But you're so far away

Cotl · 03-07-2010, 10:22 PM

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Word Count: 000

In Character

He hadn't realized that she was uncomfortable with him and his switching between the German and the English, simply because he had not found a problem within it himself. He had, for the majority of his life; spoken in a broken english that was muddled with both German and English words. He sometimes, most of the time would speak in english, but sometimes he would throw in a German phrase or word because he either didn't realize he was doing it, or he couldn't think of the right word for English. He also didn't know that she had a problem with him being part dog. Why she would have a problem with it would be beyond him if he knew that she cared. Perhaps it would make him strike out as a possible interest in a mate. He would be broken if she would be like that with him. Simply because Cotl actually did think of himself to be rather handsome, and he also thought himself to be a candidate as much as anyone else in the clan for mating purposes. Just because he was a dog didn't really seem like a good excuse for someone to cross his name out on a list of possible candidates. In this way, Cotl did think high of himself. He thought himself to have as much as a chance as anyone else out there. Maybe it was just denial. It was either he lived in denial, or he lived in a miserable void of self-pity because he was rejected because of his bloodline. If anything, Cotl would rather live in complete denial.

It seemed like the woman had been expecting Cotl to be completely outrageous about being rejected on his proposal of his tattoo design. Truth was, he had been slightly disheartened by it, though his face, and eyes did not show this. They had shown a warmness that hadn't normally been there, and he had been more than happy to ask her if there was anything that he could change for her to change her mind to get the tattoo. While it’s an extraordinary piece of art, it doesn’t mean much to me. The chaos star is a sign of belonging and a mark that states who I am. The flowers are beautiful, but they don’t mean anything. the woman had spoken. Cotl and her were different in this way. Cotl hadn't really thought that he would have his own tattoos that really symbolized who he was. "Fuck me" had been an advertisement of sorts, and the skull had simply been practice for Kaena. Neither of them told anyone who he really was. They just made him have ink on him. Cotl nodded his head. He guessed that she could do whatever she had wanted, and he looked down at his ivory fingers. A shame dat I could not satisfy you. the male muttered lightly, his throat clearing itself before he tightened his grip around the multi-colored flag that he had wrapped around him. He let his eyes lower to the ground before shaking his head and letting the negative feeling pass into oblivion. Keep die sketch, und if you find yourself falling in love vith it, dhen come see me. Or, if you find somedhing else dat is better,-NYEH- dhen don't let fear cover your heart. Also, die sketch ist free since I could not satisfy you. the male spoke, nodding his head lightly to the woman, assuring her that he would do a piece for her that was not designed by him.

Cotl, himself had seen the symbols that she did not within his own art. He had not bothered to explain to her, simply because he felt like he wouldn't be able to change her mind, and in fear that he might have been wrong when he had tried and obviously failed to make something beautifully macabre for the woman that he thought was so beautifully macabre. He had failed at making the flowers as beautiful as they were, and to emphasize the blood that was so important to the picture. In his own mind, he had failed miserably, and now there was nothing he could do about it. He wanted to let out a sigh, but he didn't. Instead, he sat there silently, his bi-colored eyes on his ivory fingers that had disappointed him right now. "Fucking hands. You fucking suck. Absolutely fucking worthless." he mentally had beat himself about it now, his eyes turning cold on his own disgusting hands. The artist was disgusted with himself at the moment. He wanted to rip his hands off so he wouldn't have to disappoint anyone ever again. The only reason he didn't was because he was in the presence of this young woman, and he needed his hands for other things. He'd look stupid walking around here with no hands, and he'd probably be more useless than he was now.

He couldn't even think of anything to say anymore. So he sat there. Maybe she would have something to say.

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