Woke up tonight and no one's here with me
#1
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ooc: Attila don't know what is love DX no need to match size
W.C.: +700

     It was the most beautiful scene. A wide clearing, the forest scarcely crawling inside it when it was seeable. But the beauty wasn't in the maple and pine trees. It was in how the grass and the rare wild flowers were almost impossible to see, as they were drowned into the white fluffy sea of blow balls, filling completely the extension of the meadow. So pretty...
     
Sitting there, his back lying over the massive shoulder blades of Markku, hugging lightly his knees, their path marked by the blow balls were blown away by their walking, the ful moon up high in the clear, cloudless pitch black sky, jeweled with duzens of stars.
     
The bully juvenile had found this meadow out of nothing, as he had been just wandering around the territory. It was extremly stupid the silent he had kept, from the very beginning of that morning to this very moment, the night cloak sheltering him. Keen, the baby barn owl, was sleeping peacefully in the top of his head, it's slow breathing impossible to hear, even for his sharp ears.
     
He sighed, looking up at the bright stars, the Milky Way galaxy swirling shapes and shapes into the black background of the Universe... It was exquisitively beautiful. Or it would, if he'd actually able to see it. As he gazed upon that amazing scenery, it was like there was an obstruction between his grayish blue eyes and that beauty. And the obstruction was a face. A face he knew well - maybe too well. A face with each he had lived since ever, a face that was as trickster as he was. As smart as he was. Her water green eyes glared inside his, her brown and tanned fur shone with a silver tint with the moonlight. Ocèane.
     
He sighed, curling completely over his legs, his arms wrapping tigher around his knees. As usual, Markku's crimson eyes looked at him, full of worry.
     
The pale boy knew he would soon to enter the teenagehood, and that it meant his hormones would start to run wild, and that would bring a new way to see the world, and new ways to feel things. But he just can't seem to know what was that. He wasn't sure how he felt about his sister. That incondicional love for his siblings - at least his sisters - and for his mother seemed to be fading into just a normal love for them. Before, he felt the need to be around them. Now, he felt just like they were his family, and that was all.
     
But Oce... It felt different about her. It looked... stronger. It wasn't the survival need to be around her. It was just... a need to be around her. It felt just too weird. He couldn't understand that.
     
A heavy sigh behind him sent some blow ball's seeds around him, and he had to look at the Spirit Guide. His blood red eyes were impenetrable, but full of worry and caring. "Wha's up with ya, whelp? Ya look... sick." He said, his husky, deep voice echoing in the silent of the night. What could he say? The boy actually felt rather sick, but he wasn't willing to make the bear even more worried. He just shook his head, sighing again.
     
He grabbed one of the billions of blow balls, looking at it. So simple, and yet so simple. Beautiful. Or it would, if he could see it right. A deep breath and he blew it, the cloud of seeds spreading away, bouncing in the air. Pretty.
     
The boy almost growled, enraged with not being able to make out what was that feeling. It made him more than angry, and the back of his hands itched, a normal reaction to when he wanted to hit something. His white brows furrowed, and he grabbed rather gently the bird from the top his head. He looked, angry, into the startled, wide pitch balck eyes of the nestling. "You softened me!" He acused, his voice rough. The bird simply tilted his head, a low cry scaping out of his minimun beak. Another sigh.
     
Keeping the bird in his hands, he stared again into the skies, trying to break through that face, not succeeding.
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#2
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500+ I played out that Noir can see Attila's spirit guide, is that alright?

........
She couldn’t sleep. She did not think he could either. Attila was not together with his family in the den, and now the girl had set out after him, defying the scary dark that she feared so much normally. In her jaws, she dragged two of the stick things with some sort of net thing in the end and a ball resting in one of the two. Someone had shown the game to the girl a few weeks earlier, but she had forgotten about it. The Aston girl had thought about it again now when she had noticed that Attila was not around. Perhaps if he just got to run a bit around and release some energy, he would get tired and come join them in the den? To be honest, Noir did not know how she was supposed to play it in her lupus form. Perhaps do like she did not, hold the tool in her jaws and attempt to catch the ball or something. She did not know how to play it, but she was more than willing to try to do so in order to entertain her ivory brother. She hummed loudly, trailing the most recent trail of scent in her pursuit after Attila Aston.

........
Kinigisdi came down from nowhere and settled on one of the stick ball things, riding along in silence. Once or twice Noir turned around to see if the light form of Baby Duck followed, but her baby was probably sound asleep in his purple box house. Soon enough she found Attila. Along with her brother was his big and scary spirit guide. Noir could never feel fully comfortable around the large bear, although she knew that she had no reason to do so. The grizzly was a predator greater and stronger than the wolf, and it was probably why she felt so uncomfortable with it around. At the same time it was possible that she envied her brother for having such a large spirit guide. Kinigisdi was so small, but that was okay too, because she really liked the bird’s song and appearance. However, she would have to deal with the bear just as she had to deal with her brother. She loved her brother. The light creamy girl laid down the things she had held in her jaws. Kinigisdi placed itself on the girl's head.”What are you up to, Attila? It’s late and you should sleep!” she said, sounding a little bit like her mother with saying what he should be doing. She only meant well, though.

........
Her face gesticulated over to the things she had dropped to the forest floor. ”Want to play with me, brother? Perhaps it can make us tired?!” the girl said, determined to not look up over the forest and get lost in the amazing beauty of the night sky. Golden eyes uncertainly strode to the large bear before they returned to her brother’s white form. What was he thinking about out here all on his own? Worry touched the girl’s heart, but if Attila wanted to talk about anything, she was sure that he would tell her. It would do no good to bother him by asking him out.

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#3
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ooc: yeah, sure!

Attila was feeling like crying when the pitch voice called out for him. The familiar voice of Noir only made a startled white ear flick backwards, but the bear rose the large squared head to her, bloodred eyes glittering in the dark. But then he relaxed, landing his head in the ground again, slowly but the wind formed by the movement sent another but lighter cloud of feathery seeds from the blow balls into the air.

He sighed, heavier than ever, from irritation and disappointement. There was only one voice he wanted to hear, but it was already echoing inside his head in the most maddening way. He then turned with uneager eyes to her - not helping but noticing the blue bird in the girl's head. Gosh, did every bird in this tribe had to sit in heads?! The baby barn owl strechted out the neck upwards, looking at the bluebird's beady eyes with his own pitch black eyes.

He looked with hard eyes to her, but, in their depths, there was still a reflection of the sadness in his little, young heart. "No, thanks you. I don't feel in the mood." He said, his voice with a rather faked bitterness. Faked because he really felt not in the mood. He spit out the thank you part, the irony in it not faked at all.

He then turned away, resting his chin in the arms upon his knees. Another sigh, and Markku grunted, another cloud of white cotton flowing into the cool air. He looked annoyed, and the boy couldn't blame him. Probably the girl soon would too, and would leave him alone.

Weirdly, that abandonment feeling seemed to fade lightly with her, sitting there beside him. It seemed to help baring that awful pain, that emptiness in his chest. He eyed her for a second, hesitantly, fearing she would be looking at him. The pale boy suddenly threw his head backwards, his hands in his face. His backs layed in the soft frame of Markku, which looked at him with startled, worried, caring crimson eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut, the anger for not knowing what that feeling was almost springing out of him. He growled in rage. "Damn it...Why!?" He thought out loud, knowing that his sibling would not understand why was that reaction, but he wasn't willing to explain it. Not if she asked him. And he hoped she wouldn't. Probably she would not understand. He had always felt the more... premature of the litter. Besides Claudius nad that stupid lisp, he was the one that talked more clearly. And he was the first one to shift, and -it looks like- the first one to leave the tribelands. And, probably, the first one to feel like this. Or the others seemed to bare that so much better than him. No, that was not possible.

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#4
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500+

Noir was rather discontented with her ivory brother’s reaction when she spoke. Instead of giving her an answer straight away, he sighed and openly threw about with irritation and disappointment. Noir was not the brightest of wolves, but it was not hard at all to witness all the rudeness and the rest. Her intentions had only been pure, but he had already delivered a mental slap straight in her face, and the girl staggered backwards in the hostility in his voice. What in the world had she done to deserve such a horrible treatment? Those golden eyes watched him in a slightly disbelief as he eyed her before he threw his head backwards. The girl took a few steps backwards away from her brother, wishing she had not approached him at all. Why was he angry? Noir failed to understand the reason why, as she had not yet truly started worrying about Ocèane. Their sister had spent almost two entire weeks away when she found her own spirit guide, and she had only been gone again for a week or so. Noir was positive that her darker sister was out with her spirit guide, having a wonderful time.

The boy’s growling words made her lips turn into a single, hard line. Oh, fine, if he wanted to wallow in self pity, then she would let him. The blonde girl had only wanted to be kind and attempt to cheer him up, but he had thrown it back at her and behaved like a stupid baby. If he wanted to be a stupid baby, then Noir would not stop him from that. Poor grizzly spirit guide having to be the guide for a stupid baby! Noir turned away, reluctant to ask what exactly was wrong, because she knew that Attila either just did it for attention, or would just not reveal the issue to her anyway. Either way she would not talk to him when he was sour and mean like that. He had no reason to treat her like this at all. She wished she had never gotten up. She should have just visited Baby Duck in its house and slept there instead. Noir always slept well when she had her Duckling’s soft furry like body close against her.

The lightly coloured girl wandered back to the equipment she had brought in order to make Attila happy. The idea had backfired, but she would be able to entertain herself anyway. ”Kinigisdi, you have that stick thing and I have this and I’ll throw the ball to you so that you can catch it okay?” the girl said to the spirit guide. A mental sigh from the bluebird sounded inside Noir’s head, but she ignored it. She did not care how stupid it was to play stick ball with a bird that could not even move its stick thing. This would at least be much more fun that standing around with stupid baby Attila. ”Big grizzly bear guide man, you can come play too so that you don’t have to sit and watch Attila be a cry-baby.” she called out towards the bear before she picked up the racket that held the ball and started to step backwards away from Kinigisdi.

With a toss of her head and the stick thing with the net on the end, Noir attempted to throw the ball over to Kinigisdi. The ball fall straight down on the ground in front of Noir. The girl sighed lightly, wishing she knew how to shift.



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#5
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ooc: --

Attila let his sad eyes wander as his sister walked away. Soon, he found himself staring at his light sibling, her light fur almost white in the moonlight. She talked with her Spirit Guide. Playing a game that required hands -things that she didn't have - with a tiny bird - that could do nothing with that racket - seemed a complete waist of time. And it would be fun to watch, he thought.

She spoke with Markku, and he rose once again his head, listening to her proposal. He twsited his lips and just shrugged, landing the massive head in the ground again. She was saying that he could fun instead of just watching the pale boy being... a cry-baby?!? Alright, that offended him. He narrowed his angry eyes, knowing they now would be bursting in flames with the anger. Who had been the cry-baby until now?! She couldn say nothing about his feelings. Feelings not even him could understand.

He wasn't planning to hurt her feelings, but he couldn't - he wouldn't - let her out of that that easily! The bully juvenile felt his lips pulling over his teeth lightly, only enough to say he was in a worse mood than before. "You can't say anything about me! You don't know what I'm feeling right now, sis'. And you never will. So just shut up!" He growled out, angry that she was commenting things she didn't know.

He then watched she try to throw the ball into the air. It landed in the ground just a few inches away from her feet, almost as ironic as a rock sinks in the water. He giggled lightly, and then sighed, the humor flowing away quickly - too quick - and letting the sadness and abandonment come back, his heart disappearing again.

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#6
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300+


The bear did not seem to bother with her at all. Just as Attila, Noir thought he was rude for not dignifying her with anything than something that perhaps was a possible shrug. After all, the bear was his spirit guide, so she shouldn’t really be surprised at that. An ear was the only thing that visibly revealed that the girl had heard her brother’s angry words. She had expected that much since she had openly called her brother a cry baby, so she was far from surprised. Why should she shut up though, she had not even been speaking to him. He could not tell her to shut up, so there, because Noir Aston was allowed to speak to whoever she chose to speak to. She could keep from talking to him, but her brother did not own the air! The brownish girl let go of the stick thingy and went to retrieve the ball, picking it up in her jaws and placing it back in the net like thing on the end of the stick thing so that she could try again. The brilliantly coloured bird jumped sideways on the wood handle, probably planning on moving away from the ball more than anything if Noir ever managed to make a good throw.

”Nah, Kin, I really don’t like cry-babies like my stupid, mean brother.” the girl said casually to the bird, not dignifying Attila with as much as a glance. The bird fluttered its wings indifferently and did not seem to care to provide any answer. Noir did not really expect it to either. The spirit was not much like the blonde child. It was neither particularly playful nor funny. It was supportive in hard times and seemed to have more of a brain than her, but else from that it just seemed to follow her around, though sometimes it just was not there. She found it quite odd, but she believed that she was getting used to it. There was company in the bird, if nothing else, though Baby Duck was superb company as well. Oh, how Noir loved her little (getting larger and larger now, and she was growing very worried about the neck that just kept getting longer and longer) duckling.




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#7
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ooc: --

Attila tried as he could not to run and harm his sibling. His rage was tangible, but he couldn't allow himself such a blasphemy. Thought her words smshed his selfcontrol, he'd never forgive himself if he ever harmed his sisters. His hadns formed fists in his crossed arms,the sharp claws digging through his skin, the pain almost matching with his anger.

He bit his tongue as well, but he had to say. Though his plans of having two personalities, he had to control himself. After some deep breaths, his eyes resting in the stars, he relaxed enough to be able to look at her and say "Sorry... If. My actions. Hurt you." He said, his voice stiff and breaking all the time, as he still struggled with the anger.

Of course, the sorrow and emptyness could have been forgotten in the moment, and for that, he was thankfulfor her. But when he spoke, it slowly faded, and the sadness came again. 'Crap!' He thought, fighting the excess of water in his eyes. It was too much... Too much... "Do... Do you know where Oce had gone?" He asked, failing completely when trying to look uninterested. Annoying. He glanced at her, trying to see her golden eyes in the mild dark.

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#8
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300+


She fully expected proper rage to be born out of this behaviour of hers. She knew she was being mean and annoying, but she kind of wanted to provoke something more than simple sulking. His lack of physical retaliation for her words slightly surprised the child, which had expected the sibling to act out his anger. Golden eyes turned to her pale brother as he even apologized. They had not hurt a lot, because Noir very well knew how Attila was, and she knew that deep inside he loved her just like she loved him. If not, he would have hit her and been mean to her all the time and probably kill Baby Duck too. Things happened that announced that they were not perfectly nice to each other always, but Noir knew that they were just two very different individuals. She did not love him any less. Noir had too much love in her system for her brother to get properly hurt by him.

”Why are you angry, Attila?” the girl wondered loudly, having no clue if it was something she had done or not. Noir was not the sharpest moose on the shelf, and it happened quite often that she irritated people because of her ignorance. His question was surprising, and Noir’s ears perked curiously. Kinigisdi seemed to exploit her lack of focus on the game at the moment, and took flight and disappeared into the darkness above. ”No, I think she is on adventures with her super cute kitty spirit guide.” Yes, Noir thought Oce’s spirit guide had been illegally adorable, and had several times attempted to switch her own spirit guide with Oce’s. Was this why Attila was sad and angry? Why? Noir did not worry about Ocèane, because she was so convinced that her darker sister was out on adventures again. Oce had always liked adventures.




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#9
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ooc: --

Attila looked at his light sister with painful eyes, turning his head at her and resting it in his elbow, holding the mild laughter at her failing attempts to throw that ball to a reasonable distance to begin with. She mused out loud, and he managed to ear it. Another sigh. He noticed he was sighing a lot that night. No, not only that night. The whole time Oce was away. What a shame...

He grimaced, trying to figure out what was that feeling. Another failure. He scrathecd his mane, thinking, Keen in his other hand, probably sleeping again. "I'm... not sure why. I think that is because I'm feeling something, but I can figure out what it is..." He answered her, though that wasn't supposed to be a question. Therefor, it didn't need an answer.

Anyhow, he heard her reply his question about their brownish sibleng, and that sorrow hit him stronger, as his guesses had been confirmed. "Shoot! Why?!" He asked himself, not out loud like his sister. He let his mind wander to somewhere else, while he asked himself why did she don't give up of that game that demanded the opposite thumbs she didn't have? How did she do that?

Another sigh, and a struggle to get up. His muscles and joints were already getting stiff. A colateral thing of shifting so much while growing so fast, perhaps? He walked slowly to her, noticing his numbs finger and toes, but ignoring that. He stopped besides her, and kneeled to her, his head at the level of hers. "Can I play too?" He asked, his voice more polite than it had ever been. That sure was different, another proof he was changing. Dramatically, in the very least.
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#10
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300+


She stared at her brother. Was it unnatural to feel something? Did he never feel anything normally? Noir found that to be odd, because she felt loads of things all the time, and usually happy things that made her happy. Noir’s golden gaze travelled after Kinigisdi, but found that the bird was gone for now. Why did the bird leave Noir when she needed help? It was not fair. Was not these stupid spirit guides things supposed to help their persons? The girl’s face turned to Attila again, her mind slightly blank because she was confused. The Aston child had never seen her sibling act like this before, and she was not sure if she liked it. Why did he feel whatever he was feeling? Although they had just talked about Ocèane, Noir did not get the connection there. Of course Ocèane would come back, because she was only exploring with her pretty cat friend thing.

Suddenly the boy rose, and a pinch of jealousy because of his form hit Noir’s oversized heart, but she let it slide. Somewhere inside her there was a two legged Noir too, and Noir knew that two legged Noir would come when the time was right. She looked forward to it a lot. Attila asked if he could play, and Noir smiled and nodded instantly, although she wondered why he had suddenly gone from very mean to super nice. His voice sounded so nice, and for a moment she wanted nothing more than to run over to him and cuddle him for being so cute and nice to her. She controlled herself though and grabbed after the wooden play thing again, and the ball was already in the net. ”Okhay, r throwing!” The girl announced through clenched teeth. She turned her face away from Attila, and then jolted it back; tossing the ball a short distance this time, but the ball was never close enough to reach Attila. The ball settled on the ground halfway between them. Noir felt like a loser.




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#11
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ooc: --

Attila listened to the immediate agreement for him joinning her, the joy glittering in her eyes. That pleased him, eased that sorrow in his heart. That was good. he then grabbed the other wooden stick, holding it as his sister did... In a certain way. He held it with one hand where there was no net, as he figured out it should be used to hold the ball. He then waited, absent-minded, his grayish blue eyes following her each movement.

Her hardly held the giggle when the ball hadn't cross half the way between the two siblings. Biting his lower lip, he took a dep breath, not wishing to hurt his sister's feeling any further. The pale boy simply walked a few steps and lowered himself to get the ball. Going back to his place, he placed the ball inside the net, and left uthe stick in the ground. Quickly, he concentrated in the shift, turning himself back to his lupus self. Of course, he hated that form, but he wanted to play that game fair and square, to match himself to his blond sibling.

Grabbing the stick once again, but with his mouth, he faced the little girl. "Now tha' wee r fit too play... Geet yursel' weady!" He said with a mouthful accent because of the stick in his mouth. So, the bully kid that seemed to have turned good - for at least that night - prepared himself to throw the ball. Shaking his head strongly, the ball hadn't crossed longer than before, and he just tared at it. Soon, he laughed loudly, the stick hitting the ground. That was funny, sort off.

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#12
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300+


It was not often that Attila granted her such attention as this. Whenever he strode into his less ‘mean’ moods, she wanted to bounce with glee. It meant a lot to her, because as a sibling, she knew exactly what kind of creature her pale brother was, and it was a privilege when he reached out and actually made an effort into staying on her level, if only for a little while. The blonde girl’s tail wagged as contently as only a tail could despite her horrible throw. Oh, how she envied him of his shifted body. She waited patiently as he picked up the ball, but his next move after that surprised her. She had not seen anyone in the middle of a shift before, and it was an incredible sight. Did he realize how lucky he was to be able to do that? Noir’s jaw dropped and the wooden stick fell down on the soft ground in front of her. When he was done, he took the piece of wood in his jaws just like she had. She picked her own stick up obediently, but her desire to play this difficult game seemed to have completely died. Nevertheless, a small giggle erupted from the girl when her bully brother’s throw was no better than hers.

The girl dropped the stick again and executed the distance between her and Attila. She sat down straight in front of him and looked up at him with large, round eyes like only she could. A silent plea could be red in those golden orbs. ”Attila, how is it that you do shifts?” If he told her how he did it, perhaps she would better understand how to shift into that odd form. She wanted it so badly. Everybody walked around in their optime forms here in Aniwaya, and Noir ached to be a part of that community. Even stupid uncle Ho walked around on two legs, so it seemed that one did not have to be very smart to learn it.




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#13
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ooc: --

Attila heard his sibling laugh at his awful throw, and he was feeling a bit better. As long as the pale juvenile would not think about her, he would be fine. The he knew the perfect person to help him to forget was no one else but his sadly optimist, gentle sister.

She then came after him, and he sat down, finally feeling the sleepiness numb his tough muscles. Her round, cute, pleading eyes shown up, and he grimaced, flinching instintively from them. He knew what it meant: she wanted something. Nromally, something he couldn't give her. But it wasn't it. All she wanted was an answer, of how he shifted. Oh. He couldn't find the words for it. Shifting came so naturally for him now, he wasn't sure how to put it in words.

"Hmm... Gee, how can I explain it... Well, I just... Just focus in it, and it happens. It... Ugh, I can't put it in words, Noir." He said, growing annoyed, sometimes itching his neck, sometimes tapping his claws under the ball he reached for. That sure was difficult to explain. But he then laughed and patted once the top of her head, comforting. "No worry, you will know how when it comes." He said, smiling, showing his large teeth, but not scary in that kind gesture. Just... trickster.

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#14
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300+


Just focus and it happened? Noir closed her eyes and held her breath. She tried to tell her body to change, tried to focus on changing it into something else. Golden eyes opened, only to discover that nothing was happening. ”It doesn’t work, it’s not fair, I too want to be big and walk on two legs.” the girl complained after realizing that focusing did not seem to work for her. Perhaps it had to happen one time and then afterwards it could be controlled. Noir looked at her pale cream paws, wondering how they would look like when they turned into hands. The problem was just that the girl did not want to wait until it came. She wanted to learn how to shift now so that she could learn how to play this game properly. It was annoying; she was not good at doing anything, it seemed. ”I want to shift too..” the girl mumbled lowly and grumpily, looking down at the dark ground. It was not fair that Attila had a big bear spirit guide either. Or Oceane a super cute ocelot one. Life was not very fair always.




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#15
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ooc: Close it next round?

Attila messed her head's fur a bit more after her attempt to shift. It was fun to watch her squeeze the eyes shut and, trying to shift. His first time had been nothing like that. Funny how those things worked... Why couldn't everyone simply shift in a certain age? Well, that made the first time even more especial, he guessed.

"'Told ya, sis: it will come when you are not expecting. And it will come faster if you don't think much about it." He said, trying to comfort her. It had been different for him, as he had waited for it since he knew himself as a Luperci. Though, when he had felt those urges the whole day, he had no idea what those were until it was over, and he was shifted. Such an odd thing, that shifting stuff...

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