The house was quiet, but he knew she was in here. Since she'd moved in, there had been a feminine touch to the house that had been missing before and Saul had to admit that he was somewhat glad for the soft satins and silks his belle had hoarded and brought over. The furs that usually adorned his bed had been laid out on the top of the mattress and acted as another sort of mattress guard, while the male was more than happy to indulge himself and lie between the silks. He often thought there was still a lot of work to do on the house, but there were more pressing matters at hand, like the village. Right now, however, his mind refused to settle on anything other than the list of symptoms Colibri had given him. Lilin fit almost none of these- her appetite had grown exponentially over the past couple of weeks.


Her gentle coo and the thump of what he could only imagine her tail caused a happy grin to slip over his lips. His mind was in turmoil, but he couldn't help the flash of happiness that washed through him whenever she was around. He didn't hesitate to make his way to their bedroom, grey tail swishing back and forth in excitement. He entered the room and allowed a small chuckle to escape him as he spotted the bundle of Lilin shaped silks. He wasted no time in clambering up onto the bed and attempting to pull her closer. He would never tire of coming home to find her here already waiting, although he had noticed that she seemed to prefer the comfort of their bed to almost anything else at the moment.


Hey beautiful, have you had a good day? He asked softly, hoping to relax a little with his mate. He knew that sometimes talking with Lilin was a bit difficult- she rarely displayed her true emotions on things but he hoped she would be able to open up a bit more with him.

It was easy enough to curl up with Lilin on the bed they shared together and he felt a sigh of relief as he settled down next to her. He couldn't help the almost absentminded way with which he stroked his belle's arms, relishing in just being able to touch her whenever and however he liked. Words probably couldn't describe how much relief he felt now that they no longer had to sneak around. They could show as much, or as little, of their relationship to the rest of the pack as they wished and know that they were secure in doing that. Her simple answer was met with a tightening of his lips as he tried not to laugh at her- she could be so closed off at times it was amusing. He was glad when she elaborated however, nodding softly and in the process nuzzling his head down and towards her neck. His hands had attempted a move to her waist in his shuffle closer. I'm glad you had a good time. He murmured softly, his voice low despite the normality of the words.


Their quiet conversation was a comfort to the male, who liked sharing aspects of his day with the woman he loved. Her next words caused a small nod to bob his head before her attempted the opportunity to nibble on her ear softly. Despite the pleasantness of this conversation, the lure of her body was never too far from his mind. We've got a lot of helpers, so we can get things moving quickly and have some of the stages complete in a day. He agreed, though the lacklustre tone of his voice said that he would rather not be discussing the village hall. Curling his hand around her waist, Saul made to move his hand across her belly, hoping to catch the edge of her dress with it to pull it open.


His hands froze as her words registered and he winced softly. His traumatic meeting with Colibri a few days prior had haunted the male, but more than that he'd found it incredibly difficult to keep the information to himself. Lilin was his closest confident, his co-leader besides, but he'd had to respect Colibri's wishes to keep it to herself. He couldn't help feeling a weight lifted from his shoulders- he was grateful she'd chosen to tell Lilin sooner rather than later. Not for the first time, his mind flitted uncomfortably to comparing his mate to Colibri, picking up on the strong similarities. He always managed to remind himself that Lilin was ravenous where Coli uninterested in food, though this minor difference wasn't enough to eradicate his worries. I'm sorry baby... she made me promise and I didn't want to abuse that trust. He spoke softly, his reasoning logical at least.

The press of his mates body against his own never failed to incite a more sensual response from him. The need to hold her closer was always there and when his arms and torso had exceeded their capabilities of holding her just a fraction of an inch closer, it was really up to more vital organs to help achieve the closeness he was looking for. And as yet, she'd been as response as he'd loved to see. Lilin wasn't usually one to reveal anything more about herself than was absolutely necessary, but it was in these moments of sexual closeness that a more sensual, fluid Lilin came out. He couldn't help the grin as he remembered her dirty mouth when he'd been unable to stop himself from lapping at her. Lust filled his body at these thoughts and his tug became a touch more insistent.


It was then that the realisation kicked in, her tense body and the rigid hold she had on her pareo. He paused, green eyes darkened with lust looking up to spot the uncomfortable look in his mates own blues. When her own hand came up, little fingers wrapping around his wrist to halt his movements, confusion crumpled his features. Lili...? Whats wrong? He questioned quietly, before her own quite answer to his previous words caused a gentle nod to dip his head. His mind on the other hand was racing, trying to think of possible reasons for her halting movements.


He didn't know why he did it, perhaps it was an instinctual movement. But he slipped his hand out from Lilin's grasp in one quick movement, his other hand coming up in an attempt to hold her still. In a practised movement, he made to roll his hand over the flat of her stomach, feeling the choked gasp more than hearing it. He'd examined Colibri a day prior and he knew what he was looking for. The hardening of his mates stomach, not a bump but the beginnings of something. You're pregnant? It was supposed to be a statement, but the higher intonation at the end turned it more into a question than anything. Rearing up and onto his knees, Saul hovered over his mate, green eyes wavering between hope, joy and fear.

Expertly skilled hands rolled across the stomach of his mate and the telltale hardness there had caused a gasp to escape him. It was nothing compared to the recoil caused by the unexpected growl of his own name. Green eyes searched blue and he thought he saw anger in their depths. He did, of course, realise then what he'd done and he recoiled further, hands clenching as tension rolled through his body. I'm sorry, Lili... I didn't mean to intrude. He offered softly, a placating sound that was reflected in the regretable look in his eyes. He wasn't exactly one to push boundaries, to nose himself in where he wasn't wanted. Of course, there were always exceptions and he was a little more confident with Lilin that he was with others.


Her feeble denial held no conviction and he felt green eyes hardening for a moment. She was trying to deny it, when they both knew it was true. Her own blues searched his own and he knew that, reflected in his own was a wary disbelief. She clearly wasn't happy and a moment later a painful lance of doubt washed through him. Did she want these pups? Did she not love him enough to bear his children? Was she ashamed? Her next words, a confused mixture of affirmation and doubt. Still hovering over her, Saul felt his body moving back until he sat on the bed, legs curled awkwardly around her own.


Were you going to tell me? He asked, arms wrapping loosely around his knees as he looked up through floppy dark hair. Do you want them? Came his last whisper, the pain in his voice evident. He had no idea what he would do if she answered 'no' to that question, it would be like getting kicked in the gut. Tension coiled in his belly and the set of his shoulders was tense, as if expecting a rebuff from her.

The temperature of their room seemed to plummet, even though logically Saul knew it hadn't actually happened. He felt cold though, seeing the despondency in his mate. Fear, real and cooling his body until a shiver broke out over him, slid down his spine, green eyes flickering across his mates well known face, searching for something in there, anything that could help him. It was perhaps in this moment that Saul thought about how young they were, how they never really knew how to deal with problems because, in the naivety of the youth, it was better to distract than to deal with it. When her eyes flickered away from his own, a deep frown marring her beautiful face, Saul felt his stomach clench softly. He felt a little relieved however when she spoke- even though the content was almost accusing, it was better than silence. The softest shake of his head was accompanied by the slightest of smiles- logically should would have had to tell him sooner or later, she would be showing soon. No, I guess you would have had to mention something... He offered, his tone subdued but attempting humour.


Of course, the next thought that seemed to catch Lilin's attention caused a look of disbelief to colour her blue eyes darker as she looked up at him. The question she asked erased all thoughts of humour from his features, in fact he felt as though his body had been plunged into water. The automatic shake of his head not enough to display his own disbelief. Never, Lilin. He spoke, voice firm before he dropped his head into both hands and scrubbed his face vigorously. That's not what I meant. He mumbled through his hands, pressing his fingers in to his closed eyes before her words caused him to look up. The uncertainty in her voice, the frustration that was evident when she spoke about Teme, the doubts she had about her own mothering abilities made Saul think of Colibri and he couldn't help the soft, wordless whine from his lips.


You're not a mother, Lilin. How could you know if you're 'Mother Material'? As for Teme, he is the most difficult child to talk to in the first place, everyone have problems having a conversation with him... except maybe Bran and Niernan. He admitted, knowing from his own experience that his son was more of a do-er than a thinker or a talker. He wasn't too worried about the boy, he seemed healthy enough both body and mind and Saul was certain he would know if there really was anything wrong with him. Thoughts of his son were forgotten when she spoke, two simple words that seemed to sum up the entirety of her feelings. This was her real cause for concern, her real reason for the apparent freak out.


Distantly. Was his knee jerk reaction, though he quieted when she spoke again, voicing more serious concerns. It had crossed his mind, once or twice, that their children might have problems. Of course, he wasn't a planner, but when Lilin had agreed to be hit mate and they'd consummated their partnership, it had been a secret fantasy of his, little Saul's and Lilin's running about. It hadn't been without worry, that their relation would cause them problems. He couldn't deny that they were valid concerns. I can't say it doesn't concern me... but Miskunn told us how distantly we were related and if there is anything wrong with them, we can deal with it. He was trying to reassure her, but knowing they had the same concerns wasn't going to help.