Mid-spring was her favorite time of year. The frequent rains put everything in bloom, delicate petals perfuming the air around them. Colibri Haki was just beginning to put the pieces of her new life together, very slowly, but the springtime made her feel a glimmer more optimistic than usual. She wasn't a loner anymore; she had packmates, few but loyal. She tried not to think on the untimely loss of her brother, Conor, and instead focus on her newfound sister, Lilin. She had even been entrusted with a house of her own, a luxury she had not enjoyed for close to two years. All in all, her confidence was building. It was enough that she decided to steel her nerves and make her first trip outside of Vinátta territory since its founding, and head south.

The one indulgence she had always enjoyed, and that gave her a measure of inner peace, was gardening. Now that she had finally let her guard down enough to choose a permanent place to live, it meant she could take up her hobby again. If she could prove her usefulness to her new packmates, it might even become her official job. But her justifications masked her real purpose; sentimentality. It had been in Crimson Dreams that she last laid her hands to soil, nurturing the seedlings in the orchard or carrying water to the flowerbeds. Apple trees and pumpkin patches, it had all been so industrious and fruitful. She would have stayed there and lived happily ever after. But stress, and war, and panic, and her boundless negativity intervened, fear driving her away from the best thing that had happened to her. The downward spiral had continued since she left, and only recently were things finally looking up. It felt like she needed the closure of returning to the southern territory, and bringing a small piece of it back with her to represent the good memories.

Colibri walked through the night, keeping close to the treeline whenever possible, moving swift and silent. She did not want to run afoul of any loners in the lawless lands between each pack border. Strange to think that not too long ago, she had been one of those antisocial drifters. The lean werewolf carried a light pack strapped to her shoulders, borrowed from Saul's moving gear. Her plan was to reach the orchards by sunrise and gather a few small plants and cuttings, then spend the day carefully transporting them back north. She would cultivate them in the grassy knoll where her house was built, and if they were successful, she could spread them, decorating other homes with flowerbeds and planting apple saplings along the edges of the overgrown vineyard. It would make Jordheim village feel like home.

True to her plan, morning sunlight was just streaking the sky as Coli arrived at the former pack borders. She padded lightly between the trees, not anticipating the wave of nostalgia and regret that tugged at her heartstrings. Time had erased the scent markers, but the landmarks were all still there. Haven Manor was visible from here, a lonely smudge on the horizon. Rabbit Lake shone like glass under the morning sun as she moved further in, heavy heart sinking in her chest. It was so sad. Where were all the Dreamers? This land was so vibrant in her memories, and now it felt so wide open and empty. There was one wolf in particular she had hoped she might find here still, haunting the orchards she had so lovingly raised. When the sweet scent of the apple trees reached her, though, all it did was make her eyes well with unshed tears. Why had she been such a coward and run away from this place...? She hadn't realized how much she missed it.

Coli stepped into the rows of wizened trees, sad to see the marks of deer cropping the leaves and branches, and the weeds overtaking the soft loam. Nature would reclaim anything abandoned, she knew, but the clear signs of it were depressing. She unslung the pack from her narrow shoulders, hanging it on a low branch. She needed to distract herself with the task at hand -- locating any seeds or seedlings sprouting from the ground, so that she could collect those first. Then she would take cuttings from the main trees, and attempt the more risky propagation that way. It would take years before the new trees could bear apples, but Coli could not bear the thought of leaving the orchard behind without bringing any of it home with her. If she could stomach it, she would swing near the manor on her way out and bring home some of the perennial flowers, too... but remembering whose hands touched them last made her want to cry again.

The slim Optime made her way carefully through the trees, conscious as always of not bruising leaves or trampling saplings. The orchard leaves had more caterpillar holes than she ever remembered, but the leaves still meshed together into a verdant canopy, casting dappled shadows along the soil. She closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply. The smells were so sweet. All the delicate little blossoms, the rich scent of the wood, it brought so much flooding back to her. She knelt, opening her eyes to search among the weeds and tree trunks. There was a little green sprout with the rounded leaves she was looking for, not the pointed arrows of dandelion or the little spears of grass. Coli delicately scooped her hands underneath it, cupping the soil its fine roots had begun to cling to. There were several others nearby, no doubt from the same discarded apple core of last season. Her trip had not been in vain, despite the heavy heartache it was leaving her with.

Then came a voice behind her, strong and clear. Coli flinched, ears clapping flat against her skull, teeth bared out of instinctive panic as she whirled around to face the accuser. There was a wolf here, a female, but one taller and more muscular than her -- and her wildly tracking eyes immediately focused in on the weapon the stranger wore, some sort of sword. Quickly dropping the sprouts to the ground, Coli took several stumbling paces backwards, stammering her apology.

"Ahh, I didn't know they p-posted a guard here! S-sorry, I wasn't stealing anything, I'll put them all back," she swallowed, blue eyes shining with fear and mistrust. There was already a great deal of guilt weighing her down, now it simply had a reason to spill out into the open. Maybe there were still Dreamers living here after all, ones who would fiercely protect their territory from looters whether they had an official pack or not. There was no way she could fight off someone like this, a lean swordswoman who clearly devoted her life to slicing up good-for-nothings like Coli. This was no one she recognized, no former packmate who would take pity on her. She crouched low to the ground, ready to sprint for the open field if the stranger made a move to attack.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, an erratic tempo that left her dizzy with anxiety. Her instinct to flee had always been a strong one, overriding her common sense whenever she felt the slightest bit in danger. Sometimes she would defend herself, if she felt like she had the right to, but in this case she was trespassing and her life was forfeit. Slowly, though, her hackles began to smooth out, her shallow breathing evening out to a more regulated pace. The stranger had already apologized, offering her open palms as a show of good faith. The sword remained at her belt, safely sheathed. Coli reluctantly straightened her posture, still eying the cinnamon-furred wolf with suspicion in case it was a ploy. She had been tricked before, and it was hard to trust someone who so clearly carried herself as a warrior.

"I... used to live here as well. Two winters ago." Coli answered tersely, ears swiveling for any sound of an accomplice entering the orchard. She still did not recognize the younger female, although now that she took into account the feminine blouse and skirt she was sporting, it began to seem less like an ambush and more like an honest coincidence. There was nothing roguish about the swordswoman's clear intonation, and there was integrity in her sea green eyes. Colibri's defensive energy began to fade into a surliness, the attitude she had adopted as a loner to repel those who would harass her.

Wiping the dirt from her palms onto her sides, she added, "I helped take care of this orchard, for a little while, at least. I heard the pack disbanded, so... figured I'd see for myself." It wasn't entirely untrue, though Coli had learned of Crimson Dreams dispersing only days after it happened, since she had been in the area. She just didn't want to tell a complete stranger how much it had hurt her.

"I was just gathering some seedlings and cuttings... I can't stay here, but I might try to start a little orchard elsewhere. That's all I was doing." She was trying to convince herself as much as the interrogator; it felt like stealing, even if no one haunted this place anymore. She knew she'd regret it if she left without anything to remind her of her home here, but the guilt she felt over having run away from her responsibilities was back in full force. The closest she had come to apologizing had been her conversation with Alder, Anu's son, and he encouraged her to forgive herself first. She did not know how.

And then, without knowing it, the swordswoman spoke the name that stopped Coli's heart. She grew perfectly still, breath caught on her lips, trying not to show the electric energy that had just jolted through her at the mention of... Anu. That name was never far from Coli's thoughts; it had become an obsession, echoing in the back of her thoughts, silently judging her every action as though the woman was standing over her shoulder. All of her guilt, fears, and shame were personified by that name; leaving had been the worst mistake of her miserable life, and she had never stopped regretting it. There was no one else like Anu; no one in this lonely world that could measure up to the mental image she held onto, and therefore no one that could make her happy. It took a long moment before she could find her voice again, coaxing her numb lips to form the words she needed to say. "Yes. I was with Anu in the orchard..." Sunlight and sweetness, that was what she remembered best. Now it was tainted, a bitter recollection of what she had ruined. She was poison.

This woman knew Anu... Of course she did, if she had been a part of Crimson Dreams, but Coli was suddenly riveted to the words that followed. Anu and her sons had moved to Berwick. Berwick, that was part of Dahlia de Mai -- or it had been, at least, and that was where Deuce Rhiannon had her cabin, and Coli had lived with little Willow and shy Taliesin, and started the flower garden, and Henratha had built a greenhouse just for her... Had Anu chosen it for that reason, since she had visited there before? No, no, that was nonsense, Anu didn't care about her anymore. She had a real family. Sons, even; Coli had met Alder and questioned him about everything under the sun except his siblings. If she hadn't left... they could have been Coli's sons, too. Colibri was so distracted by her buzzing thoughts that she almost missed the most important tidbit; this woman had been invited to live with them.

A stricken look shone in her wide blue eyes, desperate and jealous and hopeless. What made this warrior woman so special that she got to share a roof with Anu? And why, why had Coli squandered her own chances away? She leaned heavily against the tree trunk behind her, feeling dizzy again. If there had been no tree, she would have probably collapsed into the dirt. "How... how is Anu? Is she all right... since the pack disbanded?" Coli asked faintly, fingers brushing the small pendant she wore around her neck. It was a gift from her new packmates, and she needed the reminder that she had someplace to go, that people would miss her if she ran off to become a stalker in Berwick. "And how is the new orchard coming along?" She quickly added, trying to mask her obvious intentions. She always felt like people saw right through her when it came to Anu, since she was unable to quell the compulsive feelings within her. Maybe that was why she had come all this way for her seedlings, when she could have located a closer grove of apple trees and saved herself the trip. Maybe it wasn't about closure at all.

She was so fixated that she almost missed the casual question, and it took her a moment to get back on track. "Cuttings... oh, cuttings, right. Apple trees can be cut into pieces, and those pieces can become trees of their own. It's harder to do right, though, usually easier to graft them onto a different tree..." She trailed off, not realizing that she would probably have to explain grafting as well. She knew where Anu was. She could see her anytime. Alder had encouraged her to, though she didn't have the heart to explain the true nature of her relationship... and why it would be so complicated to show her face at Crimson Dreams again. But Crimson Dreams was gone now. Maybe she should. No, Anu must be happier without her, she didn't want to hurt her again. And she had never met Oak or the third tree son, they would surely not grant her admission to their group. Conflict roiled within her, the new information playing out over and over.

Coli was a coward. If she had a single brave bone in her body, she would have sought out Anu long before now simply for closure; she needed to apologize for leaving, and ask once and for all if there was any chance of reconciliation between the two of them. If the answer was no, Coli could move on with her life, but she was still stuck -- fixated on the beautiful gardener that had plucked her away from the Dahlian pack and promised her a happily ever after ending. It was her cowardice that had ruined their time together, and it was still controlling her life, pushing her away from any chance of confrontation. But here was an opportunity to set something in motion... outright rejection was too terrifying, but she could indirectly make her presence be known.

Her palms were clammy with nervous sweat, and she struggled to keep her voice from trembling. "My name... is Colibri Haki, I'm part of the northern pack Vinátta now. If things don't work out at the orchard for any reason... your company will be welcome with us." There, she said it! Saul and Lilin would be proud of her, promoting their fledgeling pack to friendly loners. And more importantly, her own selfish desires had been fulfilled; there was a chance, however slim, that she could see Anu again on her own turf, where her confidence would not be trampled by her anxiety issues. Of course, it was unlikely... if everyone was pouring so much effort into the Berwick orchard, why would they want to uproot themselves again? Especially for the likes of her, the deserter... but at least it was some sort of progress, as opposed to sitting around all day fantasizing about a reunion that could never be.

"I'm glad to hear things are going well, though... It came as a surprise to learn Crimson Dreams was no longer, and I was worried for everyone," she admitted quietly, feeling a shade more relaxed around the swordswoman now that they had opened up to each other. The lean werewolf knelt in the dirt, scooping up the seedlings she had dropped in her panic before. They had not bruised, so they were still good candidates for the journey back. She walked back to where her bag was hanging, gingerly placing the little sprouts inside with a handful of soil to tide them over.

She glanced back to the former Dreamer, Anu's companion, searching her face for any emotional cues. Oak was the name she had been given; did that mean she was closer to the tree sons than the mother? She didn't... have feelings for Anu, did she? That seemed improbable, but it wasn't like she could read someone's preferences just by looking into their eyes. Even if it felt like her own private feelings were always scrawled across her face in bold print. "So... you don't know much about plants, then? Do you like learning about their care?" Coli tilted her head, genuinely curious. It had always fascinated her, because it allowed her to put her nurturing instincts to use, and let her feel useful since the garden depended on her care. But it seemed like other wolves had interests of a more practical nature; hunting, fighting, raising children. It was somewhat rare to find another with a green thumb.

Her offer was met with a friendly smile, and it relieved some of the tension that had been building up in Coli's mind. It had taken tremendous effort to put herself out there like that, to let a stranger know her name and residence in the hopes that word would trickle down to Anu. Whether anything would be set into motion by this chance encounter, it seemed unlikely, but at least there was now a thin ray of hope filtering through what had only been gloom before. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Cassia," Coli replied automatically, nodding in response to the swordswoman's bow. This Cassia, she was no doubt a fearless warrior, resting her hand with familiar ease on the hilt of her weapon. Coli did not have a fraction of her courage, but she had still taken an important step towards facing her guilt, and perhaps one day redeeming herself in Anu's eyes. She felt a slight shudder of relief, releasing the stiffness she held in her shoulders, the wariness in her posture.

The irrational jealousy was also beginning to lessen as Cassia revealed that she had not been a Dreamer for long, perhaps a month's time. They could have been packmates together if Coli had followed Alder's advice and sought her old home in Crimson Dreams. Pure chance lead her instead to follow her half-sister and the Stormbringer family to the north. And perhaps that was lucky, if the southern pack was doomed to fall apart whether she was with them or not. "It's such a pity, this land is still so beautiful," she murmured, genuinely upset that the closely knit families had deserted. Her own time there had been soured by the war and the collapse of her only romantic relationship, but she bore no ill will towards the pack itself. The landmarks she had passed on her way here had invoked such a heartbreaking sense of nostalgia. "Did you say it was Anu's decision...? What... happened, exactly?" She asked softly, startled by the revelation. She did not know the circumstances, but Anu had always been fiercely loyal to Savina and the home they protected together. Something must have happened to the Marino leader if Anu was solely in charge. Coli caught her breath, silently hoping the black-furred woman and her brood were alright. Savina had always been intimidating to Coli, but certainly didn't deserve any ill fate.

The handful of sprouts were safely nestled into her bag, and Coli knelt again, brushing her fingers through the velvety soil to search for more. She knew from experience that moving plants was traumatic for them, and many of them could end up dying despite her best efforts. It would be better to find as many as she could, especially since she would likely not be returning here. It was just too sad to see the years of Anu's efforts unraveling, being reclaimed by the wilderness. "If you'd like to learn more, I suppose... I could show you how to take a cutting? I might need your help with that anyway, I don't have a knife... or a sword," she added with a faint smile, gesturing towards the cinnamon wolf's blade. Coli generally used her claws for tasks like pruning buds or cropping leaves, but admittedly a tool such as that sword would be better suited for hewing out wood. "You could bring a few back with you as a gift, because they can be grafted to the trees in your new orchard..." That way they could keep a piece of their home with them, just like Coli was doing.

Colibri listened quietly to the taller female, her words upsetting but delivered with a calm authority. Coli nodded, accepting the explanation. The Marino family had returned to their homeland of Italy... at least they would be happy there, even if it was disconcerting to think of Savina leaving Anu's side. Was... she lonely? Did the gathering at Berwick fulfill her needs, or could she be sad? Coli sighed, struggling to push the obsessive thoughts from her mind. It wasn't fair to be this hung up on someone from her past, not when dissolving their union had been her fault entirely. "Thank you," she intoned, grateful at least for the information, even if the cinnamon-furred swordswoman would not understand why it was so important for her to know.

There was an elegant but deadly grace in the way Cassia handled her blade; the metal flashed and shone white in the sunlight, illuminating the edges sharper than any claws or fangs. Coli shivered, entranced by the sight of the sword being drawn and brandished. There was no doubt in her mind that Cassia could cut her down before she could run away, and it took her nervous mind some time to override the powerful instinct to turn tail and flee. This time, though, her weapon would be used to propagate life. Finally Coli swallowed the lump in her throat, smiling weakly at her willing apprentice.

"You... you'll want new growth, not the older branches, so feel them like this..." She raised her arms to run her fingers delicately along the branches above her, feeling for the buds of new leaves forming. The younger bark was smoother, the branches thinner and more supple. When she located one, she nodded to Cassia, pointing just below one of the fresh new leaves. "Usually you want them shorter than your forearm," she added, "And you can plant that directly in the soil. If you make sure it stays damp and gets lots of sun, it will put out roots." Apple trees were remarkable in that way, able to grow in so many different ways. They could even be fused together from pieces of different trees, a trick Coli was about to share.

"Grafting is when you take these new cuttings, and instead of planting them, you attach them to a different tree. They heal together like a broken bone." It was an apt metaphor, since the grafted branches would even be splinted and bandaged like bones were. Then, someday, the patient gardener would be rewarded with a tree where every branch bore a different strain of fruit. Anu had taught her much of this; trees were her lifeblood, more than anything else. If Coli had a specialty, it would lie with flowers, particularly those with vulnerary or virulent qualities. She knew which leaves would heal a wolf and which would poison them, and she had administered them in both capacities. She did not have the steady patience and unending kindness that Anu shared with her trees. She knew she could never measure up. "Anu can show you that, I'm sure... she has a real gift with trees."