[aw] crawling back to you - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: [aw] crawling back to you (/showthread.php?tid=30805) |
- Trent - 09-01-2012 [html] Oh, shit, he really needed to do something about his apathy. He really needed to... well, get out there, and be present in his pack. Trent still felt like he was completely new here, and he'd been here for so long; he didn't really remember when it had been, but it had been somewhere during the winter... And now, it was only a couple of months until another winter would visit them. And he didn't really know that many people. Most faces he'd seen only once. Terra and Alder were the only two that could potentially be viewed as friends. Oh, right, and he'd ditched his pony-thing with Alder the last time they'd really seen each other. Way to go, Trent. Deciding that he needed to make up for his past misdeeds, Trent walked in his optime form towards the stables today. He could make up to Alder, and the best way to do so, he reckoned, was to actually give some attention to the pony, not-so-lovingly dubbed "Pony". Trent wasn't really sure if he wanted Alder to show up in the flesh, though, or if he'd prefer Alder later heard or noticed that he'd visited Pony. Oh, but didn't he speak horse-speak, anyway? Great, then Pony could tell Alder all about Trent's awesome spending time with Pony. Reaching the stables, it didn't take Trent long to spot his undersized... thing, among the taller, sturdier, and much more charismatic horses. It took it even less long to spot him; Pony instantly lifted its head and let out a soft whinny as it lifted its head over the stable door. Wait, had it been a guy or a girl? Trent forgot. It was probably a good thing to try and figure out if it was a guy or a girl, because he couldn't go around calling it "it" all the time. Especially not if Pony was going to give Alder a report of how well Trent was doing with Pony. Trent tugged at the door, but it didn't budge. Hmm. Probably a pony-proof lock, which, Trent had figured out over time, often meant it was a Trent-proof lock, too. He studied the system, which was quite simple, but not for him. He still wasn't entirely used to using his thumbs and all... Eventually, Trent got the door to budge, and he smiled, pleased with himself. The smile was quickly wiped off his face as he toppled onto the ground though, with a door in his stomach. "Aagh!" he squeaked, 'cause it hurt to get knocked to the ground by a door, and the back of his head thudded against the ground. Deja vu. Once more, the first thing he saw when looking up was a pony face. "Gerroff me, stupid thing," he shouted, and pushed the nose away. Trent quickly scrambled to his feet so that he at least had the advantage of size over the darn pony. Now, let's see if you're a lady or a lad... Probably a pig, judging by your behaviour, Trent mumbled to himself, and in the stable halls -- he didn't even bother putting Pony back in the stable, because, let's face it, it would just get right back out -- he crouched to his knees on the ground, pushing his head to the ground so that he could see... Ah! No weener, so definitely a girl-pony then. She. He mentally noted this, and was also quite grateful that Pony was standing still for a change. Now, he just needed to figure out what he could do with her... Maybe take her for a walk, or something? Still crouched down on the ground, Trent started to get up, desperately hoping no one had been watching him all along. - Alder - 09-06-2012 [html] ohhh angst-Alder XD [/html] - Trent - 09-06-2012 I love how Trent only really spends time with his pony to try and make up to Alder, and Alder is feeling upset that Trent isn't spending time with him but is coming to see the pony, haha. <3 [html] Alder's appearance instantly caught Pony's attention, who happily made her way over to apple-guy. Trent thought it was only because he had an apple at first, feeling a little envious (he wasn't really sure which of the two he was actually jealous of, though, Pony or Alder). But then he realised that Alder must've taken care of Pony all this time, and it made sense that after being stuck like glue to Trent at first, she was now beginning to see that her great hero never really showed up and that Alder was actually there for her all the time. Trent had really hated it when the pony had followed him around the first time they'd met, but now he hated it that the pony preferred to be with Alder over him, no longer worshipping the ground he walked on. It was evident to Trent that Alder wasn't his bright, calm and somewhat soft self, but Trent didn't blame him. He must seem like a total stranger now, after all this time. Trent scrambled to his feet fully, lifting himself upright, and wiped some of his long ginger hairs from his face. "Looks like she missed you more." Probably because you've only been away for a little while, thought Trent, and he couldn't help but add a little jealously, Or just because you're cheating with food. Trent felt rather awkward himself, but unlike Alder, who felt much like a closed book -- formal and polite, but not, well, not Alder -- Trent showed it pretty clearly that he was not sure at all how to act around Alder. He wanted to apologise for not coming around to see Alder for so long, like he'd intended to, but since Alder had stolen the attention of his pony, he was feeling a little headstrong about that and decided against it. "How have you been?" he asked as casually as he could manage. Pony was still looking to get Alder's apple and, once she'd get it, she would doubtlessly beg to get more in whatever way she could. - Alder - 09-06-2012 [html] lol! yeah Alder doesnt even get why he's moody. XD [/html] - Trent - 09-06-2012 [html] Trent himself was trying to deal with the change of leadership, too. He didn't really know this Silvano guy, really, so he supposed that it didn't impact him much. Well, unless the new guy turned out to be a horrible saddist anyway. Trent doubted it, though, since Vigilante (whom he'd never met in person as of yet) was still there, too. "I was thinking of visiting Strelein," said Trent, and he looked at Alder to see if he was close to the man at all. "I mean, 'cause it sounded like he could use, err... Well, something." He was going to say 'a friend', but Alder's cool attitude hadn't gone unnoticed to Trent. He hadn't exactly been a friend to Alder... So to say he'd go over to someone else that he didn't even really know much at all to be a good friend might've been hurtful. Trent scratched the back of his head as Alder returned the question, not really sure what to answer. Trent hadn't been very happy at all over the summer, slouching into apathy and avoiding most wolves -- not just Alder -- but etiquette appealed him to not tell Alder all about that, didn't it? He honestly was at a loss for words, but neither did he just want to say 'fine, really' and let an awkward silence settle between them. Alder deserved at least a little bit more honest than his usual awkward lies. "Stuck to myself mostly, I guess." Not really by choice -- well, it wasn't like anyone had forced him or anything, but... Trent really wished it had gone differently, now -- and Trent hoped that it would make Alder feel a little better about Trent not seeing his pony for so long. He had to be angry, taking care of the bloody animal all the time and getting nothing in return; at least, nothing but a pony. Not any friendship or gratefulness from Trent. But hey, at least he was still here, right? Trent wiped some hairs out of his face again and looked at the ground. The pony still stood by Alder's side, hoping for more apples. "Err, if I do visit Strelein, it's normal to bring something like a gift, isn't it? Do you think he'd like the company?" It was a little shameful that his own social inaptness was all Trent could talk about. He just didn't want Strelein, fallen or not as a leader and thus not quite so influential anymore, to think he was a complete idiot. Trent hadn't done a lot of visiting to people in his old, wolfier life. He liked the novelty of his optime form a lot, and had grown into it better over time, but he still lacked in mannerisms a lot. - Alder - 09-07-2012 [html] [/html] - Trent - 09-07-2012 [html] Trent wasn't even really sure why he had such a desire to visit Strelein. Alder of all people, Trent imagined, would've been the first to think of visiting the fallen leader, because Trent saw him as someone who was kind and compassionate and would feel sorry for him. But Alder's answer didn't really let that much shine through, only mentioning that Strelein would probably appreciate the company. The idea of giving a gift, though, Alder didn't seem to approve of very much. Trent didn't understand why. He thought it was the thought of bringing something that mattered, as a sort of thank-you for them letting you into a tiny fragment of their lives. Apparently he was wrong, though, and gifts should only be given as a thank-you for doing... well, something. Trent wasn't sure how exactly their leader had failed them, especially because he had no idea if anyone, like the Alpha he didn't know, or Alder, or anyone else had reached out to Strelein. Trent sure hadn't, and maybe that was why he wanted to visit the Serf now, out of belated care and guilt for not showing it on time, being the friend he might've needed before falling into his flawed behaviour. He would never know if he could've stopped it from happening, though, now. And maybe it was one of the things that got Trent back up, that made him care a little. He hadn't really been spending time doing anything to benefit the pack -- but then, he was dangling at the bottom of the ranks for a reason -- but now he felt like he could refind some sort of purpose, by offering Strelein a friend. Or maybe seeking the company of someone weaker and even less contributive than himself would make Trent feel a little less guilty for all of his own mooching away in Cour des Miracles. He'd feel better because at least he was better than Strelein, and he'd feel better because he contributed by trying to help the fallen leader back up on his feet. Strelein had once been a leader... That meant he was not a total waste of space, at one time. And that meant that he could get there again, surely. "She...?" Trent thought aloud, blinking stupidly as Alder mentioned a 'she' that wasn't currently anywhere to be found in Trent's train of thought. Then he looked at the pony and hastily added, "Oh, yes, of course." Trent waited for Alder to take the first move and would follow by his side, but once they were on their way he came back to the subject that plagued his mind presently. "But Strelein was once a good leader, wasn't he? So don't you think that maybe, if we'd reached out to him more, I mean uh, earlier, that he wouldn't have fallen? Wouldn't have gotten so rotten at his job? Maybe not all the blame is one person. And if he was once a good leader, then he still has that potential, doesn't he?" Trent wasn't sure why he was trying to defend the fallen Dauphin, truthfully, but there was a part of him that symphasized with the man, and Trent didn't really like it when all of the blame for something was pointed only at the one person directly involved. But indirectly, they were all involved. A pack was only as strong as its weakest link, and they all had that responsibility to make sure the weakest link would get stronger. Not just Strelein, who might've -- Trent didn't know the reason he had sunk so low, so he didn't know -- just needed more understanding and friendship, and maybe this would never have happened. As an afterthought, Trent added, "Did you know him well..?" - Alder - 09-10-2012 [html] [/html] - Trent - 09-11-2012 [html] Trent hadn't known he was failing, that was true. And apparently, neither had Alder. Perhaps that's why he was so defensive, trying to absolve himself of any responsibility or, perhaps, worse, feeling offended and personally victimised by Trent's words; as if he, personally, should've done something more. Trent didn't mean it like that, but he did think that maybe they could've done more. It was a scary thought that if he would fall back into a hermit's living tomorrow, there would be nobody to know or care about it. Only angry Alder who wouldn't come to see him, but who'd be disappointed and unhappy that Trent had betrayed him, regardless of the reasons. It was disheartening. But, right, back to Strelein... Trent blurted out, "That new leader guy knew." After all, he'd been the one to throw him off his throne. Trent sure as hell hadn't known, but then, he admittedly hadn't made a habit of hanging out with the pack's leaders. He was rather intimidated by them and felt like they'd only see his klutziness and complete waste of space if he'd come too close to them. But others, like that new leader guy -- his name slipped Trent a moment -- had apparently noticed, known, and had gotten angry -- like Alder was now, and might've been had it been him confronting Strelein -- instead of trying to help a pack mate. Even if he'd wanted the man to relinquish his leadership position, he could've still remained part of the normal ranks, maybe even as a respected member, right? It just seemed wrong, because once upon a time, no doubt Strelein had been a good member of the pack. Otherwise he wouldn't have been a leader. "I just don't see why we should kick a dog that's already down. I mean, yeah, if he's not feeling well he shouldn't be a leader, but he was once upon a time a good leader, right? I just don't like this whole taking-a-person's-dignity thing." Trent didn't even know why on earth he was sticking up for Strelein in this argument he and Alder were having, because he didn't even really know the fallen leader. But he still felt empathy for him. Maybe it was because Trent himself was a chump that was no good to the pack, although it would've made more sense if he would've been one of the kickers then, to cover up his own incompetence, not the one jumping in front of them and telling them no. Trent was confused, and he didn't remember ever thinking this much... Looking up at Alder when he asked the question, Trent hastily said, although he was unable to decipher just why Alder sounded grouchy about it nor why Trent was so hasty to deny, "No. I've only met him once." - Alder - 09-11-2012 [html] [/html] - Trent - 09-11-2012 [html] Damn it, why was this all so hard? Trent didn't really want to upset Alder, but it seemed that with every passing moment, he managed to do so further and further. Neither did he really want to argue about Strelein, someone he didn't even know, for goodness' sake, but was still busily defending the honour of. The coywolf glanced out towards the pasture as they reached the fence, watching as Pony was released into the pasture. He was so lucky to have Alder here, taking care of her, but every attempt at trying to make up to him seemed completely in vain. Well, social skills had never been Trent's strongest point. Alder sounded even more upset when he spoke again, the gate closed and Pony out in the pastures, hunting for the greenest grass there. Trent felt angry and wronged, but he had never been very good at dealing with emotions like those, and so he remained quiet, at first, after Alder told him how he felt very clearly. Trent stroked some hairs out of his face, gaze averted in automatic submission while he searched for the words to say. Talking about Strelein more seemed useless, even though Trent had only started on it not only because he actually meant to visit Strelein, but also to show Alder another side of him. He'd wanted to say 'look, I can be sympathetic to others and try to help them', and 'look, I'm useful for the pack', and so many other things in hopes to win back Alder's friendship, but his plan seemed stupid now. All it had done was made Alder upset, because he didn't feel the same about giving Strelein a second chance, or so Trent thought. "Look, I..." He swallowed, not really sure what he was going to tell Alder. His gaze was still averted. "I'm sorry if you think that he doesn't deserve that I go and try to cheer him up a little, or err, something..." Trent stayed a little more behind Alder now, something he didn't consciously realise, instead of next to him as before. "I just..." The sentence wasn't finished, because Trent didn't really know what to say, and he hadn't a clue what Alder wanted to hear (which was always the trouble with trying to say what others wanted to hear... it could backfire so awfully on you). He sighed lightly, scratching at the fur on his legs to keep himself from fumbling his hands together stupidly. - Alder - 09-12-2012 [html] Alder is rarely such a poop, its fun to play so i couldnt stop! XD [/html] - Trent - 09-12-2012 Haha, I guess Trent brings out the uh, 'best' in him? XD Up to you if Alder is still in the stables or if he'd gone away (it's about ten minutes that Trent stands outside until he goes to the stables and calls). [html] This was all just so confusing. It was one of the first times that Trent thought back to his old home, to his parents, and more specifically, to his mother. The coywolf remembered the discussions they'd had, and she had been one of few to actually take the effort to debat with him about anything. His father didn't really care enough. His mother, well, Trent had never been quite sure if she cared even less than her mate, or if she had cared too much. And, looking at Alder now, Trent didn't know either whether Alder didn't care a shred and didn't want anything to do with the coywolf anymore, or whether he cared so much that he was upset that Trent did things he didn't approve of. It was something that Trent wasn't able to wrap his mind around. He just wanted things to get better, he supposed, and with that Alder's finishing of his sentence was right. But for all Alder's hoping that it would work, things weren't actually getting better; they only got worse before his very eyes. It was evident when he walked away that he didn't want Trent to be there anymore, and the coywolf stood there for a moment. He didn't really want to leave though, but maybe Alder needed some time alone? But what if he'd come back out of the stables and realise that he didn't really want to shred their friendship, that he wanted them to be friends again, and Trent'd be gone? He could hardly stand here all day waiting for Alder to return, though... Neither option seemed very good, staying or going. Trent felt completely desperate, no idea how to fix what he'd unknowingly done. So much for trying to please people and try to get out of his shell... Taking a deep breath and hunching his shoulders a little, Trent eventually -- it had to have been about ten minutes -- made his way to the stables, to find that he was not rooted in place after all. The coywolf stroked his hair back out of his face. "Alder..?" He hesitated as he called into the stable. ".. Are you err, okay?" Trent had no idea if Alder was still in the stables since he'd stood outside for so long; maybe his friend was long gone by now. - Alder - 09-13-2012 [html]far too ashamed by his actions, Alder runs away! D: [/html] - Trent - 09-13-2012 Thank you for the very interesting thread! Can't wait to see how things will progress. >) [html] Trent waited outside after he called, waiting for a response. Waiting... But nothing came. He didn't hear any sounds, either. After a moment of hesitant fidgeting, the coywolf stepped into the barn to see if Alder was still around, if maybe he was just being silent, or... But no. He wasn't there. Trent sighed lightly and ran a hand through his long hairs, not sure what to do next. But he knew there was little he could do. And if Alder was gone, then he was probably not looking for company, anyway. Anything Trent would do now, including tracking Alder down and talking to him, would only make things worse. Giving up, Trent exited the barn, looked around one last time -- nothing -- and started to move slowly back towards the hotel. It wasn't a place he particularly liked, even though it was his home, but it was, well, a home. His mind was heavy with things that had transpired between himself and Alder today, but Trent didn't know how he could change what had happened or make things better, so eventually he put them out of his mind, shifted into his lupus-form halfway through to the hotel, changed direction and did something he hadn't done in a long time; go hunting, embracing his natural instincts. |