For hours he had felt lost and the battle against the tears had begun. The boy’s nose found the boundaries that revealed the claim of the lands, but Conor was confused and was looking for a cabin. Without any hesitation, he simply crossed the borders without a second thought, too busy thinking about how he was to find the Dreams pack, the cabin and the little girl with the watery eyes. Cambria was very pretty, and he had decided to let her know the truth this time. He wanted to be forgiven. Haku’s daily terror had been hard on the puppy’s psyche, but he was already improving. This too, what he was doing right now, was an attempt to change his life into something better. He had to unhurt those he had hurt, no matter if it had been intentional or not.

A whine escaped the boy, completely lost. The flower that his jaws had held on to fell to the ground, but he could not care less. The fear. He was so scared. The Soul boy was so close to his destination, but he was not aware of this. He felt lost. He felt cold. The sky would soon start to darken. He had made a mistake.

He sniffled noisily, feeling his nose clog up and felt the well known pain tickle his nose. It always felt like this right before he started to cry. The voice behind him stopped the domino effect, made him forget his immediate misery and turning around, almost falling over as he did so. The miracle had happened. It was her, it was Cambria! The boy spent a second or two in disbelief. Then his tail started to beat steadily against the green ground. He would not die after all. Monsters only came out when people were all alone by themselves, and he no longer was. ”Cambria!” He almost shouted. He lowered his muzzle to pick up the lily before he turned around to face her again. Now it was all about doing this right. He took a few experimental steps towards the girl, stretching his neck out towards her. It was hers! He had picked her a flower!

          It was a good thing he was already sure of what he wanted to do, or else her little face would have scared him from going through with this. She finally seemed to recognize him, and it was extremely clear what she thought of him. The boy swallowed heavily as his lilac eyes settled on the brown little girl. This was simply something the boy would have to endure. If she still decided to hate him after he had said the words he had used the whole afternoon to memorize, then so be it. He could understand grudges, as he was the owner of a whole mountain of them himself. His father could never be forgiven for all the gruesome things he had done, and Conor was not sure if he could ever forgive the man even if he gave it a try. Some things simply left scars too deep for things to be okay again.

          The girl did not start to cry again at least. His light violet eyes stayed on the little creature. She had grown since last time he had seen her. It did not feel like his own body had developed much, but he chose to believe that he too was growing. He did not want to be small. Still, the girl in front of him was still smaller than him. Cuter too, but that was no issue, as boys should not really be cute. They were supposed to look handsome. Conor was not entirely sure what was the difference between those words, but he was pretty sure there was an important one. Now was the time. The boy inhaled deeply. He had made the sentence up all by himself. ”I has pretty flower for pretty girl.”

          He forced his tail to wag politely, and his ears perked forwards. It had been perfect. His voice had been slightly muffled because his jaws held the flower, but that was to be expected.

          The boy could now feel the echo of his heart thundering against his eardrums, as if his heart was everywhere in the body at the exact same time. It made it twice as scary to stand there with the flower in his mouth. It was not before now that he managed to realize that she had actually not remembered him. However, now she did and suddenly he felt quite sick to his stomach. Had he just hoped that she did not remember? Had she done it all the time? Did she really hate him as much as he feared she would? Please, no, he hoped she didn’t. He had wanted to confirm that she was pretty back then when he had been asked, but.. Well, he had no explanation at all why he had not agreed. He had felt out of place and spooked by a sudden attack of claustrophobia. He had just wanted everyone to go away, and he had hurt her in order to reach that goal. It was wrong.

          Stumbling words fell out of her, and he could all too well see the tears that were welling up in the girl’s pretty eyes. Conor took them for sad tears immediately and let go of the flower instantly only so that he could form a pout and go into his sad and emo stance. His copper dropped miserably and his tail shivered against his not-plump-enough belly. Oh no. Oh no. Oh what was he going to do. He wanted to cry. He wanted to turn around and run home and hide under the bed until Alexey would come and drag him out of there. He just wanted to do things right. Why was it so hard. His eyes turned slightly wet as well, although no tears managed to swell up to a size where they could tour away from his lilac eyes.

          ”Cambria, I diden’t mean it, you are super pretty, even prettyier than the flower.” he managed to push forth, his voice thick with regret and sadness for the horrible no that had seemingly ruined both of their lives (right now it felt that way at least!). Conor could no longer stand to look upon her form anymore. It hurt so much to see her like that. He hated that the little girl cried wet and salty tears because of him. Like with Catalyst, what had happened with Cambria had taught him the power of words. There was no need for truth behind them in order for them to be able to sting. It was very horrible, and saying mean and especially mean and untrue things made Conor horrible too. Maybe even more horrible than his own father.

          Most likely Haku had merely been honest when scolding and insulting his youngest son- No, no! The boy tried to push the unpleasant and crushing thoughts away. These were what could ruin the boy completely if he let his mind linger too much on that particular field of his past. New beginnings were good, and he tried to force his light gaze up to Cambria again while attempting to produce a little smile for her.

          Bluntly speaking the boy was dumbstruck. If he had been Cambria he would have said that it was okay, but she was a girl and therefore an entirely different species that he absolutely did not understand. To see those sea foam eyes fill up with liquid made the boy want to weep as well. That was what had allowed him to survive all this time. When he was sad and upset (which in the past had been too often) he had been able to cry all those salty tears and eventually reach a form of catharsis. It felt good to cry, but people only cried when they were sad. This meant Cambria was sad, and if not flowers and regretful words could fix her hurt feelings, then what could? He had never truly meant to be horrible to her and tell her that she was not pretty, and did not really understand why it had to be hard. It was not as if the golden puppy had allowed the girl enough time to grasp the intention behind his visit today, but Conor was a child himself and oblivious of a lot of things. He had expected her to turn into a great smile instantly. It had not happened. His plan had failed.

          A pathetic whimper sounded from the sorry little boy, although her flattened ears were slowly starting to twist loose from her skull by the time he returned his sorry, lilac stare to her. It had been so very easy to just say no, but making amends took so much longer. Was it like this always? Something similar had been with Catalyst as well, but it had been rather different. He could only be relieved that Cat was as understanding as she was. He had confessed his flaws and why he had said those ugly words to her, and she had accepted that. Would Cambria too be able to do the same if she just got some time to understand and think about it? The boy held his breath, wondering how this all would end. It was uncomfortable to stand here and look into her tear wet eyes. It made his guilt multiply forever, and he was not sure how long he could take it before the old whiny Conor returned. Yes, the boy was afraid that he too had a bad side just like his father, and it was that side that had hurt the two girl puppies.

          When the request for additional confirmation came, Conor could not confirm this quickly enough. His tail went into its own little frenzy while his head nodded as if the quest was to throw it off. ”Yes!” the child announced hurriedly. ”Yes, I meant that you were only pretty.” Perhaps this was the keyword. ”You are the prettiest girl I has ever seen in my lives.” He proudly confessed, although Catalyst’s tear wet doll face haunted his mind as the most beautiful thing. His mind fled for merely a moment to that white puppy, wondering why the world seemed to explode into colours whenever she floated around in his head.

His cheeks blushed delicately when the girl politely thanked him for both the flower and his words. Nah, this was the least he could have done for the poor little girl. He had treated her unfairly, and she shouldn’t really have to thank him. He, on the other hand, should thank her. ”Thank you for not being angry at I, Cambia.” he shared, sincerely meaning the words he spoke. Now when all this was over and done with, he was not entirely sure what should and would happen next. The evening was slowly approaching with its dimming illumination, and the boy wondered if he wanted to get to know the little girl puppy a bit better. The boy was still uncertain and fragile of nature, though it was all work in progress. He would become something larger and better: the opposite of his father, basically.

”You are has a happy day?” the boy asked curiously, determined to chase the threatening silence away.

She liked this girl when she smiled. He liked smiling people in general. He had grown up with cruel and sadistic grins turned at him, but these kinds of smiles were delicate and sincere. They were happy and friendly. His cinnamon painted tail with the white tip wagged contently, so happy because she did not loathe him for his flaws. There had been corrupting elements in his life, but her friendliness and forgiveness showed him a piece of what was good in the world. His heart absorbed everything it could get now, everything good. He was standing here, proving that he could be so much better. He would be much better.

She asked him the same question in return after saying that her day was happy. ”Yes, very happy.” the boy announced. His words were so true. Because of Cambria, this day was a super very good day. He was still standing there smiling brightly at her when an issue was raised, spotted first by the girl. Dark soon. Honey hued ears folded backwards towards his skull as the boy’s lilac gaze rose up to meet the darkening sky. Oh no. The darkness brought nasty things along with it. Alexey said that monsters were not real and only existed in his head, but he could feel the fur on his neck and back rose slowly as the unpleasant thoughts and fears found him.

The boy repositioned his oversized front paws several times, unable to find a solution he could live with. Those lavender eyes sunk to the ground and stayed there in despair for a few moments before they rose to Cambria. ”Oh noes.” he simply said, though the tone of his voice said so much more. He was scared. ”Can I sleeps here tonight?” he whispered, voice suddenly almost nonexistent, less audible than a whisper.

Just like Cambria, Conor had not really any idea of what sort of life other puppies led. However, he was older and had wandered father on the part that the brown coated girl. Catalyst had revealed that it was Cercelee that took care of her and her siblings. Conor quite liked the ivory Rosea, and he understood by the way Cat had talked about it without fear, and by knowing that Cercelee was a super nice woman, that those puppies had a good home. He knew he did not have one, but when he had been on Cambi’s age, he had believed it was normal. If he was to spend a night with his aunt, uncle and cousins, then he would get yet a stronger impression of how wrong his life home with daddy Haku had been.

He was not turned down, and it became a fact that he was going to have his first sleep over ever in Crimson Dreams. The boy’s features shook off the unhappiness and added happiness. The only thing that broke this incoming, exciting experience was that he had not told Alexey that he would be gone. She had to be worrying sick about him. He hoped she would not be sad and scared, because he would be okay now. Tomorrow he would tell her every detail of how his journey had been. The latte coated adult had been so angry and disappointed with him the day where he first had met his aunt and cousins. He had just been so scared and not known what to do. She should be happy to hear that they were all friends now! Conor intended to make Amata and Gotham his friends too!

”Yes thanks!” the boy whimpered out happily, shaking his rear in excitement. He started to bounce up and down, so excited at the thought of seeing and smelling that home again and to meet puppies. He had managed to make Cambria his friend, and he had imagined her to be the hardest nut to crack after he had hurt her feelings. The rest would be easy as eating tasty food.