here we go
welcome to my funeral
without you i dont even have a pulse
all alone it's dark and cold
with every move i die
::
Omni smoothed back her dark hair, pulling it back from her face with her hands. It lay in a tangled mess, after the miscarriage her appearance didn't matter at all. Blue eyes had lost ther light, carrying a sadness that simply couldn't be hidden however much Omni wanted to cry. The struggle was extremely difficult, as if the pressure and tension would simply have the russet virago blowing up in a messy fit of tears and the loss of the ability to see reality the way it should have been. However much Jacinto comforted the petite coywolf, it just couldn't be helped. There was so much irony with that situation, Omni craved his touch and comforting body...Unfortunately for some reason it didn't quell the sorrow of the loss. It had to be her fault, her punishment for past deeds. As she stared into that cracked mirror to that broken face of her own, there was anger there for what whatever the gods above had done. They didn't deserve this! Santiago, Calixta, and Xerin! The poor things...It should have been Omni to pass into the afterworld! Not them! Quickly, the small woman grabbed a cloak and opened the door to exit the room. "I'll just be...Out." Her explanation was sincere, innocent. Without some fresh air, Omni was sure she would begin hyperventilating soon. She left Sinatrai with Jacinto, she knew he was better fit to be a parent than her. She wrapped the fur garment over her body, skipping quickly out the door to the Mansion. Where to now? She had refused to wash her pelt of the scent of the dead puppies, they were underground now...How was she ever supposed to remember them? And honor their brief existence?
Thin legs propelled her instinctually to the direction of the hotsprings. Warmth. The scent of her pups was just causing nothing but grief, nothing more and nothing less. It was time for a change. The air was brisk, unfortunately just as grievous (it was supposed to be spring!) Cold blue eyes watched sadly at the passing scenery, shaking her head of dark hair to clear the faces of the stillborns from her mind. They were so beautiful...And they didn't even get the chance to have their first breath. It was all too much to bear.
Soon Omni found the pools, as inviting as they ever were. The slim woman threw off the cloak and slipped in. She shuddered as the heated liquid seeped into her pelt. Then the tears came. Frantically, Omni dove into the water, ignoring the unpleasant sensation of water filling up in tall ears. As she resurfaced, the coyote shook her head and cleared her audits of the hot water. The tears slipped past her face, hopefully the water would confuse one to think she wasn't being weak and crying her eyes out again.
here i go
this is my confession oh
a lost cause nobody can save my soul
i am so delusional
with every move i die
What had he done? Had he really killed his own brother? Watched as life slipped from his crimson eyes? Did the blood of his litter-mate really stain his hands? It was like some terrible nightmare come to realization, and he surely would have fallen into madness had it not been for one simple truth; Columbine had been dead long before Helotes had slit the man’s throat. No, Helotes was not sure whom he had killed, but it was not Columbine, not his brother. Then why, why did his heart hurt so? Why did it feels like a part of him had been forcibly cut out? He was plagued by the images of what he had done, and though he felt no remorse for it, he still felt a heart-pang that was nearly unbearable.
Helotes could not even find solace in the knowledge that all he must do to have Zana’s heart was to ask the Aquila’s permission, which surely would be granted now after what he had done. He had put the Infernian leader’s life before that of his own flesh and blood, and such an act could not be ignored. But Helotes would not ask now, could not ask now; he could not even face anyone now until he had come to peace with what he had done.
Therefore, Helotes had taken leave of the mansion for several nights, taking to sleeping in the forests. He hadn’t eaten, his fur was matted and he smelled terribly; he had welled in his own mind and now was finally coming to terms with his actions. Columbine was gone, and he could mourn him now, and feel no guilt; he was protecting his home, his family and his livelihood.
Finally uprooting himself from the spot beneath a fur tree he had been in for the last day and a half, Helotes stretched out tired muscles to move towards the hot springs, which was not too far off. He had chosen to seek refuge in the constant mist of the place and the relative privacy it provided. Now the idea of sinking into the bubbling water seemed like heaven, and it did not take long for him to reach and pool and immediately sink into its depths. He immersed and then surfaced once more to look into sky, stars just beginning to emerge from the veil of the sunset. He sighed, and then, heard something. It was a soft sound, a sad sound, and Helotes looked up and through the mist, only on the other side of the pool was a figure. He recognized her to be his sister, Omni, and she was crying. His ears flicked back against his head, and for a moment he hesitated, wondering if he was ready to face anyone, let alone a simpering female. But she was his sister, and he had love for her so he made his way over, Omni, he said softly, What is wrong? And then, realizing that they were indeed in a hot spring, and such a thing would not be good for a pregnant woman, he reached under the water to grab her about the waste to lift her onto the bank, but he recoiled when his hands touched her, for there was an absence there where there should have been a fullness, Oh no… He looked at her through the haze of the mist, Oh Omni… I’m so sorry… And his heart broke all over again.
Word Count → idk :: Ilusion lost her babies, and she knows how Omni feels. If you want me to change anything inthis post please tell me.
Spring, a month of happiness and renewal. Though all it brought the Lykoi woman was sadness, her children would have been two years old now. Instead they were under the ground and never taking the breath of a nice spring day, it put the woman in an unpleasant mood. A mood that always made her brothers avoided her because they knew she would take out her sadness on them. She was evil to do that, she would have just tried to let go like a normal girl but that was just too hard. Instead she dwelled on the four lifeless babies that never could be with her now, cried to herself as she saw new puppies being born.
She was really happy for her brother but with that she had grown jealous. Jealous! It was ridicules for her to be jealous of anybody but he would have children where she would not. A soft sigh escaped the optime female as she pulled her arms around herself, trying to make herself more pleasant to be around. With that thought she thought of the hot spring, her long legs carrying her there as if wanting to shed her sorrows in the hot mist. Her arms moved from her self hug and fell to her sides as she walked closer to the heated pools of water.
Her body halted short from the water as she saw her new sister and favorite brother in the place she wanted to be. Her golden eyes watched as Helotes interacted with Omni, watched him coil away in surprise. It was only then she could tell what had happened, why her delicate girl was crying. She knew the tears, knew how it felt.
Instantly she closed the short distance away from her sister, her eyes showing she knew what had happened. Surely her brother would remember the day she had lost her children. Slowly Ilusion moved into the water, looked only at Omni. Her arms out stretched for comfort. ”Come here.” She whispered, her accent thick with sorrow. She knew how the woman felt and knew she needed to cry even if she did not want to. She wanted to help like her other did for her.
here we go
welcome to my funeral
without you i dont even have a pulse
all alone it's dark and cold
with every move i die
::Hey guys!
If only she could've been stronger, better for the babies that had slipped away from her that night, they wouldn't have died. There was still that overwhelming grief, the kind that made its victim want to scream every obscenity they knew to whomever, curse the world for the uncalled for deaths of the Lykoi-Cadeaux children. She had two little boys...Looking so much like Jacinto, and a little girl. The runt, the tiny female that even in the small child's death, Omni wanted to protect. Now they were gone. Blue eyes looked up as the sound of a being approaching cautioned the coyote. It was her brother! Helotes...The way he flinched just dulled her mood, another on the list that she had failed. "I'm sorry...I-It's my fault." The hybrid found herself stuttering, small hands resting upon her abdomen. The bulge, it had become something of familiarity, only to have it disappear along with her own flesh and blood.
Omni flattened her ears and averted her blue eyes, only to direct her attention to a feminine figure nearby. It was her sister, Ilusion. Omni rather liked her sister, and the proposed comfort the Lykoi woman held out to the golden coywolf, there was no other option but to take it. Like a small child, head down in the almost customary bow of grieving, even without thinking, the young woman sought out the comfort of her sister. "Ilu." The woman said quietly, pulling her sister into a short-lived, but loving hug. She wasn't sure how to approach Helotes on this, knowing whether or not he was angered or disgusted with her loss. Pulling away solemnly, Omni faced them both. Why did they deserve this?
Creamy hands trembled in the reality of this all, this had to be nothing but a terrifying nightmare. Images of Jacinto's grin plastered over his sweet face the day she had announced her pregnancy...The still bodies of the tiny ones that should've been wriggling around in her arms. The blood. Even Sinatrai's sweet innocent face. He didn't even understand the severity of this all. "W-What am I supposed to do? I-I f-failed Cinto...He's not mad...But I don't know--" Even this all put her relationship with their brother at stake, maybe Jacinto would just end up leaving. Trying again--That wouldn't work. They would likely pass away as well. Her long tail drooped between her knees, letting the steam conceal the trio.
here i go
this is my confession oh
a lost cause nobody can save my soul
i am so delusional
with every move i die
Omni’s face contorted into a pained expression of guilt and frustration, and Helotes’ heart wept for her. He wracked his mind for a way to comfort her when out of the mist and feminine figure appeared. Helotes recognized it instantly to be that of his sister Ilusion, whom he had not seen much of lately. His folded ears perked up immediately as the woman slinked into the water and wrapped her toned arms around the girl, cooing at her gently. There was no better person in the world to comfort Omni than Ilusion, for she had gone through the same trauma of losing a litter not long ago.
Helotes’ ears lay flat against his head again then when Omni spoke raggedly of how it was her fault and how she had failed Jacinto. Helotes drew his sad eyes up to Ilusion’s to see how she would respond to the girl. He could not say if or if it hadn’t been the girls fault; had she over exerted herself? Drank alcohol? Done drugs? He couldn’t know. It was one thing of the female constitution that he as a male would never know.
Unsure of how he could help now with Ilusion here, Helotes lifted a sopping handing from the water and places it gently on Omni’s back in a sign of support and comfort.
