I thought I would give you all my love
#1
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Word Count: 513
mall-caps;">- a bitter tale unfolds that cannot be undone -


erif; size:140%;">it seems I had a secret I didn't know about,
'till the day it poured
it seems my secret has been bulging,
has been forcing its way
it seems I have a secret that will be my final stage



The pain in her stomach did not leave her, would not grant her a moment of peace. But now as she sat on the floor of their home, her body bent around itself, it was not the most prominent of pains. All her fantasies, gone. All of her dreams, too. What had she ever done, but lose everything? Time after time, happiness slipped from her small, white fingers. This time, with her heart held by a gray male who came at the most convenient of times, she had thought it safe. It could not break in his gentle grip. But, for all his pretty words, his grip was everything but gentle, and it seemed his leave came at the most convenient of times as well. She had shared everything with him, but that bargain had offered her nothing but pain in return. Her guitar could not soothe her anymore. Her voice could not sing, even if she had tried. Her honesty had hurt her again. When would she learn? Trust no one, not even your own blood. Especially not your own heart. Her mother, her sister. Her first lover, her children, and her faith. And now her most precious of them all - they all left her alone to rot in her own solitude. Except, she was not alone now - and the anxiety that came with that knowledge would not lessen its grip either.


Getting up, the female found a chair to sit in, and sitting down she purposely avoided looking at her own bed. It was a scene for things she did not want to think about. Her hand gently stroked her stomach as her eyes stared off into nothing, wet and laden with sadness. This was not the way she had thought it would be. All of her illusions were shattered, broken and dissolved into nothingness. Every day, she had prayed for this - for a second chance at putting children into this world. And now.. what had it gained her? She had thought it would make him come home, finally. For good, to stay. Yet now she sat here, and the only thing that shared her house was a cold, hollow breeze. And when she was gone, no one would live here, because these children would take her life and theirs with them - she was sure of it. She did not feel the same as last time, pains shot up from her insides all the time. So, he leaves her. And then, then she would die for him, all her suffering for nothing. And who would ever know or care? She had isolated herself, again. Thinking she was safe in her haven with Lubomir, she had not bothered to tie contacts elsewhere. And now she would die a lonely woman, with nothing to leave them.

erif; size:140%;">Everything was for nothing


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