i'm not strong enough
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ooc;;
4th January 2012 . Wentworth Valley . 9.15pm . Optime Form . Thread Prompt 2


Darkness had settled over the lands of Ichika and the young Stormbringer male allowed the darkness to fill him up, to settle over him like a blanket, a cape billowing out behind him. He slunk through the lands he had called his home for well over half a year now, despite his three month trip away. It had never ceased being home, he just hadn’t been here. He regretted the trip, but there was something he couldn’t bring himself to regret from the detour on his path. Temeraire was growing bigger by the day and Saul knew that it wouldn’t be any time at all until his son no longer needed the care of Nayru or her milk and he would be up and moving. He was managing to crawl around the small earthen den they shared with his piebald leader and her daughter Kahlo without much support now and Saul knew it would only be a few weeks before he could stand properly and then he would be off. Saul understood that his son would never be one to stay inside and be safe, but there was a certain amount of anxiety about his child being out in the big wide world without him.


Saul had picked up on his leaders less than chipper mood as of late and he felt rather guilty about the fact that his son might have been part of what was getting her down. Saul knew that there had been another pup and he suspected that it had been a little boy. His own sons need, and their untimely arrival, was probably not doing her any good. Saul could see the way she looked at Teme and the male wasn’t sure it was entirely healthy for his leader. She had lost something precious and then Saul had swooped in with a little boy of his own and need of Nayru to look after him. In a way, Saul suspected that she begrudged not being able to mourn properly for her lost son. Of course, there was never a time or a place where he would be able to speak to her freely about this and therefore it settled between the two of them that it was feelings left unsaid. Still, he wanted to do something to cheer her up, to make her feel better at least.



He hadn’t known what to do at first, until he’d been reminded of the pack activity he and Eclipse had partaken in. While it wasn’t anything particularly useful, Saul had learnt how to weave and it was this skill that he worked on through the day. He knew Nayru and their respective children would be safe in their den, though he kept an ear out for the borders and anything else that might be happening in Ichika. They hadn’t left it completely empty, a few had remained to make sure nothing went on and Saul and returned at the same time as Saluce and X’yrin. None of them had travelled together, but Saul was pleased to have caught Saluce two days ago. The father and son who were not biologically related had spent a few hours talking, patrolling the borders and making plans for his upcoming wedding to X’yrin. Saluce appeared happier than Saul had ever seen him and the gratitude he felt for X’yrin.


The young male had spent most of the day weaving a waterproof basket from reeds he found are the beach. They were sharp edged and the male had a good few cuts over his fingers where the serated edges of the blades had caught him, but he was pleased with his masterpiece. A gift was surely something that Nayru would appreciate. He stood, stretching his limbs out as his eyes adjusted to just how dark it had grown. He moved easily through the lands, finding it just a little strange how quiet it was before he made to move towards Wentworth. He would find Nayru and spend some time with her before he attended to other needs and spent some nice time with Temeraire. He really had missed his son.


Nearing the valley, he was a little disconcerted to hear noises of upheaval coming from their den. Saul moved forward quickly as Nayru burst from the earthen den, a frantic, panicked look in her eyes. “Nayru! Nayru, whats going on? Are they-” “Kahlo is gone!” She interrupted him with a shriek, diving back into the den and spraying dirt everywhere. Thoughts of his woven bowl forgotten, the male shifted into his lupus form so he could get into the den. A familiar scent clung to the entrance and Saul paused to examine it. It was an unfamiliar scent, one that he couldn't put any name to and it frustrated him, before Nayru almost crashed into him. He could smell that Temeraire was still safe, but that didn’t mean everything was alright.


Nay, when did you last see her?” He asked, nose working furiously to try and pick up anything else of this strangers scent. He could smell nothing. “I-I don’t know… I got back from getting some fresh air and she was gone” His leader tried to regain some composure, but Saul could see she was crumbling apart. Saul always thought that Nayru wouldn’t be affected by matters of importance such as this- she was such a steadfast and constant being that Saul couldn’t add the two of them together. He continued to check outside the den, inside and around the area, but any trace of the strangers scent had been washed away in the February downpour that had caused Saul to take shelter in the forest. “I-I can’t smell her…” He admitted, panic beginning to rise in his throat.


I have to go, I have to go and find her…” Nayru whined, before turning into the den and she began to gather her things together. “You’re leaving?” He asked, slinking in to help her pack up her things. “I have to Saul… She’s my baby.” She didn’t need to say anything else- Saul would have left Ichika in a heartbeat if Temeraire had been stolen. “I won’t return until I find her.” She stated simply and Saul felt a stab in his gut at the thought of Nayru leaving. Of course, these circumstances meant that he couldn’t even argue if he wanted to. “Samhain gave her to me, and someone has stolen her. I will find her.” She seemed to be reassuring herself that this was the right thing to do. He stepped back, taking in the scene before him.


I understand why you have to go, although I wish it weren’t true. Take my knife and cloak to keep yourself warm and protected.” He stated simply, wriggling into the room and removing the bright crimson cloak he’d found on the beach so long ago with Gideon and one of the knives he’d found when they first arrived in Ichika. It would keep her warm and safe for the time being and Saul felt just a little better about it. With all the urgency of a desperate moth, Nayru exited the den, a bundle of items with her. She shifted up into her optime form and Saul followed suit, before her little body pressed against his. It was uncharacteristic of Nayru to give out any form of affection, but Saul understood her need for reassurance as he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight.


I’ll always be here if you need me” He spoke through a thick throat as she squeezed him once back, before turning and walking away. He had no idea when he would see her again, what he would say to her, if she would have Kahlo with her, if she would ever return. As she moved swiftly away from him, Saul felt a little snick of his heart fall away and he allowed his body to crumple in on itself. He’d come back to cheer her up, to make sure she was okay. He’d found her to be truly not okay and there was nothing he could do to fix it. She left and Saul couldn’t even offer to help her. He had too much in Ichika that needed his attention and while he knew he would do everything he could to try and find Kahlo, he also recognised that he might never achieve this.


He stood in the cold for a good half an hour, watching her retreating form, and when he could no longer see her, the space where he’d last seen her. He might not have felt anything romantic for Nayru, but he certainly felt that the two of them had a closer bond now and he could feel his heartbeat gaining an erratic beat. His certainty in the future was beginning to crumble, but he allowed himself one more breath, to say “I’ll miss you…” Into the pitch darkness before he turned and entered the den once more to attend to Temeraire, who no longer had anyone to take care of him but Saul.




word count;; 1511
"speech"


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