Accept that who I am is enough

RO - Backdated for Early November

POSTED: Mon Dec 02, 2019 7:08 pm

Relief.

Relief should be flowing through Borya, as the boy sat outside the Courthouse, feeling the chill of stone settle against the small of his back as he breathed in sharp intakes of late Autumn air. He should feel glad that the decision had been made, that he'd been shown mercy and understanding.

They hadn't made him fight. Borya had predicted it was coming, when his first year of life came to an end and he'd yet to hear word of his First Blood. Leoris made no mention of it, and had all but refused to train Borya any further after his previous injury. The man's advice had been to focus on the more academic side of things, to teach Borya's mind and reflect any mention of the boy's supposed judgement day.

One day Borya was asked to come to the Courthouse, led there by Leoris who wore his best smile for the boy as he guided him to the Lune. Apparently it didn't feel morally right to force Borya to fight, given his inability, injury and severe lack of motivation towards violence. Which if the young Hushhowl was honest, made perfect sense. And yet as much as Borya was glad he didn't have to fail his First Blood, to lose a fight he didn't want to partake in, the announcement felt like a cold spike in Borya's stomach.

They knew. Everyone knew that Borya was incapable. They knew that he was weak and, even though their reasons were just, they didn't want him to fight. But to Borya, that meant the pack was aware of just how useless he was to them. Here rested a pack of Knights, warriors worthy of their titles, and a boy who was too weak to even risk putting into battle.

Borya could do nothing but thank the Lune for the decision with a soft nod and smile, yellow eyes looking to Leoris as the now ex-mentor led him back out of the Courthouse. He left Borya with words of encouragement, suggesting they continue to work together as Borya finds his job in the pack, to which the boy could only agree with as much will as he could muster. After that, Borya had been left to himself to reflect on what just happened. He wanted to see his family, but at the same time Borya didn't know if he could bare looking at their response. He knew what expressions would face him, looks of surprise, pity and most likely relief.

Relief. Borya supposed he should feel that too.
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