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_____ The last time that Pilot had come to Jaded Shadows was so that he could meet up with Tayui and continue the low speech lessons they had started. He greatly respected the alpha and it felt almost as if he was coming back to see her. Instead, he was actually here to see Deuce – his mate’s mother. When Pilot had seen her last it hadn’t been under the best circumstances. Slade had harassed her, making inappropriate threats. Upon trying to intervene, Pilot was left with both wolves departing. He still needed to talk with Phoenix on how to appropriately punish Slade. But on the other hand, he needed to come apologize to Deuce. He couldn’t have her terrified to ever Storm again on behalf of their omega. He generally felt bad for it all.
_____ He came upon the borders and stopped. He knew that Deuce had been pregnant when she came to Storm, and although unaware of her miscarriage, he knew that she might not be able to travel far. He only hoped that it wasn’t too much of a trouble to come to see him at the borders. He let out a call for her, watching as his breath rolled into the air in a white cloud of vapor. The snow was falling lightly – just flurries – and it made for a rather beautiful scene.
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Deuce stirred. Somewhere a familiar voice called to her from the safety of her confines. She sat up groggily, having done a lot of sleeping since the misscarriage and death of Shadow. She was deeply depressed now, to deep to even think straight, if at all. She'd shifted down, into the four legged from she was born with, rather than staying shifted. It felt like there ws less pain to deal with that way.
She stood, made her way out of the thicket he was sleeping in. She didn't want the pack to see her this way; she knew it frightened Lucifer, when he couldn't find her in the den. She didn't care; she was emotionally numb from tip of the nose to tip of the tail. And in this cold weather, she was soon physically numb took, not that she noticed, or cared.
A white wolf stood there. She blinked lazilly, trying to figure him out. A name moved slowly into the haze of memory. pilot. Dierdre's mate. She'd stopped moving; she started again. She moved to within a few foot af him, materializing like a ghost. She opened her mouth to speak, discovered her voice didn't work so well. She closed her mouth, swallowed and tried again. Hey, pilot.
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Sorry for the wait. :]
_____ "Good afternoon, Deuce." Pilot started, looking at his mate’s mother and instead seeing Dierdre next to him. He blinked his eyes a few times and then the Jaded Shadows female reappeared. "I’m sorry to draw you out when the weather is like this, but I felt that I needed to come talk to you." Just get to the point, Pilot. He didn’t know Deuce that much, and sure he’d like to change that, but she didn’t exactly seem that well. Just something felt wrong. He couldn’t place a finger on it, but he figured he should hurry with what he had to say, and get a move on.
_____ "Anyways, I just wanted to come see you to apologize for Storm’s omega, Slade. His actions were inappropriate and I assure you that he will be punished. Also, I just wanted to ask you not to be frightened to come back to Storm. I’m sure Dierdre would be heartbroken not to see you as often. And, well, I just don’t want anyone fearing the idea of visiting." He exhaled and realized he had sort of been rambling. Not very diplomatic, but whatever. He paused. Was there anything else to really say? He didn’t think so. But as he looked her over once more, he changed his mind. Are you feeling okay?" he decided to ask. Something was just not right.
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he spoke and her mind moved on. She wasn't totally here today. She could hear Erik mocking her and Shadow degrading her. She'd murdered one and neglected the other. Bi-colored eyes turned vauge, distant. Words entered her mind without leaving a trace behind. [i]Are you okay?[/b]
She blinked once, looking at him blankly. It took a few minutes for the words to clarify in her mind. No....I don't suppose I am, actually. My son died...was murdered actually. And i lost the pups...It's been... She trailed off, her mind wandering again. I feel like hell. It's all my fault.
She turned confused, worried eyes to pilot. Don't let Dierdre turn out like me. i was her age when i got pregnant with her. Don't leave her...she needs you. Mother and dughter were mirror images now. But when the girl had been born she'd been more cinnamon, and one eye had been green, not yellow. A 50/50 mix of thanos and Deuce. take care of her...
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_____ What could he say to that? Murdered? When had this happened? Recently? Dierdre had never mentioned this to him, and he hadn’t heard word of it. Surely if their was a murderer within Bleeding Souls, wouldn’t people at least be talking about it? Perhaps, that was just old news. But he couldn’t be so sure. Instead of replying, Pilot only looked on – grey eyes wide in wonder.
_____ "Of course I will never leave her, Deuce. You have my word. I love Dierdre. With my whole heart. I can honestly say I would never do anything to hurt her intentionally. Never. I swear on my life." But there was something that bothered Pilot about her words. 'Don't let Dierdre turn out like me. I was her age when I got pregnant with her.' Did that mean… did Deuce regret having children at that age? Perhaps that was a hint that Pilot and Dierdre shouldn’t start a family of their own. Pilot’s head dropped a bit lower and his gaze fell to the snow crusted ground. He didn’t quite understand. He let his gaze find the white wolf once more and he uttered another pledge after her last words reached him. "I promise."
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She felt relief at his words. She couldn't stand the thought of Dierdre ending up as ruined and heartbroken as herself. Not because she'd gotten pregnant so young, but because she was so unstable. She turned her vauge gaze to Pilot, trying to focus on him, on now. Sometimes it's like she's my mother. I never knew my mother, you know. She died giving birth to me. My father left us, though i always thought he died too. Dierdre always hated me for losing thanos...
She was rambling now, trying to explain to Pilot why she'd extracted such promises. Her words came out more disjointed, though. they made sense, but only if one understood who and when she was referring to. She called phoenix her father, thought he was Thanos. Phoenix was a better parent to her than me...I'm too fucked up to be a good mom. She deserved better. He left us, he didn't want us....later he regretted it, but it was too late. But she hated Soran....said it was unnatural.
I love her...i don't want her to have my problems. I don't want to have given those to her, along with my looks. I don't want her to repeat my mistakes, pilot. She looked at him pleadingly, as if he could look into Dierdre and see what Deuce was referring to, and pull it out of the cinnamon girl.
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Pilot didn’t know about all of these mistakes that Deuce had apparently made, but his promise had been made. He wouldn’t let Dierdre lead a life that she would regret – he would protect her until the end of time to the best of his ability. And that was a promise. He watched Deuce speak, eyes still wide in wonder. What had happened to this mother in her lifetime to make her so full of regret and worry? Whatever it had been, Pilot wanted to protect Dierdre from it, just as Deuce wanted.
Some things had already happened to Dierdre that Pilot couldn’t protect her from – the rape, for instance. However, he wanted to try and give the couple a more normal life, whatever that was. Maybe by starting a family and such, they could discover what it truly meant to be happy and safe. And secure. "I’m sure you did everything you could for her. But she’s an adult now. She’ll be able to fend for herself. I’m sure she’ll choose a path for herself that suits her. Don’t be afraid she’ll follow in your footsteps. After all, she’s done a lot of growing up just from when I first met her."
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