[P] [M] House of the rising sun
p. Biff
#1

WARNING: This thread contains material exceeding the general board rating of PG-13. It may contain very strong language, drug usage, graphic violence, or graphic sexual content. Reader discretion is advised.

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ooc - Vinny finally locates Biff's bar! Hope it's okay to assume that Biff is doing bar tending duties when Vinny finds him

Vinny

Well. This would be the last time Vinny ever took directions from a shifty looking coydog with whisky stinking up his breath. The Blackrust unleashed a torrent of swears that would make toes curl as he came across what he was pretty sure was the same fucking street corner for the third time in a row. The dog hybrid had been walking in circles for what seemed like hours in the dreary winter weather, vainly searching for a so called bar where his nutter cousin had supposedly set up shop.

He’d described Biff as a “brick wall, and not that much smarter than one”, and had gotten a positive response from the stranger who he had cornered. And after a few minutes of Vinny’s aggressive interrogation, the scrawny man was more than eager to point the Blackrust in the right direction to Biff’s establishment. ”Right direction” my ass! What a goddamn fool he was, following the directions of a drunkard who most likely couldn’t find his own rear end!

Throwing up his hands in frustration, Vinny mentally chucked the stranger’s directions into a trash can as he strayed away from the endless loop. All of the building’s in this fucking city looked the same, there were no landmarks! Everything was grey, cracked, and grown over with weeds and vines. Vinny’s lip curled in disgust as he marched along. At least in Boston, he wouldn’t get so turned around!

Maybe it was chance, or maybe God got tired of Vinny calling him every name in the swear book. Whatever it was, the Blackrust eventually found himself at the doorway of one of the various buildings strewn across the ruined city. On the outside, it looked no different than any of the other craphouses that littered the streets. But what had attracted Vinny was the sounds of hustle and bustle within, as well as the sour stench of booze.

Shouldering himself inside, Vinny was greeted with a dimly lit bar scene. Tables and chairs were spread sporadically throughout the space, and a long wooden counter ran along the far side of the establishment. A row of barstools were lined up along it, some housing bar patrons nursing their drinks. But what interested Vinny the most was the massive dog hybrid behind the bar, serving up drinks at whim. Biff was recognizable from a mile away, if not for his size then for his lonesome collar.

”Hey! Ya big moron!” Vinny hollered as he marched up to the bar, claiming a seat for himself. Ignoring the glances he got from the various patrons, the Blackrust continued his spiel. ”You know how long I’ve been lookin’ for you? Days! Maybe weeks! I dunno,” Vinny threw up his hands in exasperation ”You certainly haven’t made yourself easy to find! Moron.” But while he would never admit it, boy was he glad to have found him! And not a moment too soon, for if Vinny had searched for Biff any longer, then he would have hit him for wasting his time!

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#2
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He rolled his eyes as the lady in front of him droned on and on about her old pack and oh they all died in the war, oh wow, who gives a shit, seriously. He drummed his fingers on the counter - it was a bit of a slow day, and the only reason he wasn't telling this lady off was because he didn't really have much else to do. Spud was out, and he couldn't leave with people in here, but... eh, fuck this.


"Oh, that sounds fucking faaascinating," he interrupted, tone about as dry as his long-dead grandmother's "desert rose". The wolf looked stricken, as though he'd insulted her entire family, and huffed, taking her drink and opting to sit at another table far, far from the counter. Biff grinned savagely - yeah, fuck that story, it was boring as shit - and looked towards the door as he heard the bell ring. Someone had arrived.


He grinned as the figure entered - he knew immediately who it was. Fucking Vinny. Roxy had arrived, and Biff suspected that maybe her brothers would accompany her, but to actually see him was something else entirely. He looked as dumb and angry as ever.


"Oh ho ho!" he exclaimed, slamming a hand on the counter. "If it's not my faaavorite cousin!" This wasn't a lie - Vinny was just so god damn easy to rile up, and it was fuckin' hilarious every single time. He held his chin in his hand as Vinny began to rant and rave, calling Biff names and whining about how long it took to find him. Biff's grin grew wider and wider, revealing more and more of his teeth, until Vinny finally finished his tirade - then he dissolved into raucous, uproarious laughter.


"AHAHAHA!!" He banged his fist on the counter, lifting his head to the sky as he howled with uncontrolled, booming laughter. "AHAHA -- Oh, man, Vinny," he said, pantomiming wiping tears of laughter from his face, "fuckin' same as ever. Holy shit." A loose, almost cruel grin was left on his face after his laughter bout - he probably wouldn't have been quite this uproarious had it not been for the drinks he had been steadily knocking back since that afternoon.


He walked around the counter, approaching Vinny and aiming to give him a rough (and maybe slightly painful, maybe just a bit too-long) noogie on the top of his head. Haha, oh man, this was gonna be great.


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#3
Vinny

As Vinny strolled into the bar scene, he had quickly spotted his cousin manning the bar station, a glass in hand. Of course Vinny had enough sense to recognize his blockhead cousin anywhere, but it certainly didn’t hurt that he towered over all the other patrons in the bar. He seemed to be taking a part in a rather engaging conversation with a pinched looking woman at the bar. Or, at least, one of them was engaged. Vinny didn’t miss the deadpanned stare Biff gave the wolf as she droned on, nor the dramatic rolling of his eyes. His cousin did that whenever someone was this close to boring him to tears.

The Blackrust felt no obligation to wait for their conversation to end, but he had no need to be impatient for it wasn’t long before Biff scared her away. Vinny passed the woman, smirking at her stricken expression. Yeah, the Blackrusts had that effect on most people! Though it wouldn’t be too long before Biff would make his niche here, whether or not he got the local approval.

”Man, that lady wasn’t pretty enough to stick around for! What were yer doing, encouraging her to talk like that?” Vinny teased, his teeth flashing a wolfish grin ”Any girl who down right looks like she’s sucking a lemon ain’t worth the time, let me tell ya that!” Vinny gave a chuckle, not minding if the lady in question overheard his comments ”Good thing I’m back ter set ya straight!”

”Aw, shove it up yer ass!” Vinny growled back at Biff’s obnoxiously loud introduction. Thankfully the majority of the patrons were either deaf or knew better than to respond to Biff’s hollering. Most likely Biff found something to yell about any five minutes, anyway. Despite his gruff demeanor towards Biff, Vinny was pretty glad that he had finally stumbled upon the right joint.

That relief soon gave way to irritation as the epic tragedy of his travels were cut short by Biff’s obnoxious hooting. ”Jesus, could you fuckin’ please shut yer trap so that I can finish?!” Vinny snapped back, his carmine eyes narrowed at the hearty Blackrust. ”So anyway, there I am, freezing my fucking balls off when-”

”Aw, goddamit.” Vinny swore, though this was muffled into the crook of Biff’s elbow as his cousin darted around the bar space to give him a rub on his head. ”The fuck- you tryna’ scalp me?!” Vinny barked, wiggling out of Biff’s grasp with a snort of indignation. ”Well, it’s nice ter see ya haven’t changed a bit, either.” This last bit was loaded with dry sarcasm.

”So, what the hell is up with this place, man? N’ where’s Brandy?”

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#4
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Biff was told to 'shove it up his ass', and immediately was struck with deja vu. He couldn't pinpoint why... maybe it was the thousands of other times that Vinny told him to shove it up his ass. Nah, couldn't be it. He grinned as the other dog asked him to shut up so he could finish his story. Haha, nope! He barely cared about Vinny's shitty story, anyway; the stories about how people got here were all the same, with the ice and snow
and oh my gosh this place is so hard to find and yeah, yeah, whatever. He grinned viciously at his permanently irate cousin as he screeched about Biff trying to scalp him.


"Yeah!" he roared, giving him an even harder noogie before finally releasing him from his grasp. Vinny snorted with indignation; Biff ignored it. "Gotta get me some Vinster hair, make a good rug!!" He reached out to the top of Vinny's head, which wasn't hard (damn, the kid was so short, he forgot), and plucked a single strand of fur from his more-or-less nonexistent mane.


"Aw, Brandy's out doin what the fuck ever," he said, flipping his hand in the air like he didn't know exactly what she was up to at more or less any given moment. "Went off to some nerd pack. She still hangs around, though," he said, recalling that Brandy had visited just the other day. She was coming around more now that the bar had a larger clientele; she claimed that it was because of the "ladies" hanging around, but she didn't do as much flirting as she did catching up with Biff. Growing up together and then suddenly separating would do that to you, he guessed. Go figure.


"And the fuck you mean 'what's up with this place'?" he practically roared, spreading his arms out wide to show off the various patrons, all enjoying their drinks. "I run a fuckin' bar now! Get with the times, you little shit!" He grinned again, clapping Vinny hard on the back.


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#5
Vinny

”Hey! Ouuuuuch!” Vinny whined piteously as Biff plucked the single strand of hair from his sore scalp. Glaring at Biff from the side of his eye, Vinny rubbed the sore pin prick on his forehead. Damn, he would fucking miss that piece of hair ”Hey, not all of us grow hair like fucking grizzlies!” Vinny growled, his anger stemming from the grief of losing that god forsaken strand of hair prematurely. He was taken far too early…

”Wait, are ya’ fuckin’ serious?!” Vinny responded, for the first time his eyes widened in shock. Brandy...in a pack? Vinny startled chortling, and that chortling quickly escalated to a bout of cacophonous laughter Man,” The Blackrust wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye Brandy jus’ fuckin’ runnin’ with the wolves!” The image of his harebrained cousin in a wolf pack almost made him shit himself. ”Betcher pleased with that!” Vinny finished, his face splitting in a wolfish grin. He knew perfectly well that the two had been practically inseparable from birth, and was curious if Biff felt more than he really let on.

”Eh, I suppose she would.” Vinny remarked, not all that surprised hearing that Brandy would drop by frequently. If there were two things that girl loved most in the world, it would be her brother and booze. Maybe not necessarily in that order. Oh, and girls would be somewhere on the list too.

”Of course I see that it’s a fucking bar!” Vinny responded to Biff’s roar with an air of indignation. At Biff’s hearty clap, Vinny just about pitched forward, just barely catching himself from tripping over his own two feet. Sometimes...it was really fucking annoying to be the short one of the family.

”When the fuck did you learn how to brew shit anyway?” Vinny growled, eyeing Biff with suspicion. Back in Boston, his muscle headed cousin had fun toying with rusty cars and hunting...but certainly not brewing as far as he was aware. Drinking and smoking, yes. But brewing?

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#6
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He snickered as Vinny complained about his hair, and threw the one that he plucked out of his head behind him for it to land on the ground. Biff didn't have a thick mane in his Optime form, either - not like Brandy did, with her side-swept hair reaching down to her chin. He didn't care, though; his fur was thick and good, and anyway, he'd look handsome no matter what his hair looked like. Speaking of Brandy, the conversation quickly switched over to her, and Biff snickered as Vinny exclaimed in surprise and disbelief.


"Fucking right?" he said, shaking his head as Vinny's chuckles evolved into full-blown guffaws, the raucous noise paired with his cries of mockery at the thought of his cousin in a wolf pack. Biff rolled his eyes - it was true, fucking unfortunately. She'd been infatuated with the idea of the pack as soon as they'd heard it from that one passing loner on their way north; it was something about the humanization and "wild parties" that did it, he thought. Brandy always loved the city, and she loved stuff more than Biff ever did. He gave Vinny a wry smile as he guessed at Biff's feelings on the whole thing.


"I don't give a shit," he declared, crossing his arms. "Fuckin' "wolf pack" is like, half dogs anyway." The scent at the borders had slowly shifted over the months, and it seemed that it was now more heavily skewed towards 'dog' than it had been when they'd first arrived - and even then, it had still smelled of mutts mixed with the other rabble.


Biff let out an uproarious bout of laughter as Vinny almost fell forward from the force of his slap on the back. Holy shit, that was hilarious - what a shrimp. Biff often found humor in the most slapstick of comedy, and nonviolence was a concept foreign to him, especially where shrimpy little family was concerned. Vinny's voice turned to a low growl as he asked him where he learned to brew; Biff simply returned his suspicious glare with a wide grin, showing off his teeth, and ruffled the top of his head.


"There's a lot about me you don't know, Vinster," he said cryptically, waggling his brows at the other. He let out a sharp, barking laugh before continuing. "Learned it from some-a-the wolves 'round here. Yeah, yeah, I fucking know," he said, interrupting any protests or cries of incredulity that Vinny might have about that. He wasn't the biggest god damn fan of wolves either, but shit, if they were useful, they were useful. And they were funny sometimes, too.


"Plus, I got myself a buddy runnin' this place, knows some stuff like that. Name's Spud. He's my Spud-bud. Spuddy," he said, face breaking out into another enormous grin and laughing, cackling at his own dumb joke. Did that even count as word play?


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#7
Vinny

”Ahahaha!” Vinny was still tickled pink at the idea of Brandy with a wolf pack. The image of his stocky cousin frolicking a ways behind a lean hungry, pack of freaking wolves almost made him shit himself! At least, Vinny had always assumed that wolves just..ran amok in the forest, howling at the moon or some shit. Evidently, his view had been somewhat misguided. ”Half dogs, eh?” Vinny snorted, though he was somewhat less amused now. Eh, it was still weird that Brandy would choose to run with another pack instead of remaining with the Blackrusts. But she had always been a queer one, in more ways than one.

Vinny only responded to Biff’s Crog-Magon sense of humor with a low growl, not hesitating to bear a white glint of teeth between his lips. His cousin may have a few- okay, a shit ton- of pounds on him, but a well aimed bite would even the playing field. Ahaha, that would wipe that dumb smile off his face! Vinny thought to himself smugly. While the Blackrust would never admit it, anybody with eyes could see that he suffered a severe height complex. And unfortunately for him, his family was not made of nice people, so Vinny was used to the constant barbs regarding his short stature.

”Oh yeah,” Vinny snorted in disbelief at his cousin’s cryptic response ”The man, the mystery, the enigma. Fuckin’ Biff.” Vinny’s words dripped with sarcasm as he tilted his head back to meet his cousin’s gaze. Which was a hard thing to do when one was trying to make it not evident that he had to lift his chin to see Biff’s expression. ”Okay, for real. Quit fucking with me.” Vinny snapped, his voice made irritated by impatience. If there was anything that Vinny liked less than being short, it would be mysteries and surprises.

”Ahaha, those god damn wolves again-” Vinny puffed his chest with an inhale, prepared to deliver another ranting spiel on how arrogant and uptight all the pack animals were. However his speech was cut short with a wave of Biff’s hand. Vinny exhaled, his shoulders drooping with the disappointment that Biff wouldn’t be blessed with hearing his speciest rants for the hundreth fucking time.

”..Spud? You’re telling me Vinny’s disappointment was short lived, for his ears soon perked up once more in a predator-like fashion ”That you run a bar with a fucking potato?! Vinny released another bout of obnoxious laughter at his own weak joke.

”Okay, for real though” Vinny clapped his hands to let Biff know that he meant business ”It’s about fucking time that you let me try some of your brew, eh?” Before giving the larger Blackrust a chance to refuse, Vinny plopped his ass down on an empty barstool, hands folded nicely on the counter as he waited to be served.

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#8
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Yeah, that's right, Vinny,, he was a mystery. He had no doubt that fuckin' all of his patrons wondered where this spectacular dude had come from and why he chose their dinky little town to set up shop in. But he'd never tell; he didn't care enough to spill his history. He gave an amused huff as he was correct in his prediction - the other Blackrust did start to protest about the wolves - but his tune changed when he told him who it was that Biff was working with.


"Har, mothercuckin' har," he said, rolling his eyes at Vinny's idiotic comment - although he couldn't (didn't even want to) conceal his grin. Spud did have a pretty stupid fucking name. Although the irony was not entirely lost on him that the ones who were making fun of his friend's name were two dogs named 'Biff' and 'Vinny'.


"Oh, you think you can just sit down and I'll serve ya, huh?" he asked snidely, leaning in close to the other with his hands on his hips and giving him a near-evil sneer. The sneer quickly quirked upwards, however, and he gave the other yet another hearty slap on the back and barked out a laugh. "Man, you're god damn lucky I'm the most generous guy you know." He gave Vinny another sneer and a wink before disappearing into the back room to fetch some booze.


He rifled through the stores, eventually pulling out a jug of rough moonshine that he and Spud had made earlier in the month. He took a quick whiff - it wasn't atrocious - and brought it out, opting to slide behind the counter rather than join Vinny at the bar stools. He scrounged up some dusty old cups and poured them both a drink, sliding Vinny's over (not without some spillage).


"Bone appetit, fuckhead," he said, opening his maw in laughter and allowing the drink to chase it down.


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#9
Vinny

Vinny’s fingers drummed impatiently on the wooden grain of the bar surface, his irritation growing with every passing second. At Biff’s derisive snort, Vinny turned around to fix Biff with a stare that said Hell yes, I expect you to serve me, you heathen! ”C’mon man, does blood mean nothin’ to ya?” Vinny whined, crossing his arms across his chest in a huff. He would be damned if his own cousin made him pay for drinks in his own joint. Where was the man’s sense of loyalty? However Biff’s sneer turned upwards and he gave Vinny another hearty slap on the back - in the same fucking spot too - before disappearing around the back. ”It’s not polite to keep a customer waiting!” Vinny called after him, rubbing the sore pot on his back.

At least, he assumed that Biff was fetching a drink for him. Sure enough, after a few moments of pandering around, Biff reappeared with a jug of clear booze. Vinny watched skeptically as his cousin poured two drinks in glasses of questionable cleanliness before sliding one over. Vinny caught it before the glass slid over the edge. Man, he could only imagine how many glasses Biff and his buddy - this Spud - managed to shatter this way. The Blackrust gave an experimental whiff of the stuff, nares flaring. It was Moonshine for sure, but of the quality Vinny wasn’t sure. Well, there was only one way to find out. The tri colored male went for it, downing the entire glass in one go.

Biggest. Fucking. Mistake. Vinny coughed, a combination of booze and spittle spewing across the bar. ”Holy- Vinny wheezed, clutching his chest as if he was suffering a coronary. Which he might as well have been. ”Holy SHIT!” Vinny choked out, tears springing to his eyes. This was the most foul, rank, disgusting thing he had ever put in his mouth - and that was saying a lot. It was as if he had drank liquid fire combined with the foul stuff his mother made him swallow as a pup whenever he was sick.

”You tryna’ kill people with this, you crazy psycho?!” Vinny wheezed, clawing at the air. Maybe, just maybe, he was beginning to see a light. Oh god is this the end? ”Do you actually make people pay for this shit?!”

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#10
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He swallowed the moonshine and it burned even his throat, so he stared expectantly at his cousin, a grin plastered on his face. How would the kid handle it, he wondered? He didn't have to wonder for long - Vinny gave a loud exclamation and coughed, sputtered, spewed booze all across the counter. Biff was too busy laughing to even pretend to be mad.


"HAHAHA, OH man," he cried, banging his fist on the counter as Vinny continued to spit and curse. "Oh - oohoohoo!" His laughter continued, but eventually it died down, and he wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. He served Vinny a shit-eating grin, brows raised to the ceiling.


"Wow," he said, taking another calm sip of his own drink and swallowing it without fanfare. "I forgot how fuckin' weak you are, man! Ha!" He sniffed, gestured around to the bar where other patrons drank without dramatics (although they probably hadn't been served from the same keg that Vinny had been).


"See? You gotta toughen up if you're gonna make it 'round here, huh, Vinster? Skinny Vinny?" He reached over the bar to attempt to jab Vinny in the side with a pointed hand, snorting as he did so. Hahaha, what a wimp, just like always.


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#11
Vinny

Well, the tasting of Biff’s moonshine resulted in alcohol and dog spittle being spewed all over Biff’s precious counter, yet his cousin was too busy laughing his balls off as Vinny choked and sputtered to raise a complaint. And it was doubtful that Biff would even remember to wipe down the wooden surface by the night’s end. But this disgusting little tidbit was the last thing on the tri colored male’s mind as he gasped for air - oh god, some of it went down the wrong pipe - and further humiliated himself in front of the patrons (Biff was accustomed to Vinny’s idiotic behavior).

”Jesus…” Vinny wheezed, glaring at Biff through the side of his gaze as he regained his composure ”Fat lot of good you were! I coulda’ died, ya know!” The Blackrust could only give a groan as his cousin sipped his own drink with no dramatics. Of course Biff can drink this shit, he’s got as many taste buds as he has brain cells! Vinny thought to himself dryly in response.

”Weak? Weak?! Vinny blustered, swatting at Biff’s hand as he attempted to poke him in his pooch. Of course, his cousin still managed to find a way to jab his side. ”Naw, I could survive in this place, no problem! Boston streets were a lot tougher than this!” At this, Vinny flapped his hands in the general direction of the bar’s door.

”An’ guess what? I rather like it here!” Vinny continued, eyes flashing. This of course, was a blatant lie. It was colder, more cloudy, and depressing that Boston ever was. Not to mention that this place was practically crawling with wolves and coyotes! ”Not gonna fuckin’ run with the wolves like Brandy though…” Damn, he really didn’t think his travel plans through.

”So...maybe I’ll just stay here with you!” Vinny finished his raving, drawing in a deep breath. ”And Skinny Vinny, man? Really? Just..fuck you.” Vinny muttered, god forbid that he miss on that important tangent.

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