Re: [M] Open Letters

POSTED: Sun Jun 18, 2017 5:51 pm

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

You selfish prick. You utterly selfish asshole. Yeah, you hurt right now. Yeah, your life sucks right now, but it's something you can get over and move past. Millions of people deal with pain, loneliness, heartbreak, illness and more on a daily basis. You fucked your own life up. You fucked your relationship up by being a lazy, do nothing piece of shit. You are a difficult man to live with, there are no doubts about that. You do nothing, offer nothing, contribute nothing. You are a burden to those that love you, but we love you and care for you. We have taken you in when you had nowhere else to go. We have fed you, we have bought you your expensive meds, we have lent you the use of our home. We have done everything within our power and financial ability to help you out. We are living hand to mouth because of you... And this is how you repay us?

The first suicide attempt was bad enough, three days before your sons fucking birthday! The son that has done nothing but care for you and love you. The son that has put you up in his home. THE SON THAT HAS FUCKED UP HIS OWN DELICATE MENTAL HEALTH TO FUCKING PUT YOU FIRST! YOU FUCKING PROMISED! Now to lie to his face, to promise that you'll come back, that you're only going to clear your head... Fucking asshole. Festering pustule. Puke breathed alcoholic deadweight.

I am done. I have no tears left for you. I cried them all the first time you disappeared. Now I'm just angry. I am fucking furious. I can't drive out in the middle of the fucking night to get you again. I can't have a sleepless night once we get back, making sure that your son, the love of my fucking life, doesn't have night terrors because of what you did. I can't put the burden of you on anyone else but us because that's too much to ask. Too big a debt to repay. You are nothing but a self-centered, manipulative, conniving bastard. You shame us. You disappoint me. I don't care how nasty or harsh I sound right now because all charity and good thought has gone. Now there is just bitterness. If you do come back then I don't want you under my roof anymore. I cannot handle this shit. It is not fair to us.

Fuck you. Fuck you and all the damage you're doing. We made progress. He was happy. We were happy. And then you... Just fuck you.


please come home. For him.

POSTED: Mon Jun 19, 2017 8:28 am

The last couple months (vacation more or less excluded) have been hellish, and today is day one of a mostly empty summer.

I am so excited to get posting and gaming again. Ugh.
Adopt one of Dove's traumatized happy-flower-siblings: Mint, Gust, and River!
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POSTED: Mon Jun 19, 2017 10:05 am

@ Djiac -hugs hugs hugs-

@Lin - you wanna share that free time pls?



I am down 23.5 lbs so far. I have not been so light since sophomore year of collage. I mean, I have about 56.5 to go to an ultimate goal weight (lower than I have ever been since weighing myself regularly). I want to hit that high school weight of 145-150 and just smugly laugh as I try to go even lower. I was tired of wearing men's xl shirts and size 16, borderline 18. Now all these 16s are starting to get looser and men's l are now slowly getting looser. I never wore the xl's for stomach fat (didn't help) but boob mass, and now I swim in these xl's.

You guys have no idea how cathartic this is; all this weight is emotions from a broken relationship that i did not want to put effort in to lose. Now I have will power and motivation. I am not doing this for the boy, the wonderful boy that he is, because I refuse to ever do something for myself in someone else's name. But the perks are decidedly wonderful as things improve and I slowly start to feel less and less like the thin guy's fat girlfriend.
SILVANO SADIRA




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POSTED: Mon Jun 19, 2017 10:52 am

^ good job genface! <3

*teeth-gnashing*
it's hot
i'm grumpy
humans are stupid
my mum's dog escaped this morning and i spent an hour walking around before i found her
i have to do sustained exercise on wednesday and i'm already dreading the pain i will be in
just no. today is not the one.
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POSTED: Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:02 pm

Silvano Sadira wrote:@Lin - you wanna share that free time pls?


I would but then I decided to move apartments so NEVERMIND 8I
Adopt one of Dove's traumatized happy-flower-siblings: Mint, Gust, and River!
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Lin
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smoke and mirrors
BAPTISM BY FIRE

POSTED: Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:16 pm

Dove Reverie wrote:
Silvano Sadira wrote:@Lin - you wanna share that free time pls?


I would but then I decided to move apartments so NEVERMIND 8I


SUFFER WITH ME
SILVANO SADIRA




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POSTED: Tue Jun 20, 2017 5:31 pm

Maybe being forced to stand in the salon and work bc I'm the only person here otherwise will convince the managers to hire more people :')

Tonight sucks but somehow I'm calm.

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POSTED: Tue Jun 20, 2017 6:21 pm

Bleh.
how deep into the ground can one man dig a hole?
all your dreams of fame and fortune are all just nightmares haunting you
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POSTED: Tue Jun 20, 2017 9:13 pm

Vesper wrote:Maybe being forced to stand in the salon and work bc I'm the only person here otherwise will convince the managers to hire more people :')

Tonight sucks but somehow I'm calm.

Lol one of your best groomers is quitting sucks to be us

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POSTED: Tue Jun 20, 2017 9:49 pm

I don't think it's fair of you to just wander back into my life. I spent six or seven months getting myself back together and picking up the pieces after being devastated by the loss of both your friendship and the love I had for you. Now you expect to message me and for things to be perfectly content and back to the way they used to be. You're soon going to be gone and in another continent/country. I'll be left here again on the opposite side of the world. It's not fair, especially because my feelings just came rushing all back to me at once and I don't know how to feel about it but confused and angry at the same time. I'm just going to hug Athena and try and last through the night.
Anita "Fang" Espinoza


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