You begged for forgiveness, but I struck you down

Tayui Aston · 12-12-2010, 03:18 PM

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December 4.

The ceremony had been pleasant. That was all. She had felt no strong emotions toward her fellow tribe members and she did not feel as though she had resolved any of her concerns. She still felt like an outsider in her own pack and she hated it. Claudius had not fared much better; for the most part, he had stood off to the side clutching his sacrifice: a book. It had been one of the first books he'd read, but it was beginning to fall apart and so he had decided that he would sacrifice it while still keeping the memories and knowledge he had gained. Even if his decision had been incredibly thoughtful, he had not been eager to participate in the ceremony and had returned to the den immediately after.

Tayui, however, had lingered -- she was still looking for something to remedy her anger. After talking to Alaine a few months back, she had realized that she needed more contact and more interaction. She loved being social and talking, so why wasn't she doing that now? She decided to finally resolve this and find an old face from AniWaya. She had spotted a wolf that vaguely reminded her of Jaded Shadows and had spent most of the ceremony wondering if she should talk to him. Finally, she decided: she would seek him out.

She trotted over to where she had last seen him and began searching through the surrounding areas. His scent was still fresh and she knew he had to be around here somewhere. She hmm'd to herself, wondering where the fellow had gone. If she could not find him, she supposed she could introduce herself to a new member; but she wasn't feeling that adventurous today and hoped it would not come to it.

Theodoric Martin · 12-16-2010, 01:20 AM

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fweee (wc: 311)

In some ways, Theodoric had found the pack’s seasonal ceremony to be quite quaint. Religion, or even spirituality, had not been a part of his life growing up. On the other hand, he had appreciated the gathering of AniWaya’s wolves, the food, and the fellowship. He required his times of solitude but at the end of the day, Theodoric was still very much a social creature. Despite his initial reserve due to his unfamiliarity with the ceremony, he exercised an adage that was as a favorite of his: a lot of awkwardness could be allayed by friendliness and a genuine smile.

The official ceremony was winding down, somewhat earlier than Theodoric had been expecting. Then again, he was from a social climate fond of extending parties well past their due. Still, he found himself wishing for a keg of spirits to call back the stream of lupines now quietly exiting the warmth of the Great Fire. Perhaps, he mused to himself, I should have been a brewer, not a weaver. Ah well. He had gained so many things since joining AniWaya – if he missed a beer now and then, so be it.

Theodoric had about used up his excuses for lingering when he looked up and saw the same white-and-cream female that he had noticed earlier. The mottled gray male thought he had finally recognized her from his brief stay in Jaded Shadows, despite the passing years and change in location. It was a lupine thing, to not forget the face (or in this case, scent) of one’s alpha. He had been so different then, so awkward and immature, that he now debated approaching her. Still, the lush mountain land he remembered was now a charred husk, and he had to know. “It’s Tayui, isn’t it?” Theodoric’s strongly accented voice, usually slightly brash, was hesitant with insecurity and memory.

Tayui Aston · 12-25-2010, 11:39 PM

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Yippee!

Tayui was surprised to hear a voice call out to her following the ceremony. She had tried to make eye contacted with as many members as possible, but it felt awkward when she had been unable to smile. Somehow, it seemed as though that small gesture had worked. Even though it went against their purely canine nature — for eye contact was usually seen as a challenge — Tayui had found many luperci adopted human customs she had read about in her books.

She turned around once the other AniWayan finished speking. She trotted closer to the male, her ears perked and her ineterest engaged. She did not quite recognize him or his thick accent, but she supposed she had seen so many canines come and go that she was bound to forget them.

"It is," she replied levelly. "Tayui Aston. And you?" There was no malice or anger in her words — just simple curiosity. She wondered if someone had mentioned her to him. It wouldn't surprise her; a few of her friends knew of her and her skills so it might be possible he sought one of them. Whatever it was, she tried to keep a neutral expression and hide the turblunent emotions that were stirring inside.

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Theodoric Martin · 01-09-2011, 05:44 PM

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Inwardly, Theodoric heaved a sigh of relief. At least his memory hadn’t been completely faulty. Outwardly, he approached with a smile and a slight bob of the head. “My name’s Theodoric,” he began, his voice thickly accented by Scottish dulcet tones, “I dunno if you remember me, but I lived in Jaded Shadows for a short while, back probably… oh, three years ago now.” He stopped abruptly, not sure how to go on. What could he say? I lived in the same space as you, but you were my alpha and I barely knew you? He had changed so much since then, he was almost grateful for the unfamiliarity. In the same breath, those few months had meant so much to him. He wanted to tell her that, to look back and reminisce on those old times. Even if they hadn’t known each other well, they would have known many of the same canines that once called the mountainside home.

Instead of blundering on to say things he could poorly express, Theodoric fell silent to wait a reply. Standing there he felt like a boy again, awkward and gangly in the presence of a girl he fancied. If he felt unaccountably shy, he was mature enough to hide it fairly well. Still, it was hard not to wear his heart on his sleeve. He hoped so many things, in that moment. He hoped that she looked back kindly on those years spent on the mountain and that she would not think less of him for staying there so briefly. He hoped that she might explain the empty, charred forest that now covered the old territories. If there had been an exodus, he hoped it had not cost any of them too dearly – and new, immediately in his heart of hearts, that certainly hadn’t been the case.

Tayui Aston · 01-09-2011, 09:44 PM

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She kept her neutral expression when Theodoric introduced himself and nodded once in response. She tried to place the name, accent, and face to a time when she had lived in Jaded Shadows, but could not manage it. She just kept quiet and waited to see if he had anything else to add.

When he mentioned that he was from Jaded Shadows, she tried to figure out if she could remember him. Nothing! She was surprised, since she was usually pretty decent at remembering faces. She supposed he must have only been a member for a short time, otherwise she would have met him. She felt bad for thinking it, but he really must not have made much of an impression on her. It was too bad, since she had loved getting to know her packmates in Jaded Shadows. That was not to say she had not enjoyed it in Shadowed Sun or AniWaya, but in AniWaya, she had been so busy taking care of her children and keeping up with her family that she hadn’t had as much time to visit with other members. Since she was no longer a leader, it was also not as pertinent anymore. Nonetheless, she still felt bad, both for not remembering Theodoric and for not meeting up with as many AniWayans as before. But now, she recognized this disconnect and accepted it; perhaps she just never really tuned in to the AniWayan beliefs like the others had.

“I’m sorry; I don’t remember you.” She shook her head as a makeshift apology. “How did you find your way here to AniWaya anyway? In three years a lot has probably happened. Seeing Jaded Shadows destroyed must have been a shock, too, if you passed through that area.” Light conversation: certainly, she could manage that much.

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Theodoric Martin · 01-15-2011, 07:36 PM

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“It’s alright,” he replied good-naturedly, “I wasn’t much to remember, back then.” A little self-depreciation to be sure, but this was also the honest truth. Until his time in Jaded Shadows, Theodoric had lived and worked almost exclusively with members of his own extended family. His years as an apprentice weaver had been strictly regulated in a tight web of familial expectation. By the time he graduated into the journeyman’s expected trip, Theodoric had fairly fled from the scrutiny of his relatives and teachers. Across the sea, he shed the oppression of his family, but he had been unable to free himself from the legacy of their upbringing. He had been paralyzed socially and constantly afraid of breaking rules he only half understood. Where most travelers learn to find similarities between their home culture and the new one they’re visiting, Theodoric found (and dwelt on) the differences.

As crippled socially as he had been, the experience had changed Theodoric profoundly. Yes, he returned home as promised, continued weaving, and eventually earned his master’s knot. Yet while at home, he learned the streets and back alleys of Edinburgh and found joy in unexpected (and sometimes scandalous) company. And at night, he always dreamed of virgin forests and peaks that scraped at the skyline. “I went back home to Edinburgh to finish my education after I left Jaded Shadows,” he explained a touch formally, omitting the emotional upheaval that had been involved. “Home was never the same though, after.” He looked down and away, still uncomfortable with the truth of the statement. The words sounded silly as he said them, but he supposed it was as good and as true an explanation as he could give, without spilling his heart to a near-stranger.

“I came back when I could. I went back to the old packlands, but there was nothing there. So I wandered for a while, and eventually found myself on the AniWaya borders. It seemed like as good a place as any, and so here I am.” A rather inglorious story to be sure, but again, a true one. He left out the initial despair he had felt upon seeing the fertile mountainside reduced to an ash-choked scrubland. Theodoric had almost been ready to turn back when the crossing of Halcyon Mountain again yielded habitable lands. “What happened to Jaded Shadows, exactly? I mean, where did everyone go?” He had seen the evidence of the fire and assumed the worst. Then again, if Tayui had survived, surely others had as well?

Tayui Aston · 01-22-2011, 04:23 PM

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She was glad he wasn’t upset over her apparent forgetfulness. She felt bad for not remembering him and then felt even worse when he commented he wasn’t much to remember. For that reason, she wished she could have proven him wrong with a sudden, “aha!” of realization, but she did not honestly remember the fellow. However, that guilt quickly dissipated when he began to explain where he had been all this time. She quickly recognized Edinburgh as one of the many places on her human maps, a dot on a floating piece of land that had been from a seemingly completely different time. It was strange to think he had been places she had only read about. Just when Tayui thought Theodoric made her feel like a homebody, he revealed his homesickness for the region; though, Tayui wasn’t sure if it was his real home, Jaded Shadows, or Nova Scotia in general.

She nodded and added a quick, “yeah” in agreement when he mentioned the ruined packlands. Although she no longer felt a pang of sadness whenever someone mentioned Jaded Shadows, that didn’t mean the loss of the pack hurt any less. He concluded his story with his arrival at AniWaya and Tayui nodded once more, both to show she had been listening and to indicate that the situation had been somewhat similar to her own. Though, she had chosen to join AniWaya when it had only just begun, before it had a pack or real claim to any land.

She was about to relate her own experience when Theodoric asked for just that. She frowned sadly when he asked about Jaded Shadows – it had really been a beautiful pack.

“Most of us escaped after the fire, but I lost track of my co-Alpha, Fatin. I howled for my members for days and a few found their way back to me, but Jaded Shadows was nothing without Fatin. I made a new pack in its memory with a friend from Storm. I called the new pack Shadowed Sun, following the tradition. It was on Halcyon Mountain, in an attempt to recreate the old packlands. It didn’t last too long, though. Fatin formed her own pack and it eventually disbanded as well. I come across old ‘Shadows members every so often, but they come and go.” A grimace and then an attempt at a smile. Everything was going to get better, right?

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