[M] I don't need anybody, I'm fine here on my own

POSTED: Thu May 17, 2018 12:48 pm

WARNING: This thread contains material exceeding the general board rating of PG-13. It may contain very strong language, drug usage, graphic violence, or graphic sexual content. Reader discretion is advised.

Emotions churned within her, like sediment pulled to the surface of a stormy lake, and Elle felt hopelessly confused.

Her mother was back. She had clawed her way out of whatever hell had kept her from them and returned a decidedly changed woman. Of this, Elle was glad. She was glad and she was hopeful and she was relieved.

But she was not happy.

She knew that she ought to be. She knew that she should have run to Ailie's side the moment she caught wind of her return, as she might have when she was just a whelp, and embrace her through a wash of tears and whimpers.

But she did none of that.

Instead, Elle had been actively avoiding her. She had remained outside of Krokar for days at a time, careful to keep out of sight or scent of her mother when she came back. It had been easier to deal with her feelings when Ailie was still absent, because they could be ignored. She could hide them away, bury them deep, and forget they were there.

But Ailie's scent was fresh within the pack again, her presence threatening everything that Elle had done for so many months to keep herself strong.

Elle knew that she couldn't keep this up forever. They lived in the same pack and they shared the same spaces. No amount of active avoidance or careful creeping would keep her safe from the inevitable.

When the inevitable finally occurred, it happened in the darkness of night, not long after the moon had started descending. The night was inky and clear, flecks of starlight twinkling cheerfully in the velvet sky. On any other day, it would have been a perfect evening.

But on this day, it was a disaster.

They stood across from one another in the Ruins of Tog, mother facing daughter, as the light from the moon cloaked them in a pale wash of color. "Ellie," her mother breathed and, instantly, Elle felt the urge to run.

"Ye look like shit," were the first words that fell out of Elle's mouth.

To her surprise, Ailie laughed, though the sound of it was sad and uncomfortable. "Ach," she said softly, giving herself a cursory glance. "Aye, Ah s'pse Ah de. Ah've... not been well."

The silence stretched.

"Ah've missed ye, Ellie. Ye an' Fionny; Ah never stopped thinkin' aboot ye." Ailie took a step forward, toward her daughter, inviting her in for a hug. "Never."

But Elle stepped away from her, folding her arms over her chest. Closing her off.

Ailie staggered to a stop, tears pooling in her eyes. She lowered her arms. "Ah'm sorry, Ellie. Ah'm sorry Ah couldn't coome back sooner. Ah was... Ah was..."

"Dinnae." Elle trembled, anger and shame and relief and hope and blame and too many other emotions whirling and crashing against her heart. She clenched her teeth and a surge of anger bubbled up. "Aall ye hev aare excuses an' Ah dinnae want te hear them." She bared her teeth. "Ye left. Ye feckin' left us, Ailie! There ain't ne makin' oop fer tha'!"

In the silence that followed, Elle imagined she could hear her mother's heart beat.

"Elise... Ah-" Ailie began, tears rolling down her face and catching in the moonlight, but Elle's derisive scoff interrupted her.

"Ye dinnae even knaa mah naame." Elle's seagreen stare shined with hurt, she turned abruptly lest her mother see her cry. "Ah dinnae hev enythin' te say te ye ne more."

Before she disappeared in the surrounding woods, Elle gave Ailie a final glance, watching as her mother sank to the earth and sobbed. And then she ran.

OOC: M for language. Rushed and blah but I needed to get it done!

[WC — 625]

Krokar
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Mandi
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