She had decided days ago that the rain would never leave, and she was set on being damp for as long as she lived. Clouds replaced blue shies and she had just about lost her need to miss the sun. Every so often she would look for the round orb she faithfully observed, and each time he would be hiding. Maybe he had forgotten the small insignificants that littered the planet beneath him, leaving them to freeze and wither into nothing.

It was hard for the tawny fey to hang around her home, not when her mind consistently thought about the snow colored female. If Anu had had her way they would never have left her den. Every time Anu entered it, it felt huge, to large for just one wolf to fill its walls with warmth. Still Anu clawed at the earth, making the space larger, as well as the void. She knew that there would be so many complications to her new relationship, but there was a very common need between them. Both needed each other, without question or judgment. They would address them when it became too much, the questions to large and the complications to imperative.

She gave her body little direction, letting it just take the rest of her where ever her paws stepped. Far from her home Anu had no true idea where she was, just knowing that she moved east. She did indeed love the valley, the ranch and her meadow; her pack was small but a family that she could rely on. It was hard to stop her wandering heart, and the once lone wolf needed to satisfy the itch she felt. Black nose sniffed the ground, sensing the water ahead of her. She turned north, away from Rabbit Lake, and from the territory of the female she so desperately wanted.

Anu had attempted to see Naniko, and instead had felt she was trespassing. There was one ever-present feeling that she could not suppress. She wondered if Naniko would not want to see her again, did not feel that same as Anu did and wanted to move on with her life. More of a fear then a feeling it made Anu seem weak and insignificant. She ran, four paws hitting the ground hard as they took her into a damp and dark forest. She ran from the fear and the possible rejection, heart still holding fast to the affection and possible love.

Through the trees a white figure stood so brilliantly against the foliage Anu could not have missed it even if she had tried. Stopping abruptly her jaw snapped closed, allowing her nose to work properly. Of course it was Naniko, there would no other that Anu would run all this way just to meet. Of course Anu would attempt to run from her, and then unknowingly sprint right into her arms. She took only a single moments thought before continuing along the narrow trail.

Among the vast forest this was whom she met, she smiled at the thought of fates work, all the while stalking the white fey. Anu noticed the growing belly that made her figure just that much more curvaceous. Silently Anu approached Naniko, stepping onto the large rock in which she basked. Her black nose trailed along her belly, planting small kisses all the way to her cheek.

Naniko sounded surprised to see her, as shocked as Anu had been to find her. She did sound taken aback, but not as if she was unhappy Anu was there or wanted to be alone, or as If she was meeting someone else. It was hard to miss the feeling on content that passed between them, settling all of their nerves. The longer Anu stood in her presence the more she felt she could be herself.

Laying down next her, she felt an odd urge to be lazy and lounge as Naniko had. She smiled again as she felt the kiss against her muzzle, another confirmation that Nainko was enjoying her company. Her voice was soft as usual, but held a passive undertone. “I visited your house.” More like a massive mansion, though Anu knew it only as a house, a human’s home. “I met a few from your family. It’s a lovely place.” In Phoenix Valley they were family, so why would it be different for Naniko?

Taking in a deep breath she found that they did smell very similar, but her scent did still hold something that made the sandy fey’s heart thump against her chest. Anu moved so that they touched, mixing their scent together even more. Naniko’s question had no real answer, unwilling to admit her insecurity. “Out for a run… and here you are.” She smiled wider blue eyes meeting jade. “I might have been looking for you.” She admitted with a little grin.

A piece of Anu, a very large piece, wanted to know for sure how Naniko felt. It was easy to read her body language, thumping tail, smiles and relaxed figure, but she didn’t want to read anything wrong. Anu wanted to be right, wanted to know right where she was and no further along the road, certainly not behind either. The questioned dominated her mind, but the wording would not arrange itself.

“They were wonderful.” So much so that Anu would happily follow her right back to the steps of the large house. Thankfully Naniko spoke more then she did, even being so relaxed and at ease it was still hard for her to express herself while around the alabaster fey. But every answer was yes. She would meet her at the house, the lake. Dive into the water and catch fish with her bare teeth and gut them with her claws. She would carry her up the stairs of her grand house when she was too tired to make the trip, and gladly take her to bed.

What she wanted, Anu would give.

Struck by the onslaught of a realization she laid silent for a moment, trying to recover without giving her confusion away. Finally she spoke, “I would love to see your room.” Hiding a wide smile, she moved quickly from the subject. “Catfish I think. Do you use your teeth? Or a rod?” Naniko would have to teach her if she did, not familiar with many human tools.

“I don’t catch much, just watch and wonder what it would be like to move so easily in my own world.” She rambled now, letting what ever came to mind out. She shut her mouth and rested her chin on the other’s side. For once she had no way of arranging the questions that raced through her brain.

Listening contently her eyes started the droop, soothed by her voice as well as her presence. As much as she wanted to watch her, Anu could not help but close her eyes and just let her thoughts meld with the words she spoke. She pictured the snow coated fey on two legs, green eyes watching the water, fishing pole in hand, long mane down her back and a smile always on her face. Anu was eager for the time when she would be able to shift, and she doubted Naniko would loose the glow her swollen belly gave her. No matter what her condition, in the blue-eyed girls vision, she would always shimmer.

Her last question made her ears flinch, eyes opened and watch her face. She turn her soft cheek so it could touch one of the softer parts of her stomach. They moved against her face, stretching against their crowded womb.

Smiling, Anu turned her head and placed a large ear against the colorless stomach, wondering if she could hear them too. Closing her eyes slightly again, she concentrated on the unborn wolves that grew inside. Keen ears picked up many different heart beats, their sound made her eyes open wide, slightly surprised she even heard anything. Keeping her ear still she tried to determine how many she actually heard. But they were faint and wove together and made it near impossible.

“Their strong.” Her voice low as if she would disturb a sleeping pup, without taking her ear of the round tummy she brought her brow up. “I’m not surprised.” He face grew serious, and she finally brought her head back to it original position. Chin touching her side gently she spoke, “They love you already, and haven’t even formally met you.”

When the words passed her mouth Anu instantly understood what she had been thinking. He would always be on her mind. He would dominate every thought that passed threw her mind and even if dead would never truly be gone. As much as Anu wanted him to disappear, and take his place in her thoughts, she knew that it would never happen. She knew from passed experience that she could never compete with a male that had wronged any female she hoped to love.

She would try, as hopeless as it might be Anu refused to give in to her own insecurities.
The happiness she felt just being with Naniko was enough to keep her in place, even if she would never be held at the same place as Conri had been, and heaven forbid still stayed. It was important that her pup know who their father was, even if she did not plan for him to be a large part of their life. Maybe one would hold his surname, just enough to understand his heritage, but have the call name of the rapist.

“Would you name one Conri?” The name left her tongue with a bitter taste. She remembered now how much she hated the beast she had never even met. She did not want Naniko to know her as a hateful wolf. Her eyes were pleading, wishing she could take the tone back, But part of her wanted to Naniko to know how she hated him. “His last name might be more fitting. Its important for them to know of their father.” She inhaled, letting it escape slowly.

There was so much history between them. And just from what Anu had heard so far it sounded like more history she had in her entire life. It was intimidating, but also gave a clear picture of Naniko’s loyalty. Faithfulness was something Anu was proud of, and was glad to share it with Naniko.

She composed herself, hardening her skin as she listened. All the names were foreign, but she held tight to them, ready to remember. She had even met one of the wolves she spoke of. Nothing, made her wonder. The usually calm fey made her opinion of this beast known, such a name for a truly worthless creature. Her body was relaxed, thinking about how many pups her friend would have, and how she liked Mati as a name as well. Even if it was Conri’s choice.

Her head moved to her soft white shoulder, eyes watching her talk. She was ready to respond, when Naniko’s next words left her speechless. Had she let her emotions play along her face? To often she let her feels flood her features for the world to interpret. Her head rose slowly from the shoulder, eyes watching her face for any hint of the words true meaning. But even her soft eyes gave Anu little to decipher. Stay with her here? At this moment? Or was she talking about tomorrow or the next day.

“If you want me to, I will stay.” Pausing to take a breath. “I want to.” It was all she could say for the moment, all that came to her mind, hoping it would allow her a few seconds of thought. Maybe she couldn’t always be there, but it was what she wanted. It was who she was; the need to please was so great that Anu could ignore her own pain until it killed her. She felt beyond selfish and ashamed for letting it show on her face.

“Only if you want me.” She spoke again, giving Naniko the option. She could send Anu away, with no hard feelings. It was her choice. If she wanted Anu then she would do what she could do stay at her side, but part of Anu knew that she was more attached then Naniko was. All she needed was a little encouragement, just a word that said she was doing what Naniko wanted, she wouldn’t survive without it.

Anu rose when she did, watching her jade eyes. She kept close, never breaking their contact. It was always hard to realize what she truly wanted. How she needed someone to be there, to be strong, steady and help face her fears. It was hard to put those things in words that made sense. All she had were the muddled feelings that were so strong they were as powerful as gravity, pulling her strait to Naniko.

It would be hard, when Naniko had so many other thing things to provide for and love. Anu would have to share her with so many. But she was ready, ready to share the heart that had wrapped itself so tightly around her own. All those things that she would have to give the tall white wolfess to were others that Anu already loved. Even if she hadn’t met them. She loved them because they were Naniko’s family; she loved then because they were Naniko’s children. It just wouldn’t be the same if she didn’t come with the baggage Anu was so ready open her heart to.

Her words were lost, her breath even taken by her brief confession. Eager to share her own, Anu spoke. Her voice was surprisingly steady and soft, “It hurts when I’m not with you.” She almost expected the dull pain to flair up when she mentioned it, but it was silent and absent in Naniko’s presence. Softly touching her neck with her nose, her heart fluttered at the thought of Naniko truly wanting her.

“I’ll always want to be there.” She inhaled, taking her scent deep in her nose. She would never let go, and would never be missing when Naniko needed her. “They’ll always have me too.” Her voice was quiet, but sure.