the light's gone out inside - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: the light's gone out inside (/showthread.php?tid=873) |
- Fatin Kali - 01-25-2008 [html] Getting Phasma to the house had been difficult. Fatin was not that tall, carrying Phasma's body had been a task she was not built properly for. The tears had continued to flow down her cheeks, and as she dug the hole free sobs had left her body. A mother was not made to bury her children. She was incapable of realizing her own fragile existence because it was a thought she could not handle. She, who had issues with being abandoned, thus she continued to collect family members like they were trading cards. How could she leave anyone? She had lovingly smoothed the female's fur, trying to fit her into a position that was the most appropriate and honorable. She stood there, still and cold for a long, long time just looking down at Phasma's body. Snow began to fall atop her, and Fatin stood there shivering, unable to commence with burying her daughter. "You have to find your peace Phasma....my darling, darling girl, you will have your peace. Your babies will be there too, and you will all be happy...." Stumbling through the goodbye, she whimpered softly and reached for the shovel. Tears fell, striking the sand and the dirt and the snow and the ice - the elements mixed and slowly, the grave filled. For an hour or so, Fatin stood there, shaking as she realized this was it. Phasma Kiles, her Beta, her Daughter, was gone. "I love you..." She whispered hoarsely. She turned back to Jaded Shadows, somewhere along the line she entered the Haunted Forest. A fallen log became her resting place, and she wept yet again, unable to let go of the girl who had held so much. - Valentine Valiant - 01-25-2008 [html] Death was a funny thing to Valentine, who had never witnessed it for what it did. He had the grace that some didn't get; both parents were alive and well and still relatively young in their age. But he had known that Phasma was not old at all. She couldn't have been ill either, he imagined, because he had just spoken with her at a good length about the things that they had equally missed. Somehow he felt like there was something amiss when it came to the day as it had unfolded and the congregation had split from the den and oddly enough he cleanly remembered words that his mother had imparted to him. There was ever a cloud of misery hanging over the place.[/html] - Fatin Kali - 01-25-2008 [html] Her first instinct to his touch was a shudder. Not that it was unpleasant, but that it was unexpected. Her eyes of bright, strong green traveled up his arm and finally rested on his face. Fretfully she attempted to make herself presentable, one hand wiping the tears off her cheek and the other tentatively reaching out to grasp his hand. "I wasn't expecting anyone..." she whispered, as if to justify her state. It was hard to speak properly without the hitch in her throat. How could she not handle this better? This, life without her daughter, she had lost time and time again and yet it hit her just as hard now as it ever had. With a long, drawn out sigh she scooted over, dropping her hold on his hand instead to give him room to sit if he wanted. She leaned on her legs, hands toying with themselves without her knowledge. "She wasn't even my daughter - but she should have been. As much that touched us and twined us together, we deserved one another." She said, and tried to laugh. She failed. "I buried her today, out by the Syemv house on a rise where she could see it and the sea always. I.....I hope she'd like it. I think she would." She was unaware of the dirt on her body, and the fact that she had left the shovel out by the grave. Eventually, she'd return and retrieve it, and place a proper burial stone there marking Phasma's grave. Looking at the much younger male she paused, wondering how he was doing. "I'm sorry Valentine...it looks like every time we run into each other, I just smother you with words..." Was it really a bad thing? Sometimes Fatin thought she was too outspoken, and didn't hold enough inside. however, she could not find a way to hold herself in. She wanted to lean on others, she just simply wasn't strong enough to hold her own head up. - Valentine Valiant - 01-25-2008 [html] The sentiment that Fatin and Phasma had a mother-daughter relationship did bring a bit of a smile to his face, though it was pained just as much as her poor attempts at laughter. He sat beside her on the old log, his height slouching better to her level and beyond as though he was physically weighed down by such a sudden loss. “It's all right,” he offered to her wordiness, knowing that it was easier for some to talk things out than bottle them up. That was one thing that he surely took from his parents, that enabling ability to bottle things up and store them away. Perhaps one day he'd choose to spoil his liver on them like a long lost leader had, but that thought was neither here nor there. He was very rarely conscious of his throwback quirks of inheritance.[/html] - Fatin Kali - 01-25-2008 [html] She wished she could have told Akumu. She figured that Akumu would probably have known what Phasma would have enjoyed as a final viewpoint. Fatin somehow, just wanted someone to stand beside her and go "yeah, that's what she would have wanted' or condemn her for putting Phasma somewhere that she would be miserable for all her days. "I hope so...that's one of those things you just dont think to talk about." She said quietly. "People are too afraid to talk about it really...I Know I am." If she died, who would bury her? Who would be the one to think of where to put her? The only place she felt at home enough was in her own solitary den in Jaded Shadows. There, she could properly return to the earth without stinking up the pack's den space. "I know..." She said quietly, looking at him for a moment before she took a deep breath. "She had so much sadness in her past....maybe it just weighed her down too far." How did Fatin survive then? She was too afraid to die. "At least it wasn't painful, at least that she let on. It seemed peaceful, quiet." The best way to go, no doubt. No pain, no remorse. Just peacefully dipping into slumber for the final, deep, everlasting rest. - Valentine Valiant - 01-25-2008 [html] If sorrow could truly weight someone down to the point where they simply gave up, then Valentine found himself suddenly wanting to find something else to do. Something to take his mind out of the vicious cycle of thought and all of those what ifs that threw themselves at the gate. He felt like Fatin could afford to be upset about the entire thing because after all, it was her daughter that they were talking about. She knew so much more about her, leaving Valentine to vaguely grasp at his emotions awkwardly. He was by no means overly emotional, but there was something about the rapid succession of everything that had left him feeling raw. He forced his gaze to meet hers, although he would have sooner looked at his own feet on the ground.[/html] - Fatin Kali - 01-25-2008 [html] His words caught her off guard. It was odd to think that yes, most people were miserable here. Most people did not find happiness. "In a way, it's the truth. And she of all people should know it." She pondered over her own life, trying to make a list of pros and cons that had happened here. "I know I haven't had an easy life....but I dont think it matters how much sadness you have, so long as you dont give up." She said softly. Maybe it was the mantra that she lived by, because she never could give up. "I hope you can't complain too much...you're still so young. Did you know that I'll be six come May?" She said, a small smile growing on her face. Most people had no idea, she was blessed by her mother's good genes and graceful aging. Her fur had yet to start fading, and her hair was still as bright and vibrant as ever. "But don't worry too much over it....life is too short to constantly fret over things we can't directly change." Why was she throwing her life lessons at the poor boy? With a sigh and a rather unattractive sniffle, she turned her head towards him. "How have you been anyways? Being honest, I hate winter. I hole myself up until it's over." Thus, she had been avoiding the word, her pack included. Maybe there was something interested she missed. - Valentine Valiant - 01-25-2008 [html] Valentine found her words to be cryptic on a certain level, as though there was something about his mother and her past that he didn't really know about. Although he was sure that he could take his own various whacks at it, just as he could his father. But the thoughts were pocketed as Fatin spoke on and he took an interest in what she had to say. “Well, I can't say that I have much of anything to complain about, but I've only lived about two years, and most of that away from here.” Two years had certainly flown by quickly, even if he still had another fourth of a year to go before he could consider himself a full-fledged adult by any maturity means. Six wasn't all that old either, he thought, because Fatin didn't look old. She looked older than he did, which was expected, but still quite youthful.[/html] |