She had fretted over this for weeks now, months even. She didn't know how long it had been, exactly, but it was driving her crazy. Siobhan had been to that pack so many times that she was sure each and every one of the Crimson Dreams wolves had met her. If it wasn't one of his mothers it was the other--he had two, Naniko, and Anu, and she'd visited with both when she had gone looking for him. But no, they didn't know where he was either. Or if they did know, she hadn't been told of it yet. She was past being concerned for him or sad about not being able to find him. Now she was pissed off.


Siobhan walked steadily, with purpose, through the rows of pews until she reached the front. The church that she stood in had once been a rich, beautiful, magestic place of worship...but now it held nothing but broken crosses and ghosts of beliefs. She looked up at the leaning cross that hung down from one wire, then closed her eyes. This worked for humans, she had heard, praying to the man that hung off of the cross. Maybe it would work for her too. She tried to quell the emotions that she was feeling, burying them deeply as she concentrated. She had to find him.

<3


He wasn't sure why he had returned to the city today. Maybe he just needed to get away from the group of outcasts for a while. What had befallen Svara had made him sick and everyone was on edge. He was still trying to figure out his own life and the subdued atmosphere at the small house was exactly what he didn't need right now. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his ragged jeans as he wandered the empty streets. He had made certain to take a course that was nowhere near the bar he had lived in. He didn't need that temptation.



Unexpectedly a familiar scent came to his sensitive nose and his eyes grew wide. Siobhan... He hadn't seen her since he had kissed her that day. Guilt rose in his gut like an unwelcome bile. Would she even want to see him? Mati had said that she didn't seem upset, but still. Haven chewed his lip, trying to decide if he should follow her trail or not. With a sigh he went after her, unable to stay away, even though he might not be getting a warm welcome.



He followed her scent to the entrance of a church. His head peeked through the entryway and saw her form at the front. Her pure coat was illuminated by the light filtering in like some angel. He swallowed hard, a lump having formed in his throat. The boy could feel his heartbeat increase just at the sight of her. He tried to speak, but no words came out, as if his voice had been shut off.

She didn't know that she could have a life other than the life that she had in Inferni. Siobhan had thought that she would stay there all of her life with Ezekiel and that there wasn't anything that could make her want to leave it. From their clan rules, she knew that Haven wouldn't be able to join them. He did have some coyote in him, but it wasn't enough for the clan...even though the boy did have the look of a coyote. There were many creatures who lived in Inferni who didn't look at all like one but were one nonetheless.

She just knew that she would have to find some way to be with him, if he still wanted to be with her. She didn't know if he did any more; she hadn't seen him in what felt like years. She was angry, but the underlying feeling was the opposite of that emotion. Was he hurt somewhere, or dead? He wouldn't go this long without coming to see her or finding her...there had to be some reason.

A thought came then; maybe he just didn't want to see her. He had kissed her, but maybe after that he'd decided that he didn't like her after all. Maybe she had made him angry by running away from him that day. There were so many maybe's. She knelt down despite the red dress that she was wearing, her hands clasped together. When she leaned her head forward over her hands the necklace that he had given to her swung back and forth, reflecting beams of sunlight off of it. Maybe all of this was nothing...it was all in her head. She'd imagined that he liked her at all, that they could have some kind of a future together. There wasn't anything there. She started to cry then, red-hot tears falling down onto her hands.

There had barely been a day that had gone by that he hadn't thought of her. That he hadn't worried over their friendship. After she had ran away from him that day he had worried that he had hurt her in some way. It was fine if she hadn't liked him in the way he liked her, but he didn't want to lose her as a friend. Then after he had found out about his father he had hated himself for kissing her like that. He should have asked her if he could instead of just doing it. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her. While he was doing better with the idea that he was not his father and wouldn't do what he did, standing there looking at her made all those fears rise inside him again.



His feet felt frozen to the ground. He didn't know what to do. Should he go to her? Or should he just leave her alone? The boy had no idea if she would be mad at him or upset, and if she was what reason it would be. There were probably plenty of reasons for her to be angry with him. Though if she was, he would take it. He deserved it after what he'd done. All he had wanted was to make her happy. To show her that life could be good, that she deserved to be cared for and treated right. Just another failure to add to his ever growing list.



Then he heard her cry. It was a soft sound, and if it hadn't been so quiet he might not have heard. Why was she crying? What was she thinking? Had somebody else hurt her? His concern for her then was enough for him to move forward. He took slow steps into the church, going down the aisle towards her. His ears were back against his head. "S...Si..?" he murmured. His hand tentatively reached out for her.

"W...Why?" She managed when she did finally see him. She had wanted the Gods to bring him to her, yes, but why did it have to be now? She was crying, when all that she wanted to do was be angry. She needed to stop the crying, but she couldn't. Siobhan stood up, raising her small fists to rub at her eyes so that she could see more clearly. She had to make sure that this was real, that she was really seeing him, before she decided what she would do.

"Siobhan looked. And looked and looked. You hate her? You hate her and you did not want to see her?" She was angry, but she had to know this first. Did he hate her? Had he been hiding from her this whole entire time? He looked so different from the last time that she'd seen him. But had he changed on the inside?

As her wet face turned to him he hated himself all over again. That one word felt like a punch to his gut. But what did she mean? Why had he kissed her? He opened his mouth to try and say something but once again it abandoned him. He felt like a scared child. He had no idea what was going through her mind right now and that terrified him. What did she even think of him now? Never had he felt this sort of tension between them and it scared him. Had he really ruined everything? Was this the end?



Though her next questions astounded him. Hate her? How could she possibly think that? "Siobhan no. I could never hate you. I...I hated myself..." His gaze turned from her, shame written clearly upon his feature. "I was hiding from everyone. Because I didn't want to hurt any of you." He didn't want to tell her, but she deserved to know. "I found out...my father. He's a very bad man. He's done horrible things. Horrible things to my mother..." Even if she didn't hate him now she surely would. With everyone else it was different, he didn't have feelings for them like he had for her. They didn't have to worry as much. He could feel tears forming in his own eyes, though he did his best to hold them back.

Assuming that the WWDS? thread was just a for-fun one, and not one that actually happened in the character's history o.o)


She didn't understand. Or couldn't understand, really. Siobhan didn't know the entire story, about his mother and his father and everything that came with that whole entire side of him. Obviously whatever had happened, this bad thing that his father had done, it had been a shock to the gentle Aatte boy. "You would never hurt Siobhan." She said surely. She also didn't know about the alcohol and about anything that he had done while under its influence. She never drank in her life, and did not know about such things. In fact, there was much that the young coyote didn't know about in general.

"Why does that make you hate yourself? What he did?" She asked, confused. Did he think he would grow up to be like his dad? She had often thought that herself...about her mother. "Siobhan's mother...she did bad things too. You know this. Siobhan was afraid that she would be like her mother--Siobhan told Adelaida that she did not want any children, because she would hurt them. But now she has grown wiser and stronger...and Siobhan knows that the children are not like the parents. They are different! And you know what your dad did that is bad, and you see it is not a good thing to do, that it is a bad thing. That makes you different from him" Haven was a thoughtful, considerate wolf! Not a bad one. She did not know what Conri had done, exactly, but whatever bad thing it was she knew that Haven wouldn't do it too. He knew it was wrong, and thus...he was different from his dad. That was how she thought about it, anyway. "You are kind and gentle, Haven"

As she spoke his watery gaze returned to her. You would never hurt Siobhan. But he already had, hadn't he? Not in a physical way, but in an emotional way. He had kissed her that day when she apparently had not wanted that. It had scared her or something. And she had thought that because he had not come to see her since then that he hated her. "I'm sorry if I have, I never meant to...I only want to make you happy..." Maybe he couldn't anymore. Maybe she didn't want his friendship after everything that had happened the past few moons. He wouldn't be able to blame her if she did. It seemed that he had caused pain to everyone close to him in his effort to protect them. It had all backfired quite amazingly and painfully. "Because I look just like him. Because I have his blood." Because I'm a male.



Haven hadn't even thought about Siobhan fearing becoming like her mother. He didn't know why. Her mother was a bad person too. Perhaps not quite as bad as Conri Church, but still bad. Perhaps he had been wrapped up in his own personal tragedy to even see the similarities. After talking with Mati and his mother he felt more confident that he would not follow in the pawprints of his sire. That he could forge his own life and destiny. "I know that know...or at least I think I do. I still worry but...I think that's good." If he worried about it maybe there was even less of a chance of him falling to such a level. He never wanted to become such a monster. Death would be better than that.



At her compliment he wanted to smile, but it was as if his mouth had forgotten how to. "Thank you. That means a lot to me." It was only now that he noticed that she wore the necklace that he had picked out for her that day on the ship. Did that mean something good? Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe she just wore it because she liked the way it looked. "Siobhan...I..." He swallowed, his stomach was fluttering uncomfortably. "I like you. A lot. As more than...just a friend." Though she had probably already figured that out. "Still, I shouldn't have done what I did that day. I shouldn't have just...kissed you. I should have asked you first and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you..." He looked into her beautiful ruby eyes, chewing his lip. "If you don't feel the same way that's fine. I understand. If you don't even want to be my friend anymore I understand that too. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you."

He'd said that he had stayed away because he hadn't wanted to hurt her, because he had been afraid that he would be like his father. She had never seen his father before, and didn't know that Haven looked like him at all. To her, he looked just as handsome as ever--his orange and white coat made him unique; completely different from everyone else that she knew. Whenever she saw his big orange head she had always felt happier...and now, she realized, she still did feel happy. There was a lot of confusion, and a few bent feelings, but beneath it all she couldn't hide the fact that she was glad to see him any longer. The emotion bubbled up above everything else, overtaking her anxiety and questions with ease. He was standing right here in front of her, the boy she had been looking for for such a long time.

She couldn't be mad with him for trying to protect her. He wasn't staying away because he didn't like her or because she had done anything wrong. And that was enough for the simple girl. It made her happier than anything to know that. "You are kind and gentle, and those are things that Sio likes the very best" She quieted when he spoke again, about his feelings, and clasped her hands together in front of her. She wanted to hear him out completely before she said anything, just in case. "It was a...surprise. Siobhan never had felt something like that before, and it was a bit scary, yes? For you too, a little? She..I doesn't.." She frowned in frustration, trying to find the right words and to make them come out in a more correct way. She wanted him to understand her completely. "I hasn't seen something like this, a boy and a girl together. You has two moms, and I had only my one mom. But boys and girls, they go together too." Even if Haven was a girl she would probably like him anyway. "Do not think like that! I do. I do like you! I keeped this necklace on my neck and I thought about you every day. And looked for you and looked" She began closing the short distance between them, reaching her arms forward so that she might hug him. "I could not be friends with you, Haven. It wouldn't be enough. I need more than that. I think I would like a kiss now more than before...now that I know what it is and what it means. And what it would do to me."

He had always tried to be kind. He had always tried to be gentle. But somewhere along the way he felt he had lost sight of everything. When his world had tumbled around him at the news of his father he had lost some of his sense. What he thought had been the right thing to do hadn't been it at all. While trying to protect those he loved he had only hurt them with his unexplained and sudden absence. But now he was getting on the right track again. He had a new home and a new start at his life. He had a duty now. The boy wasn't just Haven anymore he was Sir Haven. To some that one word wouldn't have meant much, but it meant the world to him.



Her words reached his ears loud and clear, even though his ears were still back against his head. "A little. You just looked so beautiful...and I..." Couldn't help myself. The hybrid hated to think that, but it was the truth. Looking at her then, the sun reflecting so brightly off her peerless coat had stirred something inside of him and he had just gone for it. He had stolen that kiss from her. But knights didn't steal kisses and he would never do such a thing again. He had always known that boys and girls went together, even when he was very little. But unlike her, he had had a pack around him with male and female couples, so he had understood that.



What Siobhan said next shocked him and he felt his heart skip in his chest. Jade eyes looked to her face, wide in his face. "You...you do?" He couldn't believe it. "You did?" Haven hadn't expected this. Hoped for it, but hadn't allowed himself to believe it might actually happen. The boy had resigned himself to just being her friend forever if she was gracious enough to grant him that. But this, it took his breath away. She closed the distance between them and reached out for him and he gladly took her in his arms. He held her close and breathed in her scent, that scent he had missed and longed for. "I want to give you more, if that's what you really want," he said quietly. She asked for a kiss, and while he wanted to, he hesitated. "Are you...sure?" Haven needed to know that it was okay.

she can't quite reach him ^^


She tried to think of things from his point of view. She had run away from him, afraid, when he had kissed her...and then this news about his father. How horrible. She didn't want him to think for one second that she didn't know what this meant or what it was, or what it could mean for them. This one action had so many possibilities for the two of them. She had been so angry with him before, so mad that she hadn't been able to find him. She had thought that she would act differently than she was right now. But she couldn't. Because she was herself, and he was Haven. She couldn't be mad at Haven.

"So sure." She said in response, leaning up and sliding her hands back behind his head to urge him forward. This was real...this was right. Wherever Haven was, she wanted...no, needed to be with him. She had feelings for him that she couldn't describe with words because she had never felt anything like them in her entire life. The others would understand. Zeke would understand. She'd have to make him. Because this was where she needed to be.

hehe <33


Haven couldn't have imagined that things would have gone this well. He had been expecting the worst and dreading it. He had figured that was all he could expect. She had every reason to be angry with him and to not want to be with him. Yet she wanted to. She liked him too and wanted to see if they could make things work. He wanted that more than anything. Even being a knight. His new title and station brought him a sense of direction and purpose, but being with Siobhan would bring him that as well. He knew he had the capacity to love her, that emotion just needed the nourishment to grow.



So sure. The boy doubted that any words had ever sounded so sweet to his ears. Feeling her hands pull at the back of his neck made butterflies flutter around in his stomach. This was okay. This was what she wanted too, not just him. Closing his eyes he leaned down towards her, meeting her lips with his own. His arms lightly held her to him. Enough to support her and comfort her, but not so much as to make her feel smothered or controlled. The feeling it gave him was electric. It was different than last time. This time they were both ready. This time it was right. While Haven could never ask her to leave her home, he hoped that she might consider it. He wanted her with him. He wanted her by his side.