hold onto, holding onto you. - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: hold onto, holding onto you. (/showthread.php?tid=5468) |
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- Catharsis de Sadira - 03-27-2009 [html] http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/7081 ... bletop.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Private joining. This post is Anka - the rest will be Catharsis. This is being reposted from PM, where half of it is finished - Kris, post your reply and we can put it up like that. <3 Yay! [WC: 691] Name: Catharsis de Sadira. Anka wasn't entirely sure how this had even happened. It was all fun and games until someone got pregnant. Less of fun and games when that someone was her, and the father had a pack. And a mate. A mate who had just had their first litter as well. Anka wasn't even in their pack.. perhaps lucky, she couldn't be chased out or killed. Ryubi had asked that she never come back. She didn't love him anyhow, and she might not have listened, but she didn't want to die. Not like that, anyhow. Her grandmother had worked too damn hard to keep the girl alive, she had fought too hard to just let go. Ceres, help me, the girl muttered softly, walking in Optime form, her jeans so tattered that they barely hung on. In her old knapsack, the leather covered in thread and fabric from many mendings, slept five puppies, just two months into their lives. Catalyst, the white girl, reminding Anka of her grandmother and her cousin, with one eye blue like them, the other a silvery grey. Avarice, the brown girl with golden eyes like her mother had had, and her perfect match, Roulette, a boy in brown with aqua eyes, the smallest of them. Palindrome, the cream-coloured boy, not quite pale enough to pass for white, his eyes an odd cross between green and gold. And Catharsis.. the dark girl, the only one in black, with just the white patch over her chest, one eye gold and the other red. Her mother and her father. Even in the dark, the female had to close her eyes for a moment. Catharsis, the reason she couldn't keep these pups, the reason she couldn't care for them. The girl was marked already, a scar across the eye, much like the two that Anka herself had. It had been involuntary, a reaction, an instinct. Not her pup, not her own child; she couldn't stand that even one of those eyes was de le Poer, her father, her grandfather. She'd lost it now, her mind couldn't function. She was nothing - the whore of a beta, the mother of bastard children, the daughter of a rapist and a virgin. Her parents had been something beyond wrong, so far beyond it. Ahren had been wrong, even as he had fought to change himself. He would never win. But Anka, she would not allow herself to be as her parents had been. She could not kill that puppy, as much as she longed to, because even as the girl bore the red eye of Ahren, the other was the gold of Aiji, of an innocent corrupted, something that had once been good. And something is Anka told her not to become so cold. But she could not prevent this violence, the violence proven by the child's freshly scarred eye. She only knew where she was going when she got there. She crept over to Cercelee, careful not to disturb her. She laid the five puppies gently against the white female, her cousin, Ceres' granddaughter as surely as she herself was. Before she laid each down, she licked its head softly, and whispered her love to her children as they slept. With them, she left a note which read: Cercelee, With that, the dark girl left, red eyes tightening as she stepped outside, shifted as quickly as she could stand, and took off into the night, terrified of being present when Cercelee awoke. Speak [layout] German English - Cercelee - 03-27-2009 [html] http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/7634 ... bottom.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> The sound of footsteps had come from her dreams, of that she was sure. So careful and precise, no one walked like that in Dahlia de Mai, and not around Cercelee. It had not been enough sound to wake the Rosea from where she lay, just outside the church she called home, dozing easily in the sunlight scattered across the vineyards. Yet the scent that infiltrated her nostrils now, that was not brought about by her subconscious and it startled her awake and the sight that greeted her upon waking was even more of a surprise. Children. Tiny children, two months old if that. Searching for an explanation, the Rosea stared dumbly at the pups for a long moment, knowing that they did not belong to any of the pack, nor anyone she could think of. And knowing now the footsteps had not been a dream. Why hadn’t she awoken? Pulling herself up, Cercelee gently pulled herself apart from the children, navy eyes peering at their sleeping forms. It was then the page caught her eyes and peering closer she realize it was a note. Her reading lessons were coming along, but the skill had not been perfected. All the same, she could make out two very important key parts. She recognized her name, and she could make out “Sadira” at the very bottom. This showed her that a) the pups were indeed intended for her and they were of Sadira origin. Someone knew her, trusted her, and had made her guardian to these five children. Suddenly she felt very small, a memory she had long forgotten surging back up. I can't keep her anymore Laruku. Her father’s voice, one she hadn’t heard in so long. And I can't have her. Can't. She... I... I hate her Laruku. I don't want her. Then he had been gone. Laruku took her in, no questions asked. Nausea swept over the Rosea then, more voices flooding her thoughts. Yeah okay, you can sleep in my den tonight... and for as long as you'd like.. And for the rest of her time in Clouded Tears Laruku had acted like a father to her, or as best he could anyway. Now he was dead, just as Adrastos might be, and she as Haku should be. Three fathers, passing her around like a joint. Yet Laruku had been the very best one of them all, and she knew that if it were he, not her standing here, he would take them in. Cercelee owed him this. Tentatively she prodded the sleeping child, the dark black pup, with her nose, oh so gently. - Catharsis de Sadira - 03-27-2009 [html] http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/7081 ... bletop.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> [WC: 347] Catharsis slept with few dreams. Sometime when dusk had fallen and she had been asleep in a pile with her siblings, they had gone for a ride. Mama brought them for rides sometimes, she in her tall form, and them in her bag. Catharsis liked it in there, except when Catalyst kicked in her sleep, which Catharsis thought she might do on purpose. The pup sighed in her sleep as a nose touched her. Groggily, she became aware that she wasn't in the bag anymore. The realization was odd, because Mama always woke them up when they got home. When she looked up, someone white was over her.. Catalyst? "Cat, why are you so big?!" she sputtered in confused German. Was this a scary dream? Roulette sometimes had scary dreams, but not Catharsis. Looking (and smelling) closer, it was not her sister, for Catalyst still lay with the rest of her siblings, on the ground in a strange place. And this one, the white female, had two blue eyes like Catalyst's one... Cat had a silver eye too, though. Catharsis blinked sleepily with one eye, the golden one, the red still sealed by a healing wound. The one Mama had given her, for having her grandaddy's eye. Catharsis remembered that her Mama had talked about her own grandmama, a white lady called Ceres. But Ceres was dead, Mama said. The pup whined softly, "Who are you? Where is Mama?!" The black pup had never been around anyone besides her mother and siblings, and was beginning to feel scared. If Mama was there, she would be okay, but not all by herself. What if this white lady wasn't nice? She looked nice.. but was she? The little black girl hoped so, because if not, she and her brothers and sisters were in so much trouble. Maybe Ceres wasn't dead. Did dead mean forever? Maybe not, Mama never said. "Ceres? Are you Ceres Sadira?" the pup asked hopefully. 'Mama, where are you? Come back..' she thought to herself desperately. She had to come back. She just had to. Right? Speak [layout] German English - Cercelee - 03-27-2009 [html] http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/7634 ... bottom.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> The child woke up and Cercelee felt guilty for the confusion, and perhaps fear, she read on the youth’s face. The words that came from the girl’s lips were thick and foreign, they could not be decoded by Cercelee’s brain, she wasn’t even sure what language the child spoke. She could hear the inflections as the girl spoke, knowing she was being asked questions, but helpless to answer. Than a name she recognized, and Cercelee laid her ears flat against her skull. Ceres Sadira. Perhaps it was her association with the dead lady that had brought the pups here today. As if sharing blood with a ghost made her trustworthy. Well, Cercelee was trustworthy, but not because of that. Shaking her head, she hoped she could convey to the child what needed to be said. Ceres is dead. I’m Cercelee. The names were similar, so much in fact many of her relatives believed her to be named in honor of the matriarch. Maybe they were right, Cer hoped they were wrong, but only Adrastos really knew. It was unlikely that she would get to ask him again. Navy eyes swept over the sleeping children again. Were they truly meant for her? Again she regarded the note, unable to fully read it. Would their mother return? Was she suppose to do something more with them? So many questions, and she doubted she could get any answers from the child. They did not even speak the same language. Who is your mother? Where’d she go? - Catharsis de Sadira - 03-27-2009 [html] http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/7081 ... bletop.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> [WC: 300] Catharsis struggled with the words. English was confusing; her mother had spoken it sometimes, especially when reading, but she usually translated most things to German. But the pup had known that Ceres was dead, just not the weight of the statement. As she processed this, a different name was given her: Cercelee. It sounded similar. Maybe names changed a little when someone came back from the dead? The pup didn't understand, but she figured out that Cercelee was the name of the female, and nodded. "You are.. Cercelee. I am Catharsis. My name is Catharsis de Sadira." The German was softer from the throat of a puppy, a female one at that, and it wasn't too different from English. She tried to say it in English anyhow. "Name Catharsis de Sadira..." She knew it was wrong, but at least she had tried. The next question came too soon. Mother.. that word, she knew. Mutter, mother, very similar. Was she asking where Mama was? Or who she was? That was her best guess. The pup spluttered as fast as she could. "Where is Mama? Her name is Anka. Anka de Sadira. She is black with red eyes. Did you see her? Is she here?" Pausing, she realized that German really was getting her nowhere. She tried English, wearily. "Mother Anka de Sadira. See mother? Mama go? Red black is. Mama here?" The girl felt tired.. English was so hard to speak. She could understand it, sort of, but she didn't think she was making sense. Nothing was making sense. Where was her mother? The girl glanced at her siblings with her one good eye. Should she wake them? She was scared. Slowly, she sunk down to the ground and whimpered helplessly, hoping Cercelee had an answer for all of this confusion. German English - Cercelee - 03-27-2009 [html] http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/7634 ... bottom.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> More foreign words came forth and Cercelee picked out her own name and what she guessed to be the child’s. Cercelee furrowed her brows and frowned, not at the girl, but in general. It would be hard to communicate this way. Yet her moment of unhappiness did not last long, the girl blurted out a few words in English and Cercelee smiled in relief. Hello there, Catharsis. Cercelee sounded calm, cheerful even, as if this were all so very ordinary. She felt that her being upset would only upset the pup further, and the others when they awoke. They would have a hard enough time adjusting. Anka de Sadira. Cercelee scanned her memory and came up with a cousin, long since gone from these lands, and Cercelee nodded. What had Cer said to make Anka trust her so? Or maybe Anka didn’t trust her at all, maybe Anka was wanted somewhere, anywhere, to drop the children at. Even without reading the note fully, the white lady knew Anka wouldn’t be returning, not anytime soon. No, I did not see your mother, but she is not here. She paused, how could she say for sure if she was coming back or not? Dodging Cercelee tried to change the subject. Perhaps we should take your brothers and sisters inside, it’s warmer there. Better for sleeping. What would Slay say? - Catharsis de Sadira - 03-27-2009 [html] http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/7081 ... bletop.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> [WC: 343] Catharsis tilted her head as she listened, sorting the words out, translating them. She understood the gist. Mama wasn't here. Go inside. Bring the others. Sleep. The pup had just woken up, but she was exhausted from all of this thinking. Yawning softly, she nudged Catalyst's side. "Cat.. Cat, wake up. Come on." The motion worked like a wave, and slowly, each of the puppies woke up and stumbled to their unsteady paws, yawning and running into each other. Catharsis felt awkward.. how would she explain this to them? No matter, as soon as they were inside, everyone curled up and went back so sleep. Someone muttered for her to join, but she didn't, and everyone was sleeping again before another protest could arise. Catharsis slumped down nearby her siblings, resting her head on her front paws, and made a sound that crossed a whimper and a sigh. She wanted to go home. Now. Home wasn't an option, it seemed. Catharsis didn't know which way it was. Mama would come back to find them. She was probably hunting. Maybe she decided they shouldn't be alone while she went somewhere to get them something special. Yes, that was it. Mama was getting them a treat, a surprise, but they couldn't be alone. It would be a long journey, but Mama wanted to give her babies something special. Despite knowing better, despite the feeling in her gut, the feeling of being deserted, abandoned and alone, the thought comforted her, and she laughed softly. Looking at Cercelee, she felt almost calmed by the female. Unlike Catalyst, whose white pelt and pale eyes made her seem cold and icy, Cercelee just looked pure. Like the angels in Mama's books. The little black girl smiled. In broken English, she spoke to the female. "We.. stay?" She wasn't sure how to word her thoughts in English. Was this her new home, until Mama came back? Looking around, she felt a pang of guilt for betraying her mother.. because she honestly hoped, somewhere in her, that the answer was yes. German English - Slaying the Dreamer - 03-27-2009 [html] Slaying the Dreamer
[/html] - Cercelee - 04-01-2009 [html] http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/7634 ... bottom.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Navy eyes watched as the small children filed in the backdoor, finding a suitable sleeping space on the stone floor of the kitchen and quickly became once more a mass of sleeping children. Gingerly she took hold of the note and brought it in, setting it on the rickety table. Perhaps Mew or Lubomir could make sense of it for her. Turning back to the child, who seemed to be growing tired but staying awake, and the others who seemed to listen to their sibling without questions, she smiled sadly. Surely they were confused, and perhaps this puppy would explain it all to them when they really woke up. The small voice, her English poor but passable, made Cer turn back and she nodded, warmly. “Yes, you will be staying here.” Forever or just for a while? Cercelee didn’t know. And then from the bedroom he emerged and the white lady turned to face her mate, tail wavering slowly behind her. She did not have to say a word before the questions came, and Cercelee only hoped that an argument would not ensue. Catharsis and her sibling did not need anymore stress placed upon them. Moving over, she nipped at his cheek, trying to make the information a little easier to take in. “They are my cousin’s children. They will be staying here with us.” Cercelee turned her eyes up at the male questioningly, waiting for approval despite her words being a factual statement. This was his home as much as her’s, and Rosea or no he did have an equal say in their lives. Certainly he had the sense not to say anything too stupid in front of the children. - Catharsis de Sadira - 04-01-2009 [html] http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/7081 ... bletop.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> [WC: 399; WotD: 'jape'] Catharsis was young, but she wasn't stupid. The male's words were confusing. The word 'kid' sounded like 'kind'.. child. Did he mean them? He seemed curious.. and alarmed, worried. He hadn't been expecting them. From her reaction, Cercelee hadn't been, either, but she was nice enough. Like Mama had said about Ceres. She must be Ceres' ghost, or.. something. Maybe another Ceres, Ceres from another planet or dimension. Or a twin! In any case, she was plenty nice.. and the male didn't seem very nice. Catharsis didn't like boys anyhow. Palindrome was distant, and Roulette was Avarice's little sidekick. She wasn't particularly close to either of them. And her father... well, her Mama had never said much about him. And what she had said, sure wasn't nice. Maybe no boys were nice. That made sense. Listening to the two adults talk, Cercelee's words made very little sense. What was a cousin? Catharsis didn't know. She didn't like how this was going - maybe it wasn't real. She bet the others were all playing a trick on her.. a jape, that's what this was. Mama was going to jump out any moment and laugh at her for being so silly. The girl's golden eye scanned the room, the red one still covered by a scab, looking for places Mama could be hiding. She didn't see a trace of the other dark female, though, and frowned slightly. Her attention turned back to the adults, and tilted her head. Who was the male, anyhow? She'd never heard of anyone who looked like that. He was black and white, in a odd pattern - did many others living here look like that? She wasn't sure. There was so much she didn't know. She sighed and pressed her face against her paw. Ugh. This was exhausting. So exhausting. She just wanted to sleep. But she wasn't sure that was safe yet. Looking up at the two adult wolves, she said quietly, "Hi, mister.." She knew that word from her Mama - she taught them how to address older English-speaking wolves a couple days ago. Maybe there was a reason.. No! Mama didn't desert them. She just wanted them to be safe while she was on her dangerous journey. Yes. That was it. This must be a safe place. Just to be sure, though, she asked tentatively, "Is safe here?" Oh, the young and naive. German English - Palindrome de Sadira - 04-01-2009 [html] http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/3613/palindromes.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Character Name: Palindrome de Sadira Character Birthdate (including year): February 7th, 2009 Whether s/he is a regular wolf or a Luperci: Yes Species: Wolfie! Gender: Male A secondary form of contact: My AIM is rawrforsammy How did you learn/hear about 'Souls?: Eh, just Internet surfing when I came across another wolf site that my friend is a member on. It wasn't really my style so I searched through their affiliates. Then, came 'Souls. (: Initial post:
- Slaying the Dreamer - 04-02-2009 [html] Slaying the Dreamer
[/html] - Cercelee - 04-06-2009 [html] http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/7634 ... bottom.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Cercelee smiled as her mate attempted to interact with the puppies, male were always so clueless when it came to children. Cercelee had been unsure herself. She had never taken much interest in children, but seeing Firefly’s for the first time changed that. They had been perfect, Dahlia’s next generation. And now, here were some she could think of as her own, able to raise them properly in ways Firefly and Haku might not with their own, and these ones wouldn’t go missing. Despite her young age and inexperience, she knew she would be fine. And Slay would too. Another child awoke and stumbled over to them and Cercelee bent down, meeting the young boy nose to nose. Palindrome and Catharsis. They were interesting names Anka had chosen, she would soon learn the other’s as well. Cercleee had no time to answer the boy’s question, Slay seemed willing enough to do it and so she simply introduced herself, wondering if the male would make the same connection of Ceres by her name. Had Anka hung onto her dead grandmother so? “Cercelee.” Her head turned back to Slay, she smiled as he shakily asked for reassurance. Her mind was already set, even if she owed Anka nothing, she owed Laruku a favor and he’d never allow her to pay him back. This was how it was meant to be. And even so, Slay knew they could never turn away children, not in this pack and though she could easily request anyone else take in the pups, Anka had put them in her care. They were meant for her. “Yes, I am sure.” She licked his muzzle again, he would soon grow to love the idea, she felt. Soon enough it would seem so natural to come home to a church full of children. - Catharsis de Sadira - 04-07-2009 [html] Not on my computer, can't be arsed with getting my table. [WC: 446] ___ When Palindrome awoke, Catharsis felt something between dread and relief. At least now, she wasn't the only one who didn't know exactly what was going on. The girl nuzzled her brother's cheek lightly as she spoke in German. "The white one is Cercelee. I think she's Ceres. Remember Mama told us about her? I don't know who the other one is. They're family, I guess." She paused, trying to remember everything her brother had asked, all rushed and confused. He was overwhelmed, just as she was. She didn't know whether that was a good or a bad thing. It was good to know she wasn't alone. However, someone had to be sensible, and she was pretty sure that it wouldn't be her. ___ "I don't know where Mama is. I think we're at the place Mama used to talk about... the one her mama and father lived in." She was, of course, talking about Souls, but she couldn't remember for the life of her what this place was called, so she simply didn't call it by name. Palindrome would understand what she was referring to. As much as the two were not terribly close, they had an understanding. Besides that, Mama didn't talk about many things or places that weren't related to the past. She was full of stories, always. Some happy, some sad. But always something. Sometimes, Catharsis had wondered if her Mama missed this place. And now she had brought them here, which meant she was coming back. She just had to. ___ Turning her attention to the male, who had just introduced himself as Slay. "You slay? Like kill?" She had never heard that word used as a name; Mama used it to describe what she did to food, when she spoke in English. English wasn't the main language where they had lived - German was. Catharsis was unaware of her grandfather's ancestry, but had she known Ahren de le Poer, and been a little older, she might have found it ironic. Then again, if she'd known, Anka would have too, and she wouldn't have let her children utter even a word of it. If there was one thing Catharsis knew, it was that Ahren had not been a nice wolf. Mama said so. And Mama obviously knew best. ___ As Cercelee and this Slay wolf conversed, Catharsis leaned against her brother - something she wouldn't do normally, since Palindrome and she had never been incredibly close, but this was a different situation. She was worried, scared, and lonely. "Mama is coming back, Pal. Right?" Her voice begged for reassurance, the reassurance that neither of the pups could give each other.. because they just didn't know. - Palindrome de Sadira - 04-08-2009 [html] http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/3613/palindromes.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> WC: 417
- Slaying the Dreamer - 04-08-2009 [html] Slaying the Dreamer
[/html] - Cercelee - 04-10-2009 [html] http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/7634 ... bottom.png); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Cercelee’s ears perked at the two pups conversing so fluently in the foreign language, she caught her own name and Ceres’s, and when the male pup spoke he indeed referred to her as Ceres. Well, despite her distaste for the ghost she would allow the children to call her so, if it comforted them. Was that why Anka had left them here, was she suppose to follow in the matriarch’s footsteps? Cer wasn’t sure, but she knew she’d do her best by the children, for as long as they stayed. For as long as Anka left them here. She smiled at Slay and shrugged easily. “Ceres and Slay Slay, Mama and Papa… we’re whatever they want.” Or whatever they needed. Cercelee didn’t mind, they were young after all, she could indulge them now if she was to ever. Perhaps for now it was enough. In the morning they would explain it to the other pups, set down ground rules. They would be fed, protected, sheltered and in return they only had to mind herself and Slay, return to the church when night fell, try not to get under foot of the other pack members. They’d have a pretty easy life for the next few months, unless they went out of their way to cause trouble. For now though, Cercelee was ready to sleep. “Aren’t you two tired? You can sleep here or in the bedroom…” She spoke slow and gestured to the room. It would be weird sharing their bedroom, so tiny already, with the children but if it made them feel safer she was prepared to. Of course, in the morning too they could open the doors to the church area of the building and the pups could make playgrounds and beds out of the pews, confessional booths and altars if they wished. She couldn’t think of a better use for the grand building than that. - Catharsis de Sadira - 04-11-2009 [html] Sorry for the delay. Holidays+life=busy. [WC: 348] ___ Slay's explanation made vague sense, but not really. "Hunt. Kill.. slay.. to eat? Rabbit?" He had said that he didn't kill worlves, but food. Rabbits were food. If he was telling the truth, then he would know what she was talking about. She whispered to Palindrome, "Slay says he doesn't kill wolves. Just food. Like Mama did for us. That means he's good, I think." She wasn't entirely sure about that last statement, but she had to comfort her brother somehow. "And Cercelee is Ceres, and you know Mama said that Ceres was good. So she's good. That makes sense, right?" The question was to gain reassurance that her logic was sound - Palindrome would agree, and she would feel better. She was as unsure as he was. She would just have to become sure. ___ Cercelee spoke, a question. "Tired," she restated, and punctuated it with a yawn. Yes, she was tired. But where to sleep? Catharsis considered the options, and glanced at her sleeping siblings. After a long moment, she proclaimed, "Three here. We too." she nodded, then whispered to Palindrome, "We'll stay here with them. I don't wanna wake them up again. 'Kay?" She knew, at this point, that her brother would do anything she said, so long as she said something. She'd never seen Palindrome so afraid, and truthfully, she was afraid too. Very, very afraid. This was all so new, and confusing. And even if Ceres and Slay Slay - that was, Cercelee and Slay - were good, she was still afraid. What about Mama? She must be coming back. She had to believe that. ___ Gently, she nudged her brother towards their other siblings, and curled herself close to them. "I'll sleep on this side, and you sleep on that side. When they wake up, they'll be scared. We'll need to protect them. Explain what's happened. Okay, Pal?" She glanced at Cercelee and Slay for a moment. "You tired? Sleep?" she asked drowsily, yawning softly as she did. It was far past her bedtime, but she had to stay awake, just a little longer. - Slaying the Dreamer - 04-27-2009 [html] Slaying the Dreamer
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