are friendly, and they mean me no harm. I am grateful for their safe harbor.” The words felt strange in his mouth; it was odd for him to speak about a pack that he called his own that was not Etienne. He felt, for some reason, compelled to tell her this. “I must admit, however, it is entirely different from my home. There, no wolves walked on two legs, and we were very traditional. It was not until I left their borders that I contracted this virus. Have you been this way your entire life?”

The topic had turned, no matter how briefly, to family, and Shandom was forced to again realize Caprica’s striking resemblance to Lea. It was painful each time he noticed, a bitter knife through his fragile heart. He could not blame the woman before him – it was far from her fault – but he could not help imagine her with topaz eyes, a stronger jaw, a splotch of white on her chest that vaguely resembled a crooked rose… If he shut his eyes for a moment, Shandom could allow himself a brief second of happiness and illusion. It was wonderful, but all too quick. His mind refused to allow the delusion.

Envy consumed his heart as she rattled off the siblings she had in Anathema, as well as a mother. A mother! The notion was foreign to Shandom. He remembered Xydia with fondness, but he had been a child when she was taken. The few, fuzzy memories he had of her were of a beautiful, delicate wolf with fine, regal features. She’d been in possession of a lovely and rare magnetic smile; it drew people to her, and made her a much loved Alphess. Warmth spread through him as he recalled the pleasant memory. It was, of course, rapidly replaced when his thoughts inevitably shifted to Kora. The look of mingled grief, terror, betrayal, and dignified acceptance that was her last expression lived in the screenplay of his mind. Shandom wished with all his being he could forget it.

With a chocked laugh and a slightly embarrassed expression, the male realized he’d been silent for longer than was socially acceptable. ”Your family sounds wonderful. It is so incredible to be surrounded by those whom you love and treasure. Truly, it is the greatest happiness.” He was concerned this woman might find him odd, but he could not halt that words that jumped to his lips, unbidden and free. Besides the uncanny resemblance to Linquilea, this woman put him at remarkable ease. Shandom did not feel the same way he would normally feel if a stranger asked him how he got here, or why.

“I wasn’t – I’m not,” he murmured in response to her question. “Had everything been sane and normal, had the world been a fair and just place where things happen the way they ought, I would have my full sight and live in and lead the lands of my ancestors. Instead, I allowed my jealousy to impede my – normally! – excellent judgment, and through that I lost my beloved family and the one wolf I treasure above all else – my sister, Linquilea. She is the wolf you resemble, by the way,” Shandom finished softly. His face was rather vacant, but his eyes were wistful and far away, until he rapidly brightened. Tone more upbeat, he asked “So, are more wolves around here ‘born and bred shifters’? I can’t imagine that! My homeland – Etienne, it is called – didn’t have any. If I am being honest, I have never even heard of wolves that can do that. I suppose that goes to show I have not been particularly gregarious since I arrived here.” He gave her an easy and relaxed smile that did not adequately reach his eyes. They were still sad and distant, seeped in memory of those he’d lost.

500+
Feel free to post again or we can imply they agreed to meet again and went their separate ways And yes, let us have another!

These moments with Caprica, no matter how brief, cemented Shandom's belief that he would never be able to find someone who would quite compare to Lea. His dark eyes, even the blind one, were mournful and distant as he stared almost through the ebony female, lost in a web of memories too complex and heart wrenching to vocalize. Each happy memory of his sister turned into a stab through his heart; he knew what she had become. And Shandom also knew that the time he spent here under the quiet umbrella of calm was limited. Linquilea had a way of finding him, sensing him - he supposed he had the same "sixth sense" for her as well. Shandom had no doubt that his ebony sister was already tracking him across Canada, leaving chaos and destruction in her venomous wake. He was almost flattered she would go to such extents for the sake of killing him; after all, wasn't hatred a passionate emotion? Sometimes he wondered if that hatred could be converted back to the love they once shared; perhaps a love greater than the one that existed before... But the male knew in his heart he could not allow himself such hopes. In the months before everything happened, Shandom saw the signs of Linquilea losing her balance, her ever precarious grasp on the volatile temper that flared most significantly after Aylienne's attack.

The Lupus male sighed and curled his tail tighter around himself; it was the only sign, aside from his distant eyes, that he was as emotionally distressed as he was. Something about this beautiful Anathemian woman did something to him that he couldn't quite place; it was similar, though nowhere near the same, to what Linquilea had always done. Lea, his Lea... Shandom suppressed a sigh and refocused on the conversation at hand. He was slightly embarrassed that he'd bared so much to this strange woman - he was certain the female was judging him in probably an unpleasantly harsh manner. But her words remained kind, and he appreciated her for that. I'd like that, Shandom whispered, giving her a shy smile when she indicated he could see her any time. I'd really appreciate you helping me out with the whole two-legged thing, too. And I'll show you what it's like to do things on four paws, including hunt. I'm pretty good at it, what with being a loner for so long.

He hoped they could see each other soon, but it was getting to the point where Shandom knew he had to return to Cours des Miracles land. I should be getting back, he sighed, standing up onto his four paws and stretching a bit. I do hope to see you soon though, Caprica D'Angelo. He gave her a smile, a wide, true smile, one that transformed his ruined face - through it, the wolf he could have been was visible for a brief moment. The smile was enigmatic and handsome, making Shandom look years younger and much less war-weary. If Linquilea had seen it, it would have been recognizable to her as the brother she once knew, not the tumultuous introvert that had replaced him in her wake.