[P] A mentor lives forever
Rows of houses - Sound asleep - Only street lights - Notice me

For Guin - Prompt: "He seeks a quiet soul who needs to be heard."

Although Jonas had long died and left Casa, parts of his memory would always remain in and beyond the walls of the Fort. Held within the memories of others, those who knew the solemn man, who knew his tender heart that he hid well behind a fearless face and stern attitude. Many would remember his cooking or his involvement in protecting the pack. But there was one fortunate enough to know Jonas as more than just a humble baker or warrior, but as a teacher and guide. 

Jonas would never forget the opportunity he'd been given to train young Guinevere, seeing so much inspiration in her eyes and her desire to protect her home. As his spirit searched for places to heal, it lingered most around the two who meant the most to the long gone Coblentz. But where Jonas did not see reason to appear before his brother Isaac, he could feel the pull of turmoil urging him to seek out his once-student now knight of Casa. 

In her own home he sought her out, the old spirit waiting until only one presence was left within the walls before moving closer within. He looked for the one he captured in memory; the young princess of Casa with hope and dreams in her eyes. But before him now was a woman, a knight, who had known enough hardships to have pierced the veil of innocent ambition. Her soul seemed far more troubled than Jonas remembered, and so the spirit was urged into action, he would always be Guin's mentor. Death would have no sway over that. 

"Where is your voice, Guinevere." Jonas's detatched voice whispered, his appearing lingering only as glimmering yellow eyes. "Speak to someone here who has always been willing to listen." And Guin, if she so chose, would be able to see glimpses of her old mentor flickering before her, his expression patient and caring.

OOC: Here

Soundlessly she hovered, crouched before the fire and stoking its dying coals, deep in thought and deep in turmoil. Much had happened this past year, these moons with blood and pain, loss and regret. She had not been herself, mired in her own sense of loss and grief, and so she had not been the way she should have.

She had started to come back, the first raising her voice to save her family, Luca, from being cast aside as mad and put down thus. Just as quickly though her voice had been stolen again, muzzled not by any physical construct but the inner demon that whispered to be hush.

It maddened Guin, frustrated and maddened to near the point of tears. She could feel them balancing now, teetering at the edge of falling over or hovering in place. She stabbed harder than strictly necessary at the log she had placed into the licking red and gold flames, dancing and reflecting in the icy green flint of her irises.

There was no warning, no rush of breeze nor creak of wood to hint she no longer occupied this place alone. Simply a voice, reaching across the void, stirring up memories of a past long gone, and soothing the roiling in her chest in a way she had not thought possible.

Guin stood bolt upright, her hackles bristled in surprise. "Jonas?" she asked the open air, hope quivering like a hummingbird's wing within her breast.

The warrior princess looked and searched to find the source, and he spoke again. This time she locked on, her gaze widening when they found a set of glowing gold orbs. Like a shimmering cloak of starlight, his image and his colors wavered into existence, until he stood just as tall and proud as he had in life. Sans the slight transparency that let her see the staircase through him.

"Jonas!" she rounded the couch, taking several steps in his direction. She stopped, remembering harshly that despite his presence, he was still very much a spirit, and unable to receive physical contact from her corporeal body. That, and Jonas hadn't been of the hugging type when his flesh had beat, filled with scarlet life's blood. Instead, she tried to answer his question, her eyes wet with joy instead of frustration.

"My voice?" she paused and hesitated, glancing downward to the ground. Had she been that complacent? That mired in her own darknesses, that she'd lost her strength?

"I don't know," she answered honestly, her ears folding backward. "I don't even know what my voice is anymore, except for perhaps a battlecry. A rallying song." she folded one arm to touch the necklace at her sternum, the string of her faith starting at the amulet of her adopted family's crest, attached beneath it the carved stone of Honrin's courtship, and finally the sanded gem of purple fluorite.

WC: 000
Rows of houses - Sound asleep - Only street lights - Notice me

For Guin - Prompt: "He seeks a quiet soul who needs to be heard."

Jonas had never felt a need to question his place in Casa. He didn't seek acknowledgement or rank like others, only the respect of those around him just as he aimed to respect them. He had been a quiet and humble man, willing to see his place amongst the cavaliers without actively seeking it. But even so, he had felt such pride when being granted the chance to teach a young cavalier their pack's ways. When chosen by her father to train her, Jonas had looked upon Guinevere as proof, proof that he did in fact deserve a place in Casa. Earned by years of service, to the very end of his life. 

So it pained him to see the girl he'd watch grow in such a state. His soul had never gotten the chance to see Guin grow beyond a young woman. Looking upon her now Jonas could see many signs of her trials and successes, from the purple gem signifying her steps into the Brotherhood, to the other pieces adorning her neck. As he spoke of her possible insecurities, the woman grasped at the necklaces, and the spirit huffed. 

"You were always so sure of it before." Jonas replied, not sternly in his voice as he might have done when teaching Guin, but more matter of fact. "I trained a warrior of Casa, not a quiet little soul. But..." Jonas wasn't here to nag or reprimand the poor woman for things out of her control. Nor could he truely judge:

"My own voice never carried far, only when it was needed, when I thought it was right to be heard. It is okay to be quiet, lass, but don't be silent. And don't believe you need to be silent either." Jonas explained, a ghostly hand then moving towards Guin's necklaces, unable to do much but linger close, not to touch. "You have more than earned the right to speak, never doubt that... if you still struggle, then speak your thoughts to me now, to someone who has always been willing to hear them."

OOC:: Here, have a word vomit that I somehow managed while at work. Really proud of this.lol

Jonas's presence, more than Enzo's ever could have, rocked the warrior princess to her core. Enzo she could understand appearing before her, he'd been rumored to walk these fields he'd called home for years after his physical demise. But her mentor, the man that had seen her one of the times she struggled the most amidst her parents break up, she'd never have pegged him as the kind of man to return.

Was the pack in that much turmoil?

Was she?

Guin felt a stab of guilt for causing such a disturbance, and she wanted to apologize to Jonas, for being weak, for being a burden, still needing his help and his guidance even after all this time. She snorted when he stated she'd been so sure of her own voice before, though she didn't interject just yet.

As he said, he didn't say much unless it was important, when he should be heard. She took that to heart, listening with pricked ears and a respectfully averted gaze to the floor. She may have become a woman, may have stepped up to the plate and become a member of the Brotherhood and considered an elite warrior of the pack. But Jonas would always be her beloved mentor.

"My arrogance, you mean. Before. I was sure of nothing, because everything kept shifting and changing around me, so I compensated with attitude and aloofness towards even my own adopted family. I tried to act like I knew it all so no one could see how cracked I felt." her expression turned bitter.

"There goes Guinevere Callow-Knight, confident extraurdaneuir and snark master. She's so strong to stay the the same she always is, even though her parents are apart. Even though her mentor died. Even though her first love stopped talking to her and pretended like she didn't exist. Even though her brother left to persue his own love in a different pack. Even though her parents disappeared. But she's so, so strong."

Her ghostly green eyes glittered like pale, translucent gems, bright with fevered tears that calmly pooled on her lower lashes and fell to darken her liver cheeks. Her gaze lifted to meet Jonas's, his irises also gemlike with an ethereal light of the Beyond.

"I didn't speak out back then because I knew it'd mean something. I just spoke out so my voice would be louder than the sadness and loneliness in my heart. That's the Callow way. Keep your grievances to yourself." her hands fisted at her sides, but her gaze did not drop again.

"My babies...my babies took something I didn't know I wanted. And I couldn't have them." her hands folded to cup over her abdomen, imagining her stomach being gently swollen with child. With life. And she hurt. "I lost my fire when I realized I wasn't carrying."

"And Luca....Fenris, Luca. I did not like what he was doing. I did not like his order to the Brotherhood for us to spy. It was wrong. But what if he was right? We'd been infiltrated before, several times. I couldn't discount that, even when his paranoia got worse, and worse. My own mate had a stronger will than me."

Guin's hands dropped to her sides, loosely curled and relaxed. Her expression had become sad.

"But everyone turning on him in the trial....it angered me. I was so angry. How could they turn their back on one of their own, when he needed our help the most? Our leader, whom had taken everyone here upon his shoulders, to protect and guide us, love and teach us? He would have laid down his life for anyone here, even if they'd only joined yesterday!" she wasn't shouting but her voice was intense, hard with the anger that still curdled like sour milk.

"He worked himself to the bone, worried himself to paranoia, because he knew the threat was here even if he couldn't remember! He made himself go mad trying to figure it out, to protect us! Fenris, he died while investigating a disturbance that he knew was wrong! How could they ignore that? It's a bastardizing of our way of life, our morals, the very code our Elite take an oath on! They gave up!" her lips curled with a snarl, fists clenched again, and her chest burned from within. She vibrated with her ire that she'd kept under wraps, the wrath she felt for her own packmates that had wanted to condemn Luca to die for trying to save them.

And he'd been right. Tessa may have been an innocent victim, but the Scot, the man that had died at her side, he had been in on it.

And didn't that smart most of all.

Slowly her fists unclenched, her body calmed, but the flames in her gaze did not die.

"And then he died alone for all his trouble. He died alone because the packmates he'd sworn to protect thought he was only mad, dangerous. He died thinking we were ungrateful, he died terrified that we wouldn't catch the traitors in time. Thinking that he had failed." the tears still pooled and overflowed down her face to darken her liver fur, quiet in the somber reality.

If she'd said something, would Luca still be alive? Would Tessa? Or would the Scots have gotten their way anyway, and perhaps none the wiser?

Guinevere shook her head, and a soft, watery laugh escaped her.

"You're right. I have grown tame." she murmured, one hand lifting to her pendants once again. "I can't afford to be, can I? For myself and for Casa. Not anymore."

WC:: 000
Rows of houses - Sound asleep - Only street lights - Notice me

For Guin - Prompt: "He seeks a quiet soul who needs to be heard."

Jonas listened. 

Ears of the ghost took in every word. Eyes that pierced through the void of life and death watched Guin's actions as she spoke. He saw her tears, heard the hurt in her voice. It all came out, years of turmoil from girl to woman to knight of Casa. The crumbling of family, both parents and brother lost, leaving only Guin behind. The girl left behind to try and fight the pack away from seeing her as a tragedy. Had she succeeded? Or was she just treading water to keep from drowning? Jonas almost huffed when the girl spoke of the Callow way, thinking back to her father. Alistair might have been less than perfect, but Jonas couldn't help but see a lot of the man in Guin. The good parts mostly, but some of those so called 'Callow ways' also creeping in.

The loss of children was not known to Jonas. Or was it? Some ethereal part of Jonas knew a part of his student was missing, a fundamental, natural part. Lost and leaving her heart in grief. And then with that loss still pulling at her feet as she continued to keep her head above the water, Luca died. Leaving nothing but questions and guilt in his wake. A death that screamed of failure, not the honourable death of a Cavalier Leader. And yet, fate made it happen the way it did, there would be no changing such things now. 

When Guin was finally finished speaking her thoughts, long overdue as they were, Jonas huffed. He'd not moved from his spot, standing firm as ever with his arms crossed. Addressing Guin like he was judging her most recent training fight. "Fires... fires go out all the time. Life has many ways to snuff them out. But there is always a way to light them again." Jonas tried comforting. The spirit very quickly shook his head. "Bah. I was never good with words, thouh I suppose you don't need an old spirit to stand here and tell you that everything will be alright." 

Jonas had never dealt with much misery in his own life. Only the kind of mourning shared by the pack. He didn't see his parents die, or see Isaac hurt. Jonas had led a simple life, staying strong for his pack because he'd never been hit so low. He remained that way until his death, until the forces of nature itself wisked him away. So it was hard to find words to Guin that might relight the fire. "Not even the dead know what tomorrow will bring. Perhaps it will be light, perhaps it'll be more dark. You won't know until you stand there and see it for yourself, so it's up to you to decided how you want to face it."


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