[P] Like a leaf in the wind
#1
The smell of victory, It's in the air I breathe

Nilda took in a breath as she looked at the aged wood door that stood between her and the Lune. She felt herself unable to move not because he scared her but because Maman, mama, papa, Guinevere, and so many others had looked for her. She’d caused a ruckus and while many were used to that this kind of ruckus was different. She also had so many things swimming in her head. Both ears flicked with indecision as she lifted a hand.

Ink dipped fingers curled into a light fist as she rapped on the door. “Lune Cedric.” She spoke, her voice cracked and squeaked a bit with nervousness. “Can we talk?” She asked as she slowly lowered her hand to her side. While his scent was strong here and she could have sworn she heard movement she wondered if he was in or maybe sleeping because he needed to get away from it all.

Green eyes closed for a moment as she calmed herself. She used to be so full of youth unable to sit still ready to conquer the world now she felt unstable like a leaf caught in the wind. Pack mates moving through the halls could be heard causing her to glance around. She couldn’t help it she felt like she needed to be extra careful and with Pallas trying to egg her on she could only wonder if he was there somewhere watching her. Her fingers found the fabric of the green dress mama had made her something simple but it served its purpose. She should have just asked mama or Maman to ask Cedric to meet her somewhere. Being here made her feel uncomfortable especially since she was in front of the Lunes door.

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#2
Through This Magnifying Glass - I See A Thousand Fingerprints - On The Surface Of Who I Am 

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Working in his office was not a common sight for Cedric. For one he couldn't really sit down and write anything, all the note keeping was done by Aldora or Honrin, so the Lune had little reason to sit at a desk. But he at least wanted to try and do similar things to help the daily needs of the pack, least he look like he was slacking. Not that Cedric knew what that was; the man refused breaks wherever necessary to fit in more time to work and help the pack. The stress of Nilda going missing was beginning to die down now that she'd been found, though it did little to settle the fires of frustration in Cedric's gut to have almost lost another pack member. The man was coming to terms with the fact that he couldn't protect everyone all the time, every second of each day, but it was still a struggle when Cedric just wished he could make sure none of his family saw harm. 

To avoid his mind wandering into lands of doubt, Cedric instead focused on drawing. He wasn't really the kind to delve into art, but there were some ideas arising for changes in the pack and if Cedric couldn't write notes he could at least draw things that his mind thought up. Perhaps the scribbled images would help him remember things when bringing his ideas forward to Aldora later. Though he put the pencil down when he heard a knock at the door, his gaze wondering slowly to the wooden frame as he listened to the muffled voice that carried itself through. 

Nilda. Cedric was both relieved to know she was seeking him out after the terrible events she went through, but also nervous to discover what the girl needed from the Lune. Still, he got up without hestation and opened the door quick to not let Nilda linger outside. Cedric's face was calm, with a small smile, but he didn't gaze down to Nilda like she was delicate glass. More like a treasured family member, which was exactly what she was. The Lune nodded and moved to let Nilda through, "Of course you can, come in and find a seat." Cedric agreed.


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#3
The smell of victory, It's in the air I breathe

She was tired from how on edge she felt all the time. She felt like her family was watching her and that she herself was watching her. She half wondered if the wolves who kidnapped her were alive and watching her.

As her mind was focused on the sounds of the others moving and talking though she couldn’t tell what they said or where they were in the building. The door she knocked on opened. It didn’t open aggressively, the man who opened it didn’t speak aggressively yet she flinched. She felt herself tense her ears pin back as she looked up at him. “Hello” she chirped trying to recover from the startle that plagued her.

“Thank you.” She added as she slid herself inside the office. She felt a bit too awkward to just sit as she looked at him. “I’m sorry.” She spoke allowing herself to look at the floor. Her tri colored hair sweeping forward. “I’m sorry I caused so much ruckus and the worry. I didn’t mean to go outside the borders, I wasn’t paying attention.” She spoke as she looked back up at him with green eyes. Impulsively she reached out to him wanting to embrace him in a hug. With everything going on and with all she had been through she still felt like a small child who needed comfort.

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#4
Through This Magnifying Glass - I See A Thousand Fingerprints - On The Surface Of Who I Am 

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Cedric might find some interactions had to grasp in his head, though admittedly he'd grown used to embracing the unknown as he'd grown up. As Lune it was sort of required of him to know what to do or say all the time. But one thing he never struggled with was knowing how to show affection and kindness in ways that they were needed. He could offer comfort and protection, or reassurance and encouragement to lift spirits. He had a calling to help others after all, and a heart big enough to take on every single worry of every single member in his pack. Nilda was no exception, Cedric aimed to be whatever the girl needed him to be right now. 

Letting her in, Cedric stood with patience as Nilda spoke. He absorbed her apology, not aiming to brush it aside and make it feel unnecessary, and nodded his head. Nilda explained her need to apologise and followed it by a clear calling for comfort. Something Cedric quickly answered to. He didn't hug often, but perhaps that made the act special, for the Lune offered gentle and warm hugs. 

In the quiet moment of comfort, Cedric let out a slow breath and thought of an idea that might help. A story for Nilda so she might not feel so alone. "I want to tell you something Nilda." Cedric announced, leaving the hug so he could sit and begin the story. A hand lifted and brushed the scars along his cheek, "Did you know, I got these scars when I was your age?" He asked, though already knowing the answer. Cedric smiled softly and explained himself. "I was looking for adventure, a need to be on my own and prove myself. Isaac took me to a place near here, ruins, to look around. I went off alone to explore, since it was clear I wanted to do so, and not long after that I was attacked." Remembering the giant of a man, dark like a shadow, still brought a bad feeling to Cedric's stomach, even if now he was old and strong enough to know he'd never fall victim again. "The stranger attacked me, aiming to kill, and scarred me. I only escaped thanks to Isaac's help but... I always thought about how things could have gone differently, how I could have put Isaac's life at risk in the fight." The help from the old butcher that day was what sparked Cedric's respect for the man, something remaining strong to this day. 

"For a long time I hated the scars, they reminded me of what happened and made me feel weak, weak for getting caught. But I eventually learnt something... Nothing that happened that day was my fault. Perhaps I took a risk that I could have avoided, but I wasn't to know what was going to happen to stop myself. I was not at fault. You are not at fault. The ones to blame are those who tried to take hold of our actions and do wicked and awful things with them."


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#5
Nilda felt small in the large world, she felt like she had so much to be sorry for. Here though before her Lune she didn’t feel like a failure she felt at ease. His embrace warmed her damaged soul. Though it was short and she felt as though she had over stepped he was there to bring her back up.

He seated himself and she too sat not wanting to seem rude or out of place. His voice spoke like a father, he was but in a way he may have been like a father figure to all the youth in the pack. Guinevere told her many stories of the youthful man. She looked at his scars as he touched them. His story unfolded and the green eyed girl looked at him. “But I left the pack lands, Maman warned me it wasn’t safe. He was so large, he was so scary.” She shifted in her seat as she ran her hand over her arm.

“Why are they like that? I wasn’t the only one there they’d taken someone else. He’s older than me but not as strong as them. They broke his leg, in front of me. They hurt him, and he on purpose put himself between them and me.” She spoke. “He was so brave and I .. I’m scared to fight again.” Her heart thudding in her chest. “I’ve been watching the others sparring and the sounds of the swords clashing makes me feel uneasy. Seeing someone knocked over scared me. No one here would hurt anyone. I’ll never fight again I’m…” she took a deep breath as she looked at him, green eyes glossy as she tried to calm herself. “I’m so scared.” Her voice broke into a small whine as she looked at him. “How am I supposed to protect my home if I can’t even spar a pack mate?” She asked.
#6
Through This Magnifying Glass - I See A Thousand Fingerprints - On The Surface Of Who I Am 

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Chastising a child for their mistakes was never something Cedric could bring himself to do. He was not an angry man, evident by how patient the Lune remained even during times of distress, so naturally Cedric found the idea of repremanding someone for their decisions was just pointless. True, Nilda shouldn't have left Casa's lands, especially after warned by her mother, but she probably had a reason to do so. Maybe not a good reason, but the girl still made that decision herself and had discovered the consequences. Now, in wake of that horror, she had to deal with the consequences, which was something Cedric knew she didn't have to do alone. If her pack couldn't help stop the crisis, they could at least help her heal from it. That was something Cedric had learnt through the years. 

So he offered a small smile, no hint of disappointment on his face. "You made a mistake, we all make those Nilda, even your mother has her share of things she wishes she never did. I do as well, I've done many things I wished I could take back. But we shouldn't focus on those... all the mistakes we make... we learn from them instead, rather than try to forget they ever happened." The Lune explained. 

His heart hurt as Nilda spoke of the trauma; the fear of fighting, feeling weak and useless. Cedric rose from his chair to sit next to Nilda as a comforting presence, keeping his breathing steady and calm to help ground the girl. "When you look around Casa, I'm sure you see all us adults training, working hard, looking so focused and strong. I thought that too when I was young, I thought everyone was just... fearless, so I made sure I was never scared." Cedric admitted. "But it isn't true... we all feel scared. And that's okay. We all feel fear sometimes, fear for our lives, our family, fear of our weaknesses... I know we Cavaliers claim to be fearless warriors and knights of honour, but that kind of strength doesn't come from us on our own. We find our strength in each other, we share our fears and worries with each other, because we know that no matter what happens we have our family to support us." 

For years Cedric had struggled with that himself; trying to shoulder all his burdens alone. It was still an issue, but one the Lune was working on, something he was finally beginning to feel change him. 

"You have our support Nilda, whatever you choose to do. Even if you need help to fight again, or if you never want to fight again, you'll still have our love and care."


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