Don't bother pretending.
#1
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TAYUI ASTON

South. That was the one word that had plagued her consciousness ever since she had left Vedr’s human house behind. It wasn’t even a home—just a house to her, someplace she had stayed for a short while. The time spent there had been relaxing, comforting even, but it had been time to move on. And now she had, heading south, to wherever that was. Wherever here could possibly be.


She didn’t have anything to call the area, no semblance of a name or idea. She had spent the last few minutes standing there, staring across the lake, trying to think of a name for it, but… nothing. This was her first time venturing this far away from Halcyon Mountain, and she was certainly glad she had. The water was smooth and clear, and Tayui could see her reflection in it quite easily. She stepped closer, jumping from the bit of land she was standing on to a sturdy rock. She glanced around a bit, taking in the tall, wide oak trees that seemed to stretch up and out for forever. She smiled; she liked this place.



ANU

Forever her moments would pass with an uneasy lull. It was like her life had suddenly stopped. Why was she so stuck? The question was something she pondered since leaving the valley pack. Was it the transition that made her uneasy? Or was it the fear of her mates birthing that made her stomach twist? The question rustled uneasily in her mind, making her restless and eager to get moving. The lull of the warm late summer day did not help with her restlessness, and she moved sleepily along the lakes bank. Hand-like paws passed over the gnarled bark of the tall standing creatures, feeling their tough skin again her soft palms.



Her shaggy mane fluttered in the lazy breeze, and blue eyes looked out and over the vast body of water. Her new home stretched over the opposite bank, and she enjoyed looking over the water and into the territory. Among all the beauty, it was hard to miss the sight of the white wolfess, and ever harder to miss her scent. Foreign to the south Anu smelled lands she had never ventured into, but there was a hauntingly familiar scent amount the mix. She approached slowly, taking the sight of the fey who could more likely be a ghost then truly standing before her.




TAYUI ASTON

The peaceful calm of the day was enchanting, and Tayui found herself slowly being lulled into a dreamlike state, slightly unconscious of her surroundings, but awake enough to know she was there. She closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply. The scents of the forest and the lake mixed, creating a medley of smells and sensations. She opened her eyes, turning slightly so she could see behind her. Even if it did feel natural to simply stand here, eyes closed and mind wandering, she knew it was not always a good idea.


Off in the distance, she saw a small flicker of movement, just enough to catch her eye. She could make out what it was—only that it was there. She glanced away for a moment, scanning through the trees for the source of the movement. And then it (she?) was there. A female wolf, a short while away, watching Tayui as Tayui watched her. “Hello,” she called out, hesitantly.



ANU

“Um, hello.” It was all she could manage as she tried to decipher the mixed memories that ran threw her mind. Then it came to her, this was more then just another strange wolf that she would just happen to meet, this was a serious blast from the past.


More then just a blast from the past, the sight of the cream and ivory colored fey made Anu dig all the lost memories from her time at Jaded Shadows. It was like they were back there, back to when they lived on the great mountain, and followed the raven fey, whom had been as wise as the mother earth herself. Anu fought to breath when thinking about the time she had spent there. It had been some of the most pleasant.


“Tayui?” Her voice was full of surprise and disbelief. Did she think Anu had forgotten about the pack? Did she think she had abandoned them? The concern filled her heart, and her glee to see her old friend was apparent in her posture, and the wag of her tail. But then again, was she completely wrong?



TAYUI ASTON

Tayui nodded quietly in reply, unsure what she was to do, now. She had never represented herself, so to speak, but always had the scent of a pack attached to her wherever she went. She had always thought of how her actions might impact the pack—if she got into a fight, would it start a war? A rivalry? But now, she didn’t know what to say, how to introduce herself. Tayui Aston… vagabond traveler? She refrained a chuckle; she was hardly a drifter, or at least, compared to those she had met in the past.


She began to introduce herself, but found herself cut short when her name was given to her, instead of the other way around. “Yes, I am,” she replied, then paused, frowning. “Should I know you?” She felt like she should, that she had somehow met this female at some point, but could not place her face or scent. Who could she be?



ANU

At least she had gotten her name correct. Anu wasn’t surprised or upset that Tayui did not remember her. It was such a long time ago, and so much had changed since their time as Jaded wolves. She might not even want to remember, and here she was bringing up old and probably hurtful memories. Part of her wanted to lie, and say that she had only heard of her and acted like there had never been a Jaded Shadows pack. But she was hardly ever dishonest.



She took a small step, hoping to see the fey in better light. She looked as she always had. The memory was clear now, and Anu was astonished the she remembered. There were few things she could recall, but this was one of the small things she had kept.



“I just remember you from Jaded Shadows.” She paused; the pack name had come out soft and slow. “My name is Anu.” Maybe there were no memories of her left in the pale girls head, maybe she had been forgotten.



TAYUI ASTON

So she should know her. The female somehow remembered her from Jaded Shadows, but why could she not remember the female? Anu, Anu…? She felt as though she had met the other before, interacted with her, even, but something was not clicking.


She jumped down from the rock and trotted closer, tilting her head slightly as she evaluated the other for a moment. She had met her—she knew this. The other female knew her name, and Tayui knew she knew the other female, but how? She should know, but why didn’t she? She had never been all that good with recognizing faces or wolves, but this was just silly. “I know I know you, but… from where? My memory seems to be a bit dusty,” she replied with a quiet, wistful laugh. Jaded Shadows. She wished she could remember. Jaded Shadows.


She paused. “Oh, Jaded Shadows…?” She murmured quietly, trying to think back to those days. Mordulin, Fatin, Shaeniire—but there were more than just those few. There had been Ravesque and Drako, Spade, Salvaged, among others. “I think I remember you,” she said, after some time. “I know you,” she said, again, this time with more certainty.



ANU

The seconds passed, then the minutes as Anu watched her fight to remember. It was ok, if she had forgotten. Anu was not exactly the most memorable wolf in the world. Her typical looks and average personality made it easy for her to slip into the background and become one of the ‘passing through’ crowd.


There had been times where they had met, hunted even, but she was not one for fights or one night stands. Such things were the moments that people truly remembered, and Anu didn’t have any of those. Giving the other fey a smile, she hoped to dissolve any of the tension that had risen from her confusion


“I’m not much to remember.” She teased settling herself on one of the rocks the lined the lake’s shores. “And it was so long ago, my own memory strains to recall it all.” There, she had troubles too.
She picked a long stemmed buttercup that stood among the tall wild grass, “I was there far before the fire.” Her voice dropped, cutting off as she looked at the delicate flower. Now she had brought the bad memories to the surface.



TAYUI ASTON

Tayui blanched; embarrassed she couldn’t place the female, or organize her in the recesses of her memories. She knew her—she knew her, oh she knew it, but how? They had been in Jaded Shadows together. Wasn’t that enough to help her remember? But there had been times when she had not noticed anyone for days, when she had simply slept for hours and daydreamed whenever she had been awake. She had not been well for the first year there, and had taken another to truly recover and find herself. She was not surprised she could not remember, but was disappointed in herself nonetheless.


“Were you there before or after Spade was Alpha for a short time? Mordulin was Alpha until Fatin and I took over, but Spade was there… and there were others,” she said, trying to think. Spade—for some reason, she felt as though Anu was connected to the male in some way. But how? “You were there when he was, weren’t you?” She asked, again, more certain this time.


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#2
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“Yes, I was there.” She paused, bringing back the memories that had been repressed and covered with think layers of pleasant imaginary thoughts of her wandering the countryside. As if her loner days were more important then the time she had spent with that pack.

“Mordulin had broken her leg, and Spade led during her absence.” Anu fought to bring the past back into the light. For some reason it refused to come completely back. “It was after that, that I left. But I returned and Rav was there.” She remember him, he had been so kind to her, she would never forget his face.

Moments passed, and her heart was heavy with sadness. “I wish they would all come back.” Till this moment she had yet to think of them, with any true hope of seeing them again. The sight of Tayui made it possible for them to reappear in her life. “I never thought I would ever see any Jaded wolves again.” The words were said with a faint smile, “Even if you don’t remember me, I’m glad to see you again.”




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#3
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“A tree,” she said suddenly, the memory coming back to her in a flash, a streak of lightning. It felt as though she had suddenly been struck with pure knowledge, a sacred memory she could share with only one other. There had been a tree-- or two, perhaps, no, many. She and Anu had been sitting in a tree, talking. She didn't know why they had been in the three, but that one insignificant fact brought many more memories back. The hunt with Spade, and how Anu had been there. How Anu had been one of the few to actually believe in Spade when all the other wolves were so hesitant to trust an outsider. Tayui had been hesitant, too, unsure what it meant. She had been unable to overcome the feeling of loss-- that Mordulin had not been there. And then there had been Spade. He had been there, but... loathe as she was to admit it, no one had wanted him. At first, it had been like that, but slowly they had come to accept his presence. And Anu had been one of them who had. “There was a day when we were speaking. We were in a tree. It was windy. You'd returned after leaving Jaded Shadows. But you left again after that,” she said. “When you came back, Spade was there,” she added quietly, almost to herself.



It was strange that she was now able to suddenly remember, but-- how strange was it? She knew who Anu was-- she had just been unable to place her. Now that Anu had reminded her, of how Mordulin had broken her leg, she could remember, she could place the female in her memories. She had a place for her, now. It was a relief to know this, for Tayui had been rather annoyed with herself, unable to figure out who Anu was when she knew exactly who she was.



“I've wished that, too, but not anymore. I used to just... wish. And think. Daydream. I didn't do anything. It's not good to dwell on your memories so much. You need to create new ones, with new and old friends. Like this, now. Even though we're reminiscing, we're creating new memories together.” She smiled; together. The semblance of comradeship was warming; soothing. She liked it.


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#4
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Of course she would be remembered by her devotion to the gentle giants she loved so dear. She had met quite a few wolves while hanging from a tree’s bough. Anu gave a soft laugh at the thought. To often did she believed that she was truly ridiculous.

But the words were true. Every breath you took was an opportunity to make a memory. It gave you the chance to make a change and move forward. It was what they both needed, to move forward and each bring the theory of moving on to real life. If they were to continue living, it should at least be in the precent and not the past.

She was happy to have her old friend back, and even if all the history they had wasn’t that clear and even if it was pleasant, she still knew they still were close. Anu had always been the type to gain friends quickly, and seal trust and faith between them instantly. It was why she was able to fall in love a first glance. It was why she could believe and know that all her new relationships would be worth the change she had experienced.

“Every moment we’re together.” She was happy to create memories with Tayui.

“Tell me, what pack do you belong to?” Anu was curious to know all the things she had been doing since coming to these new lands.




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#5
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Every moment we’re together. Tayui found herself nodding in agreement as a soft smile graced her features for a moment. It flickered, then disappeared; physically, it remained for a fraction of a moment, but the smile lived on. “I don't belong to a pack at the moment. After Jaded Shadows disbanded, I created Shadowed Sun with a friend. The name was in reminiscence of the old pack. Shadowed Sun did well for a while, and flourished for a time. But we lost too many members to continue, so we parted ways. It was the best for everyone, with winter coming. We all need a stable home,” she replied. She knew Anu had not asked for all that, and might not even care to know about Shadowed Sun, but it couldn't hurt to tell her. Tayui had been something of a storyteller in both packs, and she had her stories to keep and secrets to hide, but she also had others that needed to be told. To keep the memories alive and the future promising, there were some that could not be ignored.



She supposed Anu might be able to appreciate her words more than the average wolf, for Shadowed Sun was, in many ways, the continuation of Jaded Shadows. It bore some of the same name, and borrowed some ideas from the previous mountain pack, but it had also been unique. It had been her home for a short time, too, and that was something she could never recreate.

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#6
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The pack was important, especially to a wolf like Anu or Tayui. They both understood the joys that being part of a group brought, and Anu truely felt like they held it to the same regard. It wasn’t just about survival, it was about family and living with those that shared a common respect for the hierarchy as well as thriving on companionship.

It was sad to think that she did not have a home. A wolf with the talents and warm personality Tayui possessed did not deserve to be without the support of a pack. The concern was written on her features, and questions sprung into her head. Pilot had been of this Shadowed Suns, but Tayui had broken away from their partnership, and thus straying from Crimson Dreams.

“I am sad to hear of you pack disbanding.” She let the feelings flout from her mouth. It felt only right to let Tayui know her concern. “Pilot came to the former members of Twilight Vale, and we’ve all made a new pack. Crimson Dreams. I moved there from Phoenix Valley.” She paused, taking a breath before realizing that there may need to be a bit more explanations needed.

”It was explained that he was from Shadowed Sun. He and another, a female came from there.” Her voice was soft but full of seriousness. “There is plenty of room for you, if a new pack is what your looking for right now.” It was the truth, she yearned for Tayui to join them but only if the cream colored fey wanted it. There was a good chance that she had her own plans, but there was no reason for Anu to not extend the invitation.


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#7
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So Pilot had found a new pack. She was glad for her friend; glad he had been able to continue on and begin anew. It sounded as though Twilight Vale was also facing some problems, or perhaps they just needed a change of pace. Whatever the reason, it seemed as though a fragment of Shadowed Sun would stay together; Tayui was glad. The female Anu was referring to could only be Ember or Urma-- she wondered which of the two had chosen to follow Pilot to this new pack, and which had found their own course.



“I don't know what I'm looking for. I think I might just explore these lands a bit before settling down. I've never really been a loner before-- there was always someone by me, with me. I want to see what happens when it's just... me.” She shook her head, torn. “But I'll keep that in mind. Crimson Dreams, you said? Where is the pack located?” In case she ever did feel the urge to settle down, perhaps she would make herself a home with a few familiar faces. It would be nice to be able to be with Pilot again, but at the same time, she longed to be... free. Without any restrictions or ties, just a luperci, just another wanderer. Maybe, when she grew lonely or tired, she would find herself a home, but until then, she rather fancied the idea of being a loner.

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#8
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wrap it up in the next couple posts?




Anu tried to think about how her life would be in she had never ventured off and into the different worlds outside her patent’s pack. It was hard to really think about what would have happened. It wasn’t that there were so many possibilities that she couldn’t choose one; there wasn’t even an option for her to choose from. It was her fate, running off to find everything that she had found here, as well as back in Jaded Shadows.

As much as she wanted Tayui to be as happy as she was snuggled cozy within a pack, she understood why being on her own was more beneficial. It was like picking which team you were going to play for; in the end you want to know the stats, and all your options. She couldn’t help but think that if she had just wandered for a week or two more, she would have fallen in Naniko’s lap without having to cut alliances with Phoenix Valley after only being there for a month or so.

“I understand, being a wanderer has plenty of its own benefits.” She smiled with her words. “We are just across the lake.” She motioned with her hand to draw Tayui’s eyes across the lake’s surface. “The pack lives in a large mansion, which is still feels a little odd.” Drawing a deep breath she let it out with a quiet sigh, “You always have a friend there, if your feet need a rest.”


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#9
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Tayui nodded slowly as Anu spoke, uncertain of the many benefits it offered, herself. Although she knew there were the positive and negative parts about being a loner, she was unsure if she wished to remain unaffiliated for a long or short time. She had, however, noticed that food was much harder to come by, as she no longer had a pack to hunt with. She had never taken it for advantage before, for she had travelled many kilometres to reach Bleeding Souls after abandoning her birth pack, but even now, it was still so unfamiliar. She had gotten so used to pack life that it was strange not being in one.



She followed Anu's gesture as she continued to speak, surprised she was so close to the pack. It made sense that Anu would have found her, now, as she was only a short distance away. She wondered if Anu was remaining close to pack now that had been formed, for their borders were still questionable. Until they became more established, she supposed anyone could wander by and claim it was there land and that Crimsonians were impeding on it. When Shadowed Sun had just been formed, Tayui had remained close, patrolling the borders and trying to keep everything in order. She had never realized how much it took to start something as large as a pack.



Tayui met Anu's sigh with a small smile, dipping her head in thanks. “I'll find you sometime, once I've made my decision. I don't know when that will be, however.” She chuckled quietly. “I'll just have to work it out. I've got some time, and I'm certainly enjoying my freedom.” She felt young again. She had the ability to simply pick up and move, something she had never done before. She felt like she was finally able to reach out, stretch, and touch the sky.



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#10
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i stink, thread again soon?



It would be winter soon, the main thought that went through ever wolf’s head once fall that filled her brain as she imagined Tayui out on her own. It was a frivolous thought. Fall had just begun, and there were still months before the first snow shower, and one or two more till the first true storm. There was still time before she might still be alone and in the cold.

“I’ll be here.” Her shoulders gave a small shrug, knowing that there was no other place she would rather be then within the Crimson Dreams boundaries. As always she would need to venture out into the wilds of the outside, with her wandering side that hassled her form time to time.

Of course they would meet again, it was just the nature of their relationship. ”And I hope you find what your looking for.”



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