you stand there shaking in the pew - Printable Version +- 'Souls IPB Archive (November 2007–October 2012) (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb) +-- Forum: Dead IC (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=110) +--- Forum: Dead Topics (https://soulsrpg.com/ipb/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: you stand there shaking in the pew (/showthread.php?tid=9929) |
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- Cambria Marino - 03-03-2010 [html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> <3 300+ The sky outside was overcast and perfectly matched the young Marino's mood. It was amazing how an event that had seemed so amazing and full of promise had so quickly disintegrated into something that left her feeling embarrassed and rejected. Ever since that afternoon with Mati she had been even more closed off and down than she had been before, for now not only thoughts of what her uncle had done plagued her but being pushed away by the one she liked did as well. The attraction had come suddenly and inextricably, but more powerful than anything the young wolf had experienced thus far. Perhaps it wouldn't bother her so much if it hadn't seemed like Mati had wanted it too at first. Indeed, it seemed like the emotions had been mutual. That fantasy had been dashed when the older fey had broken away from their embrace however. Cambria had left the other's studio and room quickly afterwords and had been avoiding running into her ever since. She felt like an enormous fool and seeing the other fey would only make it worse.
Her slender form was sprawled out on her soft mattress, front paws hanging off the edge with her chin resting on top of them. Sea foam orbs were directed at the floor, though they stared at nothing in particular. Unfocused they looked into the beyond, into the myriad of troubling thoughts that dominated her brain. Enzo was perched between her shoulders, hunkered down with his feathers fluffed up. The dove might have very well fallen asleep with how still his companion stayed. The only motion she displayed was the slow and steady rise and fall of her torso from breathing. If only there was something to distract her. Maybe when her mother had the new puppies she would be distracted from all this mess and be able to be happy again. She hoped she would be able to be a good big sister for the forthcoming pups. - Kansas Sadira - 03-11-2010 [html]
- Cambria Marino - 03-17-2010 [html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 300+ Thoughts raged through her mind, her focus bouncing between her uncle and Mati. Both were subjects she simply wanted to run away from but could not escape. Eventually she would have to face them both. Ehno because he was family and no matter how mad at him she was and how she was she wouldn't be able to avoid seeing him forever. Mati because she was part of the pack, and also the pack's Nanny, so when her mother had the pups there was no doubt in her mind that the Church femme would be helping to take care of them some of the time. In fact, the birth of the pups would bring the family together again, no doubt, so she might even have to be around them both at the same time. Oh, what an awful prospect, she thought inwardly and groaned softly. She was excited for her little siblings and didn't want these unpleasant prospects dampening the momentous occasion.
She had faintly heard the sound of approaching paws, but hadn't thought that they would be stopping at her door and so had paid them no mind. When a bark sounded outside her room though her ears perked up and her gaze focused curiously on her door. Who would come see her? That question was quickly answered though as her father's voice filtered through the wooden barrier. Her tail gave a weak wag. Even when she was in such a foul mood seeing her dad would make things better. "Yeah Daddy, please do," she called out to him, straightening her head up so it was no longer hanging off the edge of her bed. Enzo shifted also with her movement, emitting a soft coo. Cambria hoped that they could stay away from the sticky subjects that plagued her, but she knew that her daddy would know that something was bothering her and would want to help her. Hopefully he would be able to and she wouldn't feel too nervous telling him what was going on. - Kansas Sadira - 03-20-2010 [html]
- Cambria Marino - 03-24-2010 [html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> 300+ No matter how grown up she was, she'd always want and need her daddy. Kansas made her feel special, and beautiful, and there were so few people who made her feel that way. She had thought perhaps Mati would be one of those people (she already was somewhat without even trying), but it didn't seem that would happen now. Cambria was convinced the older wolfess didn't see her the way that she saw her. She hadn't expected that idea to hurt so much, but it did. Her father would never hurt her though. He would never do anything as thoughtless as her uncle had or push her away like Mati had. He would always be there for her and she would always be his little girl, even if she wouldn't technically be his "littlest" for much longer. Even if she were sad she would enjoy the company of her father before he had to focus on the new litter.
He entered her room and despite herself she felt a smile lift the corners of her mouth and her tail give a happy wag. It was proof of how happy her dad made her that even when she was in such a state he could make her react like that. As he sat and before he spoke she leaned forward and rubbed her muzzle against his face, wishing she were small enough again to have him curl around her and protect her from everything the world threatened her with. As he asked the question she knew he would she felt her lungs deflate and a sigh rushed from her throat. "A lot," she admitted, defeatedly. "Uncle Ehno." Surprisingly though, that wasn't the thing causing her the most turmoil. "And...I like someone. I don't think they like me back though..." she said, the pain filtering back into her voice. Soon she would have to reveal her preference for the same sex, but for now she still kept it hidden from him, still nervous of how he would take it. - Kansas Sadira - 04-01-2010 [html]
- Cambria Marino - 04-15-2010 [html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> sorry for the delay love <3 I am too, I love their daddy/daughter chemistry ^^ 300+ Some kids may feel the need to leave the nest and go out to explore the worlds for themselves, but Cambria would never be among their numbers. The outside world had always scared her more than it interested her. Perhaps it was a bit foolish to be afraid of what lay beyond the borders of her home, but it was simply the way she had always felt. But more than that though, she couldn't think of a single thing out there that was more appealing to her than staying where she was. The girl didn't seek adventure, she sought comfort, and everything and everyone who comforted her were right here. Her family was here, her friends were here. That was all she wanted. Crimson Dreams would remain her home as long as her family was here. She wanted to remain with her parents and siblings and aunt and cousin. True, Conor didn't live here, but he was close and she could see him whenever she wished to, at least that had been the case before the war. Her father slid closer to her and she could feel his proximity chase away some of the shadows that haunted her. It was a temporary fix that would likely disappear not long after they parted, but any reprieve was a welcome one, even if they were speaking of the things that plagued her thoughts and dampened her spirit. The young Marino listened to her dad, taking in his wise words concerning the situation with her uncle. She knew he spoke the truth, and it was easier to swallow coming from him than from many others, but it would still take time before she could forgive Ehno, if she ever could. It was a deep hurt that he had brought down on her. "I'll try to remember that, it's just hard. My heart doesn't want to forgive him yet..." Cambi leaned into his nuzzle, drawing in even more of his compassion. She licked her lips, trying to put her hurt feelings into words. Should she tell him now that it was a girl that she liked and not a boy? She knew she shouldn't be nervous telling him, he would never stop loving her, but it still scared her a little. "I thought that maybe they did, but when I went to hug them they kind of stepped away from me and seemed to clam up. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I don't know. I've never liked anyone before, maybe I'm not what she wants." It had slipped it, that fateful "she". Cambria glanced back over to her father, waited with baited breath to see how he would react to this revelation about her, his daughter. - Kansas Sadira - 05-08-2010 [html]
- Cambria Marino - 05-25-2010 [html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> someday I'll reply to this in a decent amount of time x.x 300+ She was glad to be like her father. The girl had never expected to be strong or outgoing or any of those traits most people valued. It just hadn't been in her to be those things. She wasn't like her mother in those ways, but that was okay. Deficiency might have been a worry that plagued her younger days, but as she had grown she had come to see that there was nothing wrong with the way she was. Her sea foam eyes saw more things too, things that she had missed as a pup. Yes, her mother was strong, but there were things that even wore her down. No matter what though, her dad was always there for her, just as he was always there for all of them. It was a different kind of strength, a different kind of usefulness, and she hoped that someday she could be that kind of support to those around her as Kansas was to their family. If Cambria didn't have him to talk to she didn't know what she would do. There were few that, in situations such as these, she felt comfortable confiding in. Her father was always at the top of the list though. Not only did he comfort her, but he always had words of wisdom to share with his daughter. Things that made sense to her that might not coming from any other mouth. It was because she trusted him completely and she knew he would never do anything to steer her down the wrong path. He also never pushed her, which more appreciated than she could say. He always knew the exact right way to handle these issues with her. The girl nodded her head, making a promise that she wouldn't give up on Ehno, even if she wanted to right now. Cambria waited nervously for her father's reaction to her admission. The silence was almost maddening in these moments and it was only his calming presence that kept her from losing it. When he spoke though, there was no real mention of it. No surprise in his voice, no judgment, no disappointment. To him, it was only a new fact about her, and one that was perfectly fine. Cambi sighed in relief, leaning into again, so thankful she had such a wonderful man as her dad. She hadn't thought of Mati as being shy. Could that be it? She didn't know. She wanted to believe it, but she was still afraid of being hurt more. "I...I'm just afraid. What if she really doesn't like me? I've been hiding because I'm so afraid to see her again. I don't want to see everything I'm worried I might see on her face..." His last words caught her off guard and she looked him, astonishment on her features. "You...you think I'm strong?" Of course he would never lie to her, but still, she had never expected to hear those words. - Kansas Sadira - 05-31-2010 [html]
- Cambria Marino - 06-25-2010 [html] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... nzoban.jpg); background-position: bottom center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> awful wait, yet again. I R sorries :< maybe wrap this up? 300+ What had happened to her was the darkest part of her past and her memories and she had worked hard to try and forget it all. What her uncle had done was bad enough, but the compound her deep sense or betrayal was the fact that it had brought all those awful memories to the surface again. She could remember the depression and melancholy that had consumed her for so long clear as day. Not to mention the frightening experience of having the powerful substance run rampant through her small body and wreaking havoc. None of that had helped her to want to forgive her uncle any. Perhaps, when all of that trauma faded back into the shadows, she would be more willing to move on and forgive his transgression. It would still be some time before that happened, however. His confirmation of her strength made the girl blush beneath her dark fur. It was true, she was stronger than she had been when she was younger, but she had never pictured herself as a strong person. Everything about her was mild, which she had come to learn wasn't anything to be ashamed of. It helped her to be a compassionate person and healer. Though when she thought of it, she did feel a certain strength when it came to healing. When she was working for someone's well being, she could be strong to keep them calm and make them better. Perhaps that was the strength that her father saw inside of her. Back to the matters of the heart though, Cambria was surprised, and eager, to get this small glimpse at her parents past. Their love had always been so evident to her that in her mind she somewhat foolishly assumed that they had always been together and had never had any of the rocky situations that most relationships did. Hearing her father speak of his own fears when he was falling in love with her mother, it made the clouds that were smothering her mood shine with rays of hope on their edges. If her father had been afraid like she was, and things had worked out because he had talked to her mother...then maybe there was hope for her feelings towards Mati. Cambi took a deep breath, nuzzling her face against the pale fur of her sire. "Okay. I'll be brave, and talk to her." Easier said than done, but she would try. "Thank you daddy," she said softly, her tail padding against the mattress. - Kansas Sadira - 06-30-2010 [html]
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