sweet hour of prayer

POSTED: Thu Jan 30, 2014 9:25 am

She had nothing to offer the gods.

Farina came to the realization only after she had made the trek to the Sacred Grove from her den outside Jordheim, through cold and slush and wind. She had nothing to offer, not even a wholehearted belief in their existence, not even a prayer trained to be graceful and modest when slipped from the tongue. No, even in holy space as this Farina could not quite fit, a smudge of coal against clean sheets of white winter.

She felt clunky, uncomfortable. Alone, maybe, but that did not matter. Miskunn must have recognized the Haki's discomfort and quiet despair, but as Farina had come to expect the Godja maintained silence and distance. She was not unsympathetic, not in the least, but outside a greeting Miskunn must have returned to her work knowing perhaps she was not best to consult Farina at the time.

Though, was there one more suited? The wolfdog felt neither social nor in her right mind, questioning why she had come to the Grove as if it had been forgotten en route. Was it stress of her mother and the new pups, all of whom she had yet to meet — and refused? Was it stress of Niernan acting as an unwanted father, or stress of Florina still in self-exile? Frustrations that with her one remaining sister, Fiora, their relationship remained rocky and awkward?

The gods might have been able to help. Vinátta did not press her to believe in their religion or in any at all, yet neither did she disbelieve, and what remained was but a discouraged shell housing indecision and worry.

Farina relished her independence, but in that moment, knowing her distance from all who might have treasured her... she realized perhaps she might have cursed herself instead.

So she sat beneath the white walnut tree, limbs pressed tight and crossed across her body, shivering and stubborn in the cold. If nothing else, she would spend her time in the peace and quiet trying to sort her troubles through alone.

Last edited by Farina vin Haki on Fri Jan 31, 2014 4:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Lin
Luperci Falconer + Diplomat
OCTARINA OF TIME

POSTED: Thu Jan 30, 2014 10:39 am

this is what Anu does besssst. hope you dont mind another thread with me :)

Her long swept habit hung from her shoulders. The brown humble rope tied around her waist to keep it was flowing around her like a fabric sea. There was need for the covering on such cold and sharp winter days. Her fur was not thin, but her layers beneath the skin certainly were.. She was far from being just skin and bones, and her features were not gnarled and twisted with age. Thick muscle and healthy fat were in short supply in the woman's age, giving her a lithe appearance. Yet her statue seemed ever-filled with grace, weightlessness despite the meek covering and her face was silvered rather then grayed and peppered with white.

The grove was her place of haunting, settled among the trees like old friends. The woman worked closely with the Godja, though on some occasions she spend the day on her own between the trees studying the runes she kept in the drawstring sack. Or she might sit beneath the great white tree and reflect. That was the type of day she decided on. Well, more like the sort of day her heart called out for.

It was quite a life to lead, being able to follow the yearning of her heart and state it's callings or qualms. The wolfess was quite grateful for it as well. She did what she could for the pack, hunting small game and helping packmates as best she could. But Anu was not a fighter, her days as a protector on the battle field were done. What she had was her family, and whom ever came to the grove looking for company.

Blue eyes watched the dark form of the large canine from around the base of the great tree. It seemed that perhaps she did not notice the small wolfess sitting among the roots on the other side of Horgr and the trunk of the walnut. Anu had not seen her in the grove before, and it did not seem like she was there to pray. The woman rose and took a few steps so that she no longer hid behind the tree. Looking at the female who sat among the roots, she smiled softly. Greetings, dear. her tone was soft and filled with the warmth that the air lacked.

Anu

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Alli
Luperci Someone loves you! a fair golden Sun brought life to my soul
The sun is but...
a morning star.

ashes and wine
burn out brighter

POSTED: Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:30 pm

Farina jumped and visibly so, as if shaken from a meditation she would have allowed Anu to believe. Though her mind might be led astray by distracting thoughts Farina was no devout, and within her were no calls to prayer or holiness. The wolfdog was a black and brutish monster, and at the glance of any stranger not at all a picture of grace and humility religious folk would boast. Religious folk, and faces like this one.

Anu. Of course she was recognized, but how long was the elder present? Though a sheepish and almost ashamed smile spread on the coal Hollr's face she inwardly cursed herself, yet again, for such humilitating stunt as this. She knew nothing about the mothers of Carya and her siblings; likely Anu more of Farina and her family than the latter. Had Farina offended? It was an accident, a mistaken trespass and nothing more!

"Oh, Anu, please don't think I was ignoring you," Farina lamented, rising quickly to her feet if nothing but for sheer respect. "I didn't see you there, I swear. My head's all jumbled up, I've been so tired lately, I just..."

She took a breath. "Sorry, sorry. Look, if I was intruding, I can go. I didn't mean to."


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Lin
Luperci Falconer + Diplomat
OCTARINA OF TIME

POSTED: Fri Jan 31, 2014 10:18 am

:D

Despite the stature of the dark fey, rising to her full height Anu only followed her dark eyes. Unwavering. The woman was still, taking the large girl’s response in with little more then a soft smile and a few soft kind words. The grove is open to all Vináttas. Apologies are not needed. The woman paused, but then continued with her flowing thoughts, If you wish for silence, then this is a good place to think. I only want to say hello, in the chance that you did not want to be alone. For they did not have to alone in their thoughts. Nor alone in their troubles. There was always someone there to listen, and to lean on. Even when they thought the notion of companionship an impossible one, someone could always be found.

And if Farina was as jumbled as she confessed then there was no better way to become straight in mind and heart then to release the burden. When Anu first came to Vinátta she might not have wanted to stand and council the offspring of Colibri Haki. The weight of that burden too great for her lithe shoulders. But time had healed those wounds, the pain of loosing her pack and then living among someone that had hurt her so deeply were just memories. And so the child of her once (a lifetime ago) love was no longer -that-, it was the youth and the future of her pack that she cared for now.

Anu

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Alli
Luperci Someone loves you! a fair golden Sun brought life to my soul
The sun is but...
a morning star.

ashes and wine
burn out brighter

POSTED: Mon Feb 03, 2014 10:35 am

Farina supposed how few things would faze a woman of advanced age such as Anu or Tayui, though admittedly the two women were not decrepit or old in any way. Farina could only wonder if Anu had always been so benevolent in nature or if it was a summation of a life either hard or easy, a result of many patient lessons learned. She thought of Carya, how she resembled Tayui in appearance yet Anu in peaceful and understanding personality, and silently scorned herself knowing she did not—and would not—resemble Colibri in any way.

Farina knew nothing of her mother's background with Anu; the older women was but a packmate, a source of wisdom and a mother of her childhood friends. The wolfdog need not hesitate, though hesitate she did and visibly so. For one so large and built like a wall as she it was difficult not to notice the tiny cracks splitting within the concrete, the sideways stare, the stilled and half-masted tail.

"I thought I did," she said, eyes hovering on the Eljun before turning to the white walnut tree in pause for consideration. "Anu, if you don't mind me asking... How can someone be sure that some gods are even listening?"


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Lin
Luperci Falconer + Diplomat
OCTARINA OF TIME

POSTED: Mon Feb 10, 2014 1:33 pm

Anu waited with learned patience. One younger might have wondrous thoughts, probing into the other’s sealed mind and reading their expression for any hint to what they might be thinking. The woman did not place her energy on such things, not when the answer would come in it’s own time. Allowing things to come with a pace that she could not control was another attribute that had developed over years of pack life and leadership.

Ears caught the dark girl’s words and they poised for more. No, many of them did not seek to be alone. Even if their heads told them they wished for solitude their heart generally spoke of companionship.

Her question was not a strange one, and one that Anu had been asked before. Yet it was hard to answer, for the answer was usually not what one wanted to hear. It was not always quite as comforting as a defined ‘yes or ‘no’. But the gods were not defined beings. It is not so simple, nor so black and white as we might want. Anu replied, the beginning of something bigger.

She settled down among the roots, finding a familiar and comfortable place in just a moment’s time. Her gaze was and unspoken invitation for the Hollr to do the same. I think that is because it is centered in faith, and not something we can see or touch. Believing is the only thing makes us sure. I am certain that they are listening, because I believe that they are here and close to me. She explained, the ideas were made less jarring and the truth easier in her gentle voice.

Anu

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Alli
Luperci Someone loves you! a fair golden Sun brought life to my soul
The sun is but...
a morning star.

ashes and wine
burn out brighter

POSTED: Tue Feb 11, 2014 10:22 am

Farina could not understand how the faith of this woman had not been shaken by the events endured by Carya. From what the wolfdog was told, the Aston had been left to die after a number of days absent. What reasoning could Anu have had for the gods' silence all the while? Would she insist it was their guiding hands that brought Carya back—but what reason had the deities for inaction in the first place?

The Hollr regarded her words perplexed, fretting and with wandering gaze, and such a stare insisted even as Farina settled down among the roots alongside her friend. What she explained was a concept abstract for Farina to grasp in full, not for a lower intelligence but a wider perspective than she was so accustomed. For the vin Haki, the world was very black and white — most things could be categorized in her mind as is or is not. That middle ground, to Farina, was nothing but excuses or as Anu had put it, faith.

She had never thought of it that way. "If they're there, they let people get hurt. They watch families break up and they don't do anything. How can someone have faith in figures that won't use their power for good?"


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Lin
Luperci Falconer + Diplomat
OCTARINA OF TIME

POSTED: Tue Feb 11, 2014 3:11 pm

It was the ageless question. The wonder that would never die but reborn with each youth that came into their own free thinking mind. It was hard to believe that there was someone or something looking down on them. Surrounding them with protection and love. And ‘allowing’ followers to be hurt, for their loved ones to suffer and for the world to look so dark and bleak. How could such things happen under the eyes of Thor? How could Odin not send his son to protect them? How could he not see and reach out his hand and shield them? It was surely large enough and he was surely strong enough…

The only explanation was that they did not care. Or better yet they did not exist. Or simply that there was nothing good about the world.

Farina had witnesses something that brought her those questions, hard times that made her wonder. Or hurt friends that caused her to think that no one could stand by, all mighty and powerful, and allow such good souls to be smothered.

Anu had more stories then the day was long. More memories then Farina had heartbeats. How could Anu look to the girl and not think of what her very own mother had gone through and believe that there was something better and bigger that loved them? The gods can not control the will of wolves. Anu said, rather simply. Though they are filled with things that are good and they have made things that are filled with good, it does not mean that evil will ever be absent.

She looked at the girl, they all learned of suffering and pain too early in life… Yet were they ever really ready? It will always remain. Evil would never leave their lives. Anu could not look at her youngest daughter and not see the pain that someone had afflicted on her. It would never disappear. In the gods we can find solace, we can find strength and power. We may even find some answers here that would not come outside this grove. Anu paused, thinking a moment and then added. We must be the good that happens, the gods can give us that inspiration and strength. But they will not play out our fate for us.

Anu

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Alli
Luperci Someone loves you! a fair golden Sun brought life to my soul
The sun is but...
a morning star.

ashes and wine
burn out brighter

POSTED: Thu Feb 13, 2014 8:58 am

The gods cannot control the will of the wolves.

Farina supposed it to be true; her arms were attached to no strings. She herself possessed the reasons for her decisions, and no god had dragged her kicking from her mother's den to live elsewhere, nor had they restrained her when she left for New Dawn on cause of Florina.

Florina. So her decision to leave them was all her own—Farina had always known it. But neither had the gods given said inspiration and strength to her to enable a return. It remained a helpless situation, a typically unspoken one. One that everyone must have assumed would work itself out. Everyone but Farina, or so she felt.

But the wolfdog did not hear the gods talk, nor did she feel an inspiration that did not seem to conjure within her own chest. She never experienced the tug of some unworldly power, of some force she could not explain in simple words. Everything was black and white; she fought with doubts, but her own logic saw a decision made.

What Anu said made sense, and yet... "I understand," Farina said, "but I've never felt a thing. Would they neglect someone who never believed?"

Then she shook her head almost as if to take the words back. Suddenly, she did not want the answer. "Anu, you've been through so much, and with Carya—" She stopped herself, then started anew. "Have you always been so spiritual?"


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Lin
Luperci Falconer + Diplomat
OCTARINA OF TIME

POSTED: Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:08 pm

The dark girl took in the words and it was obvious that they did not fall on confused ears. Dark eyes looked to her with understanding but not true clarity. Anu was not unsettled by her question, yet when she shook her head Anu did not jump to reply. Rather she waited and allowed Farina to speak further.

It was then that the Eljun looked down, calmly eying the fingers that peaked out from the wide sleeves of her scholar's gown. It saddened her to think of her daughter's misfortune, to think of Val and the fight that he had put forth those months ago when he had been hurt. It pained her heart to worry for his children, that Andi might fall pray to a male like Cary had. That Auggie would try to fight a battle that he could not win.

Anu shook her head, her eyes returning to Farina's black pools. I did not know the gods until I came to live here. And my life was long even before then. Her life had been long lived during all of those years. So much had happened. Good and bad, all without the gods beside her. Though I had always felt that... or wanted, perhaps... there to be something bigger, something beyond our world that could show me the higher road to take. Then Anu had looked to the sun, the constant that left but always returned with each new day. It gave them life and comfort in it's warmth. When I met Miskunn she began to teach me the stories, and I realized that they had been with me all along. I just hadn't known their names.

She placed a light hand on the girl's arm, They have not forgotten you, but you must believe in them for them to turn their face towards you. Her hand retreated and she leaned back, looking at the girl with a different gaze, harder then before. Her tone, however, never changed. I am no fool. I know that bad things may still happen. The elder allowed the younger charges of the pack leeway in their 'I know it all' beliefs and attitudes, but she would not let anyone think that she was daft in her age and closeted inside the grove. Bad things will always happen. Evil will always knock on our door. But I can guarantee you that with Thor at our back we will survive.

Anu

User avatar
Alli
Luperci Someone loves you! a fair golden Sun brought life to my soul
The sun is but...
a morning star.

ashes and wine
burn out brighter

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