Depression and Anxiety

How do you keep yourself level headed?

POSTED: Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:05 am

Over the years, depression has always been a constant in my life. From a young age, I developed manic depression after being separated from both my mother and father. It grew through the years until it reached its peak in 2010 and I, unsuccessfully, turned to self harm. Many people who know me also say that they believe I have bipolar disorder and I know for a fact that I have anxiety due to a diagnosis from a professional who would not, at the time, prescribe me medication because he did not believe that it was that much of a health risk.

My reason for starting this is simple; over the course of the past two years, I've had a constant rate of picking up and dropping characters shortly after getting them. Part of this is because I either slipped into a depression and, as we all know, writing is impossible when you don't have the muse to do so. I want to know what you do to combat your depression or anxiety. Do you take medications or is there a special exercise routine you follow?
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Dread (Ron)

POSTED: Sat Sep 20, 2014 10:01 am

I've tried meds for mine before but they just made me into a zombie so I'm off meds and refuse to go back on them. But I have this awesome therapist who isn't forcing the meds thing or anything. I get regularly scheduled appointments but if stuff comes up before that time I can call up and see if any of her appointments have dropped out and go in and see her if she is free.

I found having someone to talk to has helped me, since I used to keep everything bottled inside and no one knew I was feeling off (cause I don't normally emote or talk to people anyways). Sie has really been there for me. She has been the influential part of me trying to turn things around. She has made suggestions to help ease the things that bother me (I'm still turkin it Sie).

I also have another friend whom I talk to on a daily basis. I was able to go see her and spend some time with her (as she lives in Michigan and I don't) and so it really helped me to get away and be someplace new. We always had something to go out and do rather than me sitting around and staying shut up and away from everyone.

I still have spells, and I think I might always will, as it is easy for me to slip into negative head space. I can't handle rejection at all. And it is not that I'm really upset about the rejection itself but because I must have done something to screw everything up, or so my brain tells me. I don't get angry and upset with others but at myself. I do the whole self-blame thing since that is how I grew up. When I was a kid, and for 16 straight years, no matter what happened and how out of control it was it was my fault. So I slip into that head space continually. I still have this well, fear, of people. Not of the actual people really but that I will do or say something to turn everyone against me and hate me, that is the exact reason I don't socialize is because I believe as soon as I open my mouth I will be hated.

Some of the random gifts I have gotten ending up coinciding with some of my spells, not that this was planned or anything, and so it helped just knowing someone cared. Though I am awkward about gifts cause I feel indebted to people over them. But during those moments it is a little pick me up that I am noticed and not some nameless face in the crowd that people could care less about.

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Luperci Multiple Co-Ranks

POSTED: Sat Sep 20, 2014 10:23 am

Talking about it helps, but not just to anyone, with someone who understands and is actually listening. I find it better to talk to someone who cares about what you are going through than talking to a therapist, though I did have a really good one recently... my memory problems keep me from picking up the phone and calling again *or the anxiety of picking up the phone itself*

I try to stay out of high stress situations, and I do have to go take a breather when it gets too much for me, luckily for me my work is nice enough to let me be when I have an anxiety attack. I have actually recently gotten a cat who is an ass but he knows when I'm having depression or anxiety because he stops being an ass and cuddles right up to me and licks me, so he's a great companion animal. I have to work better on my management I know, it's hard though and doing it all alone tends to make it slightly worse.

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POSTED: Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:08 pm

i have struggled with major depression for 10+ years. depression as been one of the greatest teachers in my life. there are a few books in particular that really helped get me to where i am today- but it wasn't a quick fix. it's been a long, slow, agonizing journey, and it's not over yet, but i can feel the undercurrents of healing in my life. you may or may not find the following links useful, but they have helped me grow A LOT and i feel forever grateful to have discovered them. all of these books literally changed my life, for the better of course. for that i feel obliged to share them with people going through similar struggles. i know how fucking terrible depression is :( and sometimes everything feels utterly useless and hopeless, but let me tell you there is a world of meaning and hope out/in there just waiting for you. <3

book 1 & book 2 - these books are by the same author, and i read them back to back because i was so entranced by the ideas introduced to me. while on the verge of complete mental collapse i happened to discover book 1, or maybe it discovered me, and it gave me the strength to hope.

book 3 - this book helped me grasp the connection between depression and emotions.

book 4 - this book is like one giant eureka moment for me. for those unable or unwilling to pay for the book, she has a blog of condensed info from the book: click here to view. each and every blog entry has something to teach about the self.

fun fact: the literal meaning of depression is 'to press down'. that alone has given me much to think about/question on my journey to understand and heal from the mental disease (as in 'dis-ease').

hope this helps in some way, shape, or form whatever that may be!!

edit: almost forgot! i read this book recently in an effort to take a more active role in healing. i just started doing what the book suggests, so i can't really say much about it yet, but it's definitely helped give me more hope. :]

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POSTED: Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:27 pm

I have super terrible panic/ anxiety attacks. My best friend in life has become martial arts and working out. During martial arts in able to focus on one thing and ease my mind. I'm not sure why it puts me to ease but it does.
At home I take time out put on some music and meditate though this normally only works at home. Sometimes at work too. Though oddly enough work is relaxing to me idk why.
When I have attacks though I'm frozen. I have a hard time breathing and I like zone out. It's a very scary thing for me though no one will prescribe anything for me. Every ounce of control I have self taught myself and managed to keep it ok. Though recently with the passing of my gram they have become very hard to handle and maintain.
I'm not sure any of this was helpful.
But if you ever need someone just to talk to you can talk to me in high school I was a cutter and suffer daily with anxiety. I'm always available via pm and always online when home.
Kentaro Lykoi
They say I’m a criminal cause I walk in a different way

POSTED: Sun Sep 21, 2014 8:16 pm

Interesting you should start a thread like this, only because I was thinking about doing the very same myself.
I've also been dealing with depression and anxiety for a number of years and while I've overcome a lot of hurdles, there are a lot of things that I've only succeeding in bandaging up or tucking away. The past couple of weeks have been harder than usual for me, thanks in part to PMS and the changing seasons, and I've been struggling with memory issues, staying focused, and getting excited about the things I usually enjoy. You know, the trifecta of depression :/

No matter how bad I feel or how far down I end up, my pets always help get me through. My dogs keep me active with daily walks and my cats keep me laughing with their silly antics. All of them keep me feeling loved and remind me that I have a purpose. If you are financially stable and responsible enough, pets - being it rats, dogs, cats, rabbits, or even fish - are incredible little depression fighters.

Talking definitely helps, too, but, at least for me, it has to be with the right person. Whether from my own skewed perception or because people just really don't care, very few people truly listen to me. I swear, whenever I start talking people either seem to zone out, go on their phones, or jump the gun to start talking about themselves. To most people I don't think it matters so much, but because I grew up feeling like nothing I said mattered and nothing I enjoyed was interesting, I'm extremely sensitive to this. I think this has also been a key reason for my stupid social anxiety. Sadly, I had a really horrible experience with a therapist during a huge transition period in my life (basically she said my being concerned about hurting or upsetting others and therefore keeping things/thoughts/opinions to myself was offensive and it was wrong of me to do so) so I've never felt comfortable speaking with them since. But they've done great things for many people I know so I would never not recommend them.

Meds can help, and I take venlafaxine HCl myself, but I think it's important to do your research and make sure you're working with someone you trust and who understands what your expectations are. Anti-depressants, like many things, aren't immediate. It can sometimes take as long as 6 months to start feeling the effects. Meditating and practicing mindfulness have also been extremely helpful to me.

Lastly, my mom had a catchphrase: "This, too, shall pass." And she's always been right. In one way or another everything rotten clears up and it's always gotten better again, so I try to remain optimistic because I know that this, too, shall pass.

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POSTED: Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:58 pm

I have OCD (Pure O, specifically); when I didn't take medicine, it caused quite a bit of my anxiety and depression. Once I started taking medicine for it, things got a lot better. The instrusive thoughts are still there, but they don't bother me anymore.

I also tend to get obsessed over mistakes or grammar or How To Write The Perfect Post - I feel really bad when I've written a post I feel is shitty, so I tend to take more time on them and it makes it hard to write. The medicine doesn't help with that, unfortunately, but I've more or less accepted this because my Pure-O thoughts are much worse and it's more important that those are fixed. Sometimes I force myself to write awful posts because I know I'm not going to get it done otherwise.

My anxiety largely comes from my inability to read social cues (although I've gotten better), so after a conversation with someone I'm not familiar with, I will anayzle everything about it and try to determine how well I did. Sometimes I end up making myself panic for no reason at all. The other things that cause are fairly predictable things that I can avoid, so I usually just avoid them. Excersize sometimes help with anxiety, but unfortunately where I live isn't a good place to go walking unless I drove somewhere - and I don't like driving when I'm anxious.

My depression is less predictable. Sometimes I know what will cause it (and therefore, can sometimes avoid it) but then suddenly I will be hit by a wave of it for no apparent reason. During those times, I usually isolate myself and write it out. I don't mean in the diary way; I mean in fiction. I write a lot of stupid fluff when I'm upset. If it's not pure fluff, it will be something that although it starts bad (horror story), it gets better as the story goes on. I've never finished anything, but it usually works better than anything else.

I absolutely hate talking to people about any of my problems. Usually it just makes them upset, which makes me feel bad for mentioning it, and then they start making suggestions to fix and that's not really what I want. It's also hard to talk when I'm upset.

The exception to this is my therapist. I usually think about my problem a lot before a session (I will probably be obsessed with it anyway because OCD), and then write it down and give her what I've written. It makes things a lot less confusing for both of us.

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