Re: [M] Open Letters

POSTED: Sat Mar 10, 2018 9:25 pm

Dear Mother,

I really don't understand why a B is bad and how you think I can always score a fucking A on everything. I AM NOT MY COUSINS SO STOP COMPARING ME TO THEM. How would you feel if I compared their mother to you? I'm really sick of stressing over B's and my grades are spiraling because I'm trying to push myself in classes to score straight A's but I miss out on other subjects. I even hid my progress report from you because I was terrified of you finding out and I'm hoping I can intercept my 3rd quarter grades before you make my life a fucking hell.

Also, why do you need me to go everywhere with you? I have grades to upkeep and possibly going to two stores is not helpful. You have gone shopping by yourself and managed well, though you hate it when I don't go with you? And I get in trouble for not going with you, even when I stay home for homework.

And can you please stop asking everyone and keep bringing up ADHD and phone use? You're always asking any professional about it and can you just shut up about it. And oh, QUIT IT ABOUT MY PHONE. You've got a lot to say about despite spending most of your time on Candy Crush and Word Cooking instead of doing your taxes.

We're at eachothers throats now and you've been petty enough to leave me with an ingrown toenail for roughly 2 months and you still don't have a podiatrist.

- Silverfrost

Dear medicine,

Can you stop the blood coming from my uterus like you are supposed to? And not make me sick as hell? Is that too much to ask for?

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Somebody make me feel alive
The queen of a wretched design
I walk through the fire

POSTED: Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:06 pm

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

signature image by Lin
Cour des Miracles
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POSTED: Wed Mar 14, 2018 6:51 pm

[resume editing intensifies]
whose eyes you gonna use?
Sanctus Apprentice
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lost in the static

POSTED: Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:01 pm

Dear Souls,

To put it as a British-man naturally does in a manner of understatement; have been a touch slow with the writing which I do apologise for, and been a little low regarding moods, questioning my value here.

Tis been repeatedly suggested I take a break, hadn't wanted to as I'd perhaps not return.

Appropriately; actually heading out of the country and will not have access to the interwebs, so it will be an enforced break from Souls, from this thursday until the next, so for anybody writing with me, if you could make our threads Do Not Delete, I will appreciate that a lot, thank you, and will endeavor to try and post as soon as I return from a sunny place.

With affection, DT.
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POSTED: Thu Mar 15, 2018 8:58 pm

I still don't understand why my mom is freaking out over an F for just one assignment. She thinks it's the phone again, which is basically her answer for everything. And she keeps hounding on me as to why I didn't know sooner but I just got it back today and it's not like I can change anything since A, I don't even know who graded it and b, it's not like the end of the fucking world.

Also, she keeps saying that I'll be sorry if in any of my core classes I get a B. Well it's going to take a fucking miracle to get my geometry grade from a C to an A. And what part of "Quarter grades don't matter, only your final grades do". And she thinks that it's going to ruin her? She's not the one working her ass off for these grades and this won't affect her future!

And I keep telling her that I'm trying, and I do try to get good grades. And should that be enough for her? That I'm trying my best with all the shit that goes on in my life? To her, the only evidence that I tried is an A. I seriously regret all of those A's I got in middle school, especially in 6th grade because now she expects that from me. But in 6th grade, the stress got to me so badly that I began to self-harm. I got better since then but I guess the price of my mental health cost me those straight A's.

I wish she would understand

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Somebody make me feel alive
The queen of a wretched design
I walk through the fire

POSTED: Fri Mar 16, 2018 9:22 am

all the colors mix together to gray
Cour des Miracles
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Luperci Chaos Star
smoke and mirrors

POSTED: Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:07 pm

I bet my body would rot for a year before someone even thought about me.
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POSTED: Fri Mar 16, 2018 5:30 pm


I am not your maid. You are living RENT FREE and BILLS FREE in MY flat. If your social worker is coming around YOU can make her a damn coffee. I am not gonna specifically haul my tired, insomnia riddled ass out of bed just to make a damn cup of coffee.

Thanks much,

The 27 year old woman who just taught a 53 year old man how to make a damn cup of instant coffee.


POSTED: Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:42 pm

i feel just a well of hopelessness inside of me these days. it's seems that wherever i look, things won't get better, they'll only get worse. good, honestly good people are getting gunned down and beaten up by coward politicians, everything is crumbling down into ruin and the only path i see is chaotic at best, disastrous at worse. i look around me and i can feel myself stagnate, and i don't know how to find my way forward. the people who were supposed to help and support me only add more fuel to my fears and worries, or worse, dismiss them entirely. and now i'm supposed to figure out how to save my mentally ill aunt who is slowly withering away beyond my reach, like i'm the experienced adult with all the answers for everything. fuck, i can't even write a few lines of a resume without turning into a jittery, sobbing mess. i have to keep a lid on any and all emotional responses, because otherwise i'm the selfish bitch who doesn't want to help my family. nevermind that they supported the fucking bastards in power right now, and they stared me right in the eye and said i was an alienated idiot for having a single ounce of empathy for my fellow human being, and wanting to choose the lesser evil. they were the ones who only come to me when they want something from me, act like garbage around me, and suddenly its my fault for having some standards and not wanting to deal with their shit. i have waaay too much shit to deal with this year, internship, my bachelor thesis, getting a decent job, starting to work towards my future, bleak as it may be. and you all wanna drag me down with emotional blackmail and demanding shit i simply. cannot. afford. to give to you. and you know the worst part? i do feel bad for being a shitty daughter and family member that doesn't keep contact, i do feel bad for putting myself first, i do feel bad for being so powerless about every single aspect of my life. and i can't stand it. any of it.
Tzila Napier
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woman king

POSTED: Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:34 pm

On top of all the bullshit happening in and around my work, I found out that my boss has been actively trying to replace me. He's hired 7 people in an effort to replace me and he can't, probably because I'm one of the only people who has the most open schedule possible short of being available 24/7.

The best part? He told another employee that he doesn't like me because he doesn't like the rest of my family for something that happened 15 years ago. 15 YEARS AGO. The man is almost 30 and he is pissed at my family because he was punished for putting my brother in a neck brace because of HIS lack of awareness, not my brother's. Not only this, but I am not my family. Hate me because of my own personality, fine, but don't fucking judge me on shit that I was never even involved in.

You're a shit boss and pretty much all of your employees hate you and think you're a giant crybaby. I'm emailing our district manager soon (he was the guy who hired me in the first place) in an effort to try and get this straightened out. I don't want to have to look for another job, but I might have to try doing it sooner, even if I like a lot of the people I work with.
Commissions are on hold for right now until I can free up my schedule a little more to work on them. PM this account or message me on Discord if you're interested, but keep in mind that they may take a while!
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