who i'm meant to be
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Read Only. After this post, Shandom will no longer be a part of the CdM ranks. Sorry for the abruptness - I'll be PMing anyone I currently have a thread with in the pack lands after I figure out whether or not I can continue the thread! Sorry guys D: Dated for today, December 14th. Twilight.

Word Count → 559


He had kidded himself for too long.

Shandom stood at the entrance way to the room he'd called his own for several weeks and spared it one last glance. In its own way, it was a nice little place - the sun filled it on nice days, and it was warm and secluded enough. He could see how the Cours des Miracles wolves might think it an excellent place to live, somewhere there could be laughter and joy when friends came to call. But to Shandom it was strange and alien, something he would never grow accustomed to and something he never wanted to be accustomed to. When he came here with Terra, he had been trying so hard to be something he simply was not. On two legs, he lived a lie. There was no prettier way to say it.

Perhaps it was the bad luck of him arriving in the direct aftermath of a war. Shandom hadn't found the packmates very inviting, wrapped up as they were in their own misery, and he did not fault them for it. He had seen war, he had known the emotional burden it set upon an entire society; but as an outsider, he could not bring himself to sympathize with their plight. Part of him, the part that he kept buried deep underneath layers of false emotion, blamed the strange virus for whatever war these wolves endured. If they lived like normal wolves, like the creatures their biology wanted them to be, then maybe things would have been different. Though, if things were different, a pack like this one would not exist, and Shandom was all right with that. The male longed for the simplicity of traditional ranks - Alpha, Beta, Gama, et cetera - though he would never find himself in a leadership position again. Time had proved he was not to be trusted with such power.

As he left the Hotel for the last time, Shandom wondered what Lea would think of a pack like this one. In his heart, he knew the ebony female could not be far behind. It was what called his heart north - the potential promise of seeing her again, even if it were from a distance. If she were coming from the West - and he was sure she was - she would have to come to these lands from the North, as he did. The scarred male knew he would not survive an encounter with her long - she was too angry and filled with hate - but those last moments of his life would be glorious, wondrous ones. They would bring him peace in a way he had not known since the moment he first dug his teeth into the innocent bodies of his niece and nephew.

But now was not the time for that. On four legs, Shandom broke into a run, moving faster than he could ever remember. A broad, wolfish smile broke across his dark lips - this was what he was meant to do. He crossed the border faster than he realized he would, and he felt an overwhelming sense of freedom at the thought. Shandom would not return to Cours des Miracles, at least not for several moons. The male angled to the North, mountains in his mind: he wanted to live among them again.


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