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It had been a little while since she'd done it. A few days, maybe. She had thought she would be able to resist it if she chose to, because she felt that smelling the wonder-powder was a choice. But the same day that she'd decided to try and quit it she had discovered an all new drug, one that was injected into the system. She had syringes and needles a-plenty, being a doctor. She hadn't ever used them much, not knowing what to inject into someone, but she'd had them around just in case. Naniko knew that the human had used them with certain drugs. She just hadn't run across any of those medicines in the city yet.
The girl had thought that she'd gotten as high as she could possibly get the last time she had smelled her powder, but this injectable drug was sweeter; it brought her to all new levels, gave her that feeling all over again. Like the very first time she'd ever used the powder. Today she was going to try an experiment, try combining the effects of both of them at the same time to see what happened. She had decided that she was off the powder, had wanted to stop...but now she wasn't interested in stopping any more. She wasn't hurting anyone, doing this...and as long as no one else really knew, why did it matter? She tried to stay downstairs whenever she was high or whenever Sabeen came over. Her addicted friend came by often.
Naniko sat back afterwards, closing her eyes. Small spots of light danced behind her eyelids and her fingers rubbed methodically along the fabric of the easy chair that she was sitting in. Back and forth, back and forth. It was so good. She'd tossed the syringe onto the floor (she would boil it later to clean it) and put the powder back in the bag, but a small amount of it still clung to her nose.
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Kansas had never been to the basement. He hadn't ever really had a reason to go down there; everything he needed was on the upper levels. But he'd finished most of his books, and was curious to see if there were possibly any more downstairs. If not, the bookworm was content to simply look around. He could be adventurous. Maybe it would be a good place to take his puppies to play sometime, if there were neat hiding holes or other such features down there. He was in his lupine form, the one he preferred, and he moved down the narrow steps carefully. It was dimly lit, and he didn't trust himself to go quickly.
The boy paused on the last step. He heard the soft tap of something dropping to the floor. Someone was already down here. He hadn't really expected that—as far as he knew, his fellow members rarely used the basement. Kansas rounded the stair banister and found himself facing Naniko in an easy chair. His eyes widened, flitting to the syringe on the ground before her. That must have been what he'd heard falling. "Naniko..." he said softly, more than a little surprised. What had she needed the needle for? He wondered if perhaps she was sick. He frowned slightly, moving a bit closer.
Her eyes. Her pupils were dialated, and she had an odd, faraway look on her face. Kansas eyed her questioningly. Something wasn't right, at all. What was wrong with her? He hadn't paid much attention to her the past few months, so it came as a shock to see her looking so strange, so unlike he'd ever seen her before. "Nani, are you...okay?"
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That was one of the reasons that she had chosen to live down here in the first place. She had a fear of going up the stairs to the upstairs bedrooms since her fall during her first pregnancy, and had a fear of the upstairs in general because of the things that Conri had done to her up there. She had loved him very much...many things had happened since then. So many things.
She opened her eyes when she heard footsteps, but it was hard to see who it was at first because of the dim light of the place. "Ah...Kansas. How are things? I'm well...very well. I feel better than before."
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He felt very uncomfortable. He hated seeing her like this, hated that the first time he should really look at her in so long should bring her to him in such a strange state. And she was down here in the basement, all alone. Something had definitely changed about her, and he hated seeing it. She didn't appear to be the strong, happy leader she once had been. Kansas was well aware that a great deal had happened to her in the past year, probably even more than he knew about. He felt a twinge of guilt. She had once been his best friend, and he'd paid no attention to her.
Her words belied whatever condition she was in. She spoke in a strange, happy voice. It confused him. How could she look ill, and have a need for a needle, and still seem so happy? Kansas stepped a bit closer, warily remaining a few feet away from the syringe on the floor. He didn't know what to say to her. He wanted to help her with... whatever it was she was doing. But he didn't know how. "Good... I've been good. I'm... I'm glad you're feeling... better." He tried to say this casually, but he couldn't keep the anxiety out of his voice. "Nani, I... What is that?" He flicked his snout in the direction of the syringe, his eyes gentle but worried, wavering uncertainly from the floor and back to her pale face.
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"It's nothing. Just some juice that makes me happy. It makes me forget all the bad things...all the stress of leading the pack and wondering about where my pups are." She shrugged. His tone didn't sound too good--Naniko frowned at him, looking at him closely. "Why? You want to try some? There's plenty to go around" She offered.
If it made her feel better, why did he care? She kept the basement door shut so the pups couldn't get to it; they couldn't reach the doorknobs, so they wouldn't be able to get down there. "It's something my friend Sabeen gave me. She uses it, and she's fine."
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He raised a brow involuntarily when she explained about the "juice." Although he nodded, it seemed to him that anything you'd inject with a needle should be bad. It was too involved and violent a way to get the stuff into your system to be any good. And something else about her had changed; it was just her general air that made him uneasy. Perhaps she was just upset about not knowing where her children were, as she had mentioned. He hadn't been aware of that. He knew Mati and Brooklyn were still around, but he wasn't certain about the two boys. "Okay... I can understand that," he said lamely.
The idea of using the liquid on himself was repulsive, though in that instant, he had no clue why he felt that way—if it was as harmless as she said it was. Perhaps because he'd promised Savina he wouldn't drink, and whatever this was seemed to have the same effect as alcohol. And then it dawned on him—this was exactly why he felt an aversion to it. It was like alcohol. Naniko wasn't acting drunk; she was livelier. But she was using a substance that affected her personality. "No, thank you. I'm good." His baby blues were still full of concern, but he relaxed enough to sit down a bit closer to her. "What's it called?" he asked, suddenly feeling that the conversational nature of the question was absurd.
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There were many different kinds, apparently. She thought that she had maybe built up some kind of a tolerance to the one that she'd been using...cocaine...but when she mixed it with just a tiny bit of something else, some other drug or herb, it made it feel like the first time she'd used it. So, so wonderful. She pointed to a packet of powder sitting on a small table on her other side. "This is cocaine. Oh man...I don't even know what I'd do if I didn't have it now. It's just fun to use."
It really did make her feel better, both physically and mentally. She felt sharper and more focused when she was using it. "The other one was heroin. I don't use it as much. I don't really like it as much...but sometimes I do." She nodded. "How is everything with you, Kansy?"
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She did seem so... happy. Terrible things had happened to the girl in the past year. Maybe they were still tangled up inside her more tightly than he had thought. She deserved to be happy, he just wished she could find a way without using. In the stories he read, drugs lead to nothing but pain and regret, and Naniko didn't need any more of that. He didn't want to see that happen to her. He just thought she'd been okay lately: she had her mate, Anu, as far as he was aware. Everyone in the pack loved and respected her. Why did she feel like she needed substances?
"Cocaine." he repeated. The word felt harsh on his tongue. "Okay," he added with a melancholy note to his voice. He had heard of both heroin and cocaine, but he didn't know how they were used or what their effects were, other than what he saw now. The chipper tone of her voice, the nickname she called him so affectionately... it about broke his heart. He didn't know why. Perhaps it was the sick feeling in his stomach, the unexplained dread he felt toward what Nani was doing. "Ah, everything's... good. I feel good. My kids are doing fine, and Savina seems to be happy." His eyes fell to the floor, searching for some common ground, something to take them away from the reality of the current circumstance. "Still sad about Mom, though." A risky route to take.
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ooc:
There were all kinds of drugs out there, apparently. She only knew about these two, but Sabeen had told her about the others. There were even some that grew from the ground, some that were very easy to find. She had wondered about trying those, too...but so far these ones were working for her. They made her feel awesome. She had started doing the drugs on accident at first, having found the packets in the city in an old bar....but it had grown into something much more. She really was addicted.
"I miss her, Kansy. Maybe I didn't appreciate her enough...But so many things happened when I was little that you weren't here for...she did some bad things. But they did get better there toward the end...after you guys came." How old was he now? How old was she? Three? She felt like she was much older than that. "I feel like I'm getting so old" She said, frowning suddenly. "We're all grown up"
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Kansas had heard only of alcohol, which was a given for almost anyone, and of course the two Naniko had described to him. He was certain that there were many, many more out there, though. He knew that many humans had habits with drugs, and as if one or two wasn't quite enough for their liking, they'd had many. Kansas was very curious about them, admittedly, but again, he would have hated himself if he got sucked into them. He wondered if Naniko was at that point yet.
"Bad things...?" he muttered tentatively, without really thinking. Now that he thought about it, this was probably not the time to talk about his mother. He was not honestly sure what the stuff Naniko was on could make her say. She might get upset more easily, or something like that, and he didn't want her to cry. Fortunately, she had started on another train of thought, and he answered her gratefully. "Sometimes I feel old too. But... we're not old. We have a long way to go, I think." He paused a moment, looking at the syringe on the floor nearby and then back up at Naniko. "We both had to... to grow up faster than we should've."
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[html] ooc: Can we close this one? ^_^
She didn't know that the drugs were bad, really...just that she liked to use them and that they made her feel nice. Naniko didn't know if they had any long term effects or if they were affecting her judgement. She felt fine, no different than normal. Even better, maybe. "She went crazy...tried to kill me once. I had to run away." She explained. It was all she would say about it, for now. Maybe there would be another day, a better day, for explaining to him about what their mother was like before he had come along.
"I think so too, Kansy." She said. "But we'll make it." Naniko stood up, motioning toward the upstairs. They could get something to eat and talk a little more...enjoy the conversation that had started up between them again.
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Her words came as a complete shock to him. He honestly felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. But he didn't want to let himself feel the effects of what Naniko had told him about their dead mother; not right now. He was too grateful to finally be talking to his old friend again for that. However, he did not look forward to having to process it later, knowing there would be tears involved. So Kansas merely wiped the stunned expression off his face and cleared his throat. He nodded, grinning at Naniko after she'd spoken. She wasn't quite herself, but he just couldn't pass up the opportunity to spend time with her again. He'd missed talking to her. No matter what nonsense had happened between them, they were still brother and sister. Still best friends. At least he thought so.
"We will," he replied, not sure if he really believed it. She swept her hand toward the stairs, and he nodded once more. He didn't want to be down here anymore. Kansas took a moment to look into her eyes, their beauty marred by the effects of the drug. Then he smiled again, nudging her hand meaningfully and then standing up on all fours to head for the stairs with her.
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