Here we goooo! 300+

Mati had come to get her to finally do the painting of her and Enzo and honestly the Marino girl couldn't have been more excited. The offer had not been far from her mind since it had been made those weeks ago and she had eagerly waited for the day when it would happen. She wasn't sure why she was so excited about it, the exact reason kept evading her grasp like trying to remember a dream upon waking. Right now the reason didn't matter, because the day had finally come and she couldn't wait to see how the picture Mati would paint of her and Enzo would look. When Mati had come she had enthusiastically collected the mourning dove and gone down to her friend's room. When she arrived there she was assaulted with a plethora of colors that only made her spirits fly higher. It was all so beautiful! Looking down she noticed the small pawprints that had been left there by her sister, Amata. The girl had knelt down for a quick moment to touch the colored prints, finding it amazing how small they were.

Following Mati's instruction she sat down in a chair with Enzo perched on her shoulder. With her nerves abuzz it was a little hard to sit still, but she did her best. She didn't want to mess up the painting because she was being fidgety. Keeping the dove still though was a near impossible task. He felt her excitement and at first shifted around on her shoulder, every so often opening and closing his wings. As Cambria managed to calm herself though Enzo took the cue and stopped moving about too. Well, nearly, for his head was almost constantly bobbing and turning to take in this new, strange room he had never been in. That motion couldn't really be helped though and she hoped that it wouldn't interfere too terribly much.

A soft smile on her face and her hands folded neatly in her lap she let her own gaze roam about the room. It was so much more decorated than her own. Cambria really didn't know the first thing about decorating or anything like that, but she decided that she loved all the colors that permeated the Church female's dwelling. It made it seem so inviting and vibrant compared to the dull shades that adorned her own room. Perhaps she could convince Mati to paint some things for her to help spice the place up. Even just painting the walls would help and be less work. The girl made a note to ask Mati later, but right now she kept her thoughts to herself, not wanting to disrupt the other's creative process.

yayyyyy!!!!!

Purple eyes peered out from beyond the easel, her nose and mouth covered by the canvas that she painted upon. The stage the creation was in was an early one. She had sealed the fabric days ago, and then added her neutral undercoat, and now she was working over the sketch that came after that. The objects fit nicely in her hands, the pallet a familiar weight, the brush like the hand of an old friend, its curve and texture a fitted extension of her own. Eyes watched for a moment, then looked back at the makeshift creature on the stretched material. Her thoughts lingered back to the feeling that had come to her when she had first decided her paw was healed enough to go without the bandage and then that she wanted to go and ask Cambria if she had anything better to do then sit for a few hours. There had been a rumbling in her stomach, light and as it was trying to tickle her heart and lungs and all the rest that resided within her. Once she had settled her odd nerves Mati had simply walked up the stairs and knocked on her door, asking with a cool and even tone and laughing silently as her momentary indecision and odd feelings.

Now after she had asked Cambi and Enzo to be seated in the chair beyond her easel the Church woman had settled into a moment that was so very easy for her. In most situations. The brushed clanked as she decided on the best one, when she would have no trouble picking the medium sized brush she almost always began with. The paint tubes would not open for her on the first twist, and she had to turn them harshly to open them. But, now she was settled. The silence filling the room, the lines became shapes, and the lifelessness of the thing became the figure of a breathing beast. She smiled as she looked at it. The little bird was easy to capture, though he did not sit as still as Cambria did. Mati concentrated on him, knowing that he might fine the exercise no longer to his advantage and wish to flutter away. Once he was sketched in Mati moved forward to the lines that she begun to make the ocean eyed woman.

The proportions were oddly perfect, but Mati still measured the distance between the tip of her nose to the crease of her soft smile. The space from her collar bone, and the curve of her jaw was about two times that, and then it led to the corner of her ear. They were soft subtle shapes, easy to fit on the canvas, and worked so perfectly with one another. She would remain eyeless, as impersonal as it might seem. Mati knew where they were to be placed, guidelines in their spots, but they would be truly formed last. The brush ran across the rough fabric noisily, and Mati began to go over them again and again. Eyes looked up, and knew what would come next, and for some reason she was hesitant. Her hand reached for the tube of Cambium Yellow, as she had used all that was on her pallet, eyes unmoving.

The color, the pure deep reds that were hidden where most did not see, the blues that would serve as the shadows of each strand of her fur. The yellows, the brightness and the highlights. She would have the purple, below her chin, against her neck, right in the crevice that her collarbone created. Where there was brown, where anyone else would see the color of dark rich soil Mati saw all that came together to make it. She looked up from the curve of her shoulder, and to the eyes who’s color Mati would be blessed to recreate.

^^ 300+

When she wasn't letting her eyes become engrossed in one of the many paintings that adorned the room she snuck glances at the artist who was painting her. Each time she did there seemed to be a strange fluttering feel within her that she couldn't explain. So many things were still unknown to the young Marino but she couldn't help but question what that feeling was. It was unlike anything she had felt before. It seemed somehow connected to the anticipation that had built up to this very moment. It was puzzling, but still the answers evaded her. It was a little frustrating, but Cambria was far too happy to let it bring her mood down even a notch. Enzo fiddled with a strand of her dark chocolate hair, his beak gently teasing it. A light giggle bubbled up from her chest and her eyes closed momentarily, truly content at the moment.

When she could get past the feelings that seemed to tickle her whenever she looked at Mati she was amazed at how intent the older fey was. The way her hand moved the brush across the canvas seemed magical and she could see the same focus in the violet gaze that she felt when she was studying her medicine. From everything that was displayed in the room it was clear that Mati had a god given talent with art that Cambi could do nothing but marvel at. It was amazing how she could make images come to life with her paints. She hadn't seen much art and so could hardly compare the work she saw now to much else, but she was thoroughly impressed with the Church female's prowess. Surely such a thing could not be taught.

Most of the times she had looked over at Mati she had been focused completely on her work but this time their eyes locked and Cambria felt a bit of a thrill inside. Her eyes were so pretty. Similar to her cousin Conor's shade, and yet so very different. They were brighter, much like her paintings. Her teeth bit lightly at the inside of her lip as she dropped her gaze back down to her lap for a moment. Enzo shifted his weight from one foot to another and she looked back over to him, her smile returning in full force.

Eyes pulled away, blinking softly and looking down at the palette. The colored mixed at the persuasion of the flat edged knife, and she entered the stages of a base layer. It was lighter then her normal color, and held more yellow then Cambria obviously was. Mati was glad that no one watched her work, for the process was something that might look odd to another. It always made sense in her mind, and she filled the shapes that she had used to create Cambria’s figure. Suddenly Mati turned to the bird, eyes looking up to catch him playing with his caregiver’s mane. The female gave a delight-filled laugh at Enzo’s teasing, and Mati watched the two interact. It was a wordless relationship, two that were so different and yet work so well together. It wasn’t hard to see the love that radiated from the younger female, to see the care that she gave to the small bird. If she were honest Mati would confess that she and Ambrose were more like roommates then as good friends as the two that filled her view. But, it did not mean that Mati didn’t love the little hedgepig, it was simply easy to see that their relationship fell short.

As she continued Mati found that when she looked up from the painting she was no longer looking for all those different colors, though she saw them easily. They came to her brush and the paint layered on the pulled fabric as if her mind had already painted this portrait. She watched her breathe, the gentle rise and fall of her chest, the movements that came from the curve of her neck when she turned to face the small bird that sat on her shoulder. She needed more red there, a deeper tone and more effort to make the fur look as soft as Mati was sure it truly was. Eyes came up again, her throat, the nook where her pulse would be found, beating beneath thin skin and the fur there even softer then below it. The shadow was not right. Mati looked down to correct the width of it. Violet orbs hardly fell down long enough to watch the brush complete it’s task. She was at the curve of her jaw now. It hardly existed, so smooth, so subtle that Mati did not think it would hold two fingers if she placed them there. She could see the yellow that needed to be added, a hint of white to soften the transition to her cheek.

But eyes did not look away to the painting, her brush stationary. Mati felt a breath come to her chest; the body working though her mind was somewhere else. Her muzzle, it was perfect here and in it’s mimic. Nothing needed to be changed there. Immobile on the stool Mati sat, brush-hand raise slightly in the air, palette in her lap and looked at the woman’s eyes. The stands of dark fur almost touched them. As if each had been placed the accented the sea born gaze, not a single one stood in the Church woman’s way, the path as clear as the glistening color itself. She should be worried that she would not be able to recreate it, the hue so bold, so beyond that of what the Earth could give that she would have to pray for help from beyond to gain the power to do so. Another breath came, her lungs still working as she drifted to a world that she had never felt propelled to go, a world that confused her. Her exhale was soft, slow and passed beyond her lips so easily as the thought passed through her mind, God, your.."

"Beautiful"

500+

Love flowed easily from the cream accented wolfess. It wasn't hard for her to find love for the tiniest bug, even if she were only to see it once. She had loved Leafy and caring for him was one of the main things that had pulled her out of the deep depression the accident had thrown her into. Letting go of him had been hard and there had certainly been a part of her that hadn't wanted to. It wouldn't have been right to keep him though. He deserved to be free, just like any other butterfly. If the time came for Enzo to leave though she knew it would be even harder to let the dove go. Her bond with him was stronger than her bond with the caterpillar. Interactions between herself and the larvae had been mostly assumed or imagined, but while she and the mourning dove did not speak the same language they did interact. They communicated without words and giving him up would be similar to a parent letting go of a child. Of course if he wanted to she would let him, it wasn't her place to hold him captive. Still, she hoped that he enjoyed her company as much as she enjoyed his and would decide to stay with her. Cambria wanted to continue to watch over him.

Mati's eyes flitted between her and the canvas that she worked so diligently on. The Marino couldn't wait to see the finished portrait; she had no doubt that it would be simply amazing. Its beauty would be more thanks to Mati's skills as a painter than any actual physical attractiveness of her own, but maybe it would give the girl confidence to look upon. To see how someone else viewed her and captured her likeness on fabric. In whatever event though, she knew that the painting would be just as gorgeous as any of the others that were sitting around or hanging on the walls that surrounded them. Cambria wished that she had come to see the other's paintings sooner than now for there was a quickly budding appreciation for art growing in her heart. It surprised her how the images could evoke such a strong sense of wonder and even bring emotions bubbling to the surface. The world seemed somehow clearer in Mati's brush strokes, as if they held the answers to life's secrets that were always just out of reach. The solutions to grand mysteries.

From her periphery Cambi noticed Mati pause in her painting, her brush hanging suspended in the air. At first she assumed that she was simply working some detail out in her mind. Finding the perfect shade or the best way to show the light. The intense violet orbs stayed on her though and she felt heat seep into her cheeks. Then a single, solitary word was breathed from the other female's mouth. The slight girl looked back to Mati full on, a surprised look changing her features. "What?" she asked, as if she had misheard. Surely she was just referring to one of the colors or the painting in progress. She couldn't have possibly meant her, could she? Heart beat heavily in her ears as she waited to see what Mati would do or say next. The breaking of the silence had been so unexpected and with the word that had passed into the open air it seemed that if all time around them had paused.

Her breath was light, though she was beginning to feel it quicken with each inhale. Her heartbeat was growing rapid, and she felt the fluttering in her stomach become a twisted knot. Had she said that aloud? Her eyes broke their stare, The eyes that she had been looking so intensely at now peering back into her own. Cambria’s voice called, and the taller wolfess looked down at the brush, a rag now in her hand and she began to wide it clean. Her face was blazing, a heat that no fire could mimic. The insides of her ears were bright crimson, her face wearing a soft smile that attempted to hide the pure humiliation. She shouldn’t have said that, she shouldn’t have allowed herself to even think it. No, she thought again and again. It wasn’t how she felt. It was pushed upon her by her desire to paint the most perfect picture, driven by her need please the one that she was painting for. She was beautiful, that was not a lie. It was not dishonest to believe, but why did Mati find it such a profound discovery?

“Sorry...” She answered, getting up off the stool so quickly that it threatened to fall. A hand caught it, and she moved to the jar of water and began to clean the brush. She had tried to keep her voice was cracking or from sounding too awkward but did not know if that was even possible. At this point Mati felt very out of control. But, It was nothing really, nothing that Cambria needed to worry about. Mati began to wonder if she had indeed heard her at all. What she had apologized for was still a mystery but she felt better now that it had been said. Purple eyes looked back to the other girl, “Lets take a break.” She suggested. Mati was sure that she could use a few moments to move around after sitting for so long and the Church fey’s eyes could use a rest. She wrapped the brush in the rag, the old cut on her hand stung for some reason and Mati began to rub it mindlessly.

300+

Cambria's face wasn't burning nearly so hot as Mati's, but she felt a flush creep up to her cheeks. Even though she knew it couldn't be possible, a part of her hoped that the word had in fact been about her. Why? Why did she want that? The girl had gone about how how attraction was meant to work all backwards, unintentionally jumping into the final act head first without ever experiencing the things that were supposed to lead to that. The feelings buzzing through her were foreign and while she still wasn't entirely sure what they meant, she was beginning to see and feel the subtle hints with more understanding. The bright violets turned away from her, looking down to her brush. The younger girl also looked at the instrument, seeing the rag wipe the paint away from its fibers. She swallowed uneasily, finger fiddling nervously in her lap now. Enzo sensed the change in her and looked at her curiously, nudging her dark curtain of hair, but this time she ignored his prodding. She couldn't do anything until Mati did or said something; frozen by the realization that was slowly beginning to dawn on her.

The Church fey's sudden standing and nearly knocking over of her stool made Cambria jump and the dove beat his wings in the air in protest. There was a bit of shaking in her hands and she shoved them harder into her lap to quiet them. She didn't know really what Mati was apologizing for, but she didn't know how to respond to it. She just sat silently and watched as the other cleaned her paint brush in the water. Sea foam eyes focused on the working hands, her teeth once again finding her lip to bite. At the suggestion of a break she finally looked back up to Mati's face. "Okay, sure." Even though she agreed, she didn't make any move to stand. She didn't trust her legs to hold her up or for her body to stay still and composed. "What...what did you say sorry for?" Maybe that wasn't the best question to ask, but it kept nagging at her mind.

Eyes glanced down at the painting, she could not say it wasn’t coming along and looking at it and then to the girl that she was rendering Mati found that it wasn’t far off at all. The proportions were correct from even the changed pose she glanced to find Cambria in, having agreed to take a few minutes to rest her body. But as she looked over her once more, as well as the bird on her shoulder Mati saw that there was the sort of unease that she herself felt. Mati exhaled heavily, unhappy that she put her friend in this sort of situation. She couldn’t even determine why she had said that, and more deeply why she felt it was so very true. She moved from the easel and towards the table that she had most of her loose sketches and supplies on. Cambi spoke, and the question was not one that Mati could answer immediately.

The tall Earthen toned woman thought about it a moment, undecided whether or not she could even form the words to explain. Her face burned again, and her voice was on the verge of rattling. “I don’t know.” She spoke with honestly. Voice slowly tried to turn into something that might make it all seem like something to just shrug off. But Mati was far from successful and her tone was soft and fragile, “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” the last syllables came with a defeated exhale. It was only right to be honest with her, for Mati could not bring herself to lie to her friend, and that was the only way to explain how she felt. She had been wrong, too intense and pushed by her need to make the painting perfect and to capture every ounce of loving character and each beautiful aspect. Mati was suddenly reminded of Rikka, how warm the air had become and how tangible her feelings had felt as if the coyote woman could simple reach out and manipulate them.

300+

She wished that she were better at hiding her emotions, for as she heard Mati issue a heavy sigh guilt clawed up into her chest to mix with all the other feelings that were swirling there. She didn't want Mati to feel bad at all and really Cambria wasn't feeling bad or upset. She wasn't sure what she felt exactly, but she was fairly confident that it wasn't in any way a bad feeling. It was just new and she did not know how to handle it, hence her awkward posture and actions. Her eyes shyly followed as the taller wolfess moved from her easel to a nearby table, taking in her every movement. The heat in her cheeks seemed to flare higher with each second that she watched the other fey, the fluttering in her stomach growing to a near fever pitch. Cambi licked her lips nervously as it took all her willpower to keep herself even as shakily together as she was in that moment. Was Mati feeling the same thing? There were so many feelings flying around in her own mind and heart that it was hard to pick up on anything that might be coming from her elder friend.

Cream-tipped ears flickered as Mati's voice once again broke the silent air. There was hesitance in it, which seemed odd. She had always remembered her being so confident that it was strange to see her shaken as she was now. Cambria was beginning to see that she wasn't the only one being effected by this all. Carefully and slowly she stood up from the chair and placed Enzo on the back of it, not wanting the dove to interfere or interrupt the conversation. From there she moved to the table that Mati stood at, though still giving the other a good amount of room. "I'm not uncomfortable. Not really." She was definitely something, but she didn't think it could be classified as uncomfortable. There was a shyness she felt, but it was different than her usual timidness around strangers. Mati was far from a stranger. Mustering a smile she looked over to Mati, hoping to reinforce her words with the expression.

Even though Cambi had agreed to sitting for a portrait, Mati thought that she might be feeling some of the pressures or some of the insecurities that might come to one that had been stared at for so long. There was no reason for her to fear that she would not look well on canvas, there was no reason for her to worry that even a stand of hair might be out of place. There was a certain aura of perfection that lingered around the brown toned young woman, a muse that played with the artistic side of Mati and beckoned for her to create the picture that would hold all the simple beauty clung to her subtle curves and the mysterious complexity that was held in her deep green blue eyes. She was gorgeous, and Mati was embarrassed to let the thought pass through her mind. It brought warmth to her face, but she couldn’t see why it would. Was it not all an innocent friendship? The other fey responded, and the Church woman looked back at her face in a small sort of surprise. She wasn’t?

Her heart beat loudly in her chest, a hammer against stretched cloth. “Okay.” Mati said, watching the smile that shown softly on her face. What else could be said? And a single question came to her quickly and filled her mind and would not be quieted. Her normal layer of confidence was thinning; as it had been the moment she had decided that this would be the day for the painting. Eyes were lowered to the desk, her heart still beating heavily. She wouldn’t call her a liar and try to believe that what Cambria said was not the truth, but the last two words stuck with the older wolfess. It seemed that they were reading into every single word that they spoke, and Mati took in all her movements, each change of tone, each glance that she gave and took to give the floor, her hands, Enzo or a piece of art that hung in her room. “What are you feeling?” The question came, just as uncontrolled as the thoughts that had started this extended moment of confusion. She could ask, they were friends, it was harmless. Wasn’t it?

Oh snap :o 300+

Surprisingly, it hadn't bothered her in the least to have Mati stare at her to create a painting. From the moment she had been asked she had wanted to do it and hadn't given it a second thought. If she really considered it though if it had been someone else wanting to do it she might not have been so eager. The girl was incredibly self conscious, as was well known, and for her to feel comfortable letting the other fey in a sense examine her so closely spoke volumes of her level of comfort. Not only of that, but of the feelings that were budding and beginning to make themselves known to the young wolf. After her experience with Lolita in the city and her talk with Anu she had been fairly confident in the fact that she was attracted to other women and not men. Still, she had figured that it would be a long time before she could find anyone to possibly like or be with. After all, she knew almost everyone in Crimson Dreams and no one had peaked her interest before. That all appeared to be changing now, however.

Cambria hoped that letting Mati know that she wasn't upset or uncomfortable would help steer the conversation back into calmer waters for the both of them. It wasn't that she minded things as they were so much, but her emotions were flying wild ahead of her and the girl was running to catch up with them. There was another pause as the older female seemed to consider things and she waited quietly. She understood how important those silent contemplations could be and didn't want to shake Mati out of her train of thought. When the question was posed, however, she couldn't help but feel a bit exposed. Her ears folded back slightly and her gaze moved to the table as it was now her turn to try and figure out what to say. What was it that she was feeling? Cambi had an idea, but admitting it so suddenly wasn't expected. She was still trying to figure out if that's what it indeed was herself, but something in her gut told her it was true. Part of her wanted to hide that truth, sweep it under the rug and not take the risk. Before she could stop herself though the halting words came from her lips. "Well...I think...I think that I might..." a longer pause, her heart racing, "like you."

It was out now, there was no taking it back. Amazed at her own forwardness Cambria's gaze stayed on the table, too afraid of what kind of reaction she might see on Mati's face. She had no idea if she felt the same. She didn't even know if Mati liked other girls. It had felt good, admitting that, and yet a startling sense of panic was also closing in around her, ready to take hold if things went bad.

She should have simply let it go, Mati could see her mistake now. It was written on Cambria’s face. How she couldn’t have just let it a turn to something a bit more pleasant and much less perplexing was just another question that Mati found no answer to. But it wasn’t unpleasant. Mati knew the meaning of pain, knew true fear and understood actual discomfort. This was different. It had the same tinges of insecurities that she felt while around Ares, but Cambria was not the male that sent those uncontrollable thoughts, who had confessed his deep heartfelt feelings and then up and left just as their romance was budding. It was like the words had a life of their own, her confidence crumbling and feeling much smaller then she actually was. How she was feeling was no business of Mati’s, they were not sisters they were not related in any kind, just friends and Mati felt as if she had stepped over the line.

An apology was about to escape, to cover up the question just as she had used it to cover up her other hushed and unleashed words Cambria spoke. Mati stole a glance at her face, noticing her eyes were locked to the table they stood beside. If she wasn’t uncomfortable before, then Mati was positive that she was now. Her nature pushed her to try to bring comfort to her friend, the words she spoke brought forth in hesitation and broken. The Church fey was almost too wrapped up in watching Cambi once more that she almost missed the words that were spoken. But how could she? The blood rushed to her face yet again, and Mati felt her cheeks burn. It was a confession, and yet Mati could not completely understand its meaning. She had almost expected Cambi to like her, in a simple way that she might also like sunshine and butterflies. They were friends, if they didn’t like it each other then they couldn’t have that relationship. There was almost a break of relief, a pause that made the hush of her face go away and the tension in her shoulders melt.

Her fingers played with a piece of paper, the feelings that had risen in her while sitting beside Rikka were unable to be held back. Her breath was hastened, her heart threatening to break from its cage inside her chest. Why? Why was this her reaction to a word as simple and innocent as like? She would not allow herself to wish it was not just a might and that it was more, would not believe that what she was beginning to felt was bordering on panic, was edging towards how she felt towards Ares. And then she would not allow herself to move away, or run as she had in the past. “Oh.” She answered only a moment after hearing what she had said (though it might have felt like hours), the pure chaos that raged inside her mind staying as hidden as she could keep it. And then her true reaction… she smiled. How she smiled, and how the jumbled emotions could allow it was a mystery, as mystifying as Cambria was becoming for the older female. But she did, and with it the light came back to her eyes. Violet orbs looked at the other’s face, her heat racing at a speed that it had never reached, in a moment of panic or joy. She smiled so wide that lips parted and a thin seam of white showed.

500+

She hadn't for a moment considered not answering the question, or thought that it had been rude or intrusive of Mati to ask it. It was only natural to ask it and she was glad that she had. The girl had been grasping at smoke all day, trying to decipher what was blossoming in her chest but hadn't been able to actually pause and think about it. The Church fey had given her that opportunity and while it was a little uncomfortable, it was necessary. If she had learned one thing in her life, it was that many times it was better to say things out loud than to keep them bottled up inside. The principle didn't particularly apply to her accident when she was younger, but to other things it did. Like when she had confessed to Anu that she thought she liked other females. A whirlwind of confusion had been raging inside her and it was only after she said it aloud and spoke about it with the more experienced wolfess that things began to settle and become clear to her. It had helped on that occasion and she thought it might help in this one as well.

Cambria hoped it would help, but she knew it had the possibility of hurting things as well. If Mati didn't feel the same then it could complete alienate the two Dreamers. She would feel completely embarrassed and probably wouldn't ever be able to face the elder femme again. Also, as of yet, no one else knew of her preferences. She didn't think that Mati would be the type to gossip or spread this around, but it was a possibility that made the Marino nervous. The worst would be if her parents caught wind of it from someone else and not her. She did intend to tell them and she would feel awful if they found out about it before she got the chance to tell them. Having the rest of the pack suddenly know too wasn't exactly what she wanted either. She had planned to keep it mostly under wraps for a long while. With this bold step though that had the chance of disintegrating. Cambi's eyes stared intensely down at the table, her stomach twisting uneasily into knots as she waited to hear how Mati would react to her admission. Each millisecond that ticked by with continued silence seemed an agonizing eternity. Had she made a horrible mistake?

Then a single utterance split the air, but Cambria couldn't read it. Was that a bad "Oh" or a good "Oh"? For a few more minutes her gaze remained trained on the table, too terrified at what she might see when she shifted her sights to the fey next to her. Would it be disgust? Confusion? A longing to run from the room and to never set eyes on her again? Honestly she wanted to run and avoid having to face the probable negative reaction that awaited her. As she felt those violets turn to her face again though hesitantly her eyes move to look at Mati and she was surprised by the sight that was before her. She was...smiling. A broader smile than she had ever seen on the elder wolf before. Her heart tripped in its rhythm before its pace increased dramatically. Their eyes were locked and nothing could make her look away now. She wanted to reach out, to touch her, but she couldn't find the will to do it. What if she was misunderstanding? It didn't seem possible to misunderstand such a smile, but the situation seemed so fragile, as if the slightest wrong move would shatter it.

Considering her upbringing, it shouldn’t have been as far fetched to the woman as it felt. It shouldn’t have been as confusing and heart pounding as it felt. No, she couldn’t believe that Cambria felt some sort of attraction towards her, Mati just wasn’t like that. Never had she thought about it, thought that she would be like her mothers, but she need not think like that. She wasn’t, she couldn’t. Her mothers had fallen apart; one had resorted to drugs, the other heartbroken. Even if her birth mother’s issue had not directly stemmed from the break-up Mati did not know that. In her mind she was to blame, Anu was to blame, the heartache was to blame. She had never liked another female, but that was a lie as well. Her eyes fell, the silence filling the warm space between the two wolfesses. She looked at the pictures on the table, the dark deep red catching her eyes. Her smile faded, the beat of her heart fading from her ears as she saw the figure that had been locked in her mind for weeks. How had this happened, where had it come from and why did it feel so confusing?

Still the other girl didn’t say anything, still Mati was lost in the emotions and falling deeper into the unknowing. Maybe she had just been joking, but that was a foolish and false hope. If she allowed her heart to be true, if she would simple submit to the feeling then Mati would see that she was attracted to everything that Cambria was. But Mati skirted around them, their warmth and intensity frightening. She took a deep breath, her face still soft in expression but the smile gone. She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do next. She could merely breathe, finding it a miracle that the pressure on her chest allowed each breath. Where there had been a momentary unbridled and unexplained excitement and happiness Mati had fallen into the unknown.

Another deep inhale, “I…” The single word came, but the rest were to tangled to make any sense.

The silence stretched on, though it wasn't as uncomfortable as it had been moments before. Unfortunately the longer it went the more it began to slip back into that shadowy territory. First Mati's eyes fell, and then her smile slowly melted from her features. Cambria felt her chest tighten uncomfortably as the feeling of panic started to close in around her again. Beyond hope, at first it had seemed like Mati might be feeling the same things. She had looked happy after Cambria's admission. That light had flickered though, like a candle being blown out. Once again ears folded back against her head and she tentatively took a step backwards; the flight instinct crawling up her spine. She didn't allow herself to run yet though. Even if it had appeared and vanished with the blink of an eye, there had been hope there, hadn't there? If there were even an inch of a chance she needed to stay, no matter how scared she was.

That hope grew momentarily stronger as Mati tried to speak, but her voice tapered off after that single word, that single letter. Cambria waited, waited to see if more would come but none did. Struggling to find her own voice again she looked imploringly at the older woman. "...Y-Yes?" she coaxed, hoping that the Church fey would find the words in her that she so desperately wanted to hear. That hope couldn't be hidden in her oceanic eyes, and neither could the fear of being turned away.

Maybe it was best if Cambria just left. The air in her room was becoming thick, almost unable to pass through her lungs. If the other female went then maybe it would all just go away, the feelings would leave with her and Mati wouldn’t need to think of it again. It was all too much, the beat of her heart, the pouring emotion that ran thick between them. Is this how she felt? Mati wondered, thoughts of running from the situation still lingering in the back of her mind. Was this the feeling that she should have had with Ares, would that have kept him around? But nothing this intensely had ever ran through her veins. They had just been painting, a few weeks ago sitting and talking about Enzo and Ambrose. And Mati found it hard to let her eyes take in the face of the other female.

It was time to give up, time to run and not look back. The door was not far away, relief from the confusion just paw steps away. Mati felt the sudden urge to cry, but held back all tears. It was too much, flooding her system and overloading it. She breathed, concentrating on each intake and exhale, and as she focused she felt her chest relax. There was no true panic, not in her body. Her mind froze, her thought stopped and Mati honed in on her heart. It beat, quickly but the pounding was gone. Her stomach fluttered, but the knot had disappeared. Her hands did not shake, her mouth not dry. Cambi’s voice broke the silence, and Mati looked to find that there was fear there. It was laced in her sweet scent, it was like fresh air-dried linens, how oddly random and so seemingly comforting.

She needed to go, the racing thoughts needed to leave with her. Violet eyes watched her face, and her mind pushed the words through to her mouth. Please go. But at the same moment a leap of faith, a confession, the truth that had not been seeable until Cambria had unearthed it, sounded. “I think you’re beautiful.”, her heart spoke.

300+

The tension in the room was palpable and Cambria didn't know how much more she could take. For a second admitting her feelings had seemed like it had been a good thing and now it seemed all wrong. Well, not wrong, but she didn't think she could handle stripping her heart so naked to only find that it wasn't wanted. Her emotional state had always been fragile and that fragility had only increased since her accidental inhaling of the drugs. It didn't help that she was still coming to grips with her life altering realization and the knowledge that her uncle had had pups with the woman who had hurt her. She shouldn't have done this. She shouldn't have said it. The risk of Mati not feeling the same was too great and she was too liable to break and crumble into tiny pieces. She wanted to take it back, to say that she didn't know why she had said that and it wasn't true. Such a feeble lie couldn't cover up such a resounding truth though. Even if she managed the words her nonverbal language wouldn't be able to follow course. What had she done?

Finally Mati looked back up to her and the pressure in her chest grew. It was amazing that she didn't bolt at that exact moment, but she needed to hear whatever the older fey had to say, be it good or ill. Cambi prayed that it was good, for if it weren't she was certain it might break her. Breath was baited, waiting for her sentence to be handed down. The words that came weren't exactly what she had hoped to hear, but they were far from being bad either. An unsure yet hopeful smile slowly molded her lips, some of the fear evaporating. "R-Really?" Mati really thought she was beautiful? The girl's spirit wanted to soar on the breeze that that compliment gave her, and yet there was still so much that wasn't certain and she couldn't let her hopes carry her away.

There was a weight lifted from her shoulder, though her thoughts still ran quickly through her mind. What did this all mean? The possibilities were endless, the reality of it still so blurred it was as it a smoke screen had suddenly covered her entire existence. These few moments felt like a lifetime passing. The world beyond them was rolling by, and here they stood, caught in a moment, lost to true time. Their confessions had been so unexpected, and yet nothing about them forced. Rather it felt as if Mati was holding it all back, a tidal wave set and ready to crash right out into the open. Never had she felt like she hid so many secrets, ones that she could not even name. And yet the world was suddenly a mystery, the simple complex, all she had know to be right and true twisted into a direction she had not thought was her path. But now there didn’t seem to be anything else she could desire. It was confusing, but wasn’t that what life, and matters of the heart were? If they were clear-cut and if they occurred just as they expected then what would be worthwhile about them? Her mind could not completely understand all of it, but she felt the idea, and it continued to follow it even if she had once refused to acknowledge all of it.

Mati watched the fragile female, saw something in her that made the urge to comfort her rise in her chest. Maybe it was the past that Mati remembered that compelled her to do so, when she had cared for her as a pup. But there was not thing of this moment that reminded her of that one. The past was just as blurred as everything else that sat beyond the realm of this moment, the second that ticked by were all that Mati could sense and all she could attempt to decipher. Mati nodded, her eyes not fleeting for a moment and stayed planted on the other girl’s face. She was quiet, and her passive nature only made Mati want to move closer more. Still there was a barrier between them, between Mati and this newfound reality. “I wouldn’t lie to you.” She said with a lighter tone, the smiled once again gently curling her lips. She wished the ease that had been between them before would return, she wanted it back. Though the minutes that had just past was not something she wanted to forget, nor give back.

300+

The young Marino hadn't expected these feeling to come so quickly and with so little warning. She had perhaps felt hints of it the last time they talked, but today the dam had burst and it had filled her to the brim. The words she had spoken had been hesitant, but now she knew there were none truer. If they weren't true then she wouldn't be feeling so exposed now, so vulnerable. Few things could make someone feel so vulnerable as when they voiced such a truth. Even though she had never felt these things before she knew that this was what it was like to want to be with someone. Her heart raced, her face flushed, and it seemed her very being depended on the acceptance of the woman who had so quickly caught her eye. Anu's words that love could not be predicted and could happen at any time and with anyone rang through her head. At the time she had doubted that the wisdom would apply to her, but it was clear now that it did. Of course this wasn't love, only the seed of such a great thing that required nurturing and care to grow and bloom. Would such a thing happen between the two Dreamers? She couldn't say, but she certainly hoped it would.

This time Mati's eyes didn't leave her face and her hope swelled more. Once again she felt captivated by the woman before her, just as she had when the other had smiled at the admission of her attraction. Once again she wished to close the distance. To hold herself against the taller fey and touch her warm, earthen fur. That line couldn't be pushed though. They were on a seesaw and even the smallest misstep could switch the balance back to bad. Cambria couldn't risk that. The girl smiled more, the blush burning stronger beneath her fur as her eyes diverted bashfully for a moment before returning to the captivating violet orbs. "I know. I just...have never thought of myself as...beautiful," she said softly. Cambria could too often only see her flaws and never her virtues. Sadly she needed others to show her her worth. It was the way she had always been.

Mati’s confidence was growing, slowly and at the smallest measurements at a time. She could not determine was it was that brought her mind from the panic that it had been in just minutes ago. Maybe it was that they were alone, and the feelings that she felt were mimicked in the eyes of the other female. How she felt was seen right in Cambria’s gaze, it was all here and Mati drew from it. She did not know that the other female’s understanding of all this was much clearer then her own, she did not know that another female had stepped into her life and shown her the emotional security and physical pleasures that could be shared with another female. But Mati grew in knowing that she was not alone, that what overwhelmed her, overtook Cambi as well.

But as normally more confident as she was Mati needed the guidance now. The small steps to true understanding were unknown and she couldn’t help but hesitate. The lines between them were so indeterminable, where it was drawn between friendship and something else was the haziest of all. But Mati watched the smile on her face grow, an embarrassed tinge held in it curve and in her averted gaze. She was on the verge of apologizing once more, for steeping over the line again. She couldn’t determine where it was, couldn’t see it and found that everything could be so easily misunderstood.

Her words were soft, and Mati wondered if they bordered on shame or insecurity. How Cambria felt that, Mati would never understand. Mati's own features were not beautiful, believing just as Cambria did and never looking in the mirror with pure pleasure. But she was larger then most, her color that of dried dirt, her waves and locks unruly at times and often misplaced. Mati found that she had never found more pleasure looking at another creature; it was what had started all of this wasn’t it? Her eyes had found something, had found color that it could not simply dissect and appreciate, and was captivated by it. Even the hues Cambria held were a mystery to her, deeper, brighter, more unique that anything she had experienced.

No, she would not lie and at the same moment Mati could not describe it or try to explain it.
“Once…” Mati began, finding that her voice flowing more clearly then before but some hesitation still sticking to her words.
“Once it’s done, you’ll see what I see.” her voice was lighter, but far from the casual tone she hoped for, still trying to return to that weightlessness and ease. The painting wasn’t finished, it wasn’t perfect. But when it was Cambria would to be able to see everything that Mati did, that was if she was even able to capture it. She found that Cambria’s beauty was something that was held deeper then her skin. Though the physical was more stunning then anything that Mati had found before, it were the feelings that Cambria brought forth that told of her true overpowering allure that Mati was drawn to.