She was dead inside. Like an empty void had spread throughout her body, leaving a trail of nothing but burning and stabbing pain to live through. There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel waiting for her, no way of finding a solution to a happier life. There had never been a life she thought more beautiful than spent with her beloved, or once beloved now. But he wanted someone else. Her life was to be spent in shadows, a shadow of her once happily lived condition. Amy had shown her resilience, Hadley had shown her pain. Somehow those both clashed, not fair to the victim. What had she done? Why did Hadley want someone else now? Hadn't she tried to keep them going? Yet there was realization there. Worrying that he hadn't slept around was not love. What they had, couldn't be love could it? It was though...But the treatment given back from her once beloved wasn't.

A small hand clutched the dagger tersely in her hand, holding the object close to her heart. She could take that. Carve her heart out and reveal to Hadley her devotion. Draw her own blood as a show of her own care for him. Show him every friggin nightmare he had shown her. Still, the tip of the blade was pressed to her forearm, it didn't surprise her anymore about the lack of pain it was. Sure it hurt at first, but now...It was like breathing in and out, familiar. Hadley had made her ugly. She had made she she marred herself as much emotionally as physically. And seeing his face would ruin her heart again. There really was no one there for her, sure there was Fritz, who had comforted her in the worst of her confusion. He had kissed her softly and held her close. But were those actually feelings? Or was he just staying away in the belief that Hadley cared for her? What a waste. How could she throw herself at someone else though? Be exterminated within for believing that someone cared? The blade was pressed even harder into her flesh, not yet piercing but there was certainly pressure. Shaking her head, Sel lifted the dagger and threw it aside. He wasn't going to rule her life. Forget about him!  

Large ears pressed against her skull, slender legs tucked into her chest as she lay herself down on the ground. Take me away from this! Stop this! Can't you see that I wish to die? The girl silently called to the heavens, wishing for a bolt of death to sweep her away. Take her from the extreme stabs of her inadequacy, betrayal towards Hadley, and pure hate towards Ismeme. She wished for someone...Anyone to hold her close, reassure her that Hadley wasn't the one...Tell her that it wasn't her fault...Be reminded that her presence in the world was valued. But that wouldn't happen! Even with Hadley, he had never told her she was beautiful. Or even remotely pretty. Maybe she had been nothing but a toy, something used for his own selfish desires. So now he had Isa. And she was alone. Tears slipped softly from her eyes, dripping on the soil below her head. She could never go back to Casa di Cavalieri, she had been driven out. Unwanted and unneeded, and completely unwelcome. A weak and feeble noise dribbled from her mouth, "Why?" She had been happy! And that was nothing now. Ismeme had won, and she may as well take her life. After all, everything had been stolen. A hand picked up the dagger beside her, and held it tight in one hand. A trembling hand. How could Hadley do this to her? She had confessed her soul to him, given
him her heart, and he gave it back punctured and torn, she could never go back. Never. Not to see Hadley's face, she couldn't. She'd shatter.

+
Eh he can pretty much walk in on her trying to be all "imma kill meself" and maybe persuade her to stop? :3

This was just a horrible dream. A manifestation just meant to test her, try out her wits. She would then wake up to a perfectly normal. There would be no pain, nothing. She wasn't really holding the dagger to her wrist. She couldn't be. That was all fake, an illusion. Yet it seemed so real! Why would she be dreaming of some monstrosity? Such heartbreak and grueling emotions? It was real. And the one she had thought she loved was with someone else. What kind of life was after that? Someone would think she was being drastic, too theatric for an issue such as the present. But after everything, every single "I love you" and spending time promising everything, just to have it disappear was even more rash.

Why did this happen? Hadley had known her longer, it had taken him do long to at least warm up to her. But as soon as Isa walked along, he seemed ready to give her the world at first glance. She wasn't good enough. A voice cut through her dreariness, a large figure striding her way. "F-Fritz..." The dagger was knocked from her hand, and fell to the mossy floor of the forest. Trembling, but not in fear of the Great Dane, the coydog tried to explain her actions. "I-I...He chose Isa...I have n-no where to g-go...No one to go to." The last while unfortunately, Casa di Cavalieri had been less than home. She had helped Isa get into the pack, and in turn she was forcibly evicted. She thought they could have been friends, or at least on better terms. But now, hatred and sorrow for both Hadley and Isa replaced every soft feeling there.

Large ears flattened, sitting up on her knees. "I-I left the pack." Deep within, she wanted to have Fritz around. He was a comfort, and easier to speak to. But the wounds were do fresh, after Hadley had chosen over her. That thinking of another relationship would simply be going over her head. "I'm sorry..."

434 +3
Sel is the boss drama-queen

Maybe it was instinct, maybe it was just her nature. She quieted as she was gently pulled into the strong arms of the tall man, maybe this was her weakness. To be so easily molded to anyone's liking, so trusting and innocent. Who knew who got off on that. The tears slowed, ears perking as he said that she had him. Well, that was true. She hadn't really considered that since leaving, thinking that seeing members of Casa di Cavalieri would be awfully rare, that seeing Fritz again would be impossible. "That's true..." The young woman sighed, breathing into his powerful chest. There was guilt in the pit of her stomach for not considering him, yet leaving seemed to push that further and further away.

The petite hybrid refused to pull away. This had been the first feeling of warmth since the coldness and the anguish. To be honest, it felt pretty good. Like the feeling of being in the cold all day, to come back to a nice warm fire and many blankets. Relief. Comfort. Even engaging in anything with the man would be awkward however. He still was of Casa, and to her perspective, who would leave the pack for her? The slight discomfort didn't show however. She managed to stop the tears and wrap herself into his body. The last time seeing Hadley, he had asked her to never forget him. She didn't see how she could, but for sure he would lose memory of her. He had a beautiful woman, a woman stronger and much more capable of accomplishing things. She was simply a child, scrawny and weak. Never a woman.

Small arms shifted slightly, to be able to look up at her comforter. Things would take time, he was right. But he would be there for her? That--That was ultimately kind of him. She didn't know what to say, the proper words just wouldn't come. And when she tried, she was sure she had fumbled things up. "Th-Thank you...That's really...Nice of you." She leaned slightly into his kiss, she had forgotten the warmth and comfort. Even in a day. Ears flicked as he asked where she was heading, and her head bowed sadly. "I'm not sure...I don't think--I can't go back to the pack. So...I'm not sure."

<3 all's fine!

He seemed embarrassed after she had tried to fix up her words. Her ears dropped realizing that she had made it seem like she didn't equally care for the gentle man. She had thought that he wouldn't want to go with her, that she had been overly forward with the request. Had she hurt him? Selene sure hoped not! But his sigh still rang in her ears, did she feel so guilty! He agreed to go with her, and her tail swished lightly behind her thin body. That was something to be thankful for!

A small giggle escaped her thin muzzle as he explained the day, the night they had met before. When she had not been very sure about Hadley. When she was terrified, when she so willingly pulled herself into the arms of the spotted male. The kiss upon the top of her head made the young woman feel warm, dizzy and equally as comforted. "Fritz...You'd really go with me for a while? That's so nice..."

short post...