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Mew Sadira
Eg har nytt table. Sei at d e fint. Oh and, d e meir naturlig viss Haku call'e for hu, siden d va hu så tok opp ting sist gong, men eg blei lei av å venta på at du sko starta threaden  såeh, eg bare late som at Haku call'a na, så kan du dreba meg later. Kan sikkert endra d viss du syns d suge. Du va kje på MSN, sucks to be you
Confused, Mew's white paws traversed the countryside-like field bed in flander's fields, heading in the direction her brother's voice had come from. She had not expected such an action from him, especially not since her family had at all times been more than closed to bringing up touchy subjects. She didn't know whether it was his intention to speak about that, but it was inevitable that it'd come up. Unless, of course, anyone else was there. Mew knew better than to spread her problems onto others. Perhaps he wanted to play with her mind, or just repeat to her how lowly he thought of her for being concerned about his wellbeing. She was still bitter, and she would stay bitter until he did something about it. Mew felt that she had done nothing wrong, but obviously he had not appreciated her confrontation. But, he had also completely misunderstood her intention, and when pushed refused to take her words as truth. So be it, but if he didn't have anything constructive to come with this time, then fuck it. He could be the god on his pedestal with a whore-like queen, she didn't care. Those two were among the three that had hurt her the most since she got here nearly six months ago, and none had offered consolidation. She would not forgive those who did not ask for forgiveness.
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Sukk, det e nydeligt.. Du sga faen laga set til ungen eg skal spilla i januar!!!!!
Haku was probably just as confused as Mew, in his own way. He was far from happy, but had no one to share his troubles with. In the past it had been Mew in some rare cases where he had given in and sought support within an other being. Today he would attempt again, for some odd reason. Mew Sadira and Haku Soul had gone each their direction lately, and because Haku paid very little attention to emotional issues that normally mattered, he could not really remember why it had been silent on that front anyway. No matter what had been the reason he had turned away and forced her to do likewise was because he felt an uncomfortable desperation in his guts, and he could not shake it off no matter what he tried. Toxic blood travelled fresh and quick.
She came, but something in her figure seemed to yell out that it was not willingly. He had wronged her. Though he would not admit it, he knew that it was in himself the fault resided, as Mew was a reincarnation of justice, and needed solid reasoning before she let the sky open up and swallow the world with its storm. He shifted his weight around and his fluffy ears flickered nervously, his eyes dancing in circles around her face, unable to meet the orbs graced with the colour of spring. He could not burst out yet though. Mew, good to see you, how are you? We haven’t talked for a while, so I thought I could call out for you and see if you would come, and you did, so great to see you. This was almost as retarded as it could get. Good thing it was Mew and not someone else.
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Mew Sadira
Can do. Deuce sine onga?
Fuck, eg hate linked accounts når innstillingen ikkje lagres frå preview >_<
Word count: 355
As her brother's brown and creamy form grew in size before her, Mew saw that the confusion was not only painted on her own mind. She approached him, and perhaps she could not hide her feelings as well as she always thought she could, since the male seemed to react to the coldness that was inside her. She was stone, and he was moving water; his eyes did not linger any place and his body seemed on edge, ears flickering and pose clumsy. Mew was anticipating an answer, and like an older sister - mature and firm - she would wait with her head raised high until he understood her intention of dragging some apology from him.
His words came tumbling out, clumsily revealing his knowledge of his sister's anger. He knew, but his personality was nothing of the cold steel knife as it had been last she saw him. She had not spoken to him directly since that time, and she had not wished to. Although, over time, when such things were not solved, the anger and distance often grew to new proportions. Noticing her brother's discomfort at her presence (Mew knew very well she could be intimidating when angry, despite her tiny and fragile appearance), her anger immediately subdued slightly. He would not notice, unless he dared meet her emerald eyes, who now sparkled slightly warmer than they had just seconds ago. He was her baby brother, and she both knew him well and did not know him at all. Despite the somewhat cuteness of the clumsy take on the conversation he had, though, she would still demand him to behave himself - it was only fair, after he drove her away in tears. Mew, crying. A rarity. Yes, it's been awhile. She wasn't going to make it easy for him. Why should she? He deserved this, although this was not meant as a malicious thing. She did not want to see him feel bad in any way, he was her brother, but he would just have to work a little for her support. I'm good, thank you. yourself? She was casual ice.
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Naj, eg sga spela ein av Tayui sine. Haku e flinke til å holde blodslinjå fersk i disse dager
They had known each other most of their lives, of course Haku was able to detect at least some of the storm clouds within her pale body. In return, he knew Mew was able to detect some of his own mood, though at the moment his mental chaos was unusually apparent, and he could do nothing to prevent it, because he was beyond his own boundaries. Confusion had looked straight back at him as he had stumbled through his words; however, it had been through her icy orbs in a wicked green hue. No, he could not meet her eyes just yet. Instead he tried to still his body somewhat as she offered an icy response to his words. Why did Mew always have to be a long-time angry piece of female? Well oh well, he was not focused enough to be able to gather his thoughts in any other direction than the one he wanted the least.
He felt quite fucked up. To his sister it must be looking even worse. His personality was fucked up and seemed to shift as the seasons, and just as dramatically. He did not know what to say, and regretted he had called for her at all. See, this was a little example of what happened when emotions swallowed the brain. He did not think through his actions before it was too late. He disliked what he had become. Where was the murderous rapist when he was needed? Do not be angry at me, Mew. I’m sorry for the things I said last time we talked. He was an adult, but there was quite a lot of puppy in his plead. He felt vulnerable, and he made sure she was able to see this, so to strengthen his words, even though the scene in the past had faded quite a while ago.
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Mew Sadira
true d bler et helgolands familietre itte kvert det her. Men det blir vel "soul" familien?
Word count: 354
He did not change, and in comparison to how he had behaved last she saw him, and on other occasions such as during the Inferni raid, he was stark different. The darkness that she had seen in him those times, the authority and the strong drive towards whatever it was he wanted, it wasn't present now. Instead, there stood a confused, young male in front of her, not meeting her eyes and apologizing without a fight. Even though she was glad that he was apologizing, and clearly stating that he meant it, or at least acted it well, she was bewildered by his behavior. No matter, before, when she felt she knew him better, one would still have had to haul (to some degree) an apology out of him. He was proud, like her. But he wasn't behaving very proudly now, was he.
The warm tinge in her eyes melted as she gave in to this confused and weakened pose her brother put on. Bending her head down to "catch" his eye contact, she spoke in a much milder tone, and realized that all that anger, all the anger she had carried against him for a long time now, was vaporized. I can't stay angry at you now, Haku, can I? I never could, dearie. It never took much for Mew to forgive anyone who asked for forgiveness, except for those who had wronged her beyond the threshold of forgiveness. There were still two people across that line. One could, perhaps in time, be forgiven, but she'd have to work hard. The other.. never. But Haku was back in the warmth of her heart and affection again, and it felt good to have forgiven him. But.. something isn't quite right, is it? It's not like you to give in like this, despite how grateful I am for it. Green eyes were warm, but asking for him to consolidate her anxiety. Surely, this time he would see her worry, and not label her as the big bad wolf for having emotions. What was in the past was in the past, but he worried her nonetheless.
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SoulxSadira et eller aent  tvile på at soul navnet vare så mye lengre. Tayui's valper blir aston, og eg antar mesteparten av ungane til Firefly og haku blir sadira eller någe. vett isje ! 
300+
Their eyes met, but Haku’s orbs were restless, like a negative side of a battery forced against the positive. He seemed to be unable to hold his gaze steady. He was realizing more and more how upset he was, and it struck him as extremely odd. This was not him, but who was he really? None knew, him least of them all. Nevertheless, the warmth that started to radiate from the pale being in front of him was more relieving than he could have imagined, and his pitiful excuse of a tail waved between his legs, giving him the somewhat pathetic look of an unhappy puppy. Mew had always been forgiving and supportive. After all these months, a simple apology from Haku was all that was needed, and things were drifting back toward a more normal state between them once again.
The apology did not hurt, though it should have. He blamed his fucked up mind. This was not really Haku, at least not the part that usually resided in him. The personalities inside him seemed to split and merge as they saw fit, and this was turning his world upside down. I do not know what is wrong with me. The Lilium truthfully did not. His own behaviour startled him more than the knowledge that he was about to become a father. I have not felt that well, lately, maybe I am just a bit unstable. He did not know what to say, so random theories were always fun to throw out, even though he guessed it sounded very odd.
Thankfully, he was not the Lilium in Mew’s eyes. To her, he would always be the baby brother, sane or not. A few days ago I was informed that I am going to be a father. His voice was much more stable, and he tried to stand up a bit taller, paws strictly instructed not to falter, eyes settled somewhat. His sister too had to be able to see the hilarious irony here, right?
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Mew Sadira
Mew komme t å bli WTF når hu får vida d e deuce
Word count: 455
Finally he met her gaze, but it seemed as if his mind denied them to stay. They ran here and there like a whimsical dog in the morning hours, just without the bliss. Even though his appearance did not change much, it seemed to Mew that the warmth she felt at finally having their quarrel out of the world had relaxed him as well, to some degree. Still there was something troubling him, and she feared the worst when she heard him speak. She knew she wasn't the only one who had felt as if Haku could sometimes behave as two completely different persons, at times loveable if childishly arrogant, at other times cold and malicious. Others who had tasted the very worst side of the malicious Haku had warned her to stay cautious, but the way he behaved now made her believe he would never hurt her physically, no matter his (possible) mental flaws. There might be another quarrel of the same sort they had just settled, but her brother would not hurt her in the flesh. It calmed the Tilia somewhat, but if he was worried about it, particularly worried enough to tell her at all... Perhaps she should share with him the torments of her own mind, perhaps he would understand? At times it felt as if she, too, could change between opposite poles personalitywise.
Before she could even grasp that thought fully, though, let alone form it into a response of any kind, the younger male with the chocolate fur in front of her seemed to grow a little, and his eyes settled somewhat. Mew did not know of his daughter Colibri Haki; No one had told her and she had been away when it had all happened. She knew nothing of Cer's previous history as his adoptive child, which naturally caused her to believe that this was Haku's first time facing such a situation. Instantly when hearing the news, Mew's tail started moving in a sideways motion behind her, her ears perked skywards and a smile broke out on her face. This was great news! It was probably this that troubled him so, and nothing else. Though Mew could not really picture Firefly as a mother, it was still good to hear that he would be lucky enough to have a family of his own. How wonderful! Congratulations, Haku. Her form moved forward to let her face brush by his in a hug, and as she pulled herself away she followed up on the conversation. So I guess you and Firefly are all serious about this, huh?. It was no secret she didn't care for Firefly, but assuming Haku needed to talk about this she would give him the oportunity.
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What the fuck did she offer him? A smile and congratulations? What the hell, could she not detect that there was no happiness whatsoever in his body? His body was stiff as she touched him. This was terrible, horrible news! More confusion leapt into his system as Firefly’s name popped into the air. Oh, Mew, a grown up adult, but so naïve at times. He envied her that. He shook his head violently. No! Sure it would have been misery if Firefly got infested with puppies as well, but this was worse as this was another female. There’s no fragment of anything wonderful in that fact, and it is not Firefly, it’s someone else. His eye contact broke and found the cool grown at her feet.
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The signals Mew had taken for pride obviously had not been just that, and the hug she offered him became more of a wrestle in the finishing; her brother's body not welcoming the gesture done out of misunderstanding. The femme was confused. She had thought he saw this as a good thing, but obviously enough, he didn't. How should she react to this? There was nothing in the world Mew wanted more, now, than her children. The ones that had died, but still. If she had been able to get another litter, she would have taken that chance immediately. Although as it was, she might not live through it. There could be damage to the whole system. Perhaps he was simply confused at the whole role of being a father? Mew wanted to consolidate him, but she did not know how. Oh... For a second, that was all she said, before she opened her mouth and prompted; Whose are they then, if you don't mind me asking? She wasn't prying, nor judging. Secretly, she felt a little glee at the fact that he had been untrue to Firefly; it served her right. Her face was open for whatever he might say, as she waited for his reply, clearly signalizing good intentions and support.
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Her question disturbed him slightly, as in truth he wished the whole thing undone, and he knew gossip travelled easily. However, this was his sister, and though their relationship was odd, with both bad and good moments, he doubted she would risk their relationship in any way, and whatever he would say would also stay between just the two of them. His ears flattened a bit as the Lilium allowed silence to fall before he finally decided that it all could go to hell. Deuce, one of Phoenix Valley’s leaders. Yes, a leader automatically received more attention because of his/her rank in the hierarchy, and questions were sure to arise when the time came to deliver the puppies, and no clear father figure stepped into the light. Truth be told, it was possible Deuce had someone already (Haku had never bothered to find out). He knew Deuce had a mate in the past, a black male called Lucifer (His mother’s lover at one point?). Genes could not do wonders, and scent played its role well, so in the end, he knew it was very likely that he would be recognized as the puppies’ father. I would never fit the role of a father, you know that. It was too true, and he thought this was the main reason he thought of the incoming litter as a curse. He knew he was unable to be a worthy father figure.
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The awkwardness from a moment only seconds ago that went to startled anger now stiffened in tenseness as Haku did not like the questions she asked. Mew's baby brother was clearly uncomfortable, more so than Mew could recall she had ever seen him. That is, purely uncomfortable. Embarrassement and awkwardness did not count. He was truly put off by this, and perhaps he had reason to. Haku had never been the kind to feel uncertainty very strongly, which was almost always what made the case when one was presented with accidental parentship. On the contrary, his confidence in himself reached, at times, nearly unbearable heights, but as his sister she had grown to love even that feature of his personality. It reminded her of Haku the puppy, king of the world with no one to stop him. This confidence seemed to have just a small bulk in its body right now, but Mew doubted it would be lasting. Nope, he would settle with the situation fairly soon enough, though it might feel a bit out of hand right now.
As she heard the name the brown male in front of her spoke, she realized some of the center of his worries. Deuce. Mew knew, vaguely, of the leadership in the other packs, except Inferni, which she did not dare think about, let alone seek out or talk about. So he was not going to take part. Mew understood this very well...but a leader's unclaimed pups would be a center of curiosity, and not that many other males than Haku had that warm brown pelt, presenting a major problem. Mew didn't care about Firefly in the least, but if the truth was unveiled their pack might lose another member, and they couldn't really afford it. Hopefully, a good portion of time would pass until anyone realized who the pups' father was, and by then perhaps any situation with Firefly was more easily avoided.
I don't know what to say.. I guess you're not going to run over to be her mate... No words seemed to fit what she wanted to say. And she feared becoming too emotional due to his reaction against it before. In general Mew would always be vulnerable to her brother's wrath or opinions. Mew did not care about what people thought of her, with the exception of Colibri and Haku. Melisande was far gone, so that relation was buried, but what was left of the core of the family remained dear to her. She knew it was probably folly to be scared of his reactions, but she was nonetheless. He would never know, though. She is going to hide the truth as well, then?
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400+
In reality, it was not the parentship itself that triggered his nerves so violently. It was the final evidence that he was changing into someone he did not wish to be. This had started as an easy role-play that had been supposed to last for only a limited amount of time before bursting out and roaming wildly around again. Even though he felt comfortable (in a strange way) here, it was not a place he wanted to be. He did not wish for this life. His current desire was Firefly, and though he had not felt this kind of attraction toward any other female ever, he never really expected things to stay as they did. The world had only served as his private playground, but now his playground was becoming corrupted with variables that he could not control. Mew seemed to slowly realize that.
The Sadira boy let a dead laugh bubble up to the surface as Mew found a suiting reply. That was very true. Mateship? Funny, that was not the Haku way. Pick the best and take what you want, then throw them away. This whole bullshit had happened after he had let feelings flow into his life, and that was evidence enough that he perhaps should get out of here and get back to his old life. The only word that echoed through his mind repeatedly was ‘bullshit’. Such a shame all of this. Blue orbs rested on the light being that was his sister. He realized with disappointment that he actually had missed her company. God, he really needed to get out of here, away from everyone and everything. Maybe that was a thing Colibri Soul’s son had inherited from his mother; the need to free himself from the chains and be free. Except his view on freedom also included some random violence and complete lack of conscience.
I am not sure, Mew. I just know that I cannot be a part of this comedy. What else was there to say. His words made it obvious for Mew that he did not intend to play any part in the puppies’ lives. Haku had never asked Mew about her own stillborn litter. If she had felt pain, how she was, what was happened in her life right now. Haku was a bastard, and his way of treating his sister was not deserved. Mew really did deserve better. I don't know why I am still here. What makes you stay, Mew? His voice was low and edged with an odd touch of sadness. What kept them here, what kept them together?
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Word count: 375
Her brother's anger subsided, and suddenly he seemed at a loss, speaking with a voice almost tipped with sadness. The seriousness... The odd things that had happened to her brother. Where was he, somewhere inside that chocolate body in front of her? The annoyingly, happily arrogant baby brother, who could probably irritate a rock if he put his mind to it. Suddenly, despite the chocolate in his fur, Mew spotted a likeness in the eyes of the male in front of her. He bore the resemblance of his mother, the way he looked at her now, but the tilia could not put her finger on what exactly caused her to think of that. Him and Colibri had never been alike, but now.. Just for a few seconds, at least, there was something in the eyes. Mew cast her eyes down at the ground for five seconds or so, thinking. What did keep her here? Why hadn't she just gone already? Her litter, the reason she had come here, was dead. So why hadn't she moved back to her nomadic life? You, for one thing. She said it, but she hadn't planned to do so. As she spoke, she recognized it as truth, but she hadn't known before the second she said the sentence. The situation was uncomfortable - Haku and Mew had always had the brother-sister bond to some degree, but they had never spoken about their family bonds. It just.. things just worked that way. Then there's the graves of my babies. She could not leave them. She had betrayed them once, and she would not again. It was her own fault that they had been robbed of life. Asphyxia, yes, indirectly, but Mew should never have been there in the first place. The tilia thought about it every day. It was some sort of self-torture, perhaps. But she needed to do so, to remind herself of her crime, but she didn't know why. I guess I'm just here, really. For no reason. I had planned to leave ages ago, but I've just... not done so. She sighed, and looked up again to find those sparkling blue orbs of her brother. They both had such vividly colored eyes, so different but not at all.
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ven though this was Haku, Mew’s words slightly touched him. He had given her no reason to stay since he joined the ranks of Dahlia, but she was still able to make him one of the reasons for staying around after their mother had left(again). Also, yes, the fact that Mew had given birth to a litter had quickly flushed out of his system after he had done his dark deed(in the name of ‘justice’) on her behalf. How was it possible to love someone she had never met? Like, they had been stillborn, all of them, yes? It was sad. Haku would never be able to fully understand a true parent’s(mother’s) attachment and extreme love for its offspring. It was just impossible for him to understand, because he would never be able to access such a deep emotion as true love.
Maybe what he and Firefly had something, as his mind and body always drifted back to her, but he was not sure if that could be considered true love or not, because he was unable to compare it with anything he had felt before. He had cared for his daughter, really, he had, but he knew what it had been. If a child gets a new toy, it is entertaining for a while, but in the end, Haku ended up having nothing to give, and he had unfortunately slipped back into old tracks and fucked up a young girl that only wanted to be loved by her father. Worst part was that he rarely was able to feel guilty about it, except for some odd emotional moments that seemed to rise ever so often these days. Like with Deuce’s incoming litter. What did all this mean?
Yeh.. Haku had never been a man of words, and Mew knew this well. How can you love someone you never really met.. or knew, Mew? Blue eyes begged for understanding, that he did not really wish to question her emotions and loss, but that he simply did not fully understand how she was able to do such a thing.
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Crappy svar, men d e jaffal et svar!
The chocolate-pelted male in front of her seemed to have shifting thoughts, lingering a moment on the silence before uncertain words tumbled out of his mouth. Obviously, he asked about her children. It was a very good question, and again Mew did not know entirely how to reply to it. Why did she love her children? Perhaps a more right question was why wouldn't she love them. She had carried them in her body for not that long, but she knew that she had created them, nurtured them, given them everything they needed when they were helpless and depending only on her. She had broken that, as well, but that was not the question now. Green eyes moved from their brothers' gaze, absent-looking as Mew's mind fell into thought. They had been so beautiful, almost impossible to explain. She hadn't gotten the chance to know them, but she had perhaps met them. She had felt how they reacted to her everyday doings, their little kicks and signs of pleasure or uncomfortableness. It showed her that although they could not express themselves, they had clear personalities. The little girl that had been the smallest of the four, she was the quiet one who had been at the top, never complaining, but every now and then nudging her mother a little as if to say "hey, don't forget I'm here, allright?". She couldn't explain it, and she knew Haku would not understand. The tilia did not blame him for this, because that's how he was. And often, that was how males in general were, not able to experience the bond between a mother and her child. I don't know, dear. I can't explain it.. I just sort of, do. Her answer was not shedding light on anything. She knew that. It is so amazing to think of the fact that something so beautiful came from my body, you know? There's also a large portion of pride right there.
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Jaaa
She was not able to explain, and he nodded slowly as if he understood the difficulty in the task. It was different when the bastards were growing inside of one’s own body, but he doubted he would have had a heart to love them with nevertheless. Haku could praise himself lucky that he was born into the right gender, because of his lifestyle. Deuce was possibly one of several impregnated subjects, but as the male, it was not mandatory of him to deal with the trouble. Mew spoke of children as something beautiful, which produced a slightly sad smile from her brother. If this order would happen to break down and leave him drowning in disgusting things, he would at least have a willing babysitter (or so he believed). Haku tilted his head slightly and licked his lips unconsciously. I am sorry, it must have been unimaginably hard for you. I should have been there and supported you. He would not be there if that sad story would have happened all over again, but his words were sincere enough and would at least offer her some feeling of support for now. Actually I have a daughter already which I raised and took care of. Ups, here it came. It was quite a while ago, and she is gone now, but.. I did not do great. She will always be there in my mind, a big red warning sign that things should not repeat themselves. Indeed.
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wru inspirasjon og du ska få photoshop å di, eg love. Friskare nå, mhm. ryggen då?
It seemed to be the time for revealing secrets, and perhaps Mew had underestimated her brother once again. So he was already a father, eh? Pondering for a moment on the fact, Mew reached the conclusion that the girl must be quite old now, since she had been here already for some time and this had to have happened not long after her leave should he have time to raise her and everything. Suddenly she was interested in names and details but she knew she shouldn't bother him with it. The man didn't seem very happy with the thought of having more children, and not particularly pleased with how things had worked out in the past, and thus she would not push him. Or maybe a little. He opened up for it so he could stand it, but she'd be nice. At least to Haku. I didn't know. She wasn't one to sniff out rumours and information. If she had wanted to, she could probably have sought the right people and learnt everything that had happened while she had been away, including some details about this daughter of his, but it wasn't really of importance anymore anyway. I'm sorry to hear that... He shared what he wished to share and she would not pry otherwise. This mysterious niece was gone now however, and by the phrasing Mew assumed she had died. She could say something like "I guess you've learnt now", but she wouldn't. It wasn't her place as she didn't know how hard or easy it could be to raise children. And now things are repeating themselves, sort of, though.. shit happens, eh?. Perhaps he would do better a second time around?
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Operasjonen jekk fint, så eg e allerede heima og planlegge å reisa på mandag Tenke me slutte her åsså kan eg laga nye når eg får tid? Så kan me hiva inn den derre fiolinen å di.
Of course she did not know, no one knew, except for Cer, which had shut her mouth as well about the truth. He was almost impressed by the Dahlia Empress, because he knew very well how important Coli had been to her. The two girls had grown up together, and they had shared everything. Haku just had to destroy it. The male watched Mew with a calm that was just an illusion. He knew she would hunger for more details, but it seemed she managed to control herself and give him shelter. They had unwritten rules between them, and Mew always kept at his pace when there were things that made even him slightly uncomfortable. Shit happens she said, and she was right. Only that this time he could not run away from it, and he was a trapped beast, one of the most dangerous kinds. Heh, yeah. He gave a short nod and let the edges of his lips pull up a bit to form a faint smile, but it was nothing but the obvious fake smile. Nothing else could be expected from him today. I’ll see you later, sister. He was amazing with his exit cues, but she was very well aware of that too. They both had a bit to think about, and should do so on their own. It was what Haku preferred anyways, so his body turned forty-five degrees and he started to walk away.
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