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burn the land and boil the sea - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: burn the land and boil the sea (/showthread.php?tid=2279) |
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- Laruku Tears - 06-16-2008 [html]
AW, the border of the Quartz Shoreline and the Dampwoods. It seemed like it had been raining for forever already. The dirt was soft and soggy all over the forest, and the leaves rustled and dripped with water now and again when birds landed and took off. Today, the sky was blanketed with a solid grey, and the air was cold. Low thunder rumbled in the distance at irregular intervals; it would rain again in the afternoon, most likely, but it was still only mid-morning. He found it somewhat odd though, that it should be raining so much, especially since a fire had ravaged the lands only months ago. Maybe it was penance. He'd lived through a flood before, but he didn't remember it very well anymore. It was a pretentious peace that he had found because he didn't trust himself to judge his own thoughts anymore. Maybe he really had accepted everything; maybe not. The fact was that he was apathetic, and no one really ascended into apathy. They could only descend into it. Or walk sideways into it. Laruku walked along the edge of the forest and looked out into the ocean. It was a foreign and unfamiliar beach still, and still no desire to explore or know it gripped him. The waves were angry and high, smashing down on the shore like monsters, and then dragging their claws back, racking up all of the debris that they themselves had thrown onto the sand. It was hypnotic to watch, but it was also easy to hypnotize someone who wasn't really paying attention to anything else. - Conri Church - 06-16-2008 [html]
- Laruku Tears - 06-16-2008 [html] Everything was subjective. Even things that should be facts, that should be self-evident, were dependent on perspective and perception with plenty of leeway in definitions. "Alive" was thus very much a matter of opinion. Iskata had not considered him alive, and most of the time, Laruku would be inclined to agree with her. The coyotewolf had not heard the other male approach but did not immediately react when spoken to either. Instead, he turned his head slowly and looked up at Conri from his seated position at the edge of the damp grass. Dried blood and bandages were a familiar smell, but it bothered him that the scent was coming from someone other than himself. Vaguely, he remembered the then-boy's admittance of his father's execution. Blood seemed to stain everyone's hands at one point or another. If you say so,was the older, scarred up canine's quiet reply, but he didn't linger on it. What happened to you?Laruku was stubborn in his belief that he was not needed. In his belief, he knew that Conri could take care of himself, that he and Naniko were fine with the pack they had created together, and that his presence was utterly unnecessary. But that didn't mean that he didn't believe that unfortunate things would happen to them. Clearly they could and had. Most likely, there was nothing he could do, but the hybrid had been an alpha for too long to not be concerned now. It was so easy to be apathetic when he was so far removed, but it seemed that no matter what he did and what he chose to believe, he would always be a fool. - Conri Church - 06-16-2008 [html]
- Laruku Tears - 06-17-2008 [html] Inferni. It was always Inferni. He knew there had been other conflicts in the past, but in all the years he had been around, it seemed like the coyotes were the only ones to repeatedly antagonize. The own war he had led had been entirely his fault, and he was lucky, perhaps, that he had only been against Segodi's reign. Kaena would have been a much more frightful enemy, and he imagined that Gabriel was just as bad, or even worse. It was strange to think that in another time, Laruku might have been considered the man's stepfather, but in their chaotic and strife-filled timeline, those sorts of crossovers in blood and relationships meant little to nothing. The only family he had in Inferni was Rachias, as far as he knew, and Arkham if he ever did make it out alive. And they, were they fighting against Conri in whatever conflict they were caught up in? He wasn't sure if the answer even mattered. The tattered male could hear the hurt in the other's voice. Guilt was a funny thing. He knew couldn't go back, even if it came to this, even if it meant hurting Conri more now, because in the end, things would only worsen if he asserted himself. I heard you,he said, red eyes also turned towards the ocean. I knew you were okay.And that was the truth, though Laruku wasn't sure if would have done anything if he hadn't heard them. If the forest had remained silent in the days after the fire, he would have likely just blamed himself while simultaneously not looking for anyone. Hiding. Skirting responsibility like he always had, and somehow, he might have convinced himself that they had simply fled to a different area, and that they were fine and doing perfectly well, if not better, without him. I should have died back there, he thought of telling the other, but he had dumped his personal woes on enough other people already. Conri had his own problems, clearly, so why overburden him with those buried tragedies? You've all grown up,the hybrid continued instead, You don't need me anymore.(They never needed you, darlin', they never did.) - Conri Church - 06-17-2008 [html]
- Laruku Tears - 06-18-2008 [html]
Most people -- including, apparently, Conri -- seemed to have considered his long reign over the pack as proof of his responsibility, his dedication, or his loyalty. Of course the truth was not so respectable, but all the same, Laruku still found it difficult to explain to himself why he had stayed as long as he had. Initially, it had simply seemed like there had been no one else to take his place should he go. Even as the months rolled by, it never seemed like there was anyone else he could leave in his stead. After a while, the alphaship became a burden that he did not wish to place upon anyone else; who deserved that sort of curse? And as time continued, it was mostly that he had lost interest in the rest of the world and the pack was all he had left. He had stayed for himself more than anything else. There was no nobility in his actions at all. Conri's sentiments reminded him very much of Iskata's, though the hybrid found himself feeling more guilty than he had with his cousin, perhaps because the male was younger, or perhaps because he knew less about his own issues. Laruku closed his eyes and sighed quietly, breathing outward slowly. He supposed he had known all along that he couldn't hide forever, not if he was going to be "apathetic" enough to stay in the general area. I'm sorry,he said, But you're wrong, Conri. You really don't need me.For these good-hearted people, the tawny coyotewolf doubted that he could ever convince them that he was not worth caring about, and it was hard for him to decide between telling them exactly why they shouldn't look up to him and just not bothering to burden them with the knowledge. It was very hard. Did you start the war? Or is it Gabriel picking fights?he wondered with sincere curiosity and concern. Ten members strong in two months, I'd say you and Naniko are doing fine. Fuck Gabriel.He cursed, but his tone of voice never really changed. Laruku opened his eyes again, but did not look at the other. The waves kept crashing angrily on the beach. You're doing better than I ever did, Conri.And the truth was that he was proud. But Conri had only ever done good things, it seemed. Even a stranger would be proud. You know how I started a war?Laruku asked in an even softer voice, I got drunk and killed someone.The words were there before he could think, but he was done regretting things already. Acceptance didn't make them any easier to swallow though. - Conri Church - 06-18-2008 [html]
- Laruku Tears - 06-18-2008 [html] No,was the hybrid's reply at Conri's guess. Voltaire's death was not what had begun the war; indeed, it might have been more fitting to say that the silver coyote had been what ended it. Instead, it had been someone far less deserving, and a perfect stranger. It was someone else. I never got his name.The admission tasted strange in his mouth; he was fairly certain that he had only ever told one other person about Janus's murder -- and it had indeed been murder, not vengeance or retribution or punishment, just murder, plain and simple. I'd been on Lightning Bay, and I'd been angry and drunk out of my mind. There's no excuse about it -- this guy didn't do anything except talk to me.Laruku expected the laughter to ring up in his head, but the voice was surprisingly quiet now. How many people did that war kill? Two? Three? Including Iskata's first mate? And why? Because I couldn't deal with my own problems without alcohol?The coyotewolf surprised himself with his continued words; it seemed like forever since he'd said so much to anyone, whether it had been a dull, obligatory conversation, a confession, or otherwise. Tarnishing his own image before Conri's eyes seemed too easy to do; he wondered what the younger male must think of him now. He wondered if he still wanted advice or help or whatever it was they still seemed to expect of him. He wondered if all of those expectations would ever completely melt away, and if they did, would he miss them? It was so easy to let himself down and to berate himself for everything, but in the end, when everyone knew he had never been what they thought, how would that feel? Laruku never turned away from looking at the sea; it was just easiest to look at something that didn't look back. You didn't do anything wrong here. Gabriel has always been too paranoid and antagonistic for his own good. Keep your people away yourself and if Inferni is still hunting you down, then appeal to the other packs established because the coyotes are obviously the ones tooting the war drums. In the end, you still outnumber them.The hybrid closed his eyes again, only partially aware of the fact that he was indeed giving advice just after he'd asserted his own uselessness. It was troublesome perhaps, that he did indeed still care for all of those whom he wished would leave him behind. Life never could be simple though, could it? - Conri Church - 06-18-2008 [html]
- Laruku Tears - 06-18-2008 [html]
Laruku had given up trying to be a saint a long time ago. He'd only inherited eyes from his mother; everything else, all of his madness, all of his hatred, all of his sins were so easily derived from his father, the crazy one-time leader buried within Inferni history. His birth in itself had been just another chapter in the long history of violent Inferni-Clouded Tears relations, and now, even as the former members of his pack were forced to find a new home and adopt a new name, the conflict remained. Laruku did not want to be needed, was convinced that he wasn't (even if Conri insisted otherwise), but then why did he feel so compelled to reassure the younger male now? To give "advice"? Not as a pack, maybe, but if Inferni is going to be so insistent on keeping racial prejudices, then certainly you can find allies in other wolves.Another pack was also at war simultaneously? He wondered who it was. Cercelee's scent had given a location close to Inferni's. It seemed that both his ex-packmates and You can't isolate yourself in these sorts of situations. Move your pack closer to the other if you have to, or ask that they rally where you are. You can help them if they can help you. Inferni has been able to unify the coyotes, even behind a mostly wolf leader. You should be able to manage the same. You do outnumber them. Words tumbled out of his mouth before he thought about them, but he couldn't help but wonder if any of his advice was worth heeding. What decisions had he ever made that were worthy of praise? He hadn't handled his own war well. He hadn't handled his own goddamn life well. What credibility could he possibly have? - Conri Church - 06-18-2008 [html]
- Laruku Tears - 06-18-2008 [html] You could run away,he suggested quietly. Take everyone and find somewhere else, far from here.When fighting could only end in an inevitable loss and when you were unwilling to sacrifice principle for safety, then what else was there really to do? Integrity and pride were costly things to keep sometimes. It wouldn't be cowardly. I'm not sure that Inferni would ever give into reason.It was the pessimist in him speaking perhaps, but from what Laruku knew of Gabriel, if he thought he was right, then there was no stopping him from anything. You have to decide what's most important to you in the endIt wasn't something the coyotewolf could tell him. He probably didn't know what he would do in such a situation. It could very well be the other packs' fight though. If Inferni went after you for a flimsy reason, then it's easy to conclude that they could do so to anyone else in the future.Maybe in the end, it was Gabriel's ultimate plan to rid the area of wolves entirely. It wouldn't be unlike him. It wouldn't be unlike his mother. I don't know,Laruku told him, I don't have the answers to anything. - Conri Church - 06-19-2008 [html]
- Laruku Tears - 06-19-2008 [html] If it wasn't morals and principles hindering people one way, then it was another. To ally with those you believed to be corrupt or to uproot an entire family? Values versus values, and even as Conri began to speak, Laruku knew he had already made his decision. And the hybrid did not really believe that Inferni could ever be crushed completely. Distantly, he recalled a conversation with a man named Skoll, who had considered it the best tactic to try and crush the entirety of the clan and get it over with. Such a goal of genocide would never be well looked upon though, regardless of Inferni's misdeeds, and a small group of crusaders could not hope to wipe out such an extensive family. Someone would always survive, and that someone would undoubtedly carry on the legacy of his clan. It didn't matter how many people riled together for their destruction. As long as there were a few sympathizers or pacifists or optimists that believed in peace, then Inferni would never die. You'll be fine then,was all Laruku could come up with, but he believed in that, for the while. And congratulations.Another generation growing up already, and the scarred, tawny male once again felt old. His fourth birthday was in a month and a half, which meant his own children were nearing their first. It had been a thousand lifetimes since everything had happened, and he was just watching the sun rise and fall each day with no real concept of time. It was a strange, empty existence. I suppose,he said, I've stuck around these forests is all. Haven't really explored this place all that much.Perhaps there was a bitterness in his voice, but he couldn't tell. Still, this wasn't home. He didn't really want it to be. - Conri Church - 06-21-2008 [html]
- Laruku Tears - 06-23-2008 [html] Occasionally, he found himself forgetting about his apparent ailment; Conri's suggestion of a visit didn't seem so bad until he remembered exactly why he'd become so isolated in the first place. He knew he owed it to them to at least make one trip out there, to let them know that he was okay if they really were worrying so much. But though Ryoujoku seemed to have stopped physically manifesting and even though the echos of his laughing voice had become a bit less frequent, the hybrid was still terrified of the monstrous possibilities that resided within himself, especially since he knew that women and children were not immune to his potential violence. The bitter taste of blood still greeted him at the thought and the half-memory; what if it happened again? What if, what if? Maybe it was completely unlikely, but Laruku wasn't ever going to rule it out completely. He would always be a sick man. So he gave a vague, noncommittal nod, not expecting Conri to understand, but not expecting him to question it either. He could not live with them. Maybe a quick visit wouldn't kill anyone, but he refused to take up any sort of permanent residence surrounded by unsuspecting others. At least here, with only Ahren and Jasper around, they knew to not hesitate in seriously fighting him off if it came to it. Was he happy like this? He'd given up on trying to define what that was a long time ago, and now, contentedness was all he needed. And he was content, most of the time, to wander alone where he could hurt no one but himself. He was okay. He was okay. People needed to stop thinking that he wasn't (even if they were, possibly, right). Maybe it was a lonely existence, but he was okay. And they were fine without him. Fine, fine, fine. It's hard to explain,he said finally. But I'd bring more trouble than its worth if I went to Twilight Vale.It wasn't a question of happiness at all, though he didn't really want to say that he would probably feel the same vague, empty contentedness no matter where he was at this point. |