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lezbnShe's in her Optime form in the Library :]
lezbn It was a quiet day. Tayui had spent her time thus far reading and conversing with Fatin's puppies as they came and went. Now that they were older, they spent much of their time exploring and learning. One had inquired as to the name of a plant, which resulted in Tayui locating her book on plants and flipping through the pages in search of this mysterious plant. After the puppy had left, satisfied that the plant was indeed an Aster, the puppy had departed to find someone (perhaps their brother or sister) to inform them of this discovery.
lezbn Curiosity piqued, Tayui had continued to flip through the book, reading about the various plants that were said to inhabit their region. She found that columbine, though useful, could be fatal if overdosed. She wrinkled her nose and continued reading, curious to see if the plant Misery had told her about was in there. The other wolf had called it a number of names, most of which had elicited a smile from Tayui. She turned the page, scanning each name and glancing over the text written beneath, and staring at the image for a time. She had not realized so many flowers were not simply flowers, but ones with names and individual uses. She smirked, shaking her head. This was exactly why Fatin was the Apothecary and not she.
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She was more lucid today than most, and knew she needed to leve the den she and her mate shared. She needed to be out and about, needed to move, to maybe shake off the lethargy that influenced her every thought. She headed deeper into the dens, into an area she hadn't explored. She didn't carry her herb bag, nor her journal. She hadn't carried them since she and Lucifer fought the night they'd officially mated, the night the ill-fated pups had been created.
A scent came to her and she paused hesitantly. It was an alpha, but it wasn't fatin. It must be tayui, whom the mother hadn't met yet. Had lucifer informed the alphas of what had happened? She didn't know, most days she was too out of it to even remember her own name. She approqched slowly, her eyes on the ground, waiting to be adknowledged. Some habits died hard. In Storm and Aremys, the alphas had been friends, and didn't worry as much about the rules and regulations of the pack. here, however, she already knew Fatin didn't like her. Better safe than sorry.
She ran fingers through her mane as she waited to be adknowledged.
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[html] I apologize for the wait. Exams are lame.
The sound of hesitant footsteps had alerted her of another's presence, but it took Tayui a few more moments to find Deuce's form. She had padded in silently, not saying a word. Tayui looked up from the book resting on her lap, pausing to take in Deuce's rather dishevelled appearance. She noted the nervous way Deuce ran her claws through her mane, waiting a few minutes to take in the sight before speaking, offering a soft smile. "Hello, Deuce. Is there anything I can do for you?" Her words were gentle and her expression conveyed that of curiosity. She had not seen much of the other female recently, or even since she had joined. Now that she had, she was wondering if everything was all right.
Deuce looked a little tired, but beyond that, Tayui could not pinpoint if she had simply run the way here, or was worrying herself over something. She decided not to try and guess what this visit was about, and instead, would allow Deuce to tell her. She set the book aside, placing a piece of bark between the pages to keep her place.
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She looked to tayui nervously. Would the alpha think Shadow's death was her fault? What exactly did her alpha kno of the troubles between her and Lucifer? "Hello, Deuce. Is there anything I can do for you?" Deuce almost cried at the caring in the words.
"I needed to get out of my den, when i found you in here. I don't think you were ever told....I don't know who he's told, actually." She was rambling, really, but it was okay, probably.
"A while back, i found Shadow. He was dead. Worse than dead. The coyotes had torn him up pretty bad. And done things to his body. It waa really bad." She was crying, reliving the memory of finding the boy again. "I took him back to my other den, and I lost Lucifer's pups. I was pregnant and sick and I miscarried. I'm sorry if no one told you. I've been so bad lately, i hear him talking to me sometimes. Him and Erik both. they say bad things to me, mean hurtful things."
She lifted her face to the alpha's, begging for help with her eyes, and then her voice. "Something's wrong with me, and I don't know what it is. I can't fix myself, and lucifer's going to leave me because of it."
Credit to Misery!
[html] Tayui listened quietly as Deuce gathered herself, bringing herself closer and closer to the verge of tears with every word. Patiently, she waited as Deuce was able to collect herself, her story becoming more coherent as she spoke. Tayui frowned, her mouth twisting in unhappiness as the other female continued to speak. She felt a heavy weight press down on her chest as Deuce recounted the things that pained her, wishing she did not feel so much like the antagonist for having Deuce relive this. Tayui could not do anything to help ease the female's pain, but the fact that Deuce trusted her enough to tell her this, even when it hurt her so, eased her worries a little. She was unsure if she could help the other, but it was her duty to try.
Tayui wondered what she might possibly be able to do that might help. She knew nothing of how the mind worked, and had not read any books on it involving voices in one's head, real or not. She did not know if they might be a dream, Deuce's imagination, or her memories returning to haunt her. She did suppose that she could pay Inferni a visit to see what they knew of Shadow's death, however, she knew the coyote clan was far more lawless than their own. The penalty for the murder of another, whether a part of their pack or not, was heavy. Tayui knew that Phasma had exiled Lucifer for rape, and although she was unsure if he had since repented for this, or if such was possible, they did not take such actions lightly. She knew from discussion with Kaena, however, that the coyotes did not view wolves in a very positive light. Fatin was on good terms with Inferni, and although Tayui and Kaena had reached an agreement, she was not sure how this would carry over to Gabriel now that he lead the clan. She would have to talk to both Gabriel and Lucifer, it seemed, to straighten this out.
"I cannot tell you how sorry I am for your losses. Words can harm one more than they can soothe sometimes," she replied with a certain degree of regret. "However, I will try to rectify this if I can. I will speak to Gabriel and see what happened with your son, however, if he was trespassing, the coyotes may have seen fit to make an example of him." She tried to keep her words kind, but it was the look in her eyes that truly said I'm sorry. "And I will speak to Lucifer if you want me to. It's not my place, I know, so that would be your call. I would like to help you, Deuce, if I can." And she would.
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(Tay can follow or not, depending if you want to continue this thread.  )
The alpha cared, she offered to help. Speaking to the leader of the coyotes wouldn't bring the boy back.....but it might bring the mother some closure. She nodded, slowly. And then the alpha's next words, the look in her eyes. And I will speak to Lucifer if you want me to. It's not my place, I know, so that would be your call. I would like to help you, Deuce, if I can."
Deuce hesitated then. She fidgeted uncertainly, remembering the night the pups had been concieved, and the morning after. Then she shook her head in the negative. No...that's very kind of you....but it's for Lucifer and I to work out. But thank you....
Suddenly she was feeling very trapped, stifled. The air in the caves was hard to breath, and she wanted the sky above her. She took a few slow breaths, and could hear Shaodw mocking her, could hear Erik chiming in. Her claws dug into the palm of her hands, try9ing to stay, but needing to flee. And then her nerves got the best of her. I gotta go...i gotta ge outta here, Tayui. I'm sorry, i have to go.... Her voice was frantic, frightened. She turned and rushed out, stumbling as she went. She didn't stop until she was far enough from the caverns that she no longer felt the weight overhead. She collapsed into a snowdrift, shivering and quaking.
Clastrophobia had begun to manifest itself in small ways, but now it stood up, rearing it's hateful self. Deuce laid there panting, waiting for the trembling to subside.
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There was only so much one could do. As much as she wished it to be, she knew she would not be able to help Deuce with her personal problems. It was not her battle to fight, and she hadn't any of the weapons necessary to fight it. She knew nothing of Deuce's troubles with Lucifer; she only recalled the situation she had been in when she had first arrived in the pack. She had been delusional, that was most certain, afraid of everything and most especially fire. She did not know who she was sometimes, and other times, she knew all too well. It had taken her a year - at least - to find herself. It was unfortunate that Lucifer had to witness Deuce's own struggle to find herself, or whatever it might be that Deuce needed to do. It was especially unfortunate that Lucifer was - apparently - going to leave Deuce for it.
"Ah, I thought so. You are correct; there is only so much I can do," she replied, watching Deuce carefully. She hoped the other female would be alright. She frowned as Deuce spoke again, remaining where she was seated as Deuce ran out of the library. Unsure, Tayui watched Deuce's form disappear through the door, puzzling over if she should follow her and see if she was alright. She was unsure if anyone else from the pack would see her, and the way Deuce had departed - frightened and scared, in such a rush - concerned her.
Tayui followed the female through the network of caverns, approaching slowly as she exited the cave. She knelt down beside Deuce's form, reaching out to place a hand on Deuce's, then flinching at the last moment. She left her hand hovering in the air for a few seconds before dropping it to her side. "Deuce," she whispered quietly, not wanting to startle the female. "You're not alone. If you need something, you can come to me. I'm your Alpha - it's my duty. I just wanted you to know that."
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