insecure Mati is insecure :/
Her fingers seemed to melt against the soft fur of Cambria, the tips filtering into the strands and just barely touching the skin below. Mati felt the connection, as if electricity was running through them both. Small as it was Mati felt as if her knees had grown weak and her mind was now lost completely to anything that did not include the she-wolf that hugged her. It was a place she had never been to, a level of contentment that Mati had yet to know. The world slipped away, time no longer a concern, the places and faces of the outer realm fading. The face of her last crush; mere whispers of lines and shapes of features, the colors of his eyes and tones turning to a grayscale and loosing contrast. She was the most vivid in Mati’s mind, her color holding all that could be capture in the spectrum. Mati’s were dull compared to the warm sea that of the other’s gaze, she felt like the color of the world, her own brown tones, the sun that shown through the large windows, the paints drying on her pallet all fed the radiance that shone from the younger woman.
Eyes watched as the down turned face moved to look at hers. Mati did not move as she had thought she might. It was okay when she was not faced with whom she hugged, the pressure of her beauty not looking to the mask of tarnished browns that Mati’s face wore. But the Church woman did not feel the tightening of her stomach, or the chill along her spine. It was not overpowering beyond her ability to contain it, and she even felt content in the glow that shown off the Marino’s form. Mati did not feel anything but beautiful as their eyes locked, seeing the acceptance, trying to recognize the wanting that came from Cambria. But the Church fey did not move deeper into the understanding, relaxing and feeling the corners of her mouth curve as she looked down at the shorter female. Content, her body letting go of its hold on the mind that it had controlled to allow this connection to occur. But once she felt that comfort, it was lost.
Her mind awoke from the daze that it had settled in, screaming for her to see what had happened between the two women and to end it before it became too intense, her heart too vulnerable and in way of the inevitable pain. Mati grew tense, her arm falling away and she fought to control the negative reaction she was so suddenly succumbed to. Her eyes fell away, though her smile stayed ridged on her face. She did not want to push her away, to give her the idea that Mati did not like her as Cambi had confessed. This was just not what she had intended, and she was so confused. Her mind reeled, her voice false in it’s positivism. “I think it will take a week or so.” Mati pulled gently backwards and away from Cambria, her front feeling instantly cold as the free air circulated between them and instantly wanting to replace that warmth that had been there. She spoke of the painting, thought of the next that that they would possibly see each other.
“But, if I need you to sit for me again I will let you know.” Her voice was hurried now, eyes still away and not wanting to see that other girls reaction to her display of affection and not her discomfort. It wasn’t a rejection, for how could one friend reject another without the exchange of words? Feeling braver at the thought Mati looked up, her eyes trying to show that friendly glow once again.
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