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AW, Halifax.



He seemed to hold his life at arm's length. Everything that happened seemed to happen on its own, whether positive or negative. The details of his own mind, what he thought and what he felt, seemed too hazy and generally illogical. There was no reason for anything, no sense of order that he could understand. Or well, conclusions weren't that hard to jump to, but the state of his own emotions was in such an unintelligible mess that all assertions were dependent on a dozen things that had no concrete answer. Stepping back from the heat of the moment and spontaneous actions, he couldn't analyze anything. Even thoughts and realizations seemed to hinge entirely on fleeting moments. What seemed to make sense one minute did not carry over into the next. It seemed like such a precarious way to live.



He didn't know if he was happy or unhappy; the words simply didn't seem applicable to his life. But he was starting to think that it didn't really matter. What he felt seemed so far away anyway, and if he wasn't unhappy, then why really concern himself with it? What did it really matter in the end? He had become a nihilist once again, it seemed. Just invest everything in those fleeting moments, though even they amounted to nothing in the end.



Laruku was slowly expanding the borders of the where he allowed himself to venture. The outskirts of the city now seemed to be fair ground, and today, he rummaging through the shelves of another bookstore, looking for a blank journal. The coyotewolf intended to write it again, the long and exhaustive history of his birth pack. Maybe it was a useless venture; after all, it wasn't like he had anyone to pass the knowledge to. In another generation or two, no one would remember Clouded Tears had ever existed, and really, perhaps it was for the better. Maybe he just wanted something to keep him busy. Or maybe, secretly, he wanted to hike back over the mountain one day to see what remained of his forest. If the graves were still there, perhaps he would bury the history in the dirt where his predecessors had decomposed. He didn't know if he really needed that feeling of closure, just like he didn't what he felt about anything else, but it couldn't hurt.

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She'd taken her leave of the packlands once more, knowing that sooner or later she'd have to start actually learning the lands more than what she already knew. She could find the old human city outside of her packlands but she barely dared to enter the grounds for she knew she'd probably be hopelessly lost for ages and be stuck backtracking her own scent to escape the decay of what had once been the modern ere. Today though she figured that there was no real issue with exploring the outskirts once more.

Firefly had paused on the outskirts of Quartz Shoreline, the scent of her mother and those other ragtag packmembers she'd picked up as they tried to ban together were present, marking out the lands they'd halfheartedly claimed. The scents still belonging to individuals and not to a whole yet. She shook her head at the markers and strolled away back towards the dirrection she knew would bring her back to the pack. She'd spent one day looking through the buildings and trying to find an treat or two in the stores but she hadn't returned since then. She knew she was close to the backalley store where she'd seen the knotwork necklace and armbands and she decided at the last minute to go back to retrieve them, if another already hadn't.

Padding down the street looking for the tale-tell signs of the backalley she'd found she stopped short as a scent reached her. She raised her head up in searching, somewhere buried in her deep past she knew the scent though it was old and foreign in her mind, someone she couldn't put a face to or a name either. She stopped in her tracks as she caught the scent again and decided to pursue it. She couldn't figure out how she'd know any scent in these lands since she knew her family's scent but this one didn't match any of her siblings or parents though was strangly like DaVinci's in some matter.

She growled softly as she became uneasy, not for certain if she should turn back or kept going when she came to the end of the trail among a small stretch of stores. She walked down the sidewalk looking to catch a sign of the other when a small movement in a window caught her attention. The bronze and cream girl stood at the glass and stared into the musty store, the scent of old worn pages caught in her nose as she recognized the place as a bookstore, and the one within it was obvious a coyote, though she couldn't figure out how the scent was tied to her own memories. She wasn't paying much attention as she studied the male, not realizing that her shadow was crossing his form and stealing light from his task he was concentrating on.

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It was a tan, leatherbound volume, two hundred pages thick; each one was blank and yellowed, but still crisp along the edges and smelling of dust. A dark green cloth bookmark was held between the cover and the first page, just as it had been when a store worker had placed it on the shelf so many years ago. It was a journal comparable to his original, not that it really mattered; no one had ever seen the original other than himself anyway, and it might be the same for this rewrite. He looked up instinctively when a shadow fell over the window but could see nothing but a dark silhouette outlined in the sun. The air in the store was dead and his senses were too clouded with old corners and molding wood to pick anything out.



Nevertheless, he could tell the stranger was a young woman, and that she was staring at him. Perhaps it shouldn't have been so surprising, with his collection of scars and coyote appearance; she was a wolf; perhaps she'd been in the war. Still, Laruku didn't like it. He took the empty journal one hand and started towards the door. Can I help you? It was ironic, of course, that he should come out of a bookstore sounding like an employee, but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

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Her emerald eyes had followed him as he moved through the store, silently she tried to work at the memory but it was like a flea in the pelt, she knew it was there she could feel the itching on her skin.. but no matter how much she scratched she came up with nada. Shaking her head as she cleared her mind of the foggy overlay of long ago memories and words running through her head she sighed and was about to let it go when his voice suddenly called her out of her own thoughts.

Throwing her eyes up to catch sight of the male in the doorframe she felt stupid for letting him appear out of nowhere. She'd been watching him, how in the world did she allow him to suddeny just disappear. She was slightly annoyed with herself for letting this ghost from the past matter so much to her to distract her from the fact that he was within her space now not on the otherside of some small protection. Sparkling eyes met the crimson ones before her as she silently stared at him, wondering just who he was.

She had forgotten all the stories her mother had really told her of Clouded Tears and the linage she belonged to, of course her time had been devoted to wild adventures and carefree roaming with her two half silbings, the forgotten ones of their family in some way. Her ran a hand through her cropped hair as she realized again that he'd spoken and what he'd said, with a shrug and a slight smile she admitted. "I don't know.." her soft accent making the words seem strange in the air.

The scarred up pelt and the eyes, screamed she knew she should know this male, everything she knew said that, while she couldn't remember the things her mother had said her brother's words were engraved on her memory and often he'd spoken in short manner and small talk of Clouded Tears just to pass the time, telling horrible stories of the things he'd done growing up and the wolves he'd known. She opened her maw and shut it once before she sighed, "Who are you..." she asked with a hint of irritation, not at the male but at herself for getting caught up spying on the fellow.

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He didn't recognize her, really, didn't even have annoying wisps of some long ago image that echoed with familiarity in the back of his mind. There was too big of a chasm between his subconsciousness and his consciousness, and it was a space that he had come to accept. If he didn't have to dig around back there, then he wouldn't. If he knew this girl, or if she knew him, then it would come to light soon enough. There was no point in really dwelling on any oddities in her behavior or stance towards him. At the very least, she didn't look particularly afraid, so he didn't think she was anyone that he had inadverdantly harmed in the past.



Laruku Tears, he answered simply, no longer really preoccupied with hiding his namesake. Standing outside now, he could smell Cercelee's pack on her, but he had never been that good with picking out lineage from scent alone, and there was still a lot of dust in the air.

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They say there for a moment just staring at eachother, she was trying to make a connection but as for him she had no clue what was going through his mind. Suddenly a name was offered and it was all starting to connect together. She just nodded slowly as she realized who he was, the last ghostly alpha of the long gone pack her family had belonged to. She shrugged after a moment and grinned, I must have met you a long time ago... she said after a moment, then went on, "But it doesn't matter.. my brother spoke of you when he use to talk of growing up.." She felt a little foolish talking to the hybrid about himself when he still had no clue who she was, though that didn't last too long, finally she'd relaxed after realizing he wasn't really a danger to her, she knew she could continue to be rude and not offer him a name.

She peered back in the store before finally releasing her name to the male, "I'm Firefly.." no last name, no title, no nothing. Just Firefly because that's all she'd ever known herself as. A name given long ago by another that she just seemed to be stuck with for the rest of her life. Grinning to her reflection she turned back to the relative and stated simply. "Kindof a silly name, right?" She loved to watch the insects she was named after sparkle and glow in the twilight, and she herself even knew the glow in her coat could be compared to the magical glow in the warm summer air, but while everyone else in the world seemed to have a real name her mother had picked such strange names for her twin and her, but maybe she saw something the rest of the world didn't, Firefly really didn't know and it really didn't matter anyways, atleast not in the end. The whining and complaining wasn't really worth it.

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Her name was all he really needed; it was like a key that unlocked the very specific memories tied to it. It wasn't much, just a day at the river and her father's worried visit, but he knew who she was now, more than she probably wanted. You're one of Iskata's kids, he concluded with a nod, The one that ran off. It wasn't an accusation as much as it was a statement, and the hybrid didn't think much about the possibility of offending the girl. Everyone ran off chasing someone else or something intangible. In her case, it seemed to have been DaVinci, though that was more Phoenix's guess than his own. He shrugged, not bothering to ask what had been said about him and whether it had been good or bad.



Firefly's not a bad name, he added, leaning against the storefront. In any case, it was not any more or less strange than any other name he'd heard. People named their children after gods and demons, after dead and forgotten relatives, after things they loved, things they hated, mundane things, extraordinary things; in the end, it was just a word to call someone by with only as much meaning as you gave it yourself.

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She was a rather easy going one for the most part, except for one point in her life that everyone seemed to get wrong. She was watching her reflection in the window as Laruku spoke, the news of her running away so long ago made her eyes flash as she turned to gaze at the male, atleast for the most part he'd gotten it right, or atleast he hadn't slipped up and accused her brother of kidnapping her. A slight smile played on her lips as she nodded, "Yes, I snuck off after DaVinci.. we went looking for Magdalena and played at sailors for awhile." She realized as she said it that she sounded a bit childish but the truth was the truth. They had played as sailors and journey'd to grand mysterious places. Places that DaVinci hadn't returned from yet.

Her hands pressed against the glass as she smiled slightly as he spoke of her name she shrugged and admitted, "I guess it could be worse.." her eyes trailed to the notebook that he held as she asked, "What were you looking for?" She'd learned to read and write onboard the ships, though the clan in Eire didn't believe in writing down their history, all was passed from mouth to ear down the line to this day. She smiled softly at the thought and watched the crimson eyed hybrid next to her with eyes that revealed nothing.

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Everyone seems to run off at some point, he said passively. Your mother did it a lot. Laruku shrugged, vaguely remembering that he had never run off. He would have lived and died in Clouded Tears if he had been allowed to. It was ironic in many ways just how attached he had grown to the lake and fog despite all the troubles it had brought him, but it was his own name, after all, so maybe it was more appropriate than ironic. The only prolonged departures he had made from his birthplace had been involuntary, but the strange thing was that he didn't know if he missed it. There was probably nothing left but a pile of splinters and ash now, so there wasn't really anything to miss, but he didn't feel anything when he thought about it. There was just a void.



Just an empty book, the hybrid answered. He didn't remember ever really telling anyone about the original book he'd written; it had been a pile of pages tucked away in a corner of his den, half-buried beneath blankets and rabbit skins. Occasionally, he had forgotten about it until he accidentally uncovered it and scribbled in a few more pages, but it was among few possessions he had had that had actually meant something. I've got things to write.

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Her eyes flashed dark as he spoke up about her mother. She'd known that it was in their blood but to hear another say her mother was like her wasn't what she wanted to hear. She could compare them inside her own head and they fell far away from eachother in how they were. Thought she knew she couldn't ignore the real truth when it was said infront of her, she'd rather just not have to hear those words. Flicking her ears back for a moment as she gathered herself she shrugged and spoke the truth. "Why not? I saw a world I'd never have been aloud to here. It was worth it to me..." The words were passionate, yet she knew they weren't wholely true. There had been small regret upon leaving but none of them had to do with the worry of her parents, it had been more towards her twin, yet now it seemed that the time they'd been seperated was nothing but a blink of an eye. "For the most part the world's adjusted and has forgotten I was even gone." The only one who seemed to care so much was Ember and Firefly still wasn't so sure why in the hell her dark hued sibling really cared, not that she really cared though.

Her eyes fell to the journal he held in his hands as he spoke, the words ringing to an old memory of when DaVinci was younger and a book that Laruku had written things in while the pack had gathered around. "DaVinci said that you use to write.. something about the past.. he'd been bugging you during a gathering when he was small..." She wasn't certain why she even brought it up, but the idea of memories written down seemed so forbidden to her after the world she'd returned from where memories were sealed in the mind and handed down from mouth to mouth and not through written works. The forbidden was always something she dared for, the idea of writing down her secrets and stories of where she'd been..

Her eyes turned towards the book store as she smiled, "Perhaps I should find things to write about to.." She turned her emerald orbs back to meet those crimson ones as she commented offhand. "It was forbidden you know.. in the clans of Eire.." A shiver seemed to flicker down her spine as she ran a finger down the glass before her as she asked. "Why do you write?" She'd never really written much before though one of the sailors had taken the time on their long journey to teach DaVinci and her. She wasn't certain of the things that would fill the pages of one of those books but perhaps Laruku could give her an idea of what others looked to, not that anyone else would ever be interested in reading her words.

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He noted her irritation at his comparison, but he couldn't help but think it the more she spoke. They seemed very much alike in their mannerisms, the way they spoke, their indignation, their recollections of the past he had such a hard time remembering. Had he read from his book to the entire pack? Vague images and words floated around in the depthless black space in his skull, and he didn't press any of them. Maybe he had, maybe he hadn't. The original book was gone and he didn't really trust his memory anymore anyway. Though he had some sort of simple pride in the history he'd retained, whatever pack meeting DaVinci remembered was apparently not important enough for Laruku to remember as well.



I've got nothing else to do, he answered simply. And it was true. Without duties or obligations now, the scarred hybrid had very little to occupy his time with. Everyone else was off building packs of their own; it almost seemed like the leadership that he had cast off had been picked up by half a dozen other people. Conri and Naniko had their own pack. Cercelee as well. Iskata was trying. And instead of joining any of them, Laruku spent his time sleeping and lying around in the sun, half-dreaming, half-remembering, half-not-really-doing-or-thinking anything at all. He didn't mind, but rewriting something that would otherwise be lost forever didn't seem like a bad alternative, even though he wasn't sure that saving such history was really worth it in the end.

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She had turned away from him to watch the dust covered world of books in the building, the words he spoke made her smile a short and simple grin as she turned her emerald eyes back to him. "Really? Why not?" she asked. She really didn't care that they were related, she hadn't really let anyone else know who she was or how they might have been related. It wasn't her fault the male had remembered her name from some far off memory or scrap of conversation. She tilted her head to the side, her eyes drifting back to the window as she decided that she would go fetch a book from the store before the night was over, who knew, she might actually have something worth writing about in her pretty little head.

The silence between them lasted more than a moment before she remembered that the stranger who shouldn't really have been a stranger was still there. She figured that he would have disappeared at the first moment he'd had if possible, but she was wrong. Flicking her ears back as she bit her lip, knowing it would be rude if she went into the building now since she was the whole reason he'd left the shop in the first place. She suddenly asked, "What would you write about?" as she turned about, perching on the concrete rail along the edge of the old window as she waited to find her answers.

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Well, what do you do with all your time? he asked. He had carried the alphaship for two and a half years. Before that, he had spent all his time finding food in the drought. And before that? What did he do with all his time? Pick fights with strangers, most likely. He had read a lot, he recalled, and those had been the days that he had still spent with music. In one sense or another, those were all the things he was slowly returning to. He was reading more again, but a piano still eluded him. The hybrid still hadn't ventured enough into the strange city to know where anything was.



Laruku really had no interest in sticking around but felt obligated to continue answering her questions, at least as long as they remained relatively benign. Everything, he said of the future contents of his blank little book. It was a half-truth. He would write about Clouded Tears, which hardly encompassed "everything," but the coyotewolf was not writing an autobiography or a journal by any means, and as such, there were plenty unpleasant details that would thusly be omitted.

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She stopped suddenly when his question rang in her ears. Gazing at her reflection for a moment she could recall the things she'd done until she'd reached these lands. The time spent on ship and the moons of cattle raiding and learning at the knee of the bairds. Dangerous games of the heart and mind, and yet here.. there was really nothing. She knew she'd argued with her sister and seen her brother again. Roamed about to scout out other packlands just out of boredom's sake.. and flirt and play with the boys.. but none of it had been something she'd really been interested in doing.. just passing time. Wrinkling her nose she turned her sparkling eyes to those cirmson orbs. "I see your point." she said after a moment, she was being nosey after all.

She wondered if she really was worth anything here, she didn't have any exceptional skills. She could hunt and scout, but she wasn't anything special. She knew her place overseas yet here she was just floundering in the the tides, nothing special, nothing new, atleast to those who hadn't seen the darker side to the lass. It really wasn't a bad thing, she just hadn't really found her place, or atleast she hadn't realized it yet. She shook her head and admitted. "There seems to be too much time and not enough to do here.." She was ok with that, roaming and wandering the lands did keep her occupied, even if it just made her even more restless than she normally was. She'd figure it all out in the end.

His final answer to her question made her wonder just what everything was, but his life wasn't hers and everything he might write about probably wasn't anything she cared to know about. She realized suddenly with that thought that her life probably wouldn't be of interest to anyone else either. She passed off the thought and with a pathedic sigh she turned back to Laruku. "Well, I best be off before someone actually notices I'm missing.." she joked, knowing that no one would really care where in the world she was as long as she actually returned. Hell, Ember would love it if she disappeared all together, but that was beside the point.

Firefly stood there a moment longer gazing at the male that was family and yet not. She really didn't know Laruku and he seemed to distant and strange that she wasn't sure what he was exactly, but he wasn't someone who worried her all to much, atleast not for now. Smiling to herself she suddenly turned about and skipped back down the alley, knowing she'd return back to the bookstore for a journal of her own, but not while Laruku was right there. She didn't want anyone to really know about the journal she was looking to find.