Killing ourselves for convenience - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: Killing ourselves for convenience (/showthread.php?tid=18695) |
- Tayui Aston - 06-25-2011 Located in Borgata Tenzontli. Set at about noon. Tayui had been a member of Salsola for a few months now, but still had not completely met Sirius. True, she had really only joined the pack out of boredom and perhaps a twisted desire to follow Eris, but she supposed she could not be faulted for her poor reasoning. The pack itself did not promote the best of morals, so her reason for joining was as good as any, especially considering the company she kept. Though, even that was a joke: she kept no company and she interacted with no one. She was again a social recluse, just like she had been in the early days of Jaded Shadows. Though, unlike Jaded Shadows, she didn’t think she would eventually prove herself here. She had nothing to prove to these pimps and queens and criminal queers. She was here for revenge and discovery, but she had been quite slow acquiring either of those things. She didn’t even know why she bothered to stay: she was not necessary or needed and she hardly spoke to anyone. She spent her days watching birds and reading books. She supposed she could always try to demonstrate her worth to someone, but there was no one watching. Staring west into the calm waters, Tayui considered how she had destroyed her life and alienated herself from everyone she loved. She supposed even that Hybrid fellow had more loved ones and friends than she. Perhaps if she wandered back to Inferni, she could finally end this silly charade and move on to be with her family. She didn’t want to laugh, but she did anyways since the thought was so absurd. She let her chuckles subside slowly and her expression eventually gave way to a scowl. These parts of the pack were too beautiful and too green, with the occasional shrub and withered tree. It was too good for her. - Sirius Revlis - 06-26-2011 [html] Word Count » 3+ ooc: you make me happy by choosing a Borgata <3 There was little that needed doing on a mild day such a this one, but complacency only made the Thistle King irritable. Perhaps he harbored an avid fear of laziness - A fear of staying too still, or of thinking too deeply, and maybe loosing himself within the confines of such stillness and depth. However, there was something to be said for Salsola's benefit from such a quality; The mafia pack flourished, a weed that grew strong amongst the brittle and cold landscape of Drifter Bay.
.siritxt {font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height:20px; letter-spacing:0px; word-spacing:2px; text-align: left; margin:0px 25px; padding:0px 0px 5px 0px; margin:5px auto; width:500px; } .siritxt .inner {background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/8Hs2Q.png); background-position:top center; background-repeat:no-repeat; padding:122px 0px 0px 0px;} .siritxt .ooc {font-style:italic; font-family:tahoma, verdana, sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:justify; margin:5px auto; width:100%;} .siritxt .wc {text-transform: uppercase; font-weight:bold; font-style:normal;} .siritxt p {text-indent: 25px; margin:0px; padding:0px 5px;} .siritxt b {letter-spacing:1px; } .siritxt u {text-decoration: none; border-bottom:1px dotted #000000; font-style:italic; font-variantmall-caps;} </style> [/html] - Tayui Aston - 06-27-2011 Oh, I am glad! (302). She heard a creature approach from the sounds, and although her instinct screamed at her to whip her head around to determine who it was, she managed to compose herself just enough to turn her head slowly and respectfully. She didn’t know how much the second part of that thought was a ruse when she felt so bored with packs and the lives they led here, but she could at least play the part. She could pretend, though, it was a thought and experience she was still adapting to. She had lived her life without thought to what she said, and suddenly, it mattered more than she cared to acknowledge. But she had never been one to lie to herself, so it was high time she acknowledged that she had been a naïve, fanciful fool. With that in mind, she felt a small smile ghost her features as she took in who stood before her. Sirius, the supposed leader of this pack, was standing prim and proper like a good soldier boy. She supposed it was hard to see him as anything more than Deirdre’s boy and Apollo’s brother. Pilot’s son, her friend, so by extension, she should feel something for him: a connection. She only felts waves of apathy tugging at her smile and demanding she free herself from this suffocating lie. Ever aware that canine hierarchy was more strictly observed in Salsola, Tayui greeted Sirius the traditional way: she dipped her head and then licked the underside of his muzzle. “Sirius,” she murmured almost demurely. If only. She didn’t want to be the one asking the questions, so she didn’t. She took a small step back to let him begin. If he was the one who approached her demanding an audience, he was the one who had questions; not her. - Sirius Revlis - 06-30-2011 [html] Word Count » 3+ ooc: <3 For a moment, it seemed the woman would merely gaze blankly at him. But then she rose, as graceful as he remembered, and greeted the Thistle King in the manner with which he had become accustomed to being greeted. However, Sirius was no fool, and did not allow his arrogance to blind him - There was a hollowness to her gaze that spoke of no loyalty or admiration. The total apathy there was somewhat chilling, and as she retreated a step with only the whisper of his name, his mineral olive eyes followed closely. The Revlis man frowned.
.siritxt {font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height:20px; letter-spacing:0px; word-spacing:2px; text-align: left; margin:0px 25px; padding:0px 0px 5px 0px; margin:5px auto; width:500px; } .siritxt .inner {background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/8Hs2Q.png); background-position:top center; background-repeat:no-repeat; padding:122px 0px 0px 0px;} .siritxt .ooc {font-style:italic; font-family:tahoma, verdana, sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:justify; margin:5px auto; width:100%;} .siritxt .wc {text-transform: uppercase; font-weight:bold; font-style:normal;} .siritxt p {text-indent: 25px; margin:0px; padding:0px 5px;} .siritxt b {letter-spacing:1px; } .siritxt u {text-decoration: none; border-bottom:1px dotted #000000; font-style:italic; font-variantmall-caps;} </style> [/html] - Tayui Aston - 06-30-2011 They were two predators watching one another with the precision of a raptor. Tayui could feel his gaze weighing heavily on her. She didn’t know what he was thinking, but he had a very stern expression. As she stepped back, he frowned and then spoke quickly. He commented on her recent anti-social behaviour and for a moment, Tayui wanted to chuckle in reply. Yes, of course she often ate alone when she had none with whom to eat. One ate with friends when one had friends and one made friends by eating with them. Clearly, there was a paradox inherent in the structure of the system. No matter; she didn’t feel particularly obligated to befriend anyone here. “Does that violate some sort of custom here, Sirius?” she replied. She wasn’t sure how that had come off – perhaps a bit cold and lacking in emotion, but to her, it was a fine humorous jab. She just hoped he had a sense of humour. The boy she had once known had turned inside himself and produced the most rotten results. It wasn’t that she disliked or despised him or even looked down upon him; it was just that whatever he had been had been so much more real than he was now. He was just a boy playing dress up. Of course, when Sirius brought that up, Tayui couldn’t help but smile. Yes, he had been so much more honest and real then. He had been full of life. She didn’t like this new Sirius, whoever he was. “We change ourselves. We condition ourselves into becoming creatures of habit.” We force ourselves to become things we should not be. - Sirius Revlis - 07-01-2011 [html] Word Count » 3+ She was clearly not intimidated by his presence. While that might have pleased the Thistle King in some mannerisms, for he detested yes-men and spineless fools alike, it also served to put him on guard. Her tones spoke of a lack of respect, and such a thing often lead to mutiny. Furthermore, Sirius felt contempt for lowering himself to be judged once more, especially by a gaze so hollow and listless as hers. The tall, dark-haired man had proven himself again and again, and still it seemed there were disbelievers. The wicked scars over his right pectoral marked him as a bearslayer, and the intelligence in his gaze that sometimes bordered on a fanatic madness was sheer proof to most individuals. Had Tayui not been a valuable, intriguing individual, and a ghost from the Boss' past, perhaps he would have had her punished for her general disconnection out of sheer mistrust.
.siritxt {font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height:20px; letter-spacing:0px; word-spacing:2px; text-align: left; margin:0px 25px; padding:0px 0px 5px 0px; margin:5px auto; width:500px; } .siritxt .inner {background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/8Hs2Q.png); background-position:top center; background-repeat:no-repeat; padding:122px 0px 0px 0px;} .siritxt .ooc {font-style:italic; font-family:tahoma, verdana, sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:justify; margin:5px auto; width:100%;} .siritxt .wc {text-transform: uppercase; font-weight:bold; font-style:normal;} .siritxt p {text-indent: 25px; margin:0px; padding:0px 5px;} .siritxt b {letter-spacing:1px; } .siritxt u {text-decoration: none; border-bottom:1px dotted #000000; font-style:italic; font-variantmall-caps;} </style> [/html] - Tayui Aston - 07-02-2011 390. When Sirius replied, Tayui knew immediately what to say in response. She considered his tone, how his voice lowered and how his gaze was suddenly more focused. His eyes snapped to Tayui’s and she found herself again thinking that they were two raptors. They were both predators, though; she suspected Sirius had a greater perchance for cruelty. She glanced at his hands as he crossed his arms across his chest and then returned her gaze to his visage. Olive green eyes. “Of course it is,” Tayui replied calmly. She did not mean to antagonize, but merely demonstrate how something could be inherently correct. “It is the truth that shocks and chills, but lies are what console. The truth is often the last thing one wants to hear.” Perhaps that was why she thrived on knowledge and why Shadowed Sun had never flourish. Rarely did others want to advance themselves or their knowledge and when they were given the opportunity to know the truth, they shied away, thinking that if ignorance was bliss, then perhaps they should continue on their honeymoon. Tayui had never believed it, and with no reason to improve herself and continue learning, she had grown jaded and bitter. “It may just be. You may think I give praise, but I only wish it were something dead. Like a eulogy should be.” She didn’t know if she should continue. She couldn’t trust him and that was why she felt so little. She needed to know she could trust her leader when she herself had been one, once. He did not imbue any sense of pride in her. She was here for a practical reason: to destroy herself more thoroughly than she could have in Anathema. “I am here to destroy myself,” she replied, voicing it as exactly as she had thought to herself. “I was bound by monotony and needed to return to my birthright. We’re creatures of chaos, not of habituality. When we degrade ourselves to such repetition, we die.” She couldn’t say that she didn’t want to die, but she didn’t want to be bored. She had no real reason for why she was here: she existed and would continue existing for an indefinite time. She didn’t know what happened after death, but she knew she would continue to live in others’ memories, making her eternal. - Sirius Revlis - 07-03-2011 [html] Word Count » 3+ The woman seemed vague, unaware of how brashly she spoke. A slave had been silenced, his tongue removed from his mouth by Sirius' blade, for far less than the blatant disagreement with which the Aston woman spoke. But she was no slave, and the more she voiced these deep dark truths, the more Sirius found himself thoughtfully lenient toward them. It had been a while since any had dared speak so bluntly, or so eloquently, to him, and although sinister it was indeed refreshing.
.siritxt {font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height:20px; letter-spacing:0px; word-spacing:2px; text-align: left; margin:0px 25px; padding:0px 0px 5px 0px; margin:5px auto; width:500px; } .siritxt .inner {background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/8Hs2Q.png); background-position:top center; background-repeat:no-repeat; padding:122px 0px 0px 0px;} .siritxt .ooc {font-style:italic; font-family:tahoma, verdana, sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:justify; margin:5px auto; width:100%;} .siritxt .wc {text-transform: uppercase; font-weight:bold; font-style:normal;} .siritxt p {text-indent: 25px; margin:0px; padding:0px 5px;} .siritxt b {letter-spacing:1px; } .siritxt u {text-decoration: none; border-bottom:1px dotted #000000; font-style:italic; font-variantmall-caps;} </style> [/html] - Tayui Aston - 07-07-2011 592 She tried not to flinch as he looked at her and tried not to look too far away. She knew it was prudent not to meet his gaze and show him at least the respect she might show any canine, but she also understood that there was some sort of instinct borne from so many years ago deeply bred into this boy. She understood these things, but knew she could never voice them. She saw his teeth glint and felt a shudder run through her body. It wasn’t that he was looking at her in a sexual way, but he was regarding her with such concern to his own power. He knew who he was and Tayui understood her role here, too. There were no questions in her mind about who she had become or what she would be: she had re-created herself, but perhaps, not quite enough. She couldn’t just say she would become a monster: she had to become one. Words were useless until they became actions. Sirius spoke quietly and with a strange frown. He sounded almost worried, or even sad, at what she had told him, but Tayui could not understand why. It had been her own prerogative to come here, and if her reasons dismayed him, then perhaps he was not as cruel as he thought he was. As he continued, Tayui found herself frowning this time. She didn’t like his analogy: she was no useless star and she would not collapse onto herself. She didn’t like that he only spoke in riddles and expected her to return them in kind. She was no sphinx and he was not Oedipus; she had nothing to confer to him that was not plain and simple. She watched as he circled her, prowling with his yellowed teeth shining. If he was trying to scare her, it was certainly working. She now understood the price for speaking the truth, and that he initial assessment was wholly correct: no one ever wanted to know the truth, not even the leader of this brutal pack. He had no need for it if he could just as easily control her minions with lies and gory promises. “I have indeed adapted,” she replied slowly. “And I continue to do so. As I said, I have returned to chaos, where I belong. I am not confused, my boy,” she explained sweetly with a smile, “I know why I am here and I understand who I am. I seek no easy ending. If I wanted that, there are many easier solutions.” She had let herself become free from conditioning, the training, and the repetition, but Sirius only wanted to shackle her back to these old chains. He said so, using other words – adapt, survive – than she might have, but he could easily oversee a prison, the likes of which she had left behind many times before. She wanted to say she was indeed of no use to him. She would not let herself be used by anyone, for she was free and she was herself. If he thought he could use her, or her skills in whatever ways he imagined, he was just another fool. She wanted to say so much more, but she figured it prudent to quiet down. Yes, this was why she had kept to herself and not drawn any attention: her freedom was in her loneliness, but so was her sadness. She craved the same social contact as many others might, but she understood she could not have this without losing her freedoms. - Sirius Revlis - 07-21-2011 [html] Word Count » 3+ He was trying to understand, but struggling. There did not seem to be any greed or motivation behind her words - Having known only freedom, too much freedom, for his entire life, Sirius would never truly be able to comprehend the sense of claustrophobia the beautiful ivory woman felt within the packs she had lived in, and lived in now. He knew ownership - The slaves were testimony of that, beings that Salsola had fashioned into items, belongings, and nothing more. And it was true that his olive eyes measured those around him in worth. He had known a man in the ports of Freetown who traded such pathetic slaves for their value in other items. A beautiful woman like Tayui could be worth many sheep, or at least a good horse. But this was not a manner in which he could think of her, for unlike the slaves, she was not 'owned' by him, and nor would she ever be.
.siritxt {font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height:20px; letter-spacing:0px; word-spacing:2px; text-align: left; margin:0px 25px; padding:0px 0px 5px 0px; margin:5px auto; width:500px; } .siritxt .inner {background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/8Hs2Q.png); background-position:top center; background-repeat:no-repeat; padding:122px 0px 0px 0px;} .siritxt .ooc {font-style:italic; font-family:tahoma, verdana, sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:justify; margin:5px auto; width:100%;} .siritxt .wc {text-transform: uppercase; font-weight:bold; font-style:normal;} .siritxt p {text-indent: 25px; margin:0px; padding:0px 5px;} .siritxt b {letter-spacing:1px; } .siritxt u {text-decoration: none; border-bottom:1px dotted #000000; font-style:italic; font-variantmall-caps;} </style> [/html] - Tayui Aston - 07-26-2011 WC: 406 When he snarled, Tayui knew it was time to make her exit. Although he had been the one to approach her, she felt as though he should be the one to leave, she could not help but feel there was too much tension in this conversation. She did not join Salsola to seek stress or burden herself with concerns such as these, so she thought it would be best to leave the child-king to his own devices. She could not hear him snarl, but she could see how his body tensed up slightly, how his lips pulled back just enough to flash a bit of white, and how he stopped moving for a split second. She was glad for the warning, but was concerned of the consequences. She didn’t think she had said anything particularly controversial, but then, she supposed her comment about truthfulness and her gentle rejection of his analogy might have put him on edge. As they spoke, Tayui saw that his ego was just as big as Eris’. It would not do if she hurt his ego, for she suspected he was a truly prideful creature. While Tayui knew she was a prideful creature, they were two of a different species. And of course, her words would have to be only half-truths, because as she had predicted, he could not bear the full explanation. Yes, she was here for many of her own daintily twisted reasons, but she did not expect him to understand. If anything, explaining why she was really here – to follow Eris, to continue spying on Hybrid, and to be honestly left alone where she could become who she needed to be – would only bring more trouble than it was worth. Besides, she had no reason to be following Eris like she did Hybrid. It would only raise questions and she had no answers. “I don’t want anything, Sirius,” she replied calmly. “I am quite content with simply being who I am. I contribute to this pack like all the others: I attend the meetings and I participate in the suppers and the hunts. I am sorry if you feel otherwise.” She dipped her head, trying not to flinch when he sneered. “I I may, I would like to take my leave now. The afternoon sun is rather hot and I wouldn’t want you to get sick. If I may leave and let you continue you as you were, Sirius.” |