[html] http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y199/l ... rtable.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> SSWM 1017 Would prefer a leader, though anything goes :3 He intends to let them know that Night is in Dahlia and can offer some news about the war.
The young boy had delayed this trip for a ling time and now it was hideously late and Dahlia de Mai was suddenly in the middle of a war. He felt bad for slacking with this, but his days seemed to have been filled up with general duties. He though it odd how quickly he was rising in the ranks, though the young male actually was putting a great deal of work into his ranks and always made sure to keep busy either this or that way. Lately there had been many children to care for. Thank god that Susquehanna had arrived to stay for a while at the time she had. He had sat by Mew’s limb side and had not known what to do. Kind aunt Mew with her caring and loving heart, he could not understand why the coyotes had picked her to suffer for his father’s horrible deeds to other groups. She had taught the male how to read and taught him that not his entire family loathed him like he first had believed. She had three small children and although his face had remained carved in stone bathed with seriousness, he had wept inside for the children and their mother. It was horrible to know that she might not make it. Conor had known abandonment in his life, this several times, though he had not been confronted with death of one he considered to be close to his heart before. Firefly had left him when he was small and too young to understand what was going on. His father had never cared. Mew had cared and shown him the magic that could be found in books and she had appreciated him for who he was.
The male slowly walked until he came to the marked borders of the pack where he knew his mother lived. Hurt burned in his chest as he thought of this – that she lived so very close and did not show interest in creating some kind of relationship with her boys. It was not too long ago that he had seen his lighter mother again after several months of separation, but his heart had been bitter and he had been unable to believe in the caring tones she had used as she had uttered his name. She could not possibly believe that they thought she cared when nothing the woman did was for her sons’ sake. She had done something foolish that had ended with Conor and Emwe being handed to a bastard of a father. It had ruined Conor almost to a degree where he never would have been able to get up and create an own personality and life. He owed Alexey Koios his life, and despite he could never truly see her as his mother ever again because of the love he carried in his heart, she had been so much more of a parent than any of his twisted real ones had been. Her soft scent ticked the young male’s nostrils and he felt his golden tail rub against a hind leg. He did not wish to see her, though there was of course the part of her that did. He wanted his mother back, but at the same time he knew that too much time had passed by and it was not possible for them to tie any sort of relationship without the aching bitterness in the young male’s heart.
The boy stopped by the northern borders of Cour de Miracles and rested for a few moments, going over some of the things he wanted to take up with whoever it was. The main topic would be Night Thames and her whereabouts. He knew that the black child had carried the scent of Cour de Miracles and he wondered why this was. Why had no one come to retrieve her? Had she truly been a loner child allowed to leave her former pack despite her age? He wanted to know why she had ended up in Dahlia de Mai and if this pack did not know her new whereabouts already then the young Mai would let them know. She was an odd one, the puppy, and he had determined though reading and observation that she had a horrible syndrome that prevented pain from being registered in her system. This was horrible and neither he nor Alexey had the ability to watch the adventurous puppy every moment because of Mew’s litter. Susquehanna meant that Mew could pull through this tragedy, but for now her children lived with Conor and Alexey. Conor also played with the thought of moving location now when it was official that Dahlia de Mai and Inferni had gone to war against each other. He did not wish to have any participation in this conflict, but his loyalty with Dahlia made the choice whether getting involved or not so hard. His father had started to gather dark minions and Conor did absolutely not feel at ease anymore, though he would do everything he could to protect the beings that were dear to him. Alexey wanted to move into the city in the middle of the territory and he wished for this too. Soon they would set off and leave the house where he had spent half his childhood.
The male finally let out a howl and sat down filled with patience. His howl had called for a leader, though it had not been overly specific because he knew not of the individuals here. He did not know who was alpha and if he had any sub-leaders. He just wished for a person that would know of Night and could answer the questions he wanted to ask them. If necessary then he could probably also warn them about the raging war that had come out of nowhere. Conor had never met one of the Inferni coyotes and had not known how tense things were until his aunt had been lethally injured and his father had spoken to his new, mindless minions about war and blood and glory.
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She had told Jacquez the truth, it hasn’t gone over how she’d wished it but in the light of the events to come she had to let go of the secret. She wanted Haku dead for a variety of reasons, some petty, some not, but now she’d been given the chance through the monster brewing another war between her pack of old and the clan. She had been disgusted by how pathetic and predictable he had become, it was the first war all over again. Had he felt that he had to turn the tables on the clan since one of their members had forced the first hand? She snorted in annoyance at the idea as she sat upon the porch of Jac’s cabin, eying the bulge of her belly before wiggling into a more comfortable position within the thick blankets. She would just wait for Jac to return, still not sure where they were going with their problems.
Her mind had trailed much back to the people of the pack that had grown sick of the war last time, the folks who had once been her friends. She thought on Emwe and Conor and wondered how they would survive this all. A shiver ran down her spine as she tried to push the fears away quickly. It wasn’t quick enough though as her stomach churned. Cercelee was gone.. she wasn’t certain she really believed it but she didn’t know if it was worth it to press her luck at their borders. She didn’t believe that any of those she’d once known would even speak to her of everything. She plucked at the fraying edges of a blanket as a frown settled upon her lips.
The idle thoughts were forced away at the commanding call at the borders. She frowned, knowing the call and yet not to some degree. She rose from the blankets and slowly began to move to the edge of the porch as she caught the last echoing notes of the call. The shiver trailed down her spine again as she took it upon herself to move across the lands to find the stranger who was in need of the service of the king. She was nothing more than his royal bed warmer but she doubted that Jacquez would say anything about her presence at the border; after all it was part of her duties to the pack. She sighed softly to herself and attempted to abandon the thoughts that haunted her as she went to see what troubled the borders.
What she found at the edge of their lands was not what she had expected. The form she knew well enough the closer she drew to the edge of their lands. Her brows furrowed together as she wondered what had drawn Conor to their lands. The confusion and concern was present in her voice as she called out as she drew closer. ”Conor? What’s wrong.. is everything ok?” She stopped in her advancing, knowing well enough that things were not ok. Haku was in charge of the lands and there was neither sight nor sound of Cercelee to be found. She kept her distance, sadness lingering in her eyes as she knew that Conor would not appreciate if she came closer.
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Of course it had to be his mother that was drawn to the call. He could feel his body slowly tense, but his silky fur still rested against his skin with an ease now shared by his inner turmoil. The young male swallowed hesitantly, though understood that he would have to face his horrors and fears in order to overcome them. She seemed confused and the young man could not help but wonder if this was because she had not even managed to recognize her own child’s voice. Judging thoughts quickly followed by accusations flooded his mind in a disturbing speed, but the boy’s lips was a thin line and his warm lavender hue seemed tranquil enough. He did not feel the calm though. The fire burned dully in his chest, merely muted by the strict control of his emotions; rejecting the most upset thoughts before they were allowed to spread through his mind like a sickness and turn this meeting ugly. The young Soul male was not like her father or his mother, and he would show them both that he was something better.
”I’m here on official pack matters, Firefly,” the male started off, determined that mother could no longer be used on her. His lilac eyes narrowed as they fell down on the bulk of the woman’s stomach and he now felt quite ill both mentally and physically. He just wanted to turn around and go back to Dahlia. The woman had never taken care of her first children, and now she was pregnant with a new litter. Disappointment unsettled his stomach and he wondered if he truly was that insignificant to her. The hurt wanted to force out tears into his eyes, but a rock hard determination ruled him – he would not allow her to show how much she still got to him. ”A little while ago there was a puppy called Night Thames by our borders. She was taken into Dahlia for food, warmth and protection, but her fur carried your pack’s scent.” He was confused about this, for he knew that the girl’s trail easily could have been traced down and until now he had expected an adult to pop up at one point to take the strange child back to her home.
”Why was she all alone and why have no one come to Dahlia to claim her back?” He struggled with hiding disappointment and disgust. A child had wandered away and they had not come for her and they were already breeding more? He did not want these ugly thoughts to be inside of his head. He knew little about Night, but abandoning a child in such a fashion made him angry. It was irresponsible and while he did not know the rest of Cour de Miracles’ members well, he knew that this woman in front of him too was irresponsible. His eyes did not hold the rising temper within them though. Perhaps he indeed had inherited some of his father’s abilities. While Conor was not cold and dead inside like his father, he did work to achieve some of the same things as Haku had. He needed to find that inner focus to regain control whenever his emotions started to spin, like now. He was improving.
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Firefly shouldn’t have been surprised by the tone of her son when she appeared. Her ears pinned back lightly against her skull as her entire posture dropped. She had not expected him to come looking for her but she could still hope. Now it was more than apparent that still he wanted little to do with her. Her emerald eyes never wavered from the boy though as she stood before him and took in the commanding voice he addressed her in. It was like a knife cutting into her soul when he spoke her name and dared not call her mother. It took her a moment to regain her control as she stood up straighter and raised her chin. If he wanted to be formal then she could be as well. ”Then what brings you here on official business?” She wondered if it had anything to do with his father and the havoc he was creating across the lands but she didn’t press her luck in finding out.
She noticed his roaming orbs as they settled upon her belly. Her orbs narrowed slightly as she didn’t follow his gaze or act as though she was embarrassed at what he saw. Her voice was brisk as she laid the truth before him, before he could begin to spin some wild tale in his young mind. ”They are the kings, if you had any interest in knowing, because it’s more than apparent that you weren’t going to ask.” She wasn’t being cruel, but the pregnancy, not matter how she viewed it had been seen as a plague to the king. She would give these children everything that she had been unable to give her own. She wondered what Conor really thought of it all but she was too afraid to ask, her temper being so close to the tip of her tongue she wouldn’t dare to let it loose on her son.
When Conor finally got down to the heart of the matter Firefly just nodded quietly. She had known that Night had left and found herself in Dahlia de Mai. Firefly would have loved nothing better than the young child to return to Cour des Miracles but she was not her mother and she would not make that decision for her. She feared though for the young one, believing that Haku would bring his darkness down upon her as he had her own mother. She had never told her children why she never came back to the lands to see them nor had she ever asked if they knew themselves. She had been taking a risk in talking to Night so close to the lands she was banished from.
Conor’s disappointment and disgust would have been well hidden if Firefly hadn’t expected something of the sorts from her son. She had never done right by him or his brother and she didn’t expect a chance to regain their trust and confidence now, but what was between them was another matter, how she treated her pack mates was something entirely different. Her voice was sharp with anger as she narrowed her eyes on her own flesh and blood as she spoke. ”I know where young Night Thames resides and I would do better to know she wasn’t within the same lands as the man who raped and brutalized the child’s mother. Because your own father had declared my life forfeited if I step onto Dahlia de Mai’s lands I can do little to try and coax her back home.” She lifted her head higher, her eyes blazing as she continued. ”I would much appreciate it if you make certain that no harm comes to her in those lands.” Her cold voice drifted between the two of them as she tried to regain control of her own emotions, knowing that if she didn’t watch it she would say more things she would regret later.
Her eyes, though bright with anger still stung at the insult Conor had given her. She was not perfect, no she was far from it but she was trying. Perhaps she was a little too quick to jump into things or she didn’t look at all sides of an issue before making her choices but they were hers to make and she would make them. Her voice was almost back to it’s normal tone, a bit of annoyance still lingering in it as she moved on. ”Where are Cercelee and Cwmfen?” She asked, knowing that the two had done very well to balance Haku’s darkness in the past. She didn’t understand where the other two leaders of Dahlia de Mai had gone. None of this made sense. She couldn’t see Cercelee leaving the pack she cared about so much in the hands of the foul beast. Something wasn’t right.
If he wanted to make this an official meeting on pack business then she would let it remain that. She needed information and she had a firm source before her. She had told Jacquez she would try and talk to members of Dahlia de Mai but she hadn’t expected any to arrive within their lands so soon after the pack’s meeting.
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Conor knew not who the King was, but it was the woman and not the male that he wanted to curse for this. It was the bitterness of being left alone when he was young and needed her. He wondered if he would ever manage to forgive her for not being there. Perhaps this was a possibility – or could have been, for though her voice seemed to soften in his presence, she never reached to be his mother again. Conor did not want warmth and love from the woman whenever they happened to stumble across each other if that was all that he could be given. Perhaps these children would face a better future with parents actually being there. It hurt to know that he was being replaced though. She had lost and then abandoned her first children and now she was giving motherhood a new try and discarding her first litter. These were the young boy’s thoughts and beliefs; not necessarily the actual truth. He did not know her. Perhaps this was why he was judging so hard.
Ears flickered backwards as Firefly spoke ill of his father and provided him with new knowledge. He knew nothing about a rape, and though it was fresh to him he wondered why she had chosen to add that in when it had nothing to do with the daughter that had wandered into Dahlia from Cour de Miracles. Haku was a horrible man, this was true, but he did not hold absolute power within the lands. A light frown could not be removed from his face as he thought her words over. To say that Night had not been retrieved because of Haku was hard to believe despite the current relationship between the golden boy’s parents. ”She is merely a child; she does not know what is best for her. How could your pack allow her to make a choice to call a pack she does not know for home? Doesn’t anyone her love her enough to take her back to where she belongs? Judging by your words you do not plan to bring her back?” Although he felt somewhat upset at the thought of the lack of love for Night in her righteous pack, his voice was only sad and wondering as he spoke, contrasting his mother’s coldness and anger.
She jumped over to a different subject and he took it as a sign that she did not wish to speak of the sable child with the blue eyes. Another orphan. He could see himself in the little girl. ”Cwmfen returned to her homeland before winter set in and Cercelee has disappeared,” he answered his mother slowly, wondering why she loathed his father so much when she had once loved him. Perhaps desire had been the foundation of the relationship. He knew that he could never turn around to hate Alexey.
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She hated seeing the look that crossed Conor’s face as he stood before her. She had known long ago when they’d first met after she’d left the pack that there was little love between the two. She flicked her ears back as she sighed and gave up hope of getting him to see things her way. She eyed him instead and realized that he was just a stubborn as she was, probably one thing he’d inherited from her, not that she’d ever mention it to him. He’d probably strive to change his ways at any mention of his likeness to her. She turned her eyes away and pleased, ”Maybe if you just gave me a chance instead of hating me for things I could never change you’d understand.” her voice was sad as she let her gaze drift back to him. {b]”I’m not going to try and make you understand who I am though, there’s obviously no point.”[/b] Her emerald eyes glittered slight with annoyance and anger. She knew she couldn’t blame Conor’s feelings solely on his father, but it seemed like a good idea. She had known there had been quite a few members in the pack that had turned from her after finding out the truth. Firefly didn’t care now what they thought but she wished that her son would at least give her a chance.
She held still as Conor went on to berate her in the judgment she’d held over Night’s choice to stay. She flicked her ears back in annoyance once more as she glared at her son. She would rather the boy knew his place but it didn’t seem like she would be able to teach him, besides he was a guest in these lands and it would look ill if she did infact show him how to show respect. It would figure that he would turn out so emotionally attached to ideas as her mother had been. She shook her head at the idea and spoke, her distaste for his words apparent as she spoke brutally and honestly. ”Would you rather me have taken her back and your father have found out. Do you think he would have cared that she had resided with us first. I don’t think so. He probably would have just added my own pack as another enemy and asked his loyal subjects to go to war against us as well as Inferni for his own mistakes.” She narrowed her eyes slightly as she added. ”It wasn’t Night’s choice to live in Cour des Miracles anyways. Her mother had given her away to another and that woman had brought her to our pack after Svara had killed herself. There’s nothing in our pack for her but bitter memories of a mother she’d never know.” She didn’t even know if Haku knew that night was Svara’s daughter but she hoped he never found out. ”If you were smart you’d make certain Night never let Haku know who her mother is.” She turned away from his gaze, knowing she hadn’t truly answered his questions, but how was she to tell him that she would not risk her own life nor the lives of her young for a child who had made her own choice.
When she’d lead away from the first conversation Firefly was indeed surprised that Conor decided to speak of the tow leader’s disappearances. She glanced at him doubtfully when he said that Cercelee had just disappeared. She growled and flicked her tail back and forth agitated as she asked. ”Do you know where she went? Why she left?’ She didn’t like the way this was going but she couldn’t change the past. Instead she plowed forward into something she knew solid truth on. ”What excuse has your father given the pack for this war he’s so bent on pursuing?” She had little information on what Inferni had done to Dahila de Mai in turn, but she knew what Haku had done to Inferni.
She glanced towards the path she’d come from and hesitated before adding. ”We know about the war. While our pack hasn’t chosen sides Jacquez, or king has agreed to offer sanctuary to anyone who wishes not to participate, or perhaps is too young. Cercelee gave the pack a choice to fight or not in the first war, I don’t know if Haku would grant that grace, but if there are any who have grown weary of bloodshed and violence, they can stay in the Chien Hotel.” She was quiet a moment before adding finally. ”Just let anyone who wishes to come know that all they need to do is tell any member they run into why they are here.” She didn’t say anything, but her eyes pleaded for Conor to accept the king’s sanctuary, she didn’t care if he loved her or not she didn’t want to see him caught in the middle of Haku’s bloodletting.
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An ear flickered hastily as his mother’s voice rung out for him. His face was feeling more and more like a mask now, but it held well and his face felt just as neutral and unmoving as it looked. Eyes narrowed slightly as he looked upwards to the passing clouds in the distance. ”Don’t,” was his single reply. That was all it was to it. He did not wish to listen to her. He could easily acknowledge that he did not have even half the facts on his side, but it seemed that she loved her helplessness and so far nothing that had happened was her fault according to her. No one was innocent. No one. She went on, and he suppressed a sigh as he heard her words found their way to his golden ears. Was this how the woman always was? Exaggerating to such degrees and with such vivid loathing in her body for one single man? He looked at her with an expression that spoke most of indifference to those words she served him. They were not the same as before, but he heard the same message being replayed. Not her fault, Haku was the devil. Was that so?
They were talking about a child and not Haku. Strange how his father was pulled into everything. He let her finish though, for he wished not to be anymore impolite than he had to be. ”My father does neither care about the child nor what happens with her.” This should be enough, and if she was unwilling to believe him then so be it. He would not go into a heating argumentation with her over a child that seemed to have it better in Dahlia de Mai anyway. It was sad to realize that she had been alone from the moment she had arrived in these lands. ”And so she was a burden; a motherless orphan that none cared for.” sadness seemed to sneak into his voice again; for sad was what he was when it came to Night. ”My father knows that Svara Thames is Night’s mother and he let Alexey take the child in just like she took me in when I too was more or less an orphan. A pack takes care of its members despite severed family ties, but it seems you do not share that opinion from what I hear. Maybe the child managed to find her right home on her own after all.” He meant what he said.
”I don’t know where she went; I only know that she left us when we needed her the most.” He did not like her tone and the way she repeatedly lashed out at Dahlia’s leader. Of course, Conor could easily have joined in on the crucifixion, but he believed that he held higher standards. Haku was a bastard, but he had not unleashed all known evil upon the world. He knew that war was here and the coyotes had taken down Mew Sadira. While he could have listened to reason in a better way, he was unable to find reason in his biological mother’s words. She seemed like an unhappy creature that needed to put all guilt elsewhere. She judged so heavily that he could not believe her. Again Haku was attacked and in that same sentence she even offered sanctuary in this pack. Although he wanted to wrinkle his nose at that thought, this would definitely be something he would pass on to interested parts. ”Those who fight will fight, those who won’t will not.” It was very simple.
”Dahlia has not touched Inferni lands as of yet, but Inferni has already attacked several of my pack's members. Mew was shot by a human firearm by an Inferni member on Dahlian soil.” It was probably not wise to let her know about things, but it seemed she had her own idea of the war and that was all Haku Soul. ”A family member I care for is dying and I am glad my father chooses to do something about the situation.” He took a step backwards and halfway turned now, for he wished not to stay here with this female. She would not understand.
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Firefly felt like she was choking on everything she had said as one word fell from her son’s lips. Her ears pinned back against her skull as her shoulders sagged. She didn’t know what to say and for once she knew enough to keep her mouth shut. She didn’t want to even sit here a moment longer, knowing now that Conor wanted nothing to do with her. He wouldn’t even give herself a chance to redeem herself. Instead she just bowed her head and nodded silently, attempting to keep the tears at bay.
After that one word was spoken she should have known that there was no sense in thinking that he would even believe a word she spoke. Instead she just sat there and took what he had to give her, knowing that she probably deserved it in some part. A spark in anger blossomed from her chest as she raised her head slowly and eyed the boy who she’d loved so once and still did, even if he didn’t believe it. She spoke sharply as she eyed her son in annoyance. ”It doesn’t matter what I tell you, you’ll believe only what you want to hear.” She turned her gaze away from him as she finished. ”I won’t try and offer any reason for anything I do now, I only hope you’ll learn to curb your narrow mind.” She knew what she said was cruel but he had pushed her far enough. She had made her mistakes but she was trying, obviously pointlessly to make amends.
His words on Cercelee left chills rolling down Firefly’s back as she watched him. She didn’t know if he meant that as in the war that came to their door or the point in leaving his father in charge. She didn’t press farther to find out though, Conor seemed to be in a sour enough mood already because of her presence and she didn’t want to push it any farther. She flicked her ears back and forth as she sighed. So Conor seemed to think that they would be able to protect their own, even when they were in the middle of war. ”Fine, just know there is aid if needed for those that wish to escape.” She narrowed her eyes as she added. ”Are you going to protect them all if the war makes it into the pack’s lands.” She turned her eyes away a moment as she tried to regain control over her annoyance.
Firefly and Mew had never been great friends but when she heard Conor’s side of the story she jerked her head back quickly to stare at him, her eyes wide before she frowned. Her voice was bitter as she added. ”Did you ask your father why they might have attacked?” She knew he would probably doubt the words she brought forth but she moved on. ”He attacked, Kaena, one of the leaders of Inferni. Then Inferni attacked. She didn’t add that she wouldn’t be surprised if the assault had more to do than just maiming her. She hadn’t pressed Anselm for the details but perhaps she would later. She just stared at him quietly, her eyes unmoving as she asked one more question, ”Why are there traps set around Dahlia de Mai?” She didn’t know if he would answer but she had to ask.
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Annoyance and anger seemed to be the feelings he stirred up in her now. Perhaps it was for the best, for then they would match, though he did not openly let his emotions shine through his words. The words she spoke now, insults included and all made the boy want to speak up in defense for himself in an attempt to open her eyes to how unreasonable she sounded by putting all the so much of what was wrong in the world upon Haku, but he chose against such a move. He had not come to get into arguments with his mother and he doubted she wanted him to take more time here than necessary. He was willing to take many things into consideration before taking a stand to something, but it was not possible when he knew that the majority of the female’s spoken words today were false – a mere tale of words harvested from what she possibly imagined. He did not doubt in his mind that she actually believed in the words she spoke. Getting killed if she went and retrieved Night and so on. Conor could even have offered bringing the black furred puppy to Cour de Miracles’ door. It was fortunate that he had not, for he had decided that if a child was unloved and uncared for here then she would stay in Dahlia de Mai. Everyone deserved care and a home, even if they had no family.
Ears swiveled backwards as she spoke as if he had declined Cour de Miracles’ offer to provide shelter for those who did not wish to go to war. Again he decided against commenting on it, for he feared she would only twist and bend his words in her head. He did not understand why seemed to want to mock him by asking if he would protect them all if the war managed to move into Dahlian lands. It had already, but he did not understand her reasons for trying to make him look foolish. ”I will do what I can to protect those I love,” he answered just as simply, deciding a third time not to sink down to her level and take up the ridicule she attempted to toss on him. He felt no desire to play her little games. He could easily accept her view of things, but he did not understand why he should be attacked verbally when refusing to take those views in as his own. He already had his own.
Bitterness was the most prominent emotion when she decided to attack again. He had not, but felt not particularly hit by that. When his absent mother moved on, first with a question that she seemingly did not intend for him to answer as she moved on and revealed a reason of why Inferni attacked, she was not offered a reaction from the young male. Was that alone a reason to go to war? A member of Inferni had once been close to kill one of Dahlia’s leaders, yet the fragile peace between the two groups had continued. This did not mean that he did not mentally frown upon what his father had done, but the female had already gone too far and had for quite a while now openly shown that what she cared most about was to talk foul words about her ex-mate, and he did absolutely not want to be caught in the middle of their parents hate along with everything else. Conor despised Haku and only did what he did because he loved Dahlia de Mai. The young male sincerely hoped that Firefly would one day get over her ex-mate and get on with her life unburdened by all the grudges that had been dealt to her. Yet it was not his responsibility to see her through this and he refused to continue on.
”Night Thames will not return to Cour de Miracles, please inform your leaders of her whereabouts and that she is well and under good care.” It was only for the child’s sake that he had come here today, and perhaps things could have turned out differently if it had not been his mother to answer his call, but things were clearer now and he was glad that the child seemed to live a better life in Dahlia. Her last question had seemingly gone by ignored until now, but he did not want to be openly rude and ignore one of the questions she actually desired an answer from. ”I know nothing about the traps, though advise you to watch your steps should you venture close to Dahlian borders.” He offered her a polite smile and knew that this as always would be the last time he saw his mother for a long time. It was alright by him, and he knew she would soon find comfort and love in her new, perfect children. He tried to push his egoistic emotions away and sincerely tried to be happy for her. ”Thank you for your time, I better go back to Dahlia de Mai now.” he bowed his muzzle respectfully and slowly turned to walk away.
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She knew too many times she let her temper get the best of her and once more she felt the stab of her own words as she spoke them to her son. She wished as soon as they’d left her maw that she could take them back but there was no way she could erase what had been done. She let her shoulders sag slightly as she turned her eyes away from him. Perhaps if she hadn’t let her own mate’s slights get in the way of things she would have been able to know her children but they were lost to her now and she could do nothing about it. She kept her eyes downcast as Conor spoke, his words piercing as she just took it all in. She felt as though once more she was the Solum of the pack and she could only take the words he gave her with nothing to offer back.
She nodded quietly as he spoke, the truth of his words like a dagger to her heart as she felt one lone tear roll down her cheek and settling in her mane. She had no words to offer and he had none to share except official business. It had taken her so long to understand but now she truly knew that she’d lost more thank just rank when she’d left Dahlia de Mai. She may have always been the bottom of the totem pole when she lived with the pack, but she would have still been near her children. Her own selfish needs and wants had taken her far away and they were merely faces she knew but would never know.
She was for once quiet as he spoke on, there were no words she could offer him, just a nod to let him know that she understood. She could have told him how she would never have been stupid enough to be caught so close to Dahlia de Mai but she did not, instead she took what he dished out, knowing full well that she deserved the coldhearted shoulder that he graced her with. Perhaps this was indeed her time to start over and find happiness, however rocky any relationship with Jacquez could and would be. They were little more than parent figures, though she wouldn’t even tell that to Conor. She would love the children and she would press them into knowing their father, even if he didn’t want to know them. She almost didn’t catch when Conor was ready to leave, but at the last minute his words did register.
Firefly lifted her head and nodded once more, the tearstain down the side of her face apparent as she bowed her head slightly to her son. ”Be well Conor..” She hesitated before adding. ”..and cherish what you have..” She hoped one day that he would understand that she was sorry for how things had turned out but she couldn’t make him understand and she was tired of it all. She watched him with hollow sad eyes, wishing that he was going anywhere but t Dahlia de Mai.
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