He could feel the tight roiling of his stomach deep in his body, a tangible feeling that caused his muscles to tense up in preparation for the violent expelling of the stomach contents in just a few moments. The rhythmatic gulping of fresh night air was doing its best to combat the nauseating feelings that hadn't been there the moment before. Creamy paws gripped his thighs tighter, forcing the bile that was rising in his throat back down. He didnt want to throw up and it would look wretched in the morning if anyone else were to find a pile of vomit where he hadn't been able to hold his alcohol. As another wave of nausea rushed through him, Saul allowed a soft whine to escape his throat. He didn't like this feeling and it wasn't particularly fun to be doubled over trying to hold in vomit. His tail tucked pitifully between his legs as one last gulping breath seemed to settle him.


Cinnamon backed ears however, picked up the delicate murmur and he picked himself up. It had been his name that had been called, and the only voice of such a timbre belonged to Lilin. His reaction was automatic- the racing of his heart, the raised temperature, the fluttering feeling in his stomach and the searing heat in his groin. Logically, he knew that was he felt was wrong. It didn't matter how far apart they were in terms of their family tree, they still were cousins. But at the same time, no-one had ever made him feel like that. Siku had been his first real experience with affection, emotion, attraction. And while he'd felt himself harden whenever she was close, it wasn't the same as what he felt now. The need, the urge to be near her was so strong that he'd begun moving as soon as he heard her voice. His tail automatically swung back and forth, a curling smile on his lips. He rounded the corner, green eyes dark and hooded, as he saw her standing uncertain and unsteady by her door.


"Lilin" He murmured in return, his voice low and husky as he moved forward, a little less unsteady on his feet as before. He couldn't help the flirtatious grin that slipped across his lips as he stopped in front of her, much taller than she was. He didn't notice his hand raise, fingers curled to brush her cheek before rising to her ear, giving it a playful flick before quickly stepping backwards and out of her personal space.

There was something so addictive about the proximity the two of them had, the harsh electricity that seemed to jump from her body to his. He'd noticed it before today, the pull he had for her, but the alcohol in his system seemed to enhance this feeling. It intensified when his curled fingers brushed against her cheek, his hand warming. He didn't know how to explain this feeling, the need to be near her, the need to pull her into an embrace and hold her tighter than either of them could bear. He didn't know if she felt it too, and he didn't know if what he felt was right, morally, but it was also something that he knew, instinctively, that he could never get enough of. His finger connected with her ear, not hard enough to actually hurt, but enough to tease her and perhaps initiate some kind of play. He hopped back, unsteady at first before he managed to regain some kind of balance. It wouldn't do well in his favour if he fell over, so he managed to stay upright, a cheeky smile still playing on his lips.


The delicate sound of her whine caused him to lean forward unconsciously. Her grumbled word, accompanied with the clutch to her ear was enough to make his face fall in concern, an apologetic stance to his ears and tail as he automatically stepped forward. She was in pain and he'd caused it. Instinctively, as she stepped forward and buried her face in his chest, he allowed creamy arms to snake around her waist, squeezing gently and holding her tight. She fit perfectly into his arms, her body feeling so right tucked into his. "I'm sorry Lili... I didn't mean to hurt you." He murmured softly, regret filling him even in his inebriated state. He hadn't meant to hurt her- he'd just meant to initiate some kind of play. He couldn't help himself as he rubbed his cheek affectionately against her head, most likely messing up the mass of curls that sprung from her head. With another squeeze, he aimed a lick towards her ear, as if to apologise once again.


His mind was still processing the sense of right it felt, as well as his body, when she was pressed against him like this. He hadn't ever felt like this before, as though she was made for him. It felt like home. With his arms wrapped around her waist, hands resting easily on the small of her back, he couldn't think of a single time he'd felt this peaceful. "Hey, you can flick me back if you want." He chuckled, unwilling to release her long enough to look at her properly.

With her face pressed to his chest, and therefore the only access he had visually was the top of her head and ears, Saul couldn't tell if she was okay or not. And despite the overwhelming need to pull back, look at her face and see if her ear was okay, he couldn't bring himself to move a muscle away from her. His skin felt tingly wherever she touched him, and at present it seemed that everything but the bottoms of her legs had some kind of contact point with him. The soft sigh of his name caused his body to quiver softly, a motion he was painfully aware of, pressed so close to her body. He didn't need to say anything, instead he allowed his dark nose to press close to her head, pushing past the curls until his face was well covered in the soft hair. From an outsiders point of view, it would certainly look like they were trying to wrap themselves around each other, connected in so many points that it would be difficult to chose which body was which, if the two didn't have such distinctive and separate colouring.


He didn't, however, miss the delicate shivers that raced down Lilin's body, pressed so close to him that he would have to have been completely oblivious to miss it. Another gentle squeeze of her waist was given, an attempt to pull her even closer than before. Deep down though, Saul recognised the aching in his groin, the need to get closer, identified as sexual tension. He tried hard not to dwell on it, and he concentrated on the feel of her hair on his face to try and distract from the fact that her body was pressed so close to his. The protection that his pants gave him wouldn't be enough this time- if he grew hard down there, there was no way Lilin was going to miss it. He took a deep, steadying breath and concentrated as her slightly slurred words, accompanied by the slight pulling back of her head so she was able to look at him. He pulled his head back so he could look down at her.


"You tricked me?" He questioned, a teasing tone to his voice that was hinting on flirting. Amusement raced through his body as he thought of the way that she had manipulated him, even in his drunken state, and a soft snort jerked his body softly. She spoke again, holding his attention raptly as she always did when she divulged words. When she concluded her speech, he gave another laugh, louder and heartier this time so that his body shook against hers. "Is that right? You can't stand up very well? Would you like me to carry you?" He teased, releasing her and ducking down all in one fluid movement, his left arm aiming to take out her legs while his right would come up to support her back. If he managed to pick her up in such a way, he would hold her tight against his body, supporting her shoulders on his right arm and clutching her legs to his body with his left.

Despite the dulling sensation that the alcohol had on his body, Saul was not so far gone, or perhaps his kidneys were working quickly enough to combat these effects, that he didn't see the smile creep along Lilin's lips before she set her face into a mask of innocence. Her eyes were wide, muzzle turned down slightly, possibly so that any further slips in smiling were hidden, before her delicate voice tried to dig herself out of the situation. He wasn't having any of it, a teasing grin slipped over his lips as he'd bent to scoop her up. She didn't have time to move or to protest as he knocked her legs out from underneath her, catching her around her back before she hit the ground. He lifted her easily towards his body- she was about a foot shorter than he was and her weight matched the difference- she weighed very little to his well toned muscles. Coupled with the automatic shifting of her arms around his neck and he didn't have much of a problem supporting her.


"I think you would trick me, Miss Lilin." He spoke close to her ear, a rough and husky voice the only thing he could managed with her body pressed against his like this. Her side was the only thing touching him this time, but it also meant that he could see the front of her body, stretched out in his arms. And it wasn't helping his situation any more- he would be mortified if she felt him against her back, standing to attention. Forcing himself to listen to her words instead of the potentially raging hard on that he kept hidden in his trousers, he allowed an easy grin to light up his face. She shouldn't have said that, she really shouldn't. With a snort, he allowed his right arm to shift away from her, most likely causing her to jolt back in an imitation of falling, before he 'caught' her again.



"What trouble will I be getting myself in to then?" He breathed, once again close to her ear. Absent-mindedly, he reached out to nibble softly on the ear he had just whispered in to. The light, teasing air of their conversation was pleasant, although Saul felt an undercurrent of something much more serious. He couldn't quite grasp what it was, and therefore he ignored it as he waited for a reply from the temptress in his arms.

Coherent thought seemed to be a major problem with both of them, their bodies pressed so tight together that there was no room for manoeuvring, no room for escape or breath. Of course, the grey man wouldn't have moved an inch even if he wanted to, his arms full with the most glorious body. The small, rational part of his mind, currently being forced into submission by the larger, more confident and completely irrational side of his brain, was trying to question the morality of this situation. In honesty, he was too far gone at the moment to worry about the moral rightness of what they were doing- he registered the blatant fact that cousins did not hold each other like this, cousins did not react to each other the way his body was acting, and he'd felt the soft quiver of her body against his as his kiss had hit her ear. This wasn't some hormonal, drunken mistake and they both knew it. The low, wordless moan that escaped her confirmed that she wasn't able to speak properly and it caused yet another shiver to race down his spine. He was going to have to do something about the tension in his body, but for the moment, he was more than happy to tease her.


He knew that her arms around his neck would tighten the moment his arm shifted from her back, and she proved him right when she caught him in a near chokehold. He couldn't help the sniggering laugh that came from his nose at the sheer panic emitting from Lilin's body- she should know by now that he would never let her fall. The sharp sting of her teeth on his shoulder, not enough to puncture or draw blood, caused him to draw in a sharp breath- not because it hurt, but the immediate pleasure that rushed through his body at the sharp sting. That confused him the most, but it took two words from Lilin, and his otherwise inebriated mind to forget that he shouldn't enjoy the sting of teeth on his skin. His name on her lips still caused a grin to widen his lips, even if the following words was an attempt at scolding him. He didn't need to say anything, adjusting his grip quickly and pulling her closer, if that was even possible.


He froze as she turned her head, salmon tongue darting out and caressing his cheek. Impulse told him to kiss her, to show her what she did to him, to physically tell her all that was racing through his body. His mind tried to fight him, to tell him that this was wrong, while his face was automatically moving down, an instinctual pull towards her lips that he had no intention of ignoring. Lilin appeared to have the same thoughts- a delicate hand touched his cheek, nudging his face closer, in the right direction. He couldn't have explained the feeling in that moment, the knowledge that she wanted this just as much as he, that she asked for it. Because she did- a soft murmur that infused all of the tension between them into one request. And he was a slave to her, his heart reaching out to tie him closer to her. He was at her mercy in that second, hanging on a precipice that she could as easily pull him back from, or hurl him over the edge.


"Lili..."


He murmured, a whisper so soft that it would probably only register to Lilin as a brush of air on her cheek before he allowed his lips to descend, capturing her lips in a soft and sweet embrace. The moment his lips touched hers, it seemed as though fire flashed across his body, the instantaneous reaction of his body and his mind zinging with the total rightness that filled him. If he could have caressed her cheek in return he would have, but he held on to her too tightly to move, to break this kiss that was the end of his world as he knew it.

He could not have recounted the feelings rushing through him in that moment- elation, arousal and overwhelming smugness that he hadn't expected to feel. Worry, always worry, for her, for him, for them. What was going to happen now? Of course, the larger part of his mind forced this one into submission and told him to enjoy the moment. It didn't help matters that at that moment, he wanted to hold her so close, to do more than just kiss her. He'd only ever had sex once, and he could remember snatches of this encounter every now and then. Despite the fact that he had a child, and had actually lost his virginity, his lack of experience and memory of the actual deed rendered him nearly as bad as a virgin in that department. But at the moment, in the exact second that their lips pressed together, he felt his anxiety of the subject dissipate. If it really came down to it, he knew instinctively that he would know what to do. It really wasn't his fault that his mind automatically turned to a more sexual root- his body had been reacting to hers for a lot longer than this and it was the culmination of too many swims in the lake to rid himself of a little problem that turned his mind to filthier roots.


The shift of her body caused him to pull back, despite the absolute lack of want to end their kiss. Did she want to end it? Had she had enough? He knew, perfectly well, that he would never tire of kissing those lips. Her legs swung away from his arm, settling on the ground before she repositioned herself, turning back around so that she was facing him again. It took him less than a few miliseconds to encase her in an embrace, arms tightening around her waist protectively. He didn't care about anything but this moment, he didn't care who saw them, or the repercussions of that. The bright azure gaze was the only thing that mattered to him right now. And it seemed she wasn't done with this either, because her eyes darkened subtly before she leaned up and in to him. Their chests pressed together and Saul squeezed her just a bit tighter as her lips touched his, harder and more urgent than before. He almost barked in excitement when her lips parted, inviting him in.


He didn't hesitate. Instinctively, he parted his lips as soon as he felt hers opening, his tongue rising to meet hers in a cautious swirl. He didn't try to stop the gratuitous groan that rumbled from his chest, one hand leaving her waist to dig deep within her curls, tilting her head further before allowing his tongue to plunge deeper, tasting her. His breath came faster, an automatic increase to accomodate the fact that his heart was beating wildly in his chest and there was nothing more for either of them to say- they would allow themselves to get lost in this kiss until the forest came crashing around them.

Both of them could see, and hear, the change in their breathing, the sharpened sense of urgency to which they met with their tongues. It took every ounce of self control to stay where he was, to remain outside of her hut rather than pushing her seductively back and into the confines of the den. Instead, he allowed his fingers to curl protectively into her curls, claws just resting against her scalp where he occasionally caressed her head. The hand that had remained at her waist had moved to the curve of her hip, once again curling around the bone there, hard and tense where he tried so hard to convince himself to stay where he was. To be satisfied with this one kiss. Of course, he knew that in a million years he would never be satisfied by just one kiss from her- he could feel her pulling him back in each time one of them surfaced for a gasp of air, the desire and want burning through both of them until they were nothing but a pile of ash on the floor. Drawing air in through his nose to try and get some oxygen, their fast breathing coupled with the soft moans and groans coming from both of them nearly undid him.


His name on her lips, stuttered in such a way, made him pause however, green eyes fluttering open. They were clouded, unfocused and dark with lust, but as he saw her turn her head away, his stomach dropped, a dizzying wave of nausea hitting him. She'd turned away from him. He could see her eyes from this vantage point, turning from sheer bliss to something that looked like shame. Another punch to the gut, Saul allowed his arms to drop feebly to his side. He didn't know what to do to make this situation better- one of the best moments of his life so far, shattered and stained by her rejection now. He sucked in a ragged breath as her mouthed moved- he almost couldn't hear what she was saying, but he got the general jist before she turned and disappeared into her hut. There was an unspoken barrier- while he hadn't needed permission to enter her room back in Hilsburn, he certainly didn't have any permission to walk into her hut. So he stood there for a few moments, green eyes confused and hurt.


"I'm not sorry."


He whispered softly, glancing down at his hands before forcing his limbs to move. He was glad for the company Temeraire and Elias provided- it would keep him from falling apart, overthinking what had just happened and trying to figure out where it went wrong, what caused Lilin to back off and run from him. With a deep sigh, he shifted down into his lupus form before entering the den, curling up behind the boys and burying himself deep in the furs that served as their bed. Despite the turmoil raging in his mind, the alcohol was quick to claim its victim and within a few short moments, he was fast asleep, dreaming about her.


-exit saul and lilin-