Fate or Mistake?
#1
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Fear, anxiety, stress, and most of all, joy. Hotaru placed her hand upon her slightly swollen belly, feeling the curves and life that resided within her. She was sure there weren't many, but the exact number was a mystery to the blind female. Hotaru sat on her bed and let the wave of emotions wash away the world.

Ever since Hotaru had realized that she was pregnant (just after the ball), the grey wolf had hidden herself away from the world. The first wave of morning sickness had hit her like a ton of bricks, and had lasted far longer than she would have cared for. Once the morning sickness had abated, it was replaced by rapid mood swings; yet another symptom that she hated. Even so, the idea of having puppies of her own...it was kind of exciting. Hotaru love puppies, but she was scared. Could she be a good mother? What of Levent? Would they become mates? The idea of bonding to Levent in such a permanent fashion scared her. What if he broke her heart like all the others? What if she needed him?

Hotaru was not so confident in her hunting abilities that she could look forward to the added burden with ease. Hotaru had managed to hunt for herself and Kelia. However, it was not the same as caring for puppies. Fawkes had been enough to look after Tehu and Kelia, but he would not do when it came to taking care of a wolf litter. Hotaru's body shook lightly as a fresh wave of fear doused her like cold water.

At last, the pregnant female stood from her resting spot. Her oustretched hand curled around the familiar wooden staff and she made her way towards the front door for the first time in a month. Hotaru inhaled deeply before she took the final over the threshold of her house. Fawkes and Kelia were out on the roof sunning themselves and Hotaru called down to them. Kelia flew down to the carving rock while Fawkes took his normal place on her left shoulder. Now that Kelia was older, she ha grown fonder of her wolf master. Hotaru suspected that she would never share as deep a bond with the white falcon as she did with the red-tailed hawk, but the new level of trust was enough to be satisfying.

Carefully, Hotaru made the uncomfortably short trip to the Turkish male's house. She strode up to the dwelling, but paused before reaching the door. How could she even think about seeing him? It was a mistake for her to have ever left the house. Hotaru tried to turn around but Fawkes squawked in her ear and Kelia protested from the roof. They pressed her on in low speech, each offering a strange mix of encouragement and insults. At last, the female turned and strode up to the door. She raised her tail and straightened her shoulders as if she was demanding the infernal piece of wood to submit to her. With an air of defiance, the pregnant female pounded on the door before she shrank back and regretted ever leaving her house.

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#2
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judgmental wilson face =O.O=


His mind had been wrapped up in a lot of things lately, from helping around the pack to the ball with their allies to her. He was not very efficient at multitasking, however, and so the result was a rather daydreamy Commesso who didn’t quite understand how he’d been promoted in such a short time. Or had it really been all that short? Cercatori d’Arte felt more like a home to him now, so he guess that time didn’t really matter. He had just enough responsibility to feel useful, a safe place for his best friend to roam around, and dreams of a pretty face to get him through the nights.

The brown wolf drowsily rolled over on the old mattress, and its argumentative creak was enough to wake the light sleeper tucked up against him. A quiet mew of protest left the feline, who blinked hazy amber eyes open then lifted his head, his paws tucked against his white chest. He purred quietly and licked a tuft of tousled fur on the luperci’s shoulder before resting his chin there, his half-closed eyes fixed in an expression of pure bliss.

It was all shattered in a heartbeat; a pounding on the door made the cat spring up onto his friend’s back, claws digging in enough to make Levent jerk awake and nearly send the tom flying. He instinctively opened his arms for Wilson to snuggle into, his dark ears twisting toward the door. In all his time since settling into the stone house, he couldn’t really say he’d had a visitor. This hut had been his and Wilson’s private chamber, where they could hang out undisturbed—something that became more and more precious since the man became involved with the others in his pack.

Geliyorum! Levent called, forgetting his English for a moment as he scrambled to pull a pair of shorts on. His dark hair was messy and everywhere, untamed by the cloth that rested on the half-rotten nightstand. He swept his bangs out of his eyes, regretting his catnap, and walked to the door with Wilson creeping curiously at his heels.

The dark-haired man pulled the door open, his pale blue eyes landing on a familiar reddish-streaked face. His own brightened immediately, full of sunshine, mirrored in his warm greeting: “Hi, Hotaru. What’s up?” The quiet thudding of his tail hitting the doorframe in a sweeping wag betrayed his gladness and hope; ever since their little liaison, it was all he could do not to think about her for a few hours, wondering if their relationship would change positively as a result.

Levent was happy, and oblivious, until the tomcat squeezed between his legs and stared at the soft swell of the woman’s belly.

“Bloody fucking hell,” Wilson deadpanned.


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#3
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out of character here


The timber female wasn't sure how to approach Levent with the subject of her...change. Was she supposed to be proud like her normal self? More so? Was it even appropriate to discuss this with him? Should she feel ashamed for being so loose? Hotaru, who normally tried to hide her emotions behind a mask of confidence, couldn't help but fidget nervously as she heard approaching footsteps. Hotaru let her hands drop in front of her slightly swollen belly and hold her staff between them, as if the thin limbs could hide her status. Even so, just feeling the bump brought about a sense of joy. She was going to be a mother.


From inside, an unintelligible word managed to seep through the wood and irritated Hotaru. Why did Levent have to say things she couldn't understand. Sighing, Hotaru closed her useless amber eyes while she attempted to calm jittery nerves. She heard his approach, and heard the creaking of the door, yet his words were like sunshine and make her jump a little. Nervously, Hotaru looked down as she tried to conceal a smile. Why did that simple sentence make her so happy? It wasn't like they had anything special between them, just a one night stand that had some serious consequences. Hotaru decided that the hormones of pregnancy were impairing her judgement and that she should know better than to listen to her beating heart. He might be the father of her puppies, but that was mere coincidence...nothing more.


Wilson's comment shattered any happiness that the blind female felt and her head rose with a frown. "Good to see you too Wilson." His lack of tact and rude bluntness made her temper soar and Hotaru didn't even try to conceal her newfound distaste for the cat. "Good day, Levent. I hope I didn't bother you, but I wish to talk to you on a matter of extreme importance. May I come in where we could speak more...privatly?" Hotaru still kept her hand firmly over her belly, praying that it wouldn't startle the male.


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#4
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out of character


Levent was not the most subtle person in the world when he liked someone, but he also had the firm belief that there was no point in hiding something like that. He boldly accosted anyone beautiful or handsome or otherwise fiery and bright and memorable enough for him to be attracted to them, because he knew he had nothing to lose. Either they’d return his affections or they’d decline, and Lev knew it was worth it either way. In the case with Hotaru, the fact that he’d already slept with her made his broader attraction to her a little more complicated, but he was nothing if not adaptive.

As such, the man was pleased and grinned more broadly when she dipped her muzzle down quickly. He leaned against the doorframe, his posture confident and casual, and opened his mouth to say something stupid when the tomcat spoke. Irritation flashed across the wolf’s face, only because Wilson was never like this; he had been aggressive toward him during his liaison with Amy, and the other times that Lev made a fool of himself, but that had more justified than his friend being glad to see a woman.

Kendinizi üzerinden alın, Wilson,” the man hissed to the cat, who stared annoyingly coolly back at him before squeezing out the door. Cold blue eyes watched him go, and he frowned darkly as he leaned against the frame once more, troubled for a moment until he looked back at the woman.

“I’m sorr—” Levent began, his tone apologetic, but Hotaru spoke up first. Her words brooked immediate concern, and his ears swiveled forward as he searched her face for any sign—neglecting to search any lower than that to the hand on her stomach. Anxiety crept up his spine, remembering the few other times someone had asked to speak privately with him—with words like “baban öldü,” and “we are finished, agapi mou.” Had the woman had the gift of sight, she would have seen his crestfallen expression, the scrawny slumped shoulders indicating that he anticipated the worst.

“Come inside,” the Turkish man murmured, stepping back to give her room. “Fifteen steps angled slightly to he left is my bed to sit—well, maybe less than that; you’re taller than me.” His attempt at humor did little to coat the resigned worry in his voice, but he was at least trying not to be a downer. The male was really so oblivious as to have no idea what she’d come for.



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#5
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Sorry, had to milk Levent's worry XD.


Hotaru wasn't used to feeling shy. Even before she lost her vision, no one had ever accused her of being a shy creature. Yet, here she was, standing before Levent whom she had spent a single night with and smiling towards her feet like a love struck pup. On top of that, she was standing before him pregnant with his pups. The situation really couldn't get any worse or any better for that matter. Hotaru was going to be mother.


Although she couldn't understand Levent's words, the tone of voice and name attached to them made his meaning clear. Wilson and Hotaru weren't buddies, but that didn't mean he had to say something so blunt and rude. Hotaru glared at the tomcat through the darkness. The blind female listened as his soft paws almost inaudibly receded into the distance. She was glad that annoying cat was gone. Hotaru didn't want him around during her bound to be stressful and extremely private conversation with Levent.


More than anything, the pregnant female wanted to get off the street. She didn't want to be seen in her condition and was quick to interrupt Levent when he tried to apologize. No more dancing. To her evident surprise, the male's normally chipper voice had become crestfallen as he invited into his home. He sounded as if he had resigned himself to some unspeakable horror. Hotaru, suddenly very concerned and in no mood to hide it, stepped tentatively inside his house.


Though he had not lived in the house long, it smelled like him. The male's musk sent Hotaru's heart fluttering. She kept trying to tell herself that it was the pregnancy hormones, or perhaps it was just his presence. Hotaru never felt like herself around Levent, always filled with fire and passion. Her threw her off her game, or always seemed to find her in situations that tested her strength of character.


The grey female found his bed with only minimal trouble and great fully sunk into its soft embrace. When she was settled, Hotaru set her walking staff next to her and put her hands on her lap. "Levent...I...the thing is...." Words caught in the female's mouth as she tried to put her thoughts, her questions into an audible form. What should she say? Hotaru wasn't the type to blurt things out, especially when they were so painfully obvious. Truth be told, she was still in a state of shock. Hotaru should have expected the outcome of their night together, especially because she was in heat. Yet, it somehow didn't seem possible.


At last, Hotaru was able to find her words. "Levent. We need to discuss our relationship. I need to know your feelings on the recent...developments." Hotaru wasn't talking about their one night stand. Those happen and she had experienced them before. It was the other development that she was referring to and wasn't quite ready to say it aloud.


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#6
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Haha. I was gonna drag it out too, but then I
decided not to... >_> Also you are my museeeee.



The timber woman walked into his home under very different circumstances than he might have liked. He would have imagined inviting her in with an annoying flourish and some even more annoying Turkish niceties, and then swapping life stories while drinking tea and teasing Wilson, and then maybe making use of the bed she now sank onto. It wasn’t in great condition, a bit too soft and probably mouse-eaten, but he preferred it to the hard ground or some of the more flea-infested mattresses he’d slept on in the more shoddy inns. After some hesitation, he took a seat beside her, twiddling his thumbs with his ears still low.

If he didn’t dread her words before, Levent was dreading them now. He’d seen Hotaru in quite a few emotional states, but he was afraid to hear the hesitation in her voice, the fact that she was having trouble speaking the words. He couldn’t imagine the fierce, confident female faltering in her speech.

Blue eyes slid to the floor, and he waited in silence, not pressing her, too afraid to press her to come out with the news sooner. He wasn’t sure he’d want to know. He wanted to just curl up in a ball, honestly, or blow his ears off so he didn’t need to hear any bad news ever again, or—

His name drew his head back up, his attention on her. His heart thumped hard against his chest when she mentioned their “relationship,” which meant that they had something between them, and he tried quickly to find words in English for what he felt around her. That was the answer he jumped to, his mind not quite following her train of thought; although of course, the man who failed to see that she was blind could fail to see these other signs.

“I like you,” Levent said at last, not quite blurting the words; they were fully intentional but seemed to come all of a sudden anyway. “I think you’re beautiful; your eyes are beautiful.” He wondered if that was the right thing to say, or if mention of her eyes would bother her. It didn’t matter. “You’re independent and fiery and passionate, and… I admire you, I really do.” He looked at her, realized that this gesture would be rather meaningless, and went back to looking slightly to the side as that made him more comfortable. “I mean, I don’t believe in love at first sight or anything crazy like that, but… I like you, a hell of a lot, and I want to get to know you more and spend time with you, and I—”

His blue eyes happened to chance upon her lovely face, sliding down her lovely neck and chest to a slightly rounded stomach. And then the epiphany came. He made a weird sound that couldn’t quite become a word. He might have sworn in Turkish, a quiet oath of disbelief and shock.

Then his face sank into his hands, elbows propped on his legs. His fingers buried in his dark hair, and he heaved a great breath, letting it out as “Almighty God, you’re pregnant.”

There was silence. He tried to track his thoughts, and he found that he couldn’t form anything concrete. He dwelled momentarily on the act that created the puppies in her belly, the whole biological reason it existed, and he found that he should not be surprised that she’d conceived. He wondered if they were really his, and then he decided that whatever he felt, he did not want them to be someone else’s, and she probably knew he was the father anyway if she’d come to him.

Levent breathed, deep, in and out, rhythmic and slow. “Hotaru,” he said at last, his voice strangely calm and steady. “Is this a good thing for you? Do you want them?”



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#7
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Muse! Love this thread


The pregnant female cursed herself silently for being so hesitant. She was normally much better at hiding her emotions. Hotaru normally walked around, cool and confident. Her pride was as high as her tail and she normally demanded respect from those around her. It wasn't like Hotaru didn't often feel worried, scared, or lonely. She was just good at hiding her feelings from the world. Yet the turbulent hormones of pregnancy shattered her mask, allowing all of her uncollected and nervous feeling to show.


Hotaru could feel the bed depress as Levent joined her on the old mattress. As she tried to find her words, a single red ear flicked towards the male and she slowly massaged the back of her hand. Honestly, the pregnant female didn't know what she had with Levent. She had something, that was sure. But what it was, she just couldn't figure out. Hotaru was sure they weren't lovers. A one night stand didn't count, especially not when heat was involved. However, Levent wasn't an ordinary male. He had...something. Whenever he was around, Hotaru acted differently. On top of that, they had met several times and their interactions had created life. Levent wasn't normal, but the grey female couldn't call him her mate or lover. There was more needed. Not a physical interaction, but an emotional one; and the very idea frightened Hotaru.


Levent's words weren't shocking, but Hotaru wasn't expecting them. To hear him admit his feeling for her and call her eyes beautiful, it took her off guard. Especially the comment about her eyes. What use were eyes if they couldn't see? Even so, the pregnant female couldn't bring herself to hate the comment. Her lips turned up into a sheepish smile and she ducked her head as if too look at her hands.


The sudden pause in the male's speech made Hotaru's heart freeze, both dreading and anticipating what he would say next. No words came, just a sound that sounded as shocked as Hotaru felt. When words did come, they made the pregnant female's heart sink. He wasn't happy. She knew he wasn't happy, and why should he be? It wasn't like they had trying to have puppies, or even thinking about it at the time. However, they should have foreseen the outcome. Hotaru's pregnancy was the obvious and almost unavoidable outcome of their actions. So why was it so shocking?


Red ears fell back and Hotaru felt like she wanted to cry. An awkward silence spread between the two wolves. The mother-to-be didn't dare to speak and all she wanted to do was hide herself in her house and never leave. Suddenly, the silence was broken. Levent's calm and collected voice drifted towards her and her ears raised slightly. There was only one answer to his question, "Yes, I want them. To bear a litter of my own is like a dream come true, but... I have no confidence in myself to raise a litter of pups. How can I take care of them, when I can't even see their faces? How can I keep them safe if I can't spot the dangers? I... I can't do this alone."



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#8
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Instapost for you! And I think we can just end our other thread;
it's at a pretty good spot and I don't know what else to write for it.



Just as he had done before honestly confessing his feelings to her, Levent looked deep inside of him and poked and prodded at the tendrils of emotion there, trying to see how he felt. At the core of it all was a dull shock, but there wasn’t anything stronger than that: no pain, no anger, no heart-wrenching regret about his part in all this. He took that as a good sign, a sign that he would be able to handle whatever emotions did pop up in place of them.

The Turkish man had probably avoided problems like this before, dumping responsibility on others or simply freeing himself from it by waltzing away like nothing had happened. Most of the time he moved too quickly to even realize what he was leaving behind, although now he wondered if there was another litter in the world that belonged to him from the various times he’d slept with those on his trade routes. On the positive side, at least roughly half those luperci couldn’t conceive except for through some huge miracle.

But there was no running away from this, even if he wanted to. Well, he might be able to abandon the pack and travel through the rest of the Western Hemisphere long enough to be forgotten, but that would have been a waste. And he didn’t want to run away from Hotaru, anyway.

Something in his silence had upset her; maybe she’d mistaken his shock for frustration or something. Anyway, her ears dipped back, until he spoke and she answered him, desperation in her words if not fully in her tone.

He watched her, blue eyes flickering over her face, taking in every tiny detail. He was silent until she concluded, and then he reached out slowly. One arm snaked around her shoulders, pulling her perhaps a little closer to him, but she could easily shrug away if she wanted to. His other hand reached for hers, taking her silver fingers in his cream ones.

“I would never ask,” Levent said, “for you to raise these pups alone.”

If she hadn’t shrunk away from him, the hand on her shoulder would rub gently across her back in a constant, comforting motion. He managed to smile, and he hoped that she’d somehow be able to tell he was smiling.

“If you want them, I want them,” the wolf continued more confidently. “I’ll be their father, or however much of a father you want me to be; I won’t push any boundaries.” He knew that their relationship would create some of these boundaries, since he still wasn’t completely sure where they’d stand on this—but at least she liked him enough, or she wouldn’t have come to him for any of this (without a dagger pointed at his chin and demanding child support payments or something like that).

“But you’ll have to name them,” he concluded, and at last he sounded like he was smiling. “Because I suck at naming things, and I know you don’t like Turkish, so I know you won’t want them to be named Yusuf or Koray or Nurgül.”

Wilson was going to kill him when he came back home.



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#9
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Sounds good! Pups are due early august.


For perhaps the millionth time, Hotaru wished desperately that she could see again. She wanted to know what Levent looked like, what expressions he was making. Would he be okay helping her raise the pups? Would he even care? What if he rejected her and left her alone with the pups? What if he hated her? Hotaru wanted to sit in a corner and cry. She wanted time to feel sorry for herself and weep in joy that she had conceived a litter. At the tender age of three, she was going to be a mother.


A comforting hand came to rest on her shoulder and rather than push Levent away, Hotaru leaned in. She closed her unseeing eyes and let him sweetly embrace her. Their finger's wrapped together and the grey female gently gave him a squeeze. She was scared, but happy. Puppies were different from others. They would be hers, and would forever be a part of her. They would love her eternally. That was what Hotaru needed, a permanent relationship with another, something that could never be broken.


As Levent spoke, a smile returned to Hotaru's face. His joke even made her laugh. It wasn't that the blind female hated turkish, it was that foreign languages frustrated her. She had a limited connection with the outside world and if she couldn't understand what a wolf was saying it made things even more difficult. "No naming for you then."


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